CHAPTER 3~ An Unspoken Bond
DRACO'S POV~
She used some pretty strong words. Hate. What is hate? The dictionary defines it as (noun) intense hostility or aversion, (verb) to strongly dislike. I followed her down the stairs. I was lugging her heavy trunk behind me. What the hell did she keep in it? Never mind, I didn't want to know. Once again, I made her floo back first. When she disappeared, I followed. I didn't want to be stuck in a house with a bunch of people who loathed me. When I arrived, I paid Tom 25 galleons, and she was put in the room next to mine. Room 15. I lugged Granger's trunk up to her room and placed it at the foot of her bed. Thinking my good deed for the day was done, I turned to leave, but I stopped when she called my name.
"Malfoy?"
"What?" I snapped a little harsher than I meant to.
She didn't even notice, just asked, "Did I over react? Hate is such a strong verb. I feel just slightly horrible about saying that." She sat down on her bed. I knew she wasn't going to cry even though it looked like she wanted to. If it was the Granger of two years ago, she would've broke down right there.
"I don't know, but I think what they did to you was more horrible than what you said to them, and you have every right to be pissed at them," I answered. I was still standing by the door. I felt so uncomfortable. The situation I was in was very arduous. I was actually trying to help the girl whom I've despised for the last five years of my life.
She looked up at me, and her eyes locked with mine. It was like I was rooted to the spot. I saw something in her eyes that I had never seen before, and I didn't know what it was or what it meant. It was I who broke the contact. I stared at the floor and mumbled, "If you need me, I'll be next door." She nodded and I walked out.
I was lying on my bed for a while, and I heard a beautiful song coming out of the room next door. I put my ear to the wall that separated my room from hers and sure enough it was her voice. She sang beautifully.
I wake up in the morning
Put on my face
The one that's gonna get me
Through another day
Doesn't really matter
How I feel inside
'Cause life is like a game sometimes
But then you came around me
The walls just disappeared
Nothing to surround me
And keep me from my fears
I'm unprotected
See how I've opened up
Oh, you've made me trust
Because I've never felt like this before
I'm naked
Around you
Does it show?
You see right through me
And I can't hide
I'm naked
Around you
And it feels so right
I'm trying to remember
Why I was afraid
To be myself and let the
Covers fall away
I guess I never had someone like you
To help me, to help me fit
In my skin
I never felt like this before
I'm naked
Around you
Does it show?
You see right through me
And I can't hide
I'm naked
Around you
And it feels so right
I'm naked
Oh oh yeah
Does it show?
Yeah, I'm naked
Oh oh, yeah yeah
I'm so naked around you
And I can't hide
You're gonna (you're gonna) see right through, baby
you're gonna see right through,
i'm so naked around you,
and i can't hide,
you're gonna see right through, baby (Avril Lavigne: Naked)
I was a bit upset. She stopped singing after that song. I figured that she might have fallen asleep, but I wished she would've kept going.
When I awoke the next morning, it was still early. I took a shower, dressed quickly and then headed downstairs for breakfast. I scanned around quickly and didn't see Granger anywhere. I took the small booth in the corner that I usually sat in. No one bothered me there. I just liked to watch the different types of magical creatures and people walking around.
When I was about half way through breakfast, Granger sat down across from me. She opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off. "Did I say you could sit there?"
Her face went from a smile to a frown. "Got a stick up your ass this morning, Malfoy?"
"You can't sit there. I can't be caught associating with your type," I whispered harshly so no one would hear.
"You didn't seem to mind yesterday," she pointed out. God she was so persistent and stubborn.
"Listen, Mudblood, just get the fuck away from me!"
That was it. She gave me that death glare that was reserved especially for me. "You fucking asshole! Why should you care who sits with you? I should've never trusted you. Shit, I thought you changed. I was never so wrong in my entire horrid existence. I didn't think that you would ever follow in your father's footsteps. I can't believe you!" She got up and stormed up the stairs.
She was so right. I was turning out to be just like that bastard, Lucius. Yesterday, she trusted me; today I totally shunned her. How could I possibly be so stupid? After a minute, I ran up the stairs to her room.
~
HERMIONE'S POV~
How could I trust him? I told him things that I had never told anyone in my life. I was so stupid. It was stupid to think Malfoy could actually be remotely nice to me. I pulled out my dagger and dragged it down my scarred arm. I watched the blood drip out, but I still could not get him out of my head. I began another cut, but stopped in the middle of it when I heard a knock on my door.
"Granger?" his voice was soft and sounded almost scared. "Granger, please open the door." I didn't care how scared and vulnerable he was at the moment. I was not opening that door unless he gave me a good reason to. "Tell me you're not doing what I think you're doing." I kept silent and felt the clod rush of blood still dripping down my arm. Maybe if I stayed silent, he would just go away. "Hermione, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I was afraid that Lucius had spies or something around."
"Excuse me?" I asked. I thought I heard him just say my first name. "What did you say?"
"I was afraid Lucius had spies?"
"Before that."
"I'm sorry?"
"Yeah, that's a first, but before that too."
"Hermione?" his voice was barely audible, but I still managed to hear it.'
"Yes, that. Since when am I anything but Granger or Mudblood to you?"
"Since I decided to grow up just now. No one deserves to be treated with such malice and hatred."
I walked over to the door and opened it slowly. "I'm still calling you Malfoy," I stated. "I don't trust you and I don't like you. Get that straight. I will not throw myself onto you like a ten-cent whore because you finally learned my name. I simply opened the door to let you know that I accept your apology."
Draco nodded and looked down at my arm. "Why'd you do that again?"
"Are you that dense?" I asked turning my back to him and walking over to my bed to put my dagger away.
"Sometimes," he answered.
I went into the bathroom and rinsed my arm under warm water so that it wouldn't get infected. Then I wrapped a towel around it, one to dry it, and two so I could apply pressure and stop the blood flow. When it slowed to almost a stop, I wrapped tape around it. I looked up and saw Malfoy watching me. "What?" I snapped.
He looked startled. "Huh?"
"Never mind," I muttered. I finished taping my arm, and I ripped it with my teeth. "Why are you acting so strange?"
"I find you intriguing," he answered taking a step toward me.
"How so?" I crossed my arms over my chest and stood exactly where I was. My facial expression didn't waver. I wasn't scared of him like most people were.
"I don't know. You just are." He took another step toward me.
"Malfoy, are you okay? You are acting weirder than normal. And why are you looking at me like that?" His eyes were roaming up and down my body. It looked like he was trying to strip me of my clothing with his eyes.
"Like what?" He was now within arms length of me.
"Like you wanna strip me of my clothing like a rabid beast and seduce me right here and now."
"Maybe I do. You could think of it as a formal apology."
~
DRACO'S POV~
I watched her eyes grow wide with my last comment. I don't know what come over me, but I suddenly found her beautiful. She had absolutely no fear in her eyes. She just looked at me with a very confused expression planted on her face. We were only inches apart and I could feel her slow, hot, ragged breath on my face.
"You already apologized," she whispered.
"So?"
"So you've done what you came here to do. You can do whatever it is that you do and leave me alone."
"I don't wanna leave you alone," I answered her. "We could help to take each other's pain away."
"I don't think that's a good idea. I hardly even know you and you expect me to go to bed with you? Isn't that pushing things a bit?"
"Don't tell me you're scared. I see no fear in your eyes, but you could still be scared. What do you have against this anyway?"
"Everything."
"I started whispering the words to "Warning" by Incubus in her ear.
Bat your eyes girl, be otherworldly,
count your blessings, seduce a stranger.
What's so wrong with being happy?
Kudos to those who see through sickness.
When she woke in the morning
she knew that her life had passed her by.
And she called out a warning,
"Don't ever let life pass you by."
I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal.
When will we learn? When will we change?
Just in time to see it all fall down.
Those left standing... will make millions...
writing books on the way it should have been.
When she woke in the morning
she knew that her life had passed her by.
And she called out a warning,
"Don't ever let life pass you by."
Floating in this cosmic jacuzzi
we are like frogs oblivious to the water starting to boil.
No one flinches, we all float face down.
When she woke in the morning
she knew that her life had passed her by.
And she called out a warning, - "Draco, stop." "Don't ever let life pass you by."
"Draco, hmm? I think we're getting somewhere." I started trailing kisses down her jaw, but she pushed me back with all the strength she could muster, which was a lot.
"I told you to stop," she warned. "I don't think I will ever trust you enough to share the same bed with you without having to touch you. I need someone who knows commitment. I need someone who will be there when I wake up. I don't want someone who's going to screw me, go around bragging, and looking for another target." She eyed me carefully as if she were implying something.
"Listen, I know I've had my fair share of girlfriends, and yeah, I've kissed a few, but I never even came close to screwing any of them. I couldn't trust any of them."
"Then how come you want me so bad?"
Yes, Hermione Granger was very stubborn. "Because I see something in you. The same thing that's inside of me. I know you feel something too. I'll leave you to think." I walked out of the room without glancing back.
What the hell was I thinking? I had called her Hermione, and I tried to get her to sleep with me. I've never even given that subject much thought when it came to the girls I've dated. I don't know why I felt different about this girl. She was my enemy since I started Hogwarts, but she had been through almost the same things as me, and I felt I had a certain bond with her. It was an unspoken bond.
~
HERMIONE'S POV~
Did he actually expect me to sleep with him? I almost gave in too. He has been my worst enemy for five years. I can't even remotely think about liking him. Or can I? Harry, Ron, and Ginny wouldn't care; they hated me now. I didn't know what to do. I was very bamboozled about this whole situation. I did feel my heart beat much faster when I was around him, though.
I didn't eat anything that day. All I could do was sit on my bed and think about Draco. I had called him by his first name, without even meaning to and now he was going to expect that all the time. I didn't understand him, but the strange thing was, I wanted to. I, Hermione Granger, wanted to understand Draco Malfoy. I guess it was because I felt that the shit that went on in our lives, we had this bond. This unspoken bond.
~
DRACO'S POV~
It was the day before we had to leave for King's Cross Station. I hadn't really talked to Hermione that much. It was like she was avoiding me. She did have a good reason, I mean what I did was way out of line. She was right, it was like we had just met each other for the first time this summer. The only things we did talk about when we talked at all were school, studying, and occasionally her ex-friends. I felt guilty when I talked to her; I knew she didn't trust me. I had gained some trust for a few short hours, and I had blown it. Sometimes I really was an asshole. I didn't know if I liked her. My heart would skip a few beats every time I got too close to her or my eyes met hers.
I was sitting at my normal table, eating lunch when Hermione sat across from me. "How are we getting to King's Cross tomorrow?" she asked.
I didn't look up, but I could feel her eyes studying my face. "I booked two seats on the Knight Bus. It'll be here at 10 tomorrow morning. I told them to come early to make sure that we would be there in enough time."
"Alright." She got up to move to another table. Since that first morning, she had sat on the other side with her back facing me.
"You don't have to go," I said quietly.
"Excuse me?"
"You can sit with me if you want. There's not many other people I fancy speaking to. It's kinda lonely around here." I still did not look up. I was pretending to be interested in the piece of meat I was poking with my fork. Once again, I felt her eyeing me suspiciously.
"Are you sure that a lowly mudblood like myself is worthy to sit with such a high and mighty pureblood as you?"
Now I did look up. I found no trace of sarcasm in her voice; she was totally serious. I looked at her closely and mumbled, "You're not a mudblood."
"What?" My statement had managed to get her totally confused.
"You are a witch."
DRACO'S POV~
She used some pretty strong words. Hate. What is hate? The dictionary defines it as (noun) intense hostility or aversion, (verb) to strongly dislike. I followed her down the stairs. I was lugging her heavy trunk behind me. What the hell did she keep in it? Never mind, I didn't want to know. Once again, I made her floo back first. When she disappeared, I followed. I didn't want to be stuck in a house with a bunch of people who loathed me. When I arrived, I paid Tom 25 galleons, and she was put in the room next to mine. Room 15. I lugged Granger's trunk up to her room and placed it at the foot of her bed. Thinking my good deed for the day was done, I turned to leave, but I stopped when she called my name.
"Malfoy?"
"What?" I snapped a little harsher than I meant to.
She didn't even notice, just asked, "Did I over react? Hate is such a strong verb. I feel just slightly horrible about saying that." She sat down on her bed. I knew she wasn't going to cry even though it looked like she wanted to. If it was the Granger of two years ago, she would've broke down right there.
"I don't know, but I think what they did to you was more horrible than what you said to them, and you have every right to be pissed at them," I answered. I was still standing by the door. I felt so uncomfortable. The situation I was in was very arduous. I was actually trying to help the girl whom I've despised for the last five years of my life.
She looked up at me, and her eyes locked with mine. It was like I was rooted to the spot. I saw something in her eyes that I had never seen before, and I didn't know what it was or what it meant. It was I who broke the contact. I stared at the floor and mumbled, "If you need me, I'll be next door." She nodded and I walked out.
I was lying on my bed for a while, and I heard a beautiful song coming out of the room next door. I put my ear to the wall that separated my room from hers and sure enough it was her voice. She sang beautifully.
I wake up in the morning
Put on my face
The one that's gonna get me
Through another day
Doesn't really matter
How I feel inside
'Cause life is like a game sometimes
But then you came around me
The walls just disappeared
Nothing to surround me
And keep me from my fears
I'm unprotected
See how I've opened up
Oh, you've made me trust
Because I've never felt like this before
I'm naked
Around you
Does it show?
You see right through me
And I can't hide
I'm naked
Around you
And it feels so right
I'm trying to remember
Why I was afraid
To be myself and let the
Covers fall away
I guess I never had someone like you
To help me, to help me fit
In my skin
I never felt like this before
I'm naked
Around you
Does it show?
You see right through me
And I can't hide
I'm naked
Around you
And it feels so right
I'm naked
Oh oh yeah
Does it show?
Yeah, I'm naked
Oh oh, yeah yeah
I'm so naked around you
And I can't hide
You're gonna (you're gonna) see right through, baby
you're gonna see right through,
i'm so naked around you,
and i can't hide,
you're gonna see right through, baby (Avril Lavigne: Naked)
I was a bit upset. She stopped singing after that song. I figured that she might have fallen asleep, but I wished she would've kept going.
When I awoke the next morning, it was still early. I took a shower, dressed quickly and then headed downstairs for breakfast. I scanned around quickly and didn't see Granger anywhere. I took the small booth in the corner that I usually sat in. No one bothered me there. I just liked to watch the different types of magical creatures and people walking around.
When I was about half way through breakfast, Granger sat down across from me. She opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off. "Did I say you could sit there?"
Her face went from a smile to a frown. "Got a stick up your ass this morning, Malfoy?"
"You can't sit there. I can't be caught associating with your type," I whispered harshly so no one would hear.
"You didn't seem to mind yesterday," she pointed out. God she was so persistent and stubborn.
"Listen, Mudblood, just get the fuck away from me!"
That was it. She gave me that death glare that was reserved especially for me. "You fucking asshole! Why should you care who sits with you? I should've never trusted you. Shit, I thought you changed. I was never so wrong in my entire horrid existence. I didn't think that you would ever follow in your father's footsteps. I can't believe you!" She got up and stormed up the stairs.
She was so right. I was turning out to be just like that bastard, Lucius. Yesterday, she trusted me; today I totally shunned her. How could I possibly be so stupid? After a minute, I ran up the stairs to her room.
~
HERMIONE'S POV~
How could I trust him? I told him things that I had never told anyone in my life. I was so stupid. It was stupid to think Malfoy could actually be remotely nice to me. I pulled out my dagger and dragged it down my scarred arm. I watched the blood drip out, but I still could not get him out of my head. I began another cut, but stopped in the middle of it when I heard a knock on my door.
"Granger?" his voice was soft and sounded almost scared. "Granger, please open the door." I didn't care how scared and vulnerable he was at the moment. I was not opening that door unless he gave me a good reason to. "Tell me you're not doing what I think you're doing." I kept silent and felt the clod rush of blood still dripping down my arm. Maybe if I stayed silent, he would just go away. "Hermione, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I was afraid that Lucius had spies or something around."
"Excuse me?" I asked. I thought I heard him just say my first name. "What did you say?"
"I was afraid Lucius had spies?"
"Before that."
"I'm sorry?"
"Yeah, that's a first, but before that too."
"Hermione?" his voice was barely audible, but I still managed to hear it.'
"Yes, that. Since when am I anything but Granger or Mudblood to you?"
"Since I decided to grow up just now. No one deserves to be treated with such malice and hatred."
I walked over to the door and opened it slowly. "I'm still calling you Malfoy," I stated. "I don't trust you and I don't like you. Get that straight. I will not throw myself onto you like a ten-cent whore because you finally learned my name. I simply opened the door to let you know that I accept your apology."
Draco nodded and looked down at my arm. "Why'd you do that again?"
"Are you that dense?" I asked turning my back to him and walking over to my bed to put my dagger away.
"Sometimes," he answered.
I went into the bathroom and rinsed my arm under warm water so that it wouldn't get infected. Then I wrapped a towel around it, one to dry it, and two so I could apply pressure and stop the blood flow. When it slowed to almost a stop, I wrapped tape around it. I looked up and saw Malfoy watching me. "What?" I snapped.
He looked startled. "Huh?"
"Never mind," I muttered. I finished taping my arm, and I ripped it with my teeth. "Why are you acting so strange?"
"I find you intriguing," he answered taking a step toward me.
"How so?" I crossed my arms over my chest and stood exactly where I was. My facial expression didn't waver. I wasn't scared of him like most people were.
"I don't know. You just are." He took another step toward me.
"Malfoy, are you okay? You are acting weirder than normal. And why are you looking at me like that?" His eyes were roaming up and down my body. It looked like he was trying to strip me of my clothing with his eyes.
"Like what?" He was now within arms length of me.
"Like you wanna strip me of my clothing like a rabid beast and seduce me right here and now."
"Maybe I do. You could think of it as a formal apology."
~
DRACO'S POV~
I watched her eyes grow wide with my last comment. I don't know what come over me, but I suddenly found her beautiful. She had absolutely no fear in her eyes. She just looked at me with a very confused expression planted on her face. We were only inches apart and I could feel her slow, hot, ragged breath on my face.
"You already apologized," she whispered.
"So?"
"So you've done what you came here to do. You can do whatever it is that you do and leave me alone."
"I don't wanna leave you alone," I answered her. "We could help to take each other's pain away."
"I don't think that's a good idea. I hardly even know you and you expect me to go to bed with you? Isn't that pushing things a bit?"
"Don't tell me you're scared. I see no fear in your eyes, but you could still be scared. What do you have against this anyway?"
"Everything."
"I started whispering the words to "Warning" by Incubus in her ear.
Bat your eyes girl, be otherworldly,
count your blessings, seduce a stranger.
What's so wrong with being happy?
Kudos to those who see through sickness.
When she woke in the morning
she knew that her life had passed her by.
And she called out a warning,
"Don't ever let life pass you by."
I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal.
When will we learn? When will we change?
Just in time to see it all fall down.
Those left standing... will make millions...
writing books on the way it should have been.
When she woke in the morning
she knew that her life had passed her by.
And she called out a warning,
"Don't ever let life pass you by."
Floating in this cosmic jacuzzi
we are like frogs oblivious to the water starting to boil.
No one flinches, we all float face down.
When she woke in the morning
she knew that her life had passed her by.
And she called out a warning, - "Draco, stop." "Don't ever let life pass you by."
"Draco, hmm? I think we're getting somewhere." I started trailing kisses down her jaw, but she pushed me back with all the strength she could muster, which was a lot.
"I told you to stop," she warned. "I don't think I will ever trust you enough to share the same bed with you without having to touch you. I need someone who knows commitment. I need someone who will be there when I wake up. I don't want someone who's going to screw me, go around bragging, and looking for another target." She eyed me carefully as if she were implying something.
"Listen, I know I've had my fair share of girlfriends, and yeah, I've kissed a few, but I never even came close to screwing any of them. I couldn't trust any of them."
"Then how come you want me so bad?"
Yes, Hermione Granger was very stubborn. "Because I see something in you. The same thing that's inside of me. I know you feel something too. I'll leave you to think." I walked out of the room without glancing back.
What the hell was I thinking? I had called her Hermione, and I tried to get her to sleep with me. I've never even given that subject much thought when it came to the girls I've dated. I don't know why I felt different about this girl. She was my enemy since I started Hogwarts, but she had been through almost the same things as me, and I felt I had a certain bond with her. It was an unspoken bond.
~
HERMIONE'S POV~
Did he actually expect me to sleep with him? I almost gave in too. He has been my worst enemy for five years. I can't even remotely think about liking him. Or can I? Harry, Ron, and Ginny wouldn't care; they hated me now. I didn't know what to do. I was very bamboozled about this whole situation. I did feel my heart beat much faster when I was around him, though.
I didn't eat anything that day. All I could do was sit on my bed and think about Draco. I had called him by his first name, without even meaning to and now he was going to expect that all the time. I didn't understand him, but the strange thing was, I wanted to. I, Hermione Granger, wanted to understand Draco Malfoy. I guess it was because I felt that the shit that went on in our lives, we had this bond. This unspoken bond.
~
DRACO'S POV~
It was the day before we had to leave for King's Cross Station. I hadn't really talked to Hermione that much. It was like she was avoiding me. She did have a good reason, I mean what I did was way out of line. She was right, it was like we had just met each other for the first time this summer. The only things we did talk about when we talked at all were school, studying, and occasionally her ex-friends. I felt guilty when I talked to her; I knew she didn't trust me. I had gained some trust for a few short hours, and I had blown it. Sometimes I really was an asshole. I didn't know if I liked her. My heart would skip a few beats every time I got too close to her or my eyes met hers.
I was sitting at my normal table, eating lunch when Hermione sat across from me. "How are we getting to King's Cross tomorrow?" she asked.
I didn't look up, but I could feel her eyes studying my face. "I booked two seats on the Knight Bus. It'll be here at 10 tomorrow morning. I told them to come early to make sure that we would be there in enough time."
"Alright." She got up to move to another table. Since that first morning, she had sat on the other side with her back facing me.
"You don't have to go," I said quietly.
"Excuse me?"
"You can sit with me if you want. There's not many other people I fancy speaking to. It's kinda lonely around here." I still did not look up. I was pretending to be interested in the piece of meat I was poking with my fork. Once again, I felt her eyeing me suspiciously.
"Are you sure that a lowly mudblood like myself is worthy to sit with such a high and mighty pureblood as you?"
Now I did look up. I found no trace of sarcasm in her voice; she was totally serious. I looked at her closely and mumbled, "You're not a mudblood."
"What?" My statement had managed to get her totally confused.
"You are a witch."