The Plunderful Lizard of Ox
(a.k.a. Little Purple Flying Trunks)
(a.k.a. Little Purple Riding Trunks)
A/N: I'm a slacker.
ON WITH IT!!
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Part Ten: Okay, I totally lied about the end being last chapter. HA!
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BACK AT CAPSULE CORPORATION!
Bulma was sitting in the lab working on the intricate wiring for a water-powered garlic press when the phone rang. But she was far too busy to answer it so she left it for someone else to get. It rang and rang and rang… And rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang…
…Thirty seven times. Not even kidding. Finally, Mrs. Briefs picked it up. It wasn't for her, because she doesn't have any friends, just a crazy husband who owns a bazillion weird pets. Mrs. Breifs' voice reverberated through the hallways as she called to her daughter.
"Bulma, dear! The phone is for you! It's one of your cute little friends!"
Bulma didn't even look up from the electronic components in front of her. "Can't talk now, Mom. Tell them to call back tomorrow!"
The house became oddly quiet and calm. It was just long enough for Bulma to immerse herself in her work again. So when Mrs. Breifs suddenly appeared behind her with a cordless phone, Bulma fell backward out of her chair.
"Oh my! Are you okay, sweetie?" But her mother didn't wait for an answer; instead she pushed the phone in Bulma's face. "It's that silly bald man. Krillin. He said it was important." Mrs. Breifs snuck out of the room to do Kami-knows-what she does all day.
"Fine fine fine! Can't anyone get along without me for just ONE… DAMN…" She threw the screwdriver onto the table and flipped her magnifying glasses to sit on top of her head. "…DAY! So what do you want now, Krillin? We're not going to lend you any more money until you've paid back the ten million zeni you borrowed last week," said a very annoyed blue-haired scientist.
"Thank Kami you're there, Bulma! I was beginning to think you had gone missing, too!"
"Missing? What are you talking about?"
"Don't tell me you haven't noticed!" Krillin paused as there was a dead silence from the person on the other side of the phone. It was just like Bulma to be completely oblivious to all things in the world while she was working in her lab.
"Well of course I've noticed!" she blurted. "What do you take me for?! An ignorant bookworm?!"
"Cut the act, Bulma. I know you better than that." Again, there was the stifling silence from the other receiver. "Here's a question Bulma: Where is your son?"
"Trunks? He's uh… Well, he…" Bulma pondered the question. She had been so absorbed in her work lately that she had lost track of time. She knew she hadn't seen Trunks in a while, but when was the last…
AAaaaand then she remembered. Princess Trunks, as he insisted on being called, had left on some mission or adventure. Or something. Bulma had stopped listening to him so she didn't know. But she was certain that he was fine. "I'm sure he's just at the Son house sparring with Goten! In fact, I'll bet a wet noodle he's there!"
"Uh… I'm not gonna take you up on that wager," replied Krillin, "but I guarantee you he's not there. And neither is Goten. Or Chi-Chi. Or Goku! That's why I called. Gohan and Videl came over here looking for them, but they're not here of course. And then I thought about it, and I haven't seen Piccolo around either."
"Okay okay. So Goku and Chi-Chi went on vacation or something and didn't tell anyone. Piccolo is probably meditating in Siberia. I don't see what this has to do with–"
"Bulma! Don't you get it? Okay look, Tien flew over this morning and was completely freaked out. Apparently, he saw Piccolo with your son… that was two weeks ago, by the way. I didn't get the details, but something wasn't right between them. And then Chiaotzu went missing. Well, Tien found him last night. Er, what was left of him, anyway. Poor guy. Chiaotzu got blown to pieces in a corn(bread)field near South City… Hey! Stop laughing! It's not funny!"
Bulma clamped a hand over her mouth, but it didn't do much to stop the sound from going into the phone. "Sorry sorry. But… Chiaotzu?! It's about time that little clown died. I never liked him."
Krillin grimaced. Didn't she realize that this was serious?! "Okay Bulma. Personal differences aside, there's something strange going on here."
"Yeah, well it keeps life interesting. It's been nice talking to you, but I'd really like to get back to work now."
"Seen Vegeta lately?" Krillin slyly queried.
Well, this focused Bulma's attention. "As a matter of fact, no! Where is that good-for-nothing man? Does he expect me to run everything around here?! As soon as I get my hands on him…! Hmm, actually it's been awhile since I had my hands on him. What would I do if I got my hands on… him… Hmmmmmmmmmmm..." And Bulma's thoughts drifted. But rightfully so. I mean, c'mon.
Krillin awkwardly interrupted her daydream. "Uhhhh… My point is that half of our friends have disappeared! Don't you think that's strange?"
She contemplated this question. She contemplated it for a long time. A LOOooooong time. Krillin wondered how Bulma could be so brilliant with machines, but consistently devoid of all rational thought. He chalked it up to her being a woman.
A/N: Krillin will regret thinking that. Oh yes.
Bulma concluded, "Yes, I guess this is strange. Is that everyone who's missing? Goku, Chi-Chi, Goten, my confused little Trunks, Vegeta, and Piccolo?"
"No," said Krillin, gravely. "There's two more…"
Annoying voice of the Toonami Narrator guy (I hope most of you know who I mean): "Oh no! Two more missing?! Who could Krillin be talking about? Most of the Z fighters have vanished into thin air! Why doesn't anyone know where they went?! Why is Bulma trying to invent a water-powered garlic press? And what murderous crime must I have committed to have such a stupid role in this kickass TV show? Well, Krillin and Tien definitely have their work cut out for them… Next time, on DRAGONBALL ZEEEEEE-------"
"ALL RIGHT ALREADY!" Bulma screamed. "Enough with the suspense! Who else is missing, Krillin?!"
"Oh right. Sorry about that. For some reason, my brain just shut down before I could tell you. The two others are Yamcha and Puar."
DBZ end credit music playing. "Head Cha-la" perhaps. You know what song I mean. Hee hee hee
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A/N: I know this wasn't my usual kind of insane writing, but I hope it was amusing. Let me know what you thought of the different "style" of humor. Or if you would call it "humor" at all. Let me know. I'd like to know. Get it? ^-^
Next chapter is the dungeon, I swear! How about some reviews to make me write it faster? ^_____^