Serena sat on the floor of her room, looking down at her bandaged hand. It
was itchy beyond belief and she was gritting her teeth. Since the. incident
with the mirror, Luna was kind of scared of Serena, and had found a new
place to play in Sammy's room, which made Serena absolutely miserable. Not
even her cat would stick by her. She turned her music up.
Her father had met them at the hospital, and was angry at something. A social worker had questioned him and her mother, and she was sure they had said something about her needing counseling. She assumed that was what it was, by the way her father had yelled "Are you calling me a bad parent?!" while she was getting her hand stitched under the watchful eye of Darien. She shuddered as she remembered the intensity of his gaze.
Sammy had been fascinated. He hadn't really realized what was happening, other then Serena had clumsily punched a mirror and needed stitches. His mom and dad had told him, for some reason, that he couldn't tease her about it, which was bullshit for him. He said he wouldn't, seeing how important it was to them. But he was totally grossed out by the stitches, surprisingly. Serena laughed at him in the car, teasing him by moving her bandaged hand near him and to hear him make sounds of disgust at the sight of the stitches underneath the clear, sticky bandage. It especially grossed him out that her skin was orange, although she had told him it was just the stain from Iodine, an anti-bacterial spray the doctors used. He knew the truth. She was diseased, it wasn't hard to figure out.
She had demanded to leave as soon as her hand was done. She wanted to get out of the hospital as soon as possible. And get away from Darien.
She was angry at him. How dare he use such a vulnerable time to be so nice?! He had taken advantage of her frail state of mind with all those nice things he said. She would never tell him now, she knew that much. He would just do the Darien thing and push her back even farther if she told him. And she couldn't handle that. She wouldn't set herself up for another heartbreak again, she thought as she played with the bracelet the nurse had printed out and put on her wrist. I wont speak to him ever again. I'm to vulnerable when he's around.
So when he opened the door to her bedroom, she was taken by complete shock. "Darien?" She said.
"Hey," He said, closing the door behind him. "Your mom said you were in here, so-"
"How dare you come in here!" She said. Darien stood still. "You weren't even invited!"
Darien shrugged, blowing her off. "I thought you could use some company," he said. "Besides, nobody got anywhere by being alone."
Serena snorted. "You sound like my mom." She spun around on her butt and faced the other way, thrusting her chin in the air.
"Glad one of us does," Darien muttered. He walked over to her stereo and turned the loud music off.
"Hey!" She screeched, finally looking over at him. He was dressed in a black long sleeved shirt and cargo pants, with his nurses' slippers on. She snorted. "Nice shoes." It was only after she said that did she realize that meant he had never gone home. He had gone straight from the hospital to her house. She wondered if he had even eaten dinner.
"Thanks, they were free," He said. He walked over to her and effortlessly picked her up and sat her on her bed.
"What- hey! Put me down you asshole!" She said, punching him with her good hand. She watched him as he let her go and sat at the edge of her bed, perched on the ground, looking into her eyes.
"Spill." He said.
"NO!" She yelled back, scrambling to her feet. She walked over to her bedroom door and opened it, pointing out into the hallway.
"Ugh!" Darien said. "Serena, just fucking tell me! I'm not going anywhere!" he stood and walked over to her and closed the door shut.
"Yes, you are. You're leaving." She said back, not losing his gaze.
"No, I'm not, and you can't make me." He said back, smirking.
"Oh yeah?" She said, her face flushed. "MOM!"
"Serena-"
"MOM!" She yelled again.
"Who's shutting people out now?!" Darien yelled at her.
Ilene Tsukino ran up the stairs. "What's going on?" She said, looking at the two.
Darien stared into Serena's eyes as she looked at him. He had her trapped. She could either keep pushing him out like he did to her, or let him in and ruin her life.
Pride is SUCH a bitch, she thought.
"Nothing Mom, sorry," She mumbled, closing the door. She walked over to her bed and kicked it. "God damnit Darien!" She said.
He leaned against her doorframe, watching her. She was simply fascinating. Everything about her was an enigma, a puzzle within a puzzle. He had always worried about getting close to her in fear of corrupting her, but now it seemed as though she had already corrupted herself.
She turned to him. "You love this, don't you!" She hissed. He shrugged. "UGH! Your so arrogant!" She said, pulling at her hair. He nodded. "How do I know this, Darien?" She said, finding her mind again. She had lost it temporarily in the fury that infiltrated her entire body. She was so furious at him, she hadn't even noticed the throbbing in her hand. "No! I cant- I wont. I wont set myself up for another heartbreak, I can't handle this again."
Darien cocked his head, observing her. "Handle what?"
"How do I know that you're not going to push me away again?" She said, brushing her bangs off of her face. "How do I know that you're not going to get scared and just shove me out of your life?"
Darien stared at her, not blinking. "What can I do to show you that I'm not running away from you, Serena?" He said. "What do you want to know about me? How can I prove it to you?"
"Do you love me?" She challenged.
"Yes," He said, his voice no wavering.
She took a steadying breath. "Do you swear on your life that you wont leave me?" She said.
"I swear on my existence, on my parent's graves, that I will never abandon you." He said softly.
She sat in a huff on her bed. She placed her head in her hand and let out a deep breath. Darien swiftly walked over to her and sat on his knees, looking up at her. "Tell me, Serena," he said, his voice barely a whisper.
"He said he loved me too," she whispered. Darien pulled a lock of stray hair off of her face.
"Who did, Sere?"
"We met at this party," she continued. "Molly and I used to go to these parties up at the college, these frat guys and girls would throw these parties and Molly's older sister was in one of them, so we would always go. Rush parties."
Darien thought. "What's Molly's sisters name?" he said.
"Rikko," she said. She sighed. "And I met this guy there. I don't want to tell you his name, so don't make me," she said warningly. Darien nodded. She continued. "And we just.hit it off. He was such a gentlemen, he never pressured me to drink or anything. He didn't touch my ass or talk to my boobs like the other guys would. We just would dance and talk and he would cuddle me. And he used to come here a lot. And we would just hang out in my room. I just felt at ease with him."
"He kept telling me that he had never felt this way about anyone before. That there was something about me that just made him. ugh." she shook her head. "That made him want to be a better person."
Darien took her hand. He could tell this was hard on her. He just wanted to be there, not rush her, and not make her say anything she didn't want to. He stroked her hand.
"And one night we went to this party up at some frat house. He had ignored all the other girls there and was such a gentleman. He. he told me he wanted me to be his girlfriend, but that we couldn't tell anybody. He was 19 and I was 14." She looked into Darien's eyes, expecting some sort of condescending look. "I should have known then that he was no good, right? A 19 year old and a 14 year old?" she laughed bitterly. "But I genuinely thought he loved me. That age was just a number. That he really did love me through it all."
"That night he was driving me home and we drove to this spot near the observatory to look at the stars. It was really romantic, and he started kissing me." Serena flushed. "And we ended up in his backseat. and then one thing just led to another," she rushed.
Darien swallowed.
"We. hah, we 'dated' for two more months, when I realized I had skipped my period." She was so embarrassed. "I can't believe I'm telling you this," she said. Darien just looked up at her. She continued. "And he bought me a pregnancy test and. and I was pregnant."
She waited for the door to slam, but Darien just gripped her hand harder. "You're not walking away?" She whispered. He shook his head.
"Never."
A tear dripped down Serena's cheek. "I was so happy." She closed her eyes tight. "He told me that a baby would ruin our lives. That we couldn't support it, and that my parents would have him arrested. He said we would never be together again, and that he didn't want to lose me."
"So he took me to this clinic where they." Serena let out a sob. Darien reached up and grabbed her and held her in his arms tightly. She buried her head in his chest and cried. "He told me that I was going to be okay, and that he wouldn't leave me," she said. "So I had the abortion. I didn't want it, I wanted to have a baby," she sobbed. She pulled at his shirt, almost violently. "I wanted that baby so badly. He said he loved me, and I thought we could be a family," she said. Darien could barely understand her through her gasps and sobs and the emotion thick in her voice.
He rocked her back and forth, cooing in her ear and stroking her hair. He closed his eyes and could almost feel the hurricane of emotions going through her. She collapsed in his embraced and cried for all the times she told herself not to, to prove to herself she was strong. She was in total agony, and he could feel just a slight part of it in the way she was tugging at his shirt, gripping it for dear life, as if she was falling back into a hole of memories and he was the only thing that was keeping her from being lost forever.
"If I had wanted the baby bad enough I would have kept her," she wept. "I didn't love it enough." She whispered.
"Shhh, Serena, you were too young," He said. "You couldn't have taken care of a baby, its okay." He said, not really knowing if it was. In all honesty he didn't know what to say.
She continued. "He ran away from me. I could feel it. He wouldn't hug me anymore, and he wouldn't tell me he loved me. He stopped calling. And one day," she paused and cried some more. "He was in bed with her," she said bitterly. "That whore, he was sleeping with her the entire time," she said. She pounded Darien's chest again. "I should have known by the way she looked at him, and how he would look at her. He said they were 'just friends'. She was tall and blonde and elegant, and older, and sophisticated, and everything I'm not."
"Serena, I'm gonna be black and blue tomorrow," he said. She calmed down a bit and took a few deep breaths.
"I never heard from him after I caught them. He never offered me an explanation." She said. "I wasn't enough for him. Only now do I realize how fucking stupid I am. I just. I just try to shut it out and forget about it. pretend it didn't happen."
She sat up, erect, and looked at his face in horror. "You can't tell ANYONE Darien, please, you cant-"
"I wouldn't, Serena," he said, touching her face. "You have my word, I wont tell a soul."
Serena cuddled back into him. "So now you know," she said. She thought she would have felt better in telling him, but now she only felt worse. Her secret was out. It wasn't hers to control anymore.
Darien held her close to him, totally overwhelmed, but refused to show it. He would be strong for her. And he wouldn't be like that asshole who did her wrong. He would wring his neck if he only knew who he was. And that girl, too.
"Serena?" He said.
She looked up at him.
"What was the girls name?" He said carefully. He had this sickening feeling in his stomach, as though he already knew. Tall. Blonde. older.
Serena buried her face in his shoulder. "It doesn't matter," she said. "It's in the past."
"No, Serena, I'm not going to ask you any more questions, I just need to know her name. Its very important." He took her face in his hand and made her look at him. She looked at him with wide, red-rimmed eyes.
"It hurts me to talk about it, Darien, don't make me, please," she said, wiping her eyes with her hand. "She was out to get me, I know it. She would always look at me like I was trash."
"Please, Serena," He said, almost pleadingly. "Its really important to me," he kissed her forehead. "Please."
Serena took a deep breath and shuddered underneath him. "Ellie."
Her father had met them at the hospital, and was angry at something. A social worker had questioned him and her mother, and she was sure they had said something about her needing counseling. She assumed that was what it was, by the way her father had yelled "Are you calling me a bad parent?!" while she was getting her hand stitched under the watchful eye of Darien. She shuddered as she remembered the intensity of his gaze.
Sammy had been fascinated. He hadn't really realized what was happening, other then Serena had clumsily punched a mirror and needed stitches. His mom and dad had told him, for some reason, that he couldn't tease her about it, which was bullshit for him. He said he wouldn't, seeing how important it was to them. But he was totally grossed out by the stitches, surprisingly. Serena laughed at him in the car, teasing him by moving her bandaged hand near him and to hear him make sounds of disgust at the sight of the stitches underneath the clear, sticky bandage. It especially grossed him out that her skin was orange, although she had told him it was just the stain from Iodine, an anti-bacterial spray the doctors used. He knew the truth. She was diseased, it wasn't hard to figure out.
She had demanded to leave as soon as her hand was done. She wanted to get out of the hospital as soon as possible. And get away from Darien.
She was angry at him. How dare he use such a vulnerable time to be so nice?! He had taken advantage of her frail state of mind with all those nice things he said. She would never tell him now, she knew that much. He would just do the Darien thing and push her back even farther if she told him. And she couldn't handle that. She wouldn't set herself up for another heartbreak again, she thought as she played with the bracelet the nurse had printed out and put on her wrist. I wont speak to him ever again. I'm to vulnerable when he's around.
So when he opened the door to her bedroom, she was taken by complete shock. "Darien?" She said.
"Hey," He said, closing the door behind him. "Your mom said you were in here, so-"
"How dare you come in here!" She said. Darien stood still. "You weren't even invited!"
Darien shrugged, blowing her off. "I thought you could use some company," he said. "Besides, nobody got anywhere by being alone."
Serena snorted. "You sound like my mom." She spun around on her butt and faced the other way, thrusting her chin in the air.
"Glad one of us does," Darien muttered. He walked over to her stereo and turned the loud music off.
"Hey!" She screeched, finally looking over at him. He was dressed in a black long sleeved shirt and cargo pants, with his nurses' slippers on. She snorted. "Nice shoes." It was only after she said that did she realize that meant he had never gone home. He had gone straight from the hospital to her house. She wondered if he had even eaten dinner.
"Thanks, they were free," He said. He walked over to her and effortlessly picked her up and sat her on her bed.
"What- hey! Put me down you asshole!" She said, punching him with her good hand. She watched him as he let her go and sat at the edge of her bed, perched on the ground, looking into her eyes.
"Spill." He said.
"NO!" She yelled back, scrambling to her feet. She walked over to her bedroom door and opened it, pointing out into the hallway.
"Ugh!" Darien said. "Serena, just fucking tell me! I'm not going anywhere!" he stood and walked over to her and closed the door shut.
"Yes, you are. You're leaving." She said back, not losing his gaze.
"No, I'm not, and you can't make me." He said back, smirking.
"Oh yeah?" She said, her face flushed. "MOM!"
"Serena-"
"MOM!" She yelled again.
"Who's shutting people out now?!" Darien yelled at her.
Ilene Tsukino ran up the stairs. "What's going on?" She said, looking at the two.
Darien stared into Serena's eyes as she looked at him. He had her trapped. She could either keep pushing him out like he did to her, or let him in and ruin her life.
Pride is SUCH a bitch, she thought.
"Nothing Mom, sorry," She mumbled, closing the door. She walked over to her bed and kicked it. "God damnit Darien!" She said.
He leaned against her doorframe, watching her. She was simply fascinating. Everything about her was an enigma, a puzzle within a puzzle. He had always worried about getting close to her in fear of corrupting her, but now it seemed as though she had already corrupted herself.
She turned to him. "You love this, don't you!" She hissed. He shrugged. "UGH! Your so arrogant!" She said, pulling at her hair. He nodded. "How do I know this, Darien?" She said, finding her mind again. She had lost it temporarily in the fury that infiltrated her entire body. She was so furious at him, she hadn't even noticed the throbbing in her hand. "No! I cant- I wont. I wont set myself up for another heartbreak, I can't handle this again."
Darien cocked his head, observing her. "Handle what?"
"How do I know that you're not going to push me away again?" She said, brushing her bangs off of her face. "How do I know that you're not going to get scared and just shove me out of your life?"
Darien stared at her, not blinking. "What can I do to show you that I'm not running away from you, Serena?" He said. "What do you want to know about me? How can I prove it to you?"
"Do you love me?" She challenged.
"Yes," He said, his voice no wavering.
She took a steadying breath. "Do you swear on your life that you wont leave me?" She said.
"I swear on my existence, on my parent's graves, that I will never abandon you." He said softly.
She sat in a huff on her bed. She placed her head in her hand and let out a deep breath. Darien swiftly walked over to her and sat on his knees, looking up at her. "Tell me, Serena," he said, his voice barely a whisper.
"He said he loved me too," she whispered. Darien pulled a lock of stray hair off of her face.
"Who did, Sere?"
"We met at this party," she continued. "Molly and I used to go to these parties up at the college, these frat guys and girls would throw these parties and Molly's older sister was in one of them, so we would always go. Rush parties."
Darien thought. "What's Molly's sisters name?" he said.
"Rikko," she said. She sighed. "And I met this guy there. I don't want to tell you his name, so don't make me," she said warningly. Darien nodded. She continued. "And we just.hit it off. He was such a gentlemen, he never pressured me to drink or anything. He didn't touch my ass or talk to my boobs like the other guys would. We just would dance and talk and he would cuddle me. And he used to come here a lot. And we would just hang out in my room. I just felt at ease with him."
"He kept telling me that he had never felt this way about anyone before. That there was something about me that just made him. ugh." she shook her head. "That made him want to be a better person."
Darien took her hand. He could tell this was hard on her. He just wanted to be there, not rush her, and not make her say anything she didn't want to. He stroked her hand.
"And one night we went to this party up at some frat house. He had ignored all the other girls there and was such a gentleman. He. he told me he wanted me to be his girlfriend, but that we couldn't tell anybody. He was 19 and I was 14." She looked into Darien's eyes, expecting some sort of condescending look. "I should have known then that he was no good, right? A 19 year old and a 14 year old?" she laughed bitterly. "But I genuinely thought he loved me. That age was just a number. That he really did love me through it all."
"That night he was driving me home and we drove to this spot near the observatory to look at the stars. It was really romantic, and he started kissing me." Serena flushed. "And we ended up in his backseat. and then one thing just led to another," she rushed.
Darien swallowed.
"We. hah, we 'dated' for two more months, when I realized I had skipped my period." She was so embarrassed. "I can't believe I'm telling you this," she said. Darien just looked up at her. She continued. "And he bought me a pregnancy test and. and I was pregnant."
She waited for the door to slam, but Darien just gripped her hand harder. "You're not walking away?" She whispered. He shook his head.
"Never."
A tear dripped down Serena's cheek. "I was so happy." She closed her eyes tight. "He told me that a baby would ruin our lives. That we couldn't support it, and that my parents would have him arrested. He said we would never be together again, and that he didn't want to lose me."
"So he took me to this clinic where they." Serena let out a sob. Darien reached up and grabbed her and held her in his arms tightly. She buried her head in his chest and cried. "He told me that I was going to be okay, and that he wouldn't leave me," she said. "So I had the abortion. I didn't want it, I wanted to have a baby," she sobbed. She pulled at his shirt, almost violently. "I wanted that baby so badly. He said he loved me, and I thought we could be a family," she said. Darien could barely understand her through her gasps and sobs and the emotion thick in her voice.
He rocked her back and forth, cooing in her ear and stroking her hair. He closed his eyes and could almost feel the hurricane of emotions going through her. She collapsed in his embraced and cried for all the times she told herself not to, to prove to herself she was strong. She was in total agony, and he could feel just a slight part of it in the way she was tugging at his shirt, gripping it for dear life, as if she was falling back into a hole of memories and he was the only thing that was keeping her from being lost forever.
"If I had wanted the baby bad enough I would have kept her," she wept. "I didn't love it enough." She whispered.
"Shhh, Serena, you were too young," He said. "You couldn't have taken care of a baby, its okay." He said, not really knowing if it was. In all honesty he didn't know what to say.
She continued. "He ran away from me. I could feel it. He wouldn't hug me anymore, and he wouldn't tell me he loved me. He stopped calling. And one day," she paused and cried some more. "He was in bed with her," she said bitterly. "That whore, he was sleeping with her the entire time," she said. She pounded Darien's chest again. "I should have known by the way she looked at him, and how he would look at her. He said they were 'just friends'. She was tall and blonde and elegant, and older, and sophisticated, and everything I'm not."
"Serena, I'm gonna be black and blue tomorrow," he said. She calmed down a bit and took a few deep breaths.
"I never heard from him after I caught them. He never offered me an explanation." She said. "I wasn't enough for him. Only now do I realize how fucking stupid I am. I just. I just try to shut it out and forget about it. pretend it didn't happen."
She sat up, erect, and looked at his face in horror. "You can't tell ANYONE Darien, please, you cant-"
"I wouldn't, Serena," he said, touching her face. "You have my word, I wont tell a soul."
Serena cuddled back into him. "So now you know," she said. She thought she would have felt better in telling him, but now she only felt worse. Her secret was out. It wasn't hers to control anymore.
Darien held her close to him, totally overwhelmed, but refused to show it. He would be strong for her. And he wouldn't be like that asshole who did her wrong. He would wring his neck if he only knew who he was. And that girl, too.
"Serena?" He said.
She looked up at him.
"What was the girls name?" He said carefully. He had this sickening feeling in his stomach, as though he already knew. Tall. Blonde. older.
Serena buried her face in his shoulder. "It doesn't matter," she said. "It's in the past."
"No, Serena, I'm not going to ask you any more questions, I just need to know her name. Its very important." He took her face in his hand and made her look at him. She looked at him with wide, red-rimmed eyes.
"It hurts me to talk about it, Darien, don't make me, please," she said, wiping her eyes with her hand. "She was out to get me, I know it. She would always look at me like I was trash."
"Please, Serena," He said, almost pleadingly. "Its really important to me," he kissed her forehead. "Please."
Serena took a deep breath and shuddered underneath him. "Ellie."