Fweeeee! (see? corruption! O_O) Lotsa pretty reviews!! Me so happy!! Thanks soo much to: CherubKatan (What? Are you crazy? ONLY thongs?! Sweetie, expand your horizons please! XD *cackles*), LittleIsa (Yes, Yohji has PMS... but we still love Ken!), Carter Tachikawa (YES!! G-strings are wonderful! *hears Ran bash in his head somewhere in the far distance*), Chieru (Yes, we always see Ken clumsy, somewhat stupid, but always giving. I wanted to highlight that part of him most), Pocky King Windy (Chicken out? Fine, scarfing pocky is good too! O_O *whacks Yohji for hurting onii-chan* Lemon? *looks around* where? you writing one? ^_~), Shime (Yeah, I know they're short, I'll try to make 'em longer, but expect short chapters too, sworry... ;_;), Astralkitten (Yeah! ^^ This is the kind of Ken I love seeing best too, he's soo sweeet!), Atsureki (oh really? *yaoi grin* enlighten me then as how Ken can cheer up Rannie...), Misura (Redbean ice cream is goood! XD), and Dreamwriter613 (look! I wrote more! ^^)
Standard Disclaimer:
kami: REALLY. What is the harm in me owning Weiß? Or any other fan owning them for that matter?
Ken: ... *clutches to Ran for dear life*
Ran: *twitches uncontrollably*
Ken: NOT HAPPENING!!
Ran: We are the property of Koyasu Takehito and Project Weiß.
Ken: *COUGH* No, Ran, you're MY property! *rawr*
Ran: ... *grabs Ken and runs far far away...*
kami: *left standing in the dust* T__T Not fair... *sniffles*
Misc: Shounen-ai, yaoi-implications for this chapter! AHA! See, in my happy-yaoi mind, I want to make this fic KenxRan but I didn't know if this fic fit that criteria, etc, etc. But for now, that is the pairing. *hears cheers* ^___^ I'm sorry if there are any spelling mistakes as MS Word corrupts my comp and anything I try to download shuts off my comp. Please forgive me! *bows* Like I mentioned, this takes place after the OAVs but before the dramas. OOC-ness a bit on Ran's part I guess. No flames please!!
BTW, this denotes thought, and only with the exception of the prolouge and a few parts, 'this denotes a voice, who that voice is, is entirely up to you' *This denotes emphasis*
Liberation Through You - by kamibukurosama
Okay, he took a deep breath mentally, two down, one to go... Ken's gaze shifted to his last teammate and barely suppressed his wince. Aya would definitely prove to be a challenge. Aya caught Ken's gaze and returned it with a cold stare that seemed to freeze Ken to his spot.
"...What." Unfortunately, Ken wouldn't be blessed today with hearing more than a very select, few choice monosyllabic words from Aya. Before he got off track and started to wonder what exactly made Aya like this constantly, he had to think of an excuse to reply to Aya's blunt inquiry.
"Um... I, err... Anou..." Great! Fucking great! Damnit, I'm supposed to be good at lying! I've only done it for God knows how many years now!, he inwardly scowled.
"*What,* Ken?" Maybe it was indeed Ken's lucky day. Aya actually said his name. Shit! Com'on Hidaka, you ass, THINK!
"Iie! It's nothing! It's just... your hair..." If Ken had an invisible third arm, he was positively sure that he would be using it to smack his head now. Aya looked smugly entertained. He folded his arms and waited to see what wonderful thing Ken would come up with.
"Yeah... it reminded me of my favorite sweatshirt... the red one! And that I promised myself that today I'd clean up my apartment because I lost it somewhere in there! Sooo... I'd best be on my waaay..." he breathed out, carefully inching his way backwards to the stairs. Aya merely lifted a slender eyebrow and looked like he was about to say something cold, something Aya would always say.
"Oh... yes. That would be to your benefit if that truly was your favorite sweatshirt, Ken," he said in a soft voice.
Ken was stunned. It wasn't a compliment exactly, but it wasn't an insult, biting comment, bitter, or cold at all. It seemed that even Aya was surprised at what came out of his own mouth, as his violet eyes widened in mild confusion.
"It is most likely a horrendous pigsty in there as well..."
Whew! I'd never though I'd *want* to hear Aya say that! He didn't hang around to try and talk back because he knew he'd probably get his foot in his mouth. Ken quickly turned and dashed up the stairs and into his apartment, loudly slamming the door behind him.
What was THAT all about? Aya? Being civil? Ken flopped down on his bed, letting relaxation slowly seep into his tired body. Alright, granted Aya acted 'normal' afterwards, but--something was off... Ken couldn't say whether it was something good or bad. He felt a little guilty though. Ken was the kind of guy that didn't forget a face and he made it a point to be friendly and close with his accquaintances. Ken had worked with Weiß for serveral years now, and it bothered him to no ends that he really knew nothing about the quiet redhead. That look on Aya's face... no one saw anything less than complete and total control in his eyes. They held no emotion and the violet orbs only showed a frigid and dark inward. So to see anything other than that was nonetheless to say weird.
Ken closed his eyes and in front of his eyelids, he could easily envision the Aya he saw earlier. Innocence filled his deep gaze and something else temporarily inhabited them as well. Something Ken knew he was probably familiar with, but just couldn't pinpoint at the moment. Confusion? A wish? Perhaps a longing?
A chuckle could be heard in the otherwise quiet room. Why am I thinking so hard about this? Oh yeah, that's why... Ken always knew Aya was different, to him at least. Well, of course he is! I mean, not only is he beautiful... And how can you not agree? Have you ever seen hair like that? See, *that* is the kind of color you can never get from a bottle! It's so red and so pretty. And his skin! It's so unnaturally pale! But it's like fragile porcelain and I bet it's soft 'cos he has to take care of it. *I'd* like to take care of it...
His eyes... I've never seen anything like them. Violet... amethyst eyes. There's more to them than we'll ever know. I've seen him on missions! With discipline and professionalism like that... no way this is the real him! I know it! It has to be! There *is* something there! Despite what everyone else says!
Ken leaned further back in bed and his eyes fluttered as he brought to mind his favorite vision of Aya. One of where Aya was on pristine white silk sheets below him, his normally controlled face flushed, hair damp with sweat and head thrashing, caught in the throes of passion. Passion caused entirely by Ken. Who was he kidding though? He was Hidaka Ken. The Ken the world thought to be that nice boy next door. The one that liked soccer, the one any mother would love to see her daughter bring home. The cute, young man that always smiled and would never hesitate to do something nice for someone.
What a lie... Ken knew they were lies because he spent so much time perfecting his public image. He was a hell-damned murderer! At least Aya didn't put on a facade... Yeah right, he just mastered it, is all... Nonetheless, the abrupt pessimistic views killed his personal little fantasy. Looking down, Ken caught sight of a wet spot on the front of his sweats and grumbled. Again?! That's the third time this week, Hidaka! Argh! He got up to take off his sweats and threw them in the overflowing laundry bin. His boxers were just as wet in the front and he figured a nice, cold shower would help. He threw in his t-shirt as well, and clad in his boxers, turned to go to his bathroom... until he heard a polite, yet firm knocking on his door. "Ken? I'm coming in."
Oh shit, oh shit, OH SHIT! Ken quickly whirled around so as Aya entered his bedroom, Ken's backside would be facing him. "Ken? Is this a bad time? I'll come back at another time then..." Aya's voice sounded sad and at the same time confused. "N-no! It's fine! You just caught me changing! I, err, don't care, I mean, we're both guys, right? Who cares? Sooo, tell me, Aya. What can Ken do for you?" he breathed out, letting out a stupid-sounding laugh. Ken heard Aya come closer and sit down on his bed behind him. "First, I must have you understand that whatever is said now is strictly within our confidences and is not to be mentioned. Do you understand that, Ken?" asked Aya.
So... Aya was going to confide in Ken. Something personal that would be a secret. Ken had an urge to turn around and completely glomp him, and barely caught himself in time to remember he was only wearing his boxers that were wet because of Aya in the first place. Carefully regaining his balance, he responded, "O-of course! You can trust me anytime! So, what can Kenken do for you?" Com'on already!
"...I thought you hated to be called that," said Aya quietly. "Really! I don't care, as long as you are comfortable. It doesn't matter... so tell me, what do you want to talk about?" Ken quickly said, stumbling over the words as he spoke them. "Well, for starters, can you face me, Ken? I'm trying to say something and you're staring out the window with your back to me." Oh nooo... Ken inwardly groaned. "Uh, sure, no problem!" And before Aya could react, Ken leapt for the corner of the bed next to Aya and snatched a pillow to put on his lap to cover the embarrassing wet spot. Aya sat back dumbfounded as Ken sweatdropped and put on an innocent, yet sheepish smile.
Aya put back on his serious face and his fingers found fuzzies on the pillow Ken was holding. "Well, you always tell Omi, Kudoh and I that you'd always be there for us if we ever wanted to confide, and I know that the other two had taken you up on your offer. But I know as well that we four have more than our share of traumatizing histories. And I'm glad that you three are trying to live your lives, despite of what we do.
"I am different in that aspect. I am not that strong a person as you may otherwise believe. And rightfully so. I close myself because although it may seem selfish, I know that I am unable to support the strains and burdens of others on a personal level. I... just am unable to without losing sight of my goals and my purpose in life. I'd... break. There's so much pent up inside and I cannot bring myself to do anything about it, because deep inside, I know that on some level I deserve every bit of hardship and anguish that I get. I'm chained to myself and I cannot break out. What I wanted to know is... Ken, how you do you it? I *know* you don't allow others to share in your own burdens. You selflessly offer others your strength.
"And yet, you continue to smile. All people look up to you. You work for your community, you seem to have a zest for life. Despite our true professions... our duties to take lives of those not fit to live them. And you harbor the pains of betrayal and lost opprotunity from your own past... how? Continue to kill night after night... and still selflessly live for others? How, Ken? Tell me! Show me how you can be strong for others as well as for yourself! What's your secret?! Ken..." Aya's knuckles tightly clutched the fabric of the pillow situated in Ken's lap and his red head was hung, hiding his face.
Hooooooly crap, no way ANY of that made sense... I *swear*! I'm practically contradicting myself every other sentence and ranting, aaargh!! *pulls hair* I'm still in school and according to my grades and teachers, I cannot write for the life of me and I think I'm starting to see why -.-;;; *mopes over her gazillion page essays awash in a sea of red ink*
Erm, the next part will take some time to put up because I really don't have much written yet. If you're following my other fic, Weiß Newlywed Game!, I should have it done by this weekend if I don't forget about it. Me's going to the United Nations building for a regional Japanese Fair this Monday!! *jumps up and down* XD
Ran: *still within giant hole kami has previously dug and looking for methods to kill himself*
Ken: ...and you'd NEVER believe how incredibly kinky Ran is!
kami: XD REALLY?! Liiiike, what does he do?!
Ran: Why? *looks up to the light emmanating from the top of the pit* God, why must you torture me so? Is this all some sort of giant cosmic joke you're playing on me? Haha, I laughed, GET ME OUT!
kami: *walks over to the brim of the pit* Wanna know why Rannie?
Ran: *contemplates this* Probably not... -.-;; And since when are you god?
Ken: I do it because I love my Rannie! ^__^
kami: Sweet! Yeah, that too, but mainly because I'm ebbil and it hurts the real god! I'm just here to screw with everyone.
Ken: In short, you're insane. Ow! *gets whapped by kami*
Ran: I *knew* I didn't want to know...
Review pwease!! \^o^/