The Plunderful Lizard of Ox
(a.k.a. Little Purple Flying Trunks) (a.k.a. Little Purple Riding Trunks)
A/N: Ever wonder how exactly The Author/Narrator thing works in this story? Maybe this chapter will help. If not, I'll just explain it at the end ^___^
ON WITH IT!!
***************************************
Part Twelve: Yes This Really is a Chapter
***************************************
The Author and The Narrator were having tea and crumpets because Americans try to copy other cultures for the reason that they have none of their own.
(A/N: Yes, I am American. Which means that I have the right to make fun of myself and our society. So bugger off! Tee hee hee.)
So tea and crumpets...
("What the hell is a crumpet?"), asked The Narrator, curiously examining the thing being held in hand.
\\Munch munch I don't know, but they sure are tasty!//
("Well, I hope they're not made out of beef fat like that frosting I bought at the grocery store.")
\\Munch munch//
(Munch munch)
\\Munch munch//
(Munch munch)
\\Munch munch//
(Munch munch)
\\Munch munch//
(Munch munch)
\\Munch munch//
(Munch munch)
\\Mmmmm! That was delightful! So what shall we do today?//
("Well, I suppose we could check back on the Little Purple Riding Trunks story we are publishing on ff.net")
\\Ah yes! Let us do that.//
So The Author and The Narrator logged onto the Internet with their slow-as- shit phone modem and opened the ff.net website. They found their story and, simultaneously, their faces fell. In sadness. They were sad.
The Author became teary-eyed and nearly started bawling. There was something horrible on that computer screen. Something dreadful and sad. The Author's heart filled with wrenching pain and sorrow at the sight of it.
No new reviews since the last time they checked.
\\*sniffle* Why don't more of the readers give us reviews, Narrator?//
("BECAUSE THEY'RE FILTHY WHORES!")
The Author's eyes grew wide and the tears dried up.
\\No! Don't insult the readers, Narrator! You might scare them away! Besides, we've been known to read an occasional story and not review it.//
The Narrator's arms crossed, with head rested on chest.
("Yeah, well only if it sucked beyond all reason. I mean, it's a common courtesy to review a story after you've read it. It's every Author's ultimate goal: to get 100s of reviews.")
\\I'll admit, the reviews make this worthwhile.//
(*sniffle* "I need more crumpets." Munch munch munch munch)
\\Now now, Narrator. Eating those crumpets won't make you happy.//
("I guess you're right.") The Narrator set down the box of crumpets. Do crumpets even come in boxes? Uhhhh... Oh well...
\\Let's write a chapter for this fic. It still makes us happy, right?//
("Of course! Nothing could be better, than a pocket full of cheddar!")
\\Couldn't have said it better myself!//
So The Author began to think about what should happen next in the craaazeeeee story. And as The Author thought it, The Narrator typed it (i.e., narrating it).
It went something like this:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THIS FANFIC HAVE BEEN TURNED INTO GORILLAS!!!
Tune in next week to find out who/why/how this happened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\\AHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA. THAT WAS GREAT!!//
The Author fell into a hysterical fit of laughter and was rolling on the floor.
The Narrator's eyes rolled and waited for The Author to regain sanity. Maybe it'll happen in seven days, but don't hold your breath. The odds lean toward infinity to zero.
***********************************
A/N: Ok, here's the explanation of The Author/Narrator thing. So. for this story, "Little Purple Riding Trunks," The Author and The Narrator are writing under the name "Vegeta-shun." I am Vegeta-shun. I am The Author AND The Narrator.
I like to think that I have a split personality when I write this. "The Author," a crazy, slightly brain-dead, yet innocent person with lots of imagination and lots of love for the characters. The Author's collaborator, "The Narrator," is a realistic and blunt sidekick, who knows the technical "rules" for writing the story. And of course they swap and share characteristics some times, b/c hey... they are both me ^___^
I hope that doesn't sound too psychotic. At least I'm not writing in third person. Yet.
Mwahahahahahahahahaha.
(a.k.a. Little Purple Flying Trunks) (a.k.a. Little Purple Riding Trunks)
A/N: Ever wonder how exactly The Author/Narrator thing works in this story? Maybe this chapter will help. If not, I'll just explain it at the end ^___^
ON WITH IT!!
***************************************
Part Twelve: Yes This Really is a Chapter
***************************************
The Author and The Narrator were having tea and crumpets because Americans try to copy other cultures for the reason that they have none of their own.
(A/N: Yes, I am American. Which means that I have the right to make fun of myself and our society. So bugger off! Tee hee hee.)
So tea and crumpets...
("What the hell is a crumpet?"), asked The Narrator, curiously examining the thing being held in hand.
\\Munch munch I don't know, but they sure are tasty!//
("Well, I hope they're not made out of beef fat like that frosting I bought at the grocery store.")
\\Munch munch//
(Munch munch)
\\Munch munch//
(Munch munch)
\\Munch munch//
(Munch munch)
\\Munch munch//
(Munch munch)
\\Munch munch//
(Munch munch)
\\Mmmmm! That was delightful! So what shall we do today?//
("Well, I suppose we could check back on the Little Purple Riding Trunks story we are publishing on ff.net")
\\Ah yes! Let us do that.//
So The Author and The Narrator logged onto the Internet with their slow-as- shit phone modem and opened the ff.net website. They found their story and, simultaneously, their faces fell. In sadness. They were sad.
The Author became teary-eyed and nearly started bawling. There was something horrible on that computer screen. Something dreadful and sad. The Author's heart filled with wrenching pain and sorrow at the sight of it.
No new reviews since the last time they checked.
\\*sniffle* Why don't more of the readers give us reviews, Narrator?//
("BECAUSE THEY'RE FILTHY WHORES!")
The Author's eyes grew wide and the tears dried up.
\\No! Don't insult the readers, Narrator! You might scare them away! Besides, we've been known to read an occasional story and not review it.//
The Narrator's arms crossed, with head rested on chest.
("Yeah, well only if it sucked beyond all reason. I mean, it's a common courtesy to review a story after you've read it. It's every Author's ultimate goal: to get 100s of reviews.")
\\I'll admit, the reviews make this worthwhile.//
(*sniffle* "I need more crumpets." Munch munch munch munch)
\\Now now, Narrator. Eating those crumpets won't make you happy.//
("I guess you're right.") The Narrator set down the box of crumpets. Do crumpets even come in boxes? Uhhhh... Oh well...
\\Let's write a chapter for this fic. It still makes us happy, right?//
("Of course! Nothing could be better, than a pocket full of cheddar!")
\\Couldn't have said it better myself!//
So The Author began to think about what should happen next in the craaazeeeee story. And as The Author thought it, The Narrator typed it (i.e., narrating it).
It went something like this:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THIS FANFIC HAVE BEEN TURNED INTO GORILLAS!!!
Tune in next week to find out who/why/how this happened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\\AHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA. THAT WAS GREAT!!//
The Author fell into a hysterical fit of laughter and was rolling on the floor.
The Narrator's eyes rolled and waited for The Author to regain sanity. Maybe it'll happen in seven days, but don't hold your breath. The odds lean toward infinity to zero.
***********************************
A/N: Ok, here's the explanation of The Author/Narrator thing. So. for this story, "Little Purple Riding Trunks," The Author and The Narrator are writing under the name "Vegeta-shun." I am Vegeta-shun. I am The Author AND The Narrator.
I like to think that I have a split personality when I write this. "The Author," a crazy, slightly brain-dead, yet innocent person with lots of imagination and lots of love for the characters. The Author's collaborator, "The Narrator," is a realistic and blunt sidekick, who knows the technical "rules" for writing the story. And of course they swap and share characteristics some times, b/c hey... they are both me ^___^
I hope that doesn't sound too psychotic. At least I'm not writing in third person. Yet.
Mwahahahahahahahahaha.