AN: Yay!! I looked in my mailbox the day after I posted Chapter 7 and I was
soooo happy!! I got 5 reviews!! Snap!! There are people who have like, 120
reviews on their 4th chapter and think that 5 are like, blah, but that
totally made my day!! Thank you soo much!!!!
Serena woke up to Rei slapping her cheek gently. "Get up you tool! What's the matter with you? Wake up!"
Serena blinked and looked up at her. She knew Rei's way of handling fear was to mask it with anger. She wasn't quite sure why, but she understood it.
She propped up on her elbows and felt and instant pain in her forehead. She took in a sharp breath and went to touch her head with her hand, the loss of support from the elbow making her fall backwards and smacking the back of her head on her nightstand. "Ahh! Shit! Owwwwww." she moaned.
Rei took her arm and pulled her up, helping her onto her bed. It was only then did she notice the greenish yellow tint of her hand, and a few black stitches covered by some sticky, sheer bandage. "Yikes, what happened?" She winced.
Serena took her hand back. "Nothing, I closed the car door on my hand by accident," she lied. She was too ashamed to tell the truth.
Rei rolled her eyes and then fixed her purple gaze on her. "What happened? You just dropped straight down, are you okay?"
Serena closed her eyes. He was back. The ghost of her past she had longed to forget was back. She had known he had left from various people, and thought that by some chance he would stay there. He was studying to be a lawyer, and had gone to the States to intern at some prestigious law firms. She had assumed he would get a job there and would stay, but evidently she was wrong.
She groaned and looked down at her hands, surprised to find them shaking. Why did the thought of him have this effect on her? How could another person's worthless existence have such control over her?
Rei gazed down at her, genuine concern in her eyes. "Serena?"
She continued to stare at her shaking hands. Her head hurt.
Rei's hair fell in long tendrils over her shoulders, and she cocked her head at her obviously disturbed friend in a pensive expression. "There's something really wrong, isn't there?"
Serena lifted a shaking hand to her head, attempting to brush the bangs, now overgrown and falling just below her eyebrows, out of her face and behind her ears. She gave a shrilly laugh. "No! Of course not! I've just been sick for the past few days.and I guess I'm just not well still. Mono, or something."
Rei nodded, not believing her, but desperately wanting to. She bit her lip. "Well, then you should get some rest." She straightened and began to walk towards the door. She paused. "You can call me if you need something, okay? Anything. I'll be here."
Serena nodded, knowing that nobody could be there for her. She was all alone. block block block Darien stepped into his apartment, exhausted. He had been digging and planting and putting trees and shrubs in various lawns and parks all around Tokyo as soon as his morning classes had finished. He dripped with sweat as Madison marched in behind him and made his way right over to the couch for a nap.
Darien went straight into the bathroom, ignoring the flashing light on his answering machine, and the blinking of his caller ID saying Andrew had called him 4 times, and took a big fluffy towel from the closet. He turned the dial on the shower and peeled his clothes off as steam filled the room. He stepped into the shower, letting the hot water cleanse his body of not only the dirt and grime that stuck to him, but also the thoughts that plagued him. He relaxed and simply stood, facing the showerhead. He let out a sigh as he thought of how Serena was faring.
He was determined to make things okay for her. The thought of anyone deliberately hurting her was enough to make anyone who knew her absolutely crazy. She had him wrapped around her finger, he knew that much. But that didn't seem to bother him. He liked the idea, in fact.
She had been pregnant. She slept with another man. Those thoughts bothered him slightly, okay, a lot, but not as much as the fact that she was suffering. He was insanely jealous of whoever this scumbag was that had captured her poor pure heart when she was so young. The fact he was jealous made him want to vomit, but he couldn't deny it. If it had been him.
Oh jeez, he had thought about that all day. If only it had been him she had met first. He would have treated her like a goddess. And if she had gotten pregnant, he would marry her in a heartbeat. They would move in together, he could finish school and get a respectable job and be a good father and provider. he would provide the family for them that he never had.
He saddened at that thought, but quickly shoved it into the back of his mind.
A half hour had gone by before he stepped out of the shower and wiped his body off with the warm towel. He tousled his onyx hair and wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out of the bathroom, a cloud of steam trailing behind him.
He had stepped into the kitchen to grab a can of Coke from the refrigerator when his phone rang.
"Yeah?" He answered.
"Darien? Hi, its Rei," a pensive voice said into his ear.
He struggled for a moment to put the name to a face. Oh yea, he remembered. She was the one with the black hair. "Oh, hi, what's up?"
"Listen, I'm walking home from Serena's house, and I think that there is something seriously wrong with her," she said. He could hear the sounds of cars in the background. The static he heard also made him believe she was on a cell phone.
He leaned against the fridge and jumped back, the metal cold against his hot skin. "What do you mean?" He questioned.
Rei paused. "Well, I went to visit her, and she looked horrible," she said, concern evident in her voice. "And she was on the phone with her friend Molly and then she fainted-"
Darien jerked up. "She fainted?! Is she okay??"
"Yeah, I guess so, she just dropped there right in front of me!" She said. "Then I noticed her left hand was all messed up, like, bruised, and she had a couple of stitches. she said she closed it on a car door, but I don't believe her."
Darien nodded, not really aware that she couldn't see him. "Yeah. I knew about her hand, but. she fainted?"
"Did I stutter?" Rei snapped. "I'm really worried! She said she's been sick, so I left her, but I needed to call someone. I didn't want to call one of the girls because they would get all nutty about it, but I knew you'd be cool about it. you knew about the hand?"
Darien sighed. "Listen, I'll go check on her tonight, I have to do a few things first, but I'll let you know what's up, okay?"
Rei sighed. "Yeah, okay. Thanks." block block block Serena submerged her head under the water, her eyes closed tightly shut, her left hand raised uncomfortably in the air. She held her breath until she felt her lungs would burst, and then popped her head above the bubbly surface, gasping for air, opening and repeatedly blinking her eyes. She rested her head against the hard linoleum surface and sighed. She looked around and sat up straight, taking a white towel with little pink bunnies dancing in hula hoops decorated on it and stood, wiping her body off.
She had finally bathed, after 5 days of being gross and grungy looking. She was quite proud of herself. And she relaxed herself quite a bit, her heart had finally stopped feeling as though it would jump right out her chest like something from 'Aliens'.
She pulled on a pair of pajamas, a loose white tank top with flannel plaid pants, in purples and blues and lime greens. She sat on her bed, the big towel resting nicely on her head, keeping her long hair falling wetly on her nice dry body. It was far too long to dry, and it, for some reason, was always straight, no matter what she did to it. So she didn't worry about how it would look when she let it down.
Serena considered what her mother had said. About writing things down. Maybe she should try it. It couldn't hurt, of course, plus, she had to find something to distract herself with other then the constant 'what if' thoughts that were spinning around and around in her head.
She pulled out a pad of stationary and a glittery lilac pen and thought for a minute before putting the pen on the surface of the paper.
Everyday's the same, I feel them merge I try to separate Resist the urge But they tell me I'll be fine That it will all get better Just try to write it down Or put it in a letter
But the words won't play. Cuz there's no easy way to say Goodbye
Blue eyes stared back at the paper, her vision obscured by tears. Weren't poems supposed to heal?? Not hurt?? Nothing made sense anymore. She put the pen down and sighed, burying her head in her hands until the phone rang.
"Hello?" She said dully.
"Hey Serena, what's shakin'?" a deep voice said, smoothly and coolly.
Serena stared in front of her, her heart in her throat.her stomach. her knees. her feet.
"Serena?"
Serena blinked. "Yeah! Yeah, hi?" She said, shutting her eyes tight. This is a dream, this is a dream, she thought, trying to convince herself. A very bad dream.
"Hey Serena, its me, Vaughn, what's going on gorgeous?" He said.
"Um, uh, not much, your back already?" She said, biting her lip. It's a dream, it's a dream, it's a very bad dream.
She hadn't even noticed the knock on the door until it opened slowly, Darien, with very wet hair, came into the room.
She turned sharply to him. A VERY bad dream. Whatever color she had in her face drained out, joining her heart at her feet.
Darien looked at her, questionably. 'Who's on the phone?' he mouthed.
Serena just shook her head, her eyes wide. She slowly picked up the pen and wrote, below her poem, one single word.
Him.
"Already?" Vaughn laughed. "I've been gone for two years babe! What do you mean already? You didn't even call me."
Serena let out a forced laugh. "Well, ha, the phone works both ways ya know."
Darien walked furiously over and grabbed the phone.
"Aww, babe, don't tell me your still mad about-"
"Who the hell is this?" Darien said, his voice raised slightly, into the phone.
"Uh, who is THIS?" The deep and throaty voice said back to him.
"This is Serena's boyfriend," Darien said crisply.
Serena flushed. Her boyfriend?!
"This is Vaughn McDonough, a good friend of hers."
"Vaughn?" Darien croaked.
"Yes?"
"If you ever call here again, ever drive by here, ever utter Serena's name under your breath, I swear to god I will come after you, kill you many, many times, and make it look like an accident." He said softly before hanging up the phone.
Serena stared back at him, and he stared back at her.
"Vaughn?" he croaked. "Vaughn?!"
Serena blinked back tears. "I didn't want to tell you-"
"Andrew's stepbrother?!" Darien shouted.
Tears fell down Serena's face as she looked back at him with wide eyes. "Darien, Andrew doesn't know, he - Vaughn- wanted to keep it a secret-"
"Of course he did! Its practically rape, Serena!" He shouted again.
Serena flushed with anger. "This is why I don't want to tell anyone! Because I know I was an idiot and I made a mistake, and I have to deal with that from myself, and I don't want to have to hear it from other people, least of all you!"
Darien closed his eyes and ran his long fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said softly. He sat on the bed next to her and took the goofy towel off her head, letting her long hair cascade down her back. She sniffled as he wiped her tears away.
"I can't take you seriously with that thing on your head," he smiled, trying to lighten the mood.
She offered a weak smile before it crumbled. "I just can't get rid of him, no matter what I do," she said weakly, tears falling freely down her face.
Darien grabbed her and held her fiercely to him. "He's not calling again, I can tell you that much." He kissed her forehead lightly, rocking her back and forth. "I'll take care of you, Sere. I promise you that I will never leave you. I'll protect you from him. You're not alone in this. I promise you that."
Serena sighed. His words filled her with comfort, despite the fact that they were only words. Just the sound of his voice made her feel better.
Darien let her go and looked at her. "What are you gonna do?" He said.
Serena looked back at him and then looked out the window. "I don't know."
Darien raised and eyebrow. "You aren't going to go back to him, right?" He said fiercely.
Serena stared.
Darien stood. "Serena, you cant!" He said. "You should have hung up on him as soon as you heard his voice!! After what he did to you, you would even consider it? Serena, Gods almighty, think of what your considering!"
Serena stared ahead still. "I could never go back to him."
Darien stared at her, his gaze intense.
"Because I love you, and not him." She closed her eyes. "But I gave my heart to him. and I have everything else I had to him. and I guess. a part of me wants those gifts back. and maybe my heart thinks that if I go back with him, I'll get them back. but I guess not, because. I fell as though I haven't lost anything when I'm with you. That. I have everything and so much more. but as soon as you leave, I'm reminded of what I had with him. or at least what I thought I had." She said. She sighed.
"Molly called and said he was back. he had called her first, and she called me. As soon as she did I fainted. Rei was there, and she woke me back up. I didn't tell her anything."
Darien already knew all this, but stood in silence as he let her continue.
"I love him, and I hate him at the same time. I don't know. if I really love him, or if I love the idea of him loving me. and if he really did love me but was scared. but then I remember seeing him and Ellie together. and I don't know anymore. I don't know anything anymore. Ever since you came into my life, nothing does. Everything is a mess, and everything is so confusing. but at the same time, everything is so much clearer, because you make me see things I didn't see before. Like how bad he treated me. And how. how I should be treated."
She turned to him, and he took a sharp breath. She was so stunningly beautiful, her wet hair falling in tendrils around her, framing her entire body in gold. He eyes almost glowed in the moonlight that reflected from the window, and he entire body was wrapped in this golden glow from the one light that was alit on her nightstand.
"I love you, Darien." She said, one single solitary tear dripped down her face. "But I don't know if I can be with you, because I don't want to use you. I don't want to be with someone just so I don't have to deal with being lonely. But I can't bear the thought of living without you."
Darien, this time, felt a lump in his throat. "I love you too, Serena." He whispered. "And I don't think I could live without you either."
Serena closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Vaughn wont leave me alone," she admonished. "I don't know why he wants me back in his life, but I know he wont leave me alone. when he wants something, he doesn't give up." She smiled wryly, still staring out the window. "But as long as I have you, Darien, I wont need whatever he has to offer. Because I do have you. And your all I want."
Darien sat beside her, and she rested her head on his shoulder, as she wondered what was going to happen.
AN: If you notice in this chapter, Darien's answering machine and caller ID are saying he has messages from Andrew. Andrew was, obviously, calling to let him know Vaughn was home.
And also, the poem Serena writes is in fact a song by Natalie Imbruglia, called 'Goodbye'. I have no claim to it what-so-ever, same for the characters of Rei, Serena, Darien, Lita, Mina, Amy, Luna, or any of Naoko Takeuchi's magnificent characters. I also would like to say that the United States of America (my home Ü) is going through a very crucial time right now, and although war is not always the answer, we need to do our best to support the troops we have in the middle east and pray for a peaceful resolve in this fight against terrorism. And, to my friend Meghan Corcoran lost her father in on United Flight 175, and watched as the plane crashed into the second world trade tower in school, unaware that her father was on it, I dedicate this story to you, and her inner struggle to say good-bye. God Bless you Jay, we miss you.
~Tianna
Serena woke up to Rei slapping her cheek gently. "Get up you tool! What's the matter with you? Wake up!"
Serena blinked and looked up at her. She knew Rei's way of handling fear was to mask it with anger. She wasn't quite sure why, but she understood it.
She propped up on her elbows and felt and instant pain in her forehead. She took in a sharp breath and went to touch her head with her hand, the loss of support from the elbow making her fall backwards and smacking the back of her head on her nightstand. "Ahh! Shit! Owwwwww." she moaned.
Rei took her arm and pulled her up, helping her onto her bed. It was only then did she notice the greenish yellow tint of her hand, and a few black stitches covered by some sticky, sheer bandage. "Yikes, what happened?" She winced.
Serena took her hand back. "Nothing, I closed the car door on my hand by accident," she lied. She was too ashamed to tell the truth.
Rei rolled her eyes and then fixed her purple gaze on her. "What happened? You just dropped straight down, are you okay?"
Serena closed her eyes. He was back. The ghost of her past she had longed to forget was back. She had known he had left from various people, and thought that by some chance he would stay there. He was studying to be a lawyer, and had gone to the States to intern at some prestigious law firms. She had assumed he would get a job there and would stay, but evidently she was wrong.
She groaned and looked down at her hands, surprised to find them shaking. Why did the thought of him have this effect on her? How could another person's worthless existence have such control over her?
Rei gazed down at her, genuine concern in her eyes. "Serena?"
She continued to stare at her shaking hands. Her head hurt.
Rei's hair fell in long tendrils over her shoulders, and she cocked her head at her obviously disturbed friend in a pensive expression. "There's something really wrong, isn't there?"
Serena lifted a shaking hand to her head, attempting to brush the bangs, now overgrown and falling just below her eyebrows, out of her face and behind her ears. She gave a shrilly laugh. "No! Of course not! I've just been sick for the past few days.and I guess I'm just not well still. Mono, or something."
Rei nodded, not believing her, but desperately wanting to. She bit her lip. "Well, then you should get some rest." She straightened and began to walk towards the door. She paused. "You can call me if you need something, okay? Anything. I'll be here."
Serena nodded, knowing that nobody could be there for her. She was all alone. block block block Darien stepped into his apartment, exhausted. He had been digging and planting and putting trees and shrubs in various lawns and parks all around Tokyo as soon as his morning classes had finished. He dripped with sweat as Madison marched in behind him and made his way right over to the couch for a nap.
Darien went straight into the bathroom, ignoring the flashing light on his answering machine, and the blinking of his caller ID saying Andrew had called him 4 times, and took a big fluffy towel from the closet. He turned the dial on the shower and peeled his clothes off as steam filled the room. He stepped into the shower, letting the hot water cleanse his body of not only the dirt and grime that stuck to him, but also the thoughts that plagued him. He relaxed and simply stood, facing the showerhead. He let out a sigh as he thought of how Serena was faring.
He was determined to make things okay for her. The thought of anyone deliberately hurting her was enough to make anyone who knew her absolutely crazy. She had him wrapped around her finger, he knew that much. But that didn't seem to bother him. He liked the idea, in fact.
She had been pregnant. She slept with another man. Those thoughts bothered him slightly, okay, a lot, but not as much as the fact that she was suffering. He was insanely jealous of whoever this scumbag was that had captured her poor pure heart when she was so young. The fact he was jealous made him want to vomit, but he couldn't deny it. If it had been him.
Oh jeez, he had thought about that all day. If only it had been him she had met first. He would have treated her like a goddess. And if she had gotten pregnant, he would marry her in a heartbeat. They would move in together, he could finish school and get a respectable job and be a good father and provider. he would provide the family for them that he never had.
He saddened at that thought, but quickly shoved it into the back of his mind.
A half hour had gone by before he stepped out of the shower and wiped his body off with the warm towel. He tousled his onyx hair and wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out of the bathroom, a cloud of steam trailing behind him.
He had stepped into the kitchen to grab a can of Coke from the refrigerator when his phone rang.
"Yeah?" He answered.
"Darien? Hi, its Rei," a pensive voice said into his ear.
He struggled for a moment to put the name to a face. Oh yea, he remembered. She was the one with the black hair. "Oh, hi, what's up?"
"Listen, I'm walking home from Serena's house, and I think that there is something seriously wrong with her," she said. He could hear the sounds of cars in the background. The static he heard also made him believe she was on a cell phone.
He leaned against the fridge and jumped back, the metal cold against his hot skin. "What do you mean?" He questioned.
Rei paused. "Well, I went to visit her, and she looked horrible," she said, concern evident in her voice. "And she was on the phone with her friend Molly and then she fainted-"
Darien jerked up. "She fainted?! Is she okay??"
"Yeah, I guess so, she just dropped there right in front of me!" She said. "Then I noticed her left hand was all messed up, like, bruised, and she had a couple of stitches. she said she closed it on a car door, but I don't believe her."
Darien nodded, not really aware that she couldn't see him. "Yeah. I knew about her hand, but. she fainted?"
"Did I stutter?" Rei snapped. "I'm really worried! She said she's been sick, so I left her, but I needed to call someone. I didn't want to call one of the girls because they would get all nutty about it, but I knew you'd be cool about it. you knew about the hand?"
Darien sighed. "Listen, I'll go check on her tonight, I have to do a few things first, but I'll let you know what's up, okay?"
Rei sighed. "Yeah, okay. Thanks." block block block Serena submerged her head under the water, her eyes closed tightly shut, her left hand raised uncomfortably in the air. She held her breath until she felt her lungs would burst, and then popped her head above the bubbly surface, gasping for air, opening and repeatedly blinking her eyes. She rested her head against the hard linoleum surface and sighed. She looked around and sat up straight, taking a white towel with little pink bunnies dancing in hula hoops decorated on it and stood, wiping her body off.
She had finally bathed, after 5 days of being gross and grungy looking. She was quite proud of herself. And she relaxed herself quite a bit, her heart had finally stopped feeling as though it would jump right out her chest like something from 'Aliens'.
She pulled on a pair of pajamas, a loose white tank top with flannel plaid pants, in purples and blues and lime greens. She sat on her bed, the big towel resting nicely on her head, keeping her long hair falling wetly on her nice dry body. It was far too long to dry, and it, for some reason, was always straight, no matter what she did to it. So she didn't worry about how it would look when she let it down.
Serena considered what her mother had said. About writing things down. Maybe she should try it. It couldn't hurt, of course, plus, she had to find something to distract herself with other then the constant 'what if' thoughts that were spinning around and around in her head.
She pulled out a pad of stationary and a glittery lilac pen and thought for a minute before putting the pen on the surface of the paper.
Everyday's the same, I feel them merge I try to separate Resist the urge But they tell me I'll be fine That it will all get better Just try to write it down Or put it in a letter
But the words won't play. Cuz there's no easy way to say Goodbye
Blue eyes stared back at the paper, her vision obscured by tears. Weren't poems supposed to heal?? Not hurt?? Nothing made sense anymore. She put the pen down and sighed, burying her head in her hands until the phone rang.
"Hello?" She said dully.
"Hey Serena, what's shakin'?" a deep voice said, smoothly and coolly.
Serena stared in front of her, her heart in her throat.her stomach. her knees. her feet.
"Serena?"
Serena blinked. "Yeah! Yeah, hi?" She said, shutting her eyes tight. This is a dream, this is a dream, she thought, trying to convince herself. A very bad dream.
"Hey Serena, its me, Vaughn, what's going on gorgeous?" He said.
"Um, uh, not much, your back already?" She said, biting her lip. It's a dream, it's a dream, it's a very bad dream.
She hadn't even noticed the knock on the door until it opened slowly, Darien, with very wet hair, came into the room.
She turned sharply to him. A VERY bad dream. Whatever color she had in her face drained out, joining her heart at her feet.
Darien looked at her, questionably. 'Who's on the phone?' he mouthed.
Serena just shook her head, her eyes wide. She slowly picked up the pen and wrote, below her poem, one single word.
Him.
"Already?" Vaughn laughed. "I've been gone for two years babe! What do you mean already? You didn't even call me."
Serena let out a forced laugh. "Well, ha, the phone works both ways ya know."
Darien walked furiously over and grabbed the phone.
"Aww, babe, don't tell me your still mad about-"
"Who the hell is this?" Darien said, his voice raised slightly, into the phone.
"Uh, who is THIS?" The deep and throaty voice said back to him.
"This is Serena's boyfriend," Darien said crisply.
Serena flushed. Her boyfriend?!
"This is Vaughn McDonough, a good friend of hers."
"Vaughn?" Darien croaked.
"Yes?"
"If you ever call here again, ever drive by here, ever utter Serena's name under your breath, I swear to god I will come after you, kill you many, many times, and make it look like an accident." He said softly before hanging up the phone.
Serena stared back at him, and he stared back at her.
"Vaughn?" he croaked. "Vaughn?!"
Serena blinked back tears. "I didn't want to tell you-"
"Andrew's stepbrother?!" Darien shouted.
Tears fell down Serena's face as she looked back at him with wide eyes. "Darien, Andrew doesn't know, he - Vaughn- wanted to keep it a secret-"
"Of course he did! Its practically rape, Serena!" He shouted again.
Serena flushed with anger. "This is why I don't want to tell anyone! Because I know I was an idiot and I made a mistake, and I have to deal with that from myself, and I don't want to have to hear it from other people, least of all you!"
Darien closed his eyes and ran his long fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said softly. He sat on the bed next to her and took the goofy towel off her head, letting her long hair cascade down her back. She sniffled as he wiped her tears away.
"I can't take you seriously with that thing on your head," he smiled, trying to lighten the mood.
She offered a weak smile before it crumbled. "I just can't get rid of him, no matter what I do," she said weakly, tears falling freely down her face.
Darien grabbed her and held her fiercely to him. "He's not calling again, I can tell you that much." He kissed her forehead lightly, rocking her back and forth. "I'll take care of you, Sere. I promise you that I will never leave you. I'll protect you from him. You're not alone in this. I promise you that."
Serena sighed. His words filled her with comfort, despite the fact that they were only words. Just the sound of his voice made her feel better.
Darien let her go and looked at her. "What are you gonna do?" He said.
Serena looked back at him and then looked out the window. "I don't know."
Darien raised and eyebrow. "You aren't going to go back to him, right?" He said fiercely.
Serena stared.
Darien stood. "Serena, you cant!" He said. "You should have hung up on him as soon as you heard his voice!! After what he did to you, you would even consider it? Serena, Gods almighty, think of what your considering!"
Serena stared ahead still. "I could never go back to him."
Darien stared at her, his gaze intense.
"Because I love you, and not him." She closed her eyes. "But I gave my heart to him. and I have everything else I had to him. and I guess. a part of me wants those gifts back. and maybe my heart thinks that if I go back with him, I'll get them back. but I guess not, because. I fell as though I haven't lost anything when I'm with you. That. I have everything and so much more. but as soon as you leave, I'm reminded of what I had with him. or at least what I thought I had." She said. She sighed.
"Molly called and said he was back. he had called her first, and she called me. As soon as she did I fainted. Rei was there, and she woke me back up. I didn't tell her anything."
Darien already knew all this, but stood in silence as he let her continue.
"I love him, and I hate him at the same time. I don't know. if I really love him, or if I love the idea of him loving me. and if he really did love me but was scared. but then I remember seeing him and Ellie together. and I don't know anymore. I don't know anything anymore. Ever since you came into my life, nothing does. Everything is a mess, and everything is so confusing. but at the same time, everything is so much clearer, because you make me see things I didn't see before. Like how bad he treated me. And how. how I should be treated."
She turned to him, and he took a sharp breath. She was so stunningly beautiful, her wet hair falling in tendrils around her, framing her entire body in gold. He eyes almost glowed in the moonlight that reflected from the window, and he entire body was wrapped in this golden glow from the one light that was alit on her nightstand.
"I love you, Darien." She said, one single solitary tear dripped down her face. "But I don't know if I can be with you, because I don't want to use you. I don't want to be with someone just so I don't have to deal with being lonely. But I can't bear the thought of living without you."
Darien, this time, felt a lump in his throat. "I love you too, Serena." He whispered. "And I don't think I could live without you either."
Serena closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Vaughn wont leave me alone," she admonished. "I don't know why he wants me back in his life, but I know he wont leave me alone. when he wants something, he doesn't give up." She smiled wryly, still staring out the window. "But as long as I have you, Darien, I wont need whatever he has to offer. Because I do have you. And your all I want."
Darien sat beside her, and she rested her head on his shoulder, as she wondered what was going to happen.
AN: If you notice in this chapter, Darien's answering machine and caller ID are saying he has messages from Andrew. Andrew was, obviously, calling to let him know Vaughn was home.
And also, the poem Serena writes is in fact a song by Natalie Imbruglia, called 'Goodbye'. I have no claim to it what-so-ever, same for the characters of Rei, Serena, Darien, Lita, Mina, Amy, Luna, or any of Naoko Takeuchi's magnificent characters. I also would like to say that the United States of America (my home Ü) is going through a very crucial time right now, and although war is not always the answer, we need to do our best to support the troops we have in the middle east and pray for a peaceful resolve in this fight against terrorism. And, to my friend Meghan Corcoran lost her father in on United Flight 175, and watched as the plane crashed into the second world trade tower in school, unaware that her father was on it, I dedicate this story to you, and her inner struggle to say good-bye. God Bless you Jay, we miss you.
~Tianna