It had been nothing but selfish, and he had known that from the
instant Kim had come up to the bunks to talk to him. At the first mention
of how he had refused to give up the jaws -despite it not being his job-
and how he had not let anyone help him lift that section of roof... it had
all sunk in, and set something off inside of him. It was realisation, he
knew, and that realisation could quite possibly have saved someone's life.
His pride could have killed someone.
Jimmy Doherty shifted on his bed, eyes staring vacantly but pensively at the small television sat at the other side of the room. He sighed lightly, feeling the burn of slight pain from his healing gunshot wounds. It still hurt, even now, and he frowned at the potential reality that came upon him... what if he could never return to work?
Maybe the whole experience had him shaken up more than he had first thought. Maybe he had subconsciously sabotaged himself all day so that he didn't have to risk being shot again, or stabbed... or crushed, even burned alive. He was afraid.
The day's events played over and over in his head, from the moment where he had been noticed arriving, right up to when he had spoken with the new fire fighter outside. What was her name again? Alex something... Taylor, that was it. Alex Taylor.
People had joked about her all day behind her back when they didn't really know the whole story. They didn't really know anything about her at all. They were judging, and it wasn't fair.
No, what isn't fair is how you pushed yourself, he thought, suddenly remembering how he had almost crushed that kid's leg beneath the sledgehammer. He heard for a moment the agonised cry of the young boy as the slam of the tool had come down right beside his limb. He forced it down, trying not to think about it.
Why was he being so stubborn? He could have caused that kid some serious damage if he hadn't handed the hammer over. It was the same with the ceiling slab. If they hadn't pulled him out of the way, he might have dropped it and harmed someone. He had foolishly and unnecessarily put people at risk all day. People he cared about... he had put his friends and family at risk, and he had never done that before... never.
Brooke was right all along... so was Kim. They had both said he shouldn't have gone back early. He knew now it was stupid of him to try and prove something that didn't need proving.
Not exactly a good impression for Alex either. She had supposedly heard he was one of the best firemen around, and that that was part of the reason she had transferred to Camelot.
He didn't doubt that she was most probably reconsidering her actions now. Poor woman... moving into a stationhouse full of men. And the men at Camelot weren't the easiest to get to know... Jimmy knew that first hand. You had to earn their trust, work hard, and learn about them before they accepted you. You had to make a good impression on them, and vice versa.
Kim was basically one of the guys, and knew when they were teasing, but Alex had no idea. She had to try and figure it out. That wasn't going to be easy for her, considering how everyone already thought about her. They didn't seem willing to get to know her for who she really was. They had tried to be 'nice' all day, but had ended up just making her feel more and more like an outsider in the end. He had seen it outside when she had been tidying up the fire truck. She had looked out of place, lost.
Jimmy turned off the TV, and carefully slumped down in his bed, arms under his head as he stared at the ceiling, the events playing relentlessly over and over until he had to rub his eyes to try and clear his mind of the chaos and guilt.
Jimmy Doherty barely slept that night.
Jimmy Doherty shifted on his bed, eyes staring vacantly but pensively at the small television sat at the other side of the room. He sighed lightly, feeling the burn of slight pain from his healing gunshot wounds. It still hurt, even now, and he frowned at the potential reality that came upon him... what if he could never return to work?
Maybe the whole experience had him shaken up more than he had first thought. Maybe he had subconsciously sabotaged himself all day so that he didn't have to risk being shot again, or stabbed... or crushed, even burned alive. He was afraid.
The day's events played over and over in his head, from the moment where he had been noticed arriving, right up to when he had spoken with the new fire fighter outside. What was her name again? Alex something... Taylor, that was it. Alex Taylor.
People had joked about her all day behind her back when they didn't really know the whole story. They didn't really know anything about her at all. They were judging, and it wasn't fair.
No, what isn't fair is how you pushed yourself, he thought, suddenly remembering how he had almost crushed that kid's leg beneath the sledgehammer. He heard for a moment the agonised cry of the young boy as the slam of the tool had come down right beside his limb. He forced it down, trying not to think about it.
Why was he being so stubborn? He could have caused that kid some serious damage if he hadn't handed the hammer over. It was the same with the ceiling slab. If they hadn't pulled him out of the way, he might have dropped it and harmed someone. He had foolishly and unnecessarily put people at risk all day. People he cared about... he had put his friends and family at risk, and he had never done that before... never.
Brooke was right all along... so was Kim. They had both said he shouldn't have gone back early. He knew now it was stupid of him to try and prove something that didn't need proving.
Not exactly a good impression for Alex either. She had supposedly heard he was one of the best firemen around, and that that was part of the reason she had transferred to Camelot.
He didn't doubt that she was most probably reconsidering her actions now. Poor woman... moving into a stationhouse full of men. And the men at Camelot weren't the easiest to get to know... Jimmy knew that first hand. You had to earn their trust, work hard, and learn about them before they accepted you. You had to make a good impression on them, and vice versa.
Kim was basically one of the guys, and knew when they were teasing, but Alex had no idea. She had to try and figure it out. That wasn't going to be easy for her, considering how everyone already thought about her. They didn't seem willing to get to know her for who she really was. They had tried to be 'nice' all day, but had ended up just making her feel more and more like an outsider in the end. He had seen it outside when she had been tidying up the fire truck. She had looked out of place, lost.
Jimmy turned off the TV, and carefully slumped down in his bed, arms under his head as he stared at the ceiling, the events playing relentlessly over and over until he had to rub his eyes to try and clear his mind of the chaos and guilt.
Jimmy Doherty barely slept that night.