[A/N] Yah, everyone, we meet again. Okay, I can't believe it; 24 reviews for the first chapter!? Good lord. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed it... the plot is still buried in my mind, somewhere [ransacks her mind, searching for the plot] but yes, I have a faint idea what it's about. So...read on! ^^

[DISCLAIMER] The day that Saiyuki is mine is the day when Saiyuki is rated R.

Of Violet Twilight
#2 – Sole Reminiscence

By Gokugurl A.K.A Kimie

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The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.

-Oscar Wilde

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There was a clunking sound.

The familiar clunking sound that had haunted him for the past 10 years, the same sound that had echoed in his dreams for as long as he could remember.

'Sanzo...'

'What the? Who the hell's calling me?'

'Sanzo...'

'Who the hell are you?'

'When are you coming?'

'Shut the fuck up!'

'I'm waiting for you...'

'Uruse, kisama!' [Shut up, you!]

'Sanzo...'

There was the distant sound of metal against metal, once again, as someone shuffled over the barren ground, chains clunking as his youthful hands moved, reaching out to him.

Aishiteru. I'll wait for you...

'I asked you who the fuck are you!?'

Crying. Sobbing. Whimpering sounds that reached out to him, shook and broke his soul even as he heard those pathetic wails coming from whoever it was that was calling him. To whoever it was that was so desperate, so yearning for him.

Sanzo...

"What the..."

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We all dream; we do not understand our dreams, yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds, strange at least by comparison with the logical, purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake.

-Erich Fromm

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Deep amethyst flickered open, and the owner breathed heavily as he fisted one hand in his moonlit golden hair. Sanzo closed his eyes again, and his breathing eased as he collapsed against the soft silken coverlet that was his blanket. The drowsy blonde reached out for his Marlboros, before lighting one sole cigarette, and chucked the box to the other side of the room.

He leaned back against the wall, and took a puff from his cigarette. He was overcast by the dark shadows, and little illuminated the room if not for the dim starlight that was a bright contrast against the jet-black sky. He murmured something inaudible, shifted so that he could get a better position in his bed, and sighed.

The same, fucking dream that he had had for five times the whole week.

It was ironic, really. Every night, he would drift off to sleep, only to be awakened in the middle of the night by that clunking sound; the shuffling of chains against a barren, rocky prison, and by someone crying, calling out to him, calling his name again and again, desperate and longing. He had, after all, been having those same dreams for the past 10 years, but it had been several years since he had last had them.

Those dreams had stopped 6 or so years ago when he had found Goku.

Speaking about Goku... he cursed softly as his hand landed on a tangle of unruly chocolate hair, and the young adolescent murmured something incoherent as Sanzo quickly withdrew his hand from the silken russet hair that was Goku's. The dark-haired child sighed as Sanzo took away his hand, and Sanzo shook his head, a flicker of amusement alight in his violet eyes as he ruffled Goku's hair.

Bakasaru.

The kid was beautiful, yes, Sanzo knew. Beautiful, gorgeous, and dangerously attractive with his luminous golden eyes that reeked of unfathomable innocence; those radiant citrine orbs that shone of age beyond his years, the brilliant shades of brown and hazel that were his eyes, gleaming of the golden sunset beyond the horizon. Of course he knew that Goku was beautiful.

That was the first thought he had had of Goku when he had first stumbled upon the pathetic-looking child on Mt. Gogyo three or four years or so before. Innocent, beautiful, childish, beautiful, broken, beautiful, shocked, beautiful, attractive, beautiful, amazed, beautiful, stunned – did he mention beautiful?

He had came upon the golden-eyed adolescent in that scandalous rock prison; the cruel, barren bars that had imprisoned the child within, with magic interwoven outside so that Time would not penetrate its depths, thus leaving the child's age frozen in Time so that he had remained eternally twelve for the dull period of 500 years. To be honest, Sanzo couldn't imagine how life had been for the broken child, the shattered innocent who had supposedly been banished from Tenkai for a crime so horrendous that he had to deserve 500 years of imprisonment, without any trace of his memories or what he was back in Tenkai.

The real truth that lay in his releasing of Goku was not because he felt sympathy nor affection for the young, broken child of twelve in that cruel prison. It was just that – the moment he had set eyes on him, a surge of recognition had jolted through him like none had before.

During that fleeting second, that magical moment that he had locked eyes with the former Toushin Taishi of Heaven, he knew that there was something in those enigmatic golden eyes that he recognized, that he knew; as though he had known the child from a long time ago.

Oi, are you the one who has been calling me? He had said, back then, kneeling down to look at the adolescent, the child who had just stirred from his sleep. And then, Goku had sat up, dark, brown locks spilling over his youthful, beautiful face, concealing his eyes as he rubbed them sleepily, small – extremely kissable – lips parted as he yawned, slightly.

Before his eyes fluttered open, revealing the luminous shades of radiant golden.

And it was then that Sanzo had felt something in him; an indescribable feeling that he couldn't possibly express in words. The flash of golden - bright, beautiful, innocent golden – the familiar gleam of hazel citrine that he recognized, yet at the same time, didn't know of. The haunting glimmer of gold that had haunted his dreams with the rattling chains, the splendid shade of bronze.

He knew those eyes.

Those beautiful golden eyes. He had remembered loving them, cherishing them, ravishing them, gazing deep into them as he had caressed the child's cheek gently, lovingly, all the while drowning in those shades of luminous golden. And yet...

He didn't remember.

Sanzo sighed in melancholy, and moved closer to Goku's being as he stroked the adolescent's hair tenderly, and nuzzled his face into the child's strands of dark brown. He had feelings for the young boy of eighteen; deep, tender feelings. He knew he had. And he hated himself for it – for he, Genjo Sanzo, had vowed never to fall in love, to love someone, nor to love someone so deep that it hurt.

And yet, now – he, Genjo Sanzo, had broken all three vows.

But he didn't care.

He cared for Goku, he knew he did. Sanzo recalled the countless times where he had felt sadness, aching despondency and melancholy when Goku had been missing from the group, the depression and dejection, the misery and sorrow that had rocked his soul, the disappointment and guilt when Goku had been taken by Homura, all because of the fraudulent words, those spiteful insults he had thrown at the young child during one rainy night.

And the frustration, the irritation, the annoyance that he felt whenever Goku whined and wailed endlessly about his insatiable hunger and how his bottomless pit of a stomach was bothering him as it growled. The anger, the shaking fear and apprehension that he had felt when Goku had removed his limiter, transforming into Seiten Taisen – for he had been afraid that Goku wouldn't return; and the stabbing guilt and brokenness as he knew that Goku had did it for him, only him; for the sake of saving him, of curing Sanzo from the scorpion's poison.

I shouldn't be feeling anything for the bakasaru, but...

The bliss and rapturous euphoria that he had felt, but wouldn't express when Goku had returned to him, collapsing in his arms in exhaustion after being restored of the golden diadem, his tired, limp body in Sanzo's arms as what remained of his energy drained out after the hellish release and sealing of the Seiten Taisen; The uncountable happiness and untold joy when Goku had came back, returned even after Sanzo had thrown those hateful words on that one fateful night, after Homura had tortured him to no end.

What am I feeling now?

Bliss, cheerfulness, harassment, irritation, felicity, delight, gloom, somberness, euphoria, exhilaration, anger, rage, fear, apprehension, frustration, heartbroken, despondency, gaiety, glee, melancholy, dismal, regret, guilt, lament, dejection, jubilation, pleasure - those were all the emotions that Goku had created in him; all the feelings that Goku had stirred in him. But then, all those emotions could be summarized into one word:

Love.

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Did my heart love 'till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty until this night.

-William Shakespeare

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Goku awoke, a feeling of unease upon his being as his wild, enigmatic golden eyes, dull with discomfort, glanced blurrily around the dimly illuminated room that was his. He sighed, fluttering his eyes shut, clasping a hand to his throbbing forehead as he winced at the visible pain. For some reason, his head had been aching fervently ever since a few hours ago, but Goku couldn't remember why.

What had happened?

All he had remembered, dimly, was being lulled to sleep in someone's warm embrace. A tender, affectionate embrace, warm and gentle. An embrace that he remembered so well, knew so well; yet couldn't remember. But he knew, for one, that the one whom had rocked him quietly to sleep had been one that he remembered, one that he had recognized; yet at the same time, didn't know.

Soft, silken sun-kissed hair; long lustrous strands of woven gold that were draped down his left chest, the beautiful blonde hair that had shone like the sun. And those gentle, benign arms that had wrapped so protectively around his being, concealing him in tender warmth - they were so familiar, yet so distant. And the deep, dark pools of amethyst that were composed of the beautiful violet twilight of the sunset; the mysterious, unfathomable lavender eyes that he had grown to know, to love.


Who was he?

The yearning, longing look that was apparent in those violet eyes; they were hauntingly beautiful, yet eerily enigmatic. The icy, artic bitterness of them were what Goku had registered as Sanzo's; yet, they were different, in so many ways. Cold, quiet melancholy; deep, obscure eyes that were devoid of emotion, yet so full of them that it was immensely perplexing. But then – he knew those eyes. He knew that he had loved those eyes, once upon a time. The shadowy shades of violet twilight that were those amethyst orbs.

I know him...

But then, he had forgotten. Forgotten the one whom those haunting amethyst had belonged to. Forgotten the one, the oh so beautiful one whom he had once loved, the one whom had brought him true sunlight, the one who had been his sun.

However, the words, the fragile, beautiful words of promise still lingered in his mind; strong and clear, and Goku embraced the gentle memory quietly, relishing in the warm, tender feel of it.

I will come back for you.

And the faint remembrance of the golden-haired celestial, whom was slowly fading, disappearing slowly, silently from the depths of his adolescent mind; slipping away from what remained of his memory even as he tried to grasp the withering remembrance, and failed as it slowly began to dissipate, as Time began to weave threads of silken moments, reaching out Her gentle fingers to quietly touch that memory.

I can't come back to you, Goku.

"No," Goku whispered, struggling to hold on to that one memory, that gentle reminiscence, the sole recollection of his former lover; the one whom had been his one purpose for living. "Don't leave me."

Because, Goku, I'm already here. I have returned to you.

And Goku believed him; believed the soft, musical voice of his beloved as the golden-haired one whispered those sweet words into his mind. He did not recognize whose voice it was, who was the one who murmured those beautiful phrases, whom was the one whom had been his sun - but he reminisced, he remembered the love, the amorous passion that they had once shared; and Goku felt silken warmth embrace him, drowsiness enveloping him as he drifted wordlessly into siesta.

Goku let all that remained of his other memories leave him, but grasped tightly onto that one loving reminiscence as slumber overrode Goku. And even as he fell into the realms of rapturous sleep, he felt those gentle, silken arms embracing him again, and he could have sworn that he heard that one, beautiful voice speaking to him, the musical, heavenly voice, laced with love, murmuring gentle words in his mind.

I have returned...

Before everything else lapsed into darkness; all other memories forgotten – for Time had finally taken her toll, at last.

I have returned, Goku.

Goku, oblivious, drifted off to his siesta, even as Sanzo buried his blonde head in Goku's neck; nuzzling the soft, smooth skin that was Goku's. And Sanzo wrapped his leather-clad arms around his young being, drawing his close to him, and enveloped Goku in his warmth. Sanzo placed a gentle, tender kiss on the part where bronze neck met shoulder, and smiled silently as Goku sighed, a soft and innocent smile on his face.

I have returned.

To be Continued

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If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.

-Anonymous

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[A/N] Good lord, I almost cried. Oh well... [sniffles] y'know, I figure that I write better when I'm drunk. Helps that I just had two cans of Shandy ^^ Okay, okay, I know, I shouldn't be drinking on the night before school starts [curses] but then, heck – for inspiration, anything's worth it! Authors out there with writer's block; you should know what I mean.

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THANKS TO:

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Kamen: [yah, y'know who you are =P] I am now the PROUD OWNER OF 7 SAIYUKI POSTERS! AND THEY'RE ALL PERFECTLY INTACT! HOW DAAAAARE YOU CURSE ME IN YOUR REVIEW!? XD [Just kidding, just kidding] Hehe...I'm loaded, baby! Call me...

CTFA( Crissania

Goku-chan2002

Ewen: O.o The effect that my fic has on Homura lovers... [shudder] HEEYY!! WHERE'S DA SEQUEL!? [points finger accusingly at Ewen] Anyways, here's a nice big glomp for ya for being such a good pal! [glomp] ^______^

Jashuang: == The EEEEEEVILNESS that parents inflict upon us poor Saiyuki fangirls... [cries]

Saiyuki_gal

Kenren

aya-chan: More exciting? *sweatdrop*

Darklighter: Nope, never heard, never been.

Star-chan: O-o Wai man...where's YOUR next chapter of Letting you Go? HUUH!?

dref

Abelle: Aww! *hugs back* ^___^ Sank yuu na! Continue Seventh Heaven & Frivolous Lovers, onegai? [big, sparkly eyes *o*]

M-i

-karin-: Damn. *re-reads Chapter 2* Sanzo is already OOC. [cries] Gomen! Hehe, about the IC Sanzo in the first part, neh...did you know how HARD it was to keep him in IC? ;__; Oh well. Guess I ruined it. [mopes] But anyway, thanks! And I'm sorry if Sanzo is OOC... T_T

crazzzybanana: Uh-huh! ^_^ Thank you!

Didi

chris

Keitsu Han'ei: ^^;;;;; You're back...well...matteru'zo, ne?

gallatica: Aww...sank yuu!

Cylca: O-o;;;; Good lord, yes. ^^;; Ehehe...yah, I read the manga where he saw the moon...guess I forgot about it while writing the first part... *sweatdrop* And Hakkai and Gojyo? Um...guess they'll make a subtle appearance sooner or later...my mind nowadays is manifested with school and Sanzo and school rules and Goku...

venedy: Haha, its because Homura plays the part PERFECTLY! XD

'deru: Aaaah! Okaeri! ^^ You're back on the com, neh? Still can't believe this is your kouhai? :P Chapter three up already lorr...

Saiyuki-gal

Animegurl

~THANK YOU~

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Love,

Gokugurl

27th January 2003, 12.41 AM