CHAPTER 8~ Conflicting Thoughts
HERMIONE'S POV~
Draco walked me back to my common room once again. Before I went through the portrait I said, "Draco, I don't want our relationship to be based purely on sex. I don't mean to sound abrupt, but I really love you and I feel safe around you. I love what you do to me and how it feels, but sex isn't everything."
"I was just gunna say the same thing to you," he answered looking into my eyes. "I still want to meet you every night, but not for sex. I love you to and I believe that love is the basis to a strong relationship and not sex."
I smiled up at him. "Good. As long as we're on the same page. We should get some sleep, even though tomorrow is Saturday."
"Yeah, but the Prefects have a meeting at eleven to discuss the winter ball or something like that."
"Okay. I didn't know about that, and it's probably a good thing to know. Good night, Draco." He kissed me good night and then headed down the hall in the direction of his common room.
I walked into the common room expecting it to be empty, but I noticed a certain redhead and a black-haired boy sitting by the fire. I jumped at the sight of them and asked, "What the hell are you doing up? It's after two am!" So I'm a little hypocritical. What can I say?
"We could ask you the same question. Except at least we're in the common room not roaming around with a certain blonde haired Slytherin," Ron answered.
"How would you know what I was doing?" I said defiantly.
"The walls aren't sound-proof. You should know that, Hermione," Harry said.
"Y-You both heard w-w-what h-happened?" I stuttered not wanting to believe a word they said.
"We had our guesses before tonight, 'Mione," Ron said confidently. "This just confirms everything."
"I can't believe you would do this to us. I mean Draco Malfoy," Harry added. "He has been our enemy since our first year. How could you possibly betray us for him? He's a slimy, no-good, Slytherin Ferret!"
"Listen, we have a lot more in common than you knuckle-heads think. He knows what I'm going through; he understands how I feel, he goes through the same thing. Plus, he makes me happy and I feel safe when I'm around him. I love him."
They stared with their mouths agape. "How long have you been er-together?" Harry asked quietly.
"Since the day before we came back," I answered.
"That's like only four days!" Ron yelled. "And you've already slept together!"
"Quiet down," Harry warned him. "You'll wake up the whole house."
"Yes, Ron. You can count. It has been four days, and yes, we have slept together. We talked over the week I spent at the Leaky Cauldron and he's changed, toward me at least."
"Hermione, I'm not gunna make you change your mind," said Harry. "I'll support you no matter what decision you make. I don't like the idea of you and him, but if you're happy then I'm happy."
"You know what? You're both off your rockers!" Ron said harshly. "Hermione, this is the ferret who has made your life hell for five years! Harry, how can you possibly support this kind of behavior? I'm so pissed off at both of you right now. You can't possibly be serious. We are fucking talking about Draco Malfoy, the spoil brat of a ferret who thinks of himself only. I won't support this-"
"Shut up, Ron!" I yelled. He looked at me like I had more heads than Fluffy. "If you don't care about what I feel then get the hell outta here and don't talk to me! If you decide to do the mature thing, then you can stay and let my words penetrate your thick skull. For the second time tonight, I LOVE DRACO MALFOY!"
I heard a gasp from up on the balcony above the common room. Ginny, Seamus, and Dean were standing there with their mouths open. "You're not serious," Dean gasped.
"Tell me you did not just say that. Tell me my ears are failing me, please," Seamus added.
I looked down at the floor. "It is true."
"Hermione, how could you lie to me?" Ginny ran to her dorm and I heard her slam her door.
"You really fucked up bad this time, 'Mione," Ron muttered as he walked up the stairs. I watched him, Dean, and Seamus disappear into their dorm.
"Harry, what did I do?" I leaned over and clasped my head in my hands.
"You followed your heart, 'Mione. You did the right thing. I'll try to knock some sense into those guys. Don't worry about it," Harry reassured me.
I gave him a quick hug. "Thank you, Harry."
"It's nothing really." He flashed me a smile as I headed up to my dorm.
~
DRACO'S POV~
I practically skipped down to my common room. I was glad that she felt the same way I did. She made the world seem like a good place to live even at the darkest times. Hermione was the one person I could count on. I wish my mother could have met her without my father around; she would always act like he wanted her to in front of people because he wanted to keep the "Malfoy image." I walked into the common room and headed up the stairs when I heard a feminine voice say, "That's two late night rendezvous in two days, Draco. Who is the girl?" It was Blaise.
"Don't worry about it. It's my business, not yours."
"If I guess who it is, will you tell me?" she asked.
"Probably not. I don't want the whole school to know within days."
"Draco Malfoy, you know I don't tell anyone your secrets. Can you please tell me? You know I'll find out eventually," she begged me. If we were talking about me dating a different girl, a pureblood maybe, I would have laughed.
"Blaise, I can't tell you," I said quietly.
"Is she a pureblood?"
"Does that really matter? She's a witch and that's all that counts."
"So she's not a pureblood." It was a statement, not a question.
"I never said that. I simply said that she is a witch."
"It's Granger, isn't it?"
"How you guess?" I asked sitting across from her.
"I've been watching you lately. You seemed different when we came back; happier than usual. I watch where your eyes travel during classes and meals and they're always focused on the same girl. I saw you wink at her this morning too, but I pretended that I didn't notice. At first I thought my eyes were deceiving me, but yours were on her non-stop today-"
"Blaise, you can't tell anyone. Please? You know what my father would do to her. Right now, I am truly happy. For the first time in my pathetic life, I know what true happiness feels like. I am also very much in love with her. Please, you can't tell anyone." Now I was the one doing the begging.
"I won't, Draco. I promise."
"Thank you so much. You do not know how much this means to me."
"I think I do, Draco. I don't want to see you get hurt. This will stay with me until the day I die. I won't tell a soul."
"Thank you so much," I said again. I hugged her quickly and we headed up to our dorms to get some sleep.
The next morning, I got up and took a shower and headed down to the Great Hall with Blaise, Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle like always. I sat down at the Slytherin table and took to my daily routine of darting my eyes around in search of Hermione. Potthead was sitting by himself at one end of the table, and the Weasels were sitting at the other end talking with other Gryffindors. I got so nervous when I didn't see Hermione there. Thinking quickly, I excused my self and ran up to the Gryffindor Tower.
Just as I got there, Hermione walked out of the portrait and she looked very upset, but it didn't look like she had been crying. "Hermione?" I asked cautiously.
She looked up at me and smiled a sad smile. "Hey Draco."
"What's wrong, baby?"
"Harry, Ron, Ginny, Dean, and Seamus know about us. Harry and Ron were in the common room last night when we were talking and they heard everything we said. Ron got all pissed off at me and yelled, and then I yelled back saying that I love you and Ginny, Seamus, and Dean woke up and they got all pissed off at me. Harry is the only one who told me to follow my heart. He's the only one that trusts my decision."
I held her tight in my arms. "Blaise knows too," I said.
"You told her?"
"No. She figured it out on her own. Don't ask me how, but she did."
"Draco, this is bad. No one was ever supposed to find out about this. One of them is going to say something and the whole school is gunna know and someone's gunna contact your father and-"
"Hermione, don't worry about my father. I'll take care of him. You just hafta watch put for yourself, okay? I won't ever let him near you, all right?" She nodded her head slightly. "We still have an hour till that meeting. Let's go get some breakfast."
"Okay," she agreed.
~
HERMIONE'S POV~
He took my hand and walked me to the marble staircase near the Great Hall. "You go in first," he commanded me. "We don't want to make things worse than they already are." I kissed him quickly and walked down the stairs into the Great Hall.
"Hi Harry," I mumbled as I sat across from him.
"'Morning 'Mione."
I took some food and piled it onto my plate.
"What took you so long to get down here?" he asked.
"Well first of all, I tried to drown myself in the shower, but that didn't quite work. And then I just couldn't match one of my many pairs of black pairs of jeans to one of my many black shirts. You know how difficult that is," I said sarcastically. He cracked a grin, and then I whispered, "Then I walked out of the common room and Draco was standing there and I told him that you and the assholes know about us. He said that Blaise figured it out too."
"Is she gunna tell anyone? I mean is she like jealous or something. They did go out last year."
"Harry, they went out for four hours last year. Draco said she won't tell anyone, and I believe him."
"You really trust him, don't you?"
"No Harry. I'm only going out with him and I only tell him everything that goes on in my life, but I don't trust him at all, not one little bit." I was in one of my sarcastic moods that day, and Harry must have realized that because he shut up.
At a quarter to eleven, I headed toward the Prefects meeting room. I was pulled into a classroom along the way and pinned against the wall. Not knowing who it was, I screamed, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He silenced me with his lips, and it was then who I realized that it was Draco because he was the only person in the world who could kiss like that. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me.
We finally broke apart and he answered my question with, "Kissing you."
"You scared the shit outta me, you know that? My mind is so screwed up right now and I can't even think straight. I'm worried about everything."
"What's everything?"
"Us, for one. What happens if people find out about me and you? There are so many possibilities and I'm scared of every one. Then there's Ron, Ginny, Seamus, and Dean. They've all been my friends since I started here. I don't know where I'd be without them, and now I fall in love and just because they don't like the person I'm in love with, they turn their backs on me. It's like it hurts that they did this, but I don't need people like them in my life, right?"
"Right. Listen, like I said earlier, don't worry about us; I'll take care of it. I won't let anything come close to touching you. Your friends are assholes. If they can't see that you're happier now than you've ever been, then they are not worth your time or energy."
"What about your friends? What would they think if they found out?"
"I only have two real friends. You and Blaise, and you both know. I just converse with those other guys. They don't know the real me. I don't go to them with my problems 'cause they wouldn't understand."
I nodded. I knew what it was like to have no friends and have no one understand you. It was the worst feeling in the world.
"Come on," he said. "We should really get to that meeting."
"Yeah, I don't wanna be late for the first real meeting." He smirked at me and we kissed quickly.
I walked in front of him. He was about thirty paces behind me so that passing students wouldn't get suspicious. I was the first in the room and he came in a few seconds later.
"Since no one is here yet, can I kiss you?" he asked cautiously.
"Do you think I'd say no?"
He looked off and pretended to be thinking about his answer. I grabbed his neck and pulled him down to me. I kissed him passionately and he wrapped his arms around my waist and responded. After only a few seconds, there was a loud gasp from the door that was followed by an, "Oh my God!"
We turned around and saw-
HERMIONE'S POV~
Draco walked me back to my common room once again. Before I went through the portrait I said, "Draco, I don't want our relationship to be based purely on sex. I don't mean to sound abrupt, but I really love you and I feel safe around you. I love what you do to me and how it feels, but sex isn't everything."
"I was just gunna say the same thing to you," he answered looking into my eyes. "I still want to meet you every night, but not for sex. I love you to and I believe that love is the basis to a strong relationship and not sex."
I smiled up at him. "Good. As long as we're on the same page. We should get some sleep, even though tomorrow is Saturday."
"Yeah, but the Prefects have a meeting at eleven to discuss the winter ball or something like that."
"Okay. I didn't know about that, and it's probably a good thing to know. Good night, Draco." He kissed me good night and then headed down the hall in the direction of his common room.
I walked into the common room expecting it to be empty, but I noticed a certain redhead and a black-haired boy sitting by the fire. I jumped at the sight of them and asked, "What the hell are you doing up? It's after two am!" So I'm a little hypocritical. What can I say?
"We could ask you the same question. Except at least we're in the common room not roaming around with a certain blonde haired Slytherin," Ron answered.
"How would you know what I was doing?" I said defiantly.
"The walls aren't sound-proof. You should know that, Hermione," Harry said.
"Y-You both heard w-w-what h-happened?" I stuttered not wanting to believe a word they said.
"We had our guesses before tonight, 'Mione," Ron said confidently. "This just confirms everything."
"I can't believe you would do this to us. I mean Draco Malfoy," Harry added. "He has been our enemy since our first year. How could you possibly betray us for him? He's a slimy, no-good, Slytherin Ferret!"
"Listen, we have a lot more in common than you knuckle-heads think. He knows what I'm going through; he understands how I feel, he goes through the same thing. Plus, he makes me happy and I feel safe when I'm around him. I love him."
They stared with their mouths agape. "How long have you been er-together?" Harry asked quietly.
"Since the day before we came back," I answered.
"That's like only four days!" Ron yelled. "And you've already slept together!"
"Quiet down," Harry warned him. "You'll wake up the whole house."
"Yes, Ron. You can count. It has been four days, and yes, we have slept together. We talked over the week I spent at the Leaky Cauldron and he's changed, toward me at least."
"Hermione, I'm not gunna make you change your mind," said Harry. "I'll support you no matter what decision you make. I don't like the idea of you and him, but if you're happy then I'm happy."
"You know what? You're both off your rockers!" Ron said harshly. "Hermione, this is the ferret who has made your life hell for five years! Harry, how can you possibly support this kind of behavior? I'm so pissed off at both of you right now. You can't possibly be serious. We are fucking talking about Draco Malfoy, the spoil brat of a ferret who thinks of himself only. I won't support this-"
"Shut up, Ron!" I yelled. He looked at me like I had more heads than Fluffy. "If you don't care about what I feel then get the hell outta here and don't talk to me! If you decide to do the mature thing, then you can stay and let my words penetrate your thick skull. For the second time tonight, I LOVE DRACO MALFOY!"
I heard a gasp from up on the balcony above the common room. Ginny, Seamus, and Dean were standing there with their mouths open. "You're not serious," Dean gasped.
"Tell me you did not just say that. Tell me my ears are failing me, please," Seamus added.
I looked down at the floor. "It is true."
"Hermione, how could you lie to me?" Ginny ran to her dorm and I heard her slam her door.
"You really fucked up bad this time, 'Mione," Ron muttered as he walked up the stairs. I watched him, Dean, and Seamus disappear into their dorm.
"Harry, what did I do?" I leaned over and clasped my head in my hands.
"You followed your heart, 'Mione. You did the right thing. I'll try to knock some sense into those guys. Don't worry about it," Harry reassured me.
I gave him a quick hug. "Thank you, Harry."
"It's nothing really." He flashed me a smile as I headed up to my dorm.
~
DRACO'S POV~
I practically skipped down to my common room. I was glad that she felt the same way I did. She made the world seem like a good place to live even at the darkest times. Hermione was the one person I could count on. I wish my mother could have met her without my father around; she would always act like he wanted her to in front of people because he wanted to keep the "Malfoy image." I walked into the common room and headed up the stairs when I heard a feminine voice say, "That's two late night rendezvous in two days, Draco. Who is the girl?" It was Blaise.
"Don't worry about it. It's my business, not yours."
"If I guess who it is, will you tell me?" she asked.
"Probably not. I don't want the whole school to know within days."
"Draco Malfoy, you know I don't tell anyone your secrets. Can you please tell me? You know I'll find out eventually," she begged me. If we were talking about me dating a different girl, a pureblood maybe, I would have laughed.
"Blaise, I can't tell you," I said quietly.
"Is she a pureblood?"
"Does that really matter? She's a witch and that's all that counts."
"So she's not a pureblood." It was a statement, not a question.
"I never said that. I simply said that she is a witch."
"It's Granger, isn't it?"
"How you guess?" I asked sitting across from her.
"I've been watching you lately. You seemed different when we came back; happier than usual. I watch where your eyes travel during classes and meals and they're always focused on the same girl. I saw you wink at her this morning too, but I pretended that I didn't notice. At first I thought my eyes were deceiving me, but yours were on her non-stop today-"
"Blaise, you can't tell anyone. Please? You know what my father would do to her. Right now, I am truly happy. For the first time in my pathetic life, I know what true happiness feels like. I am also very much in love with her. Please, you can't tell anyone." Now I was the one doing the begging.
"I won't, Draco. I promise."
"Thank you so much. You do not know how much this means to me."
"I think I do, Draco. I don't want to see you get hurt. This will stay with me until the day I die. I won't tell a soul."
"Thank you so much," I said again. I hugged her quickly and we headed up to our dorms to get some sleep.
The next morning, I got up and took a shower and headed down to the Great Hall with Blaise, Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle like always. I sat down at the Slytherin table and took to my daily routine of darting my eyes around in search of Hermione. Potthead was sitting by himself at one end of the table, and the Weasels were sitting at the other end talking with other Gryffindors. I got so nervous when I didn't see Hermione there. Thinking quickly, I excused my self and ran up to the Gryffindor Tower.
Just as I got there, Hermione walked out of the portrait and she looked very upset, but it didn't look like she had been crying. "Hermione?" I asked cautiously.
She looked up at me and smiled a sad smile. "Hey Draco."
"What's wrong, baby?"
"Harry, Ron, Ginny, Dean, and Seamus know about us. Harry and Ron were in the common room last night when we were talking and they heard everything we said. Ron got all pissed off at me and yelled, and then I yelled back saying that I love you and Ginny, Seamus, and Dean woke up and they got all pissed off at me. Harry is the only one who told me to follow my heart. He's the only one that trusts my decision."
I held her tight in my arms. "Blaise knows too," I said.
"You told her?"
"No. She figured it out on her own. Don't ask me how, but she did."
"Draco, this is bad. No one was ever supposed to find out about this. One of them is going to say something and the whole school is gunna know and someone's gunna contact your father and-"
"Hermione, don't worry about my father. I'll take care of him. You just hafta watch put for yourself, okay? I won't ever let him near you, all right?" She nodded her head slightly. "We still have an hour till that meeting. Let's go get some breakfast."
"Okay," she agreed.
~
HERMIONE'S POV~
He took my hand and walked me to the marble staircase near the Great Hall. "You go in first," he commanded me. "We don't want to make things worse than they already are." I kissed him quickly and walked down the stairs into the Great Hall.
"Hi Harry," I mumbled as I sat across from him.
"'Morning 'Mione."
I took some food and piled it onto my plate.
"What took you so long to get down here?" he asked.
"Well first of all, I tried to drown myself in the shower, but that didn't quite work. And then I just couldn't match one of my many pairs of black pairs of jeans to one of my many black shirts. You know how difficult that is," I said sarcastically. He cracked a grin, and then I whispered, "Then I walked out of the common room and Draco was standing there and I told him that you and the assholes know about us. He said that Blaise figured it out too."
"Is she gunna tell anyone? I mean is she like jealous or something. They did go out last year."
"Harry, they went out for four hours last year. Draco said she won't tell anyone, and I believe him."
"You really trust him, don't you?"
"No Harry. I'm only going out with him and I only tell him everything that goes on in my life, but I don't trust him at all, not one little bit." I was in one of my sarcastic moods that day, and Harry must have realized that because he shut up.
At a quarter to eleven, I headed toward the Prefects meeting room. I was pulled into a classroom along the way and pinned against the wall. Not knowing who it was, I screamed, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He silenced me with his lips, and it was then who I realized that it was Draco because he was the only person in the world who could kiss like that. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me.
We finally broke apart and he answered my question with, "Kissing you."
"You scared the shit outta me, you know that? My mind is so screwed up right now and I can't even think straight. I'm worried about everything."
"What's everything?"
"Us, for one. What happens if people find out about me and you? There are so many possibilities and I'm scared of every one. Then there's Ron, Ginny, Seamus, and Dean. They've all been my friends since I started here. I don't know where I'd be without them, and now I fall in love and just because they don't like the person I'm in love with, they turn their backs on me. It's like it hurts that they did this, but I don't need people like them in my life, right?"
"Right. Listen, like I said earlier, don't worry about us; I'll take care of it. I won't let anything come close to touching you. Your friends are assholes. If they can't see that you're happier now than you've ever been, then they are not worth your time or energy."
"What about your friends? What would they think if they found out?"
"I only have two real friends. You and Blaise, and you both know. I just converse with those other guys. They don't know the real me. I don't go to them with my problems 'cause they wouldn't understand."
I nodded. I knew what it was like to have no friends and have no one understand you. It was the worst feeling in the world.
"Come on," he said. "We should really get to that meeting."
"Yeah, I don't wanna be late for the first real meeting." He smirked at me and we kissed quickly.
I walked in front of him. He was about thirty paces behind me so that passing students wouldn't get suspicious. I was the first in the room and he came in a few seconds later.
"Since no one is here yet, can I kiss you?" he asked cautiously.
"Do you think I'd say no?"
He looked off and pretended to be thinking about his answer. I grabbed his neck and pulled him down to me. I kissed him passionately and he wrapped his arms around my waist and responded. After only a few seconds, there was a loud gasp from the door that was followed by an, "Oh my God!"
We turned around and saw-