Author's Notes: Pretty much a sequel to the movie Hercules. It's a Ha/P fic (yes, another). I know there are much-betters out there, but it was just too much fun playing 'spot the myth' and having an enjoyable and silly story to write without worrying about anyone actually caring.
Yes, a lot of stuff is mixed up, interpreted, or just plain wrong. So was the movie and series. I'm well aware of the gross inaccuracies, so much so I like to call them 'artistic liberties' and take as many of them as possible.
Comment as much as you like, most of it's written already but nothing's ever concrete.
All recognizable characters are copyright Disney. All those who are not are mine, although I likely got them from somewhere among these stacks of books. Koura (legit spelling, by the way) is mine, and any resemblance to her previous incarnations is purely coincidental
Okay, that's done. On with the show.
The Wedding
Ah, Olympus, home of the gods. The divine domicile, the mount of might, the coronal court of cumulonimbus. And just about the last place in the whole of the universe Koura had ever wanted to see again.
But the invitation had said mandatory, in big expensive gold embossed letters, so what was an immortal to do? Mandatory meant mandatory on Mount Olympus.
Although, the spring maiden mused, it pretty much meant that everywhere. Except in Asgard, where mandatory meant 'come if you feel like sitting around and boasting about how big your helmet horns are'.
Koura hadn't much liked Asgard. Though the food had been good.
She sighed and urged the big horses onward, the wheels rattling through the wispy clouds that forever surrounded the rocky summit. She'd had to borrow a chariot from her current employer Serqet to be on time for the wedding (and spent a good amount of time talking her into a pair of horses to pull it, rather than a giant scorpion). It was a long drive over the Mediterranean, and she was hardly powerful enough to just make herself a-va-voom there.
Koura was more than a little confused of course—Zeus had made it pretty clear she wasn't to show her mug on Olympus again, ever. 'Underlined with a thunderbolt' ever. Maybe Hera had sent the invitation. She and Demeter had always been good friends. And there was the possibility, albeit small, that the gods had tempered somewhat during her absence.
Yeah, and Caledonian boars would fly.
The black horses snorted as they spotted the glowing pinnacle and speeded up when they caught the scent of hay and water. Koura reined them in as she crossed over the boundary between earth and heaven. She entered the parking area and looked around. There weren't a whole lot of chariots there yet.
"Good, must be early." Her small voice echoed among the huge cirrus columns and bounced off into space. She slowed the horses down and pulled up next to a bright green chariot decorated with vegetation and a wide, reinforced chariot filled with Speedy Pita wrappers. Demeter and Bacchus, of course. Koura sighed. A whole weekend with the parents. Lovely.
But since when had the gods had to drive their chariots to Olympus? Zeus must have heightened the security for some reason.
"Koura, baby!" cried a familiar voice. She looked up, startled out of her thoughts. She smiled lightly. Bumming around with Hermes for a while might be worth a longer visit. That was, if Zeus didn't toss her out on her head first.
Koura waved as the little blue god came looping down towards her. "Hermes, my man. How's it hanging?"
"Long and loose as always, babe." He whistled as he came to float beside her and winked. "You're looking good there, sweetheart. A sight for my sore eyes. Nice wheels you got there."
"Thanks. It's a rental." She patted the chariot. "And a welcome sight you are too, shorty." She let Hermes help her down onto the cloudy floor. "I was afraid Zeus or Ares might be waiting to tell me how much they haven't missed me."
"Ah, don't sweat it. They're both still sleeping off Hercules' bachelor party down below. Should be getting here soon enough."
"Why's Bacchus here then? He's always the last to leave."
"Cause of you, babe." His voice lost a little of it's jocularity. "They've missed you, ya know."
Koura unhitched the horses from the chariot. "I missed them too. But I sent letters every week."
"Hardly a substitute for the real deal." He stayed at shoulder level as she led the beasts to the stables. "So how's Egypt these days?"
"Hot and dry and seemingly forever in need of a good sweeping," She inwardly thanked him for changing the subject. "I liked Sukhavati better. Wish I could've stayed there."
"That's what you get for unauthorized tree pruning." He eyed her over his glasses. You know, you could always ask Zeu..."
Koura cut him off, having known what was coming. "I'm not going to ask for forgiveness. I'd rather wander the cosmos forever than pander to Zeus's pride." To say nothing of compromising her own. Koura was a weak excuse for a goddess and knew it. Pride was all she had these days. Other than a mop and bucket.
She settled the horses in adjoining stalls and locked them in.
"I know, babe, I know." Hermes sighed. "But you belong here with us on Olympus, not running around doing scut work for other pantheons. Dig?"
"It's not really my choice and you know that. Now c'mon, flyboy. We'd better go inside." Koura patted a horse and turned to go. "The sooner we get this weekend over with the better."
**
"The sooner we get this over with the better." whimpered Panic.
"Whaddya mean we?" cowered Pain. "It's your fault. You should tell him."
"You're the one who dropped the scroll," squeaked the little blue demon, running in nervous circles. "You made all the ink run."
"And you're the one who fished it out," Pain growled, trying to sort out the soggy mass. "If you'd just let it sink we could just lie about it."
"Lie about what?" said a poisonous voice.
Pain and Panic froze. They turned around just in time to see the fireball.
"Now that that's out of the way," Hades brushed his hands, "Let's see what we have here."
"It's a letter from Olympus," said one pile of ash helpfully.
"Olympus huh? And I was worried they'd forgotten about little ol' me." Hades lit up a finger and began to dry the scroll out.
Pain and Panic started to pull themselves into some semblance of their former selves. "Are you getting in trouble, boss?" asked Panic's mouth.
"Ah, you know how it is. Try to overthrow the king of the gods, usurp his kingdom, imprison him for all eternity. He's probably not feeling big ol' heaps of familial love right now." Hades began to read the blurry scroll. He finished it silently and then tossed it into the Styx in disgust, his flames flaring a little.
"Let's go boys." The lord of the dead growled. "We've got to find me a lawyer."
The imps bounced to their feet. "Yes sir!" Hades strode off towards the well of souls, the imps trailing. Panic leaned over to Pain. "What's a lawyer?"
"Aren't those all those guys we had to muzzle?"
**
"So I've been guarding the gates, keeping a watchful eye the last few months, ya know." Hermes snapped his fingers. "Big time soldier stuff. Zeus's orders, triple the security. Athena and Ares patrol the perimeter most days."
"And no one's seen Hades since he ran back off to the Underworld?" Koura was still trying to wrap her brain around the story Hermes had been telling her. No wonder Zeus had tightened security.
"Nope. Zeus sent me down there to give him a summons, but I had to give it to those two little squirts he calls minions."
"I'm surprised Thunderpants is talking to him at all. Zeus's always been more of the 'electrocute something until it begs for mercy and says it's sorry, and then turn them into a rock or cow' type."
They came to the main hall, but there was no one to be seen except a few snoozing eagles in one corner. A sense of relief flooded her. Some time to relax before Zeus got back. But as she started to walk around the main hall, she started to feel a little homesick. It had been almost a thousand years.
Koura shook it off and sighed. "I'm also amazed he didn't see it coming. Maybe we should appoint a god of common sense, or twenty-twenty vision."
"Huh?" Hermes frowned.
"What? You can't tell me you're surprised by all this." Koura took off her threadbare green cloak and put it onto a cloud chair that conveniently formed by her side.
"At the Titanic invasion from the bowels of the earth? Yeah, you could say it caught me a little off guard."
"Oh come on. I mean, in retrospect. The guy's been making noises like a volcano for all the centuries I can remember. He's always had it in for Zeus. Course, I never thought he'd be stupid enough to try anything." She stretched her arms over her head, working the kinks out of her back. "Hades was always and jerk and a half, but he wasn't ever a moron."
Hermes nodded. He hadn't gotten to talk about this with any of the other deities—Zeus had strictly forbidden the use of Hades' name on Mount Olympus.
"And the whole Hercules thing, whoo." She puffed her cheeks out a little in amazement. "That's some extensive planning ahead."
"You got that right babe. Wasn't any spur-of-moment-impulse evil overthrow."
"Yeah. He probably had it in his day planner. Seven, check on famine. Eight, have breakfast. Nine, rearrange the order of the cosmos. Ten, burn down the hairdresser's again." She thought, dredging up long forgotten memories. When was the last time she'd seen old Huff an' Puff? Probably the Bacchic festival right before she'd left Olympus for good. Nearly a millennia.
"I'd love to be alone with him. Just me, him and a fire hose." Koura balled her fists. He'd said her dress was all the fashion among the forty years' dead.
"Hey babe, I hear ya. But we gotta keep him in one piece, at least for a little while. We're having his trial right after the kiddo's wedding."
"What? Who's idea was that?" Koura asked, then rolled her eyes. "Never mind, Zeus's. He never could just sit back and enjoy himself when there's someone around who needed smiting." She listened to her voice echo throughout the empty palace. "That'll mean I'll have to stick around for it instead of shopping. Serqet asked me to drop by Column and Barrel tomorrow." They walked through a few more empty rooms. "Hey, I know the gods are busy recuperating from the bachelor's par-tay, but where are all the goddesses?"
"Probably helping Megara get ready for the big event. Aphrodite was helping her with her dress a few hours ago."
"A few hours with Aphrodite?" Koura shuddered. "Poor thing. Where is she?"
"Back in the west palace wing. Hey, you know, you should go meet her. You two would be peachy keen." Hermes grinned.
"Sure, why not? A mortal managed to snag herself the son of Zeus. I can dust off my respect and bring it out for that."
"Coolsville." Hermes saluted and then slowed down a little. "I've gotta be on guard duty when the big boys get back, babe. But don't be a stranger."
"I'll come and find you," Koura gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "Don't fall asleep out there."
Hermes took off through the cirrus rook so that she wouldn't see him blush. "Do I ever?" he called down.
"Do Gorgons have bad hair days?" Koura watched him go. She'd forgotten how much she'd missed him, and some of the others. Now she was beginning to wonder if apologizing to Thunderpants might be...
"No," she said aloud. "Not even if Ragnarok came tomorrow." She'd die before she'd give Zeus the satisfaction of seeing her crawl.
**
"So you see, I got this gig on Olympus and well, hey, not exactly my thing, ya know?" Hades had gotten the best lawyer out of the bunch. He'd had Pain and Panic dredge the well of souls—there wasn't any way he was going to face the other gods without a real bottom feeder on his side. Other than himself, of course. "The problem is, I get up there tomorrow, I shoot my mouth off a little and Mr. Smackdown lays it on me pretty hard, maybe even enough to knock me into the pit of Tartarus. But you, now, you know how these things work." Hades gave his most pleasant smile. The dead soul shivered and felt like it might be sick.
But a lawyer was a lawyer. "What's in it for me?" he asked shrewdly.
"What's in it for..." Hades began to spark. Pain and Panic both cringed behind a rock for fear of fallout. "Why you rotten little...I should throw you right---hey, you're not bad." He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "All right, you get me a light sentence, preferably something that doesn't involve an eternity of suffering any more than I do now, and I'll remember the favor when your parole comes up. How's that grab ya?"
The lawyer was silent for a moment, then nodded. "I agree to your terms."
"Hey, great. Wonderful. Shake on it and let's get moving." He grabbed the shade's hand and sealed the deal, then began to drag him towards the palace. "We've got a lot of lies to get straight."
Pain scratched his head as the two disappeared around a corner. "Nobody's parole ever comes up."
"Maybe we missed the memo," said Panic.
**
Meg hated weddings. Her own was no exception.
Not that she wasn't happy. She had never dreamed of being this happy. Tonight she would be wed to her true love, and she knew how few mortals, and even a few gods, ever got the chance to do the same. They and their family would be blessed and watched over by an entire pantheon of gods.
But eloping to Phrygia seemed like an awfully good idea right about now.
"Dresses, music, dancing, flowers," Meg rested her head in her hands. " I'm seeing caterers in my sleep. Tell me why I agreed to this again?"
"Tradition, dear." replied Demeter, a little sympathy in her voice. "And you can't go against tradition, not when it comes to a demigod's wedding."
"But this thing reads like Herodotus." Meg eyed the guest list. "Long, boring and full of people I don't know."
Demeter sighed. "You should have been at Zeus and Hera's wedding. It took four years just to get the invitations out."
Meg let out an exhausted chuckle. Demeter got up from the bank of clouds where she'd been sitting. "Here, I'll make you a cup of tea with some nice herbs in it. You'll feel born again."
"Thanks, Demeter." Meg began flipping through the scrolls in front of her. She wished she was Wonderboy for a moment; all the big lug had to do was show up on time.
At least Demeter had come to Olympus to help her. As the goddess of the harvest, Demeter's assistance with the celebratory dinner had been a literal godsend. They'd gotten the buffet line worked out in two hours. And the big, loud deity had managed to finally get rid of Aphrodite. As far as Meg was concerned she was sacrificing a sheep to her every week for the rest of her life.
Meg picked up a brush and began to comb out the complex swirls and knots the erstwhile goddess of love had worked into her hair. "I look like one of those awful poodles." She snagged a particularly nasty knot. "I think maybe just a few flowers up there will be fine. A narcissus or two. What do you think?"
"Oh, those are my little Persephone's favorites." Demeter handed her the small cup of liquid she'd pulled out of the air. "I can't wait for you to meet her. Hera was kind enough to invite her for me."
"Persephone?" Meg accepted the cup and took an experimental sip. It tasted like dried grass, but it was oddly refreshing
"My baby girl." Demeter's round face had become even rounder as she smiled. "Such a lovely dear. I put her in charge of flowers when she was just a young thing. She took to it so well." Demeter's smile faded a little. "Of course, she put those terrible thorns on her beautiful roses. I told her that wasn't proper, but she wouldn't listen. Said something about dichotomy and then went off and invented that vile foxglove. Claimed it would come in handy someday."
"She sounds... like an interesting type of gal. Why haven't I met her before?"
"Oh, that's a long story," Demeter waved her off with an air of embarrassment. "Boring too."
"It's not like I've got anything better to do." Meg sighed. "I don't exactly make a good wedding planner, do I?"
"You're doing just fine, love. As well as could be expected of you." Demeter patted Meg's hand gently with her own plump green one. "And soon it won't matter. You'll be one of the family, mortal or immortal."
A voice came from outside in the hallway, calling softly. "Hello? Is anyone here?"
"And there's one now!" Demeter squealed, startling Meg. "Persephone! Come give your mother a hug!"
The pretty young maiden had barely stepped into the room when the arms of her mother engulfed her. Meg watched with interest as the slimmer goddess's eyes bulged and she struggled for air. She had dark inky hair and a good-natured face.
"You know I love you, mother," gasped Koura. "But if you break my ribs I might have to do it from behind a restraining order."
"It's just been so long, sweetie." Demeter released her. "Come here and say hello to Megara. She's the one getting married."
"I would hope so. Bacchus would have a fit if he thought you were getting another husband." She looked over at Meg and smiled awkwardly. "Hello, Megara. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Same here." Meg returned the smile, but frowned inwardly. This couldn't be the daughter of Bacchus. She looked like Demeter, large green eyes and small mouth, but her whole bearing was of someone entirely different. She seemed shy and jumpy. And she had feathers in her black hair.
Demeter made a sound like an excited chipmunk. "I'm going to go get your stepdad! Oh, he'll be so happy to see you!" She bounded out of the room as quickly as she was able. That answers that, thought Meg.
"Ah, a mother's love." The young goddess said, sitting down on Demeter's cloudbank. "Does anything warm the heart more?" Koura's face was beautiful, Meg had to admit. But it was drawn, and lacked the confidence and glow of power that the other Olympian goddesses possessed. Though Demeter's departure had seemed to relax her a bit.
"Only their spicy tuna casseroles. Here," Meg picked up her hairbrush and handed it to Koura. "You've got feathers in your hair."
"Yeah, I was talking to Hermes on the way in. Thank you, Megara."
"It's Meg."
"Good, cause I'm Koura. Nice to meetch ya. If you call me Persephone I'm not responsible for my own actions." She handed back the brush, some of the tightness leaving her face.
"Pers...it was kind of clunky anyways."
"That pretty much sums up my feelings, only without the rage and deep-seated bitterness." She flashed Meg a rare genuine smile. "So this little piece of paper arrived that said you're marrying Olympus's golden boy."
"That's the plan." Meg rolled her eyes. "All aboard the love ferry for eternal happiness and bliss."
"Aww, I'm getting warm fuzzies already." Koura made a sappy face and put her hands behind her head. "We'll have to tell Aphrodite there's too much love in the room and she can't come."
"I know, don't remind me. I had to up my salt intake just to balance out the sugar."
"Now now, a wedding is a beautiful event and should be treated with..." Koura stopped, then sighed. "Well, actually I hate them. But I don't get many invites to Mount Olympus. No offense to you, hon."
Meg nodded. "Believe me, if I wasn't one of the leads I'd be out of here on the next chariot."
There was a bit of silence as they waited for Demeter. But finally Meg couldn't stand it any longer. She was just too curious about what she'd heard.
"So, ah, Koura. Bacchus isn't your r..."
"Real father?" Koura looked out the door Demeter had gone through. "Yes, lovely that she let that slip right away. Isn't she a peach?"
"It's a little obvious. You don't look like him at all."
"I used to. Her cooking...let's just say it doesn't exactly rest well on young hips." She held her hands out a foot on either side of her narrow waist.
Meg laughed lightly. "Say no more. I knew Bacchus didn't get that way on just wine."
The goddess chuckled. It was a pleasant but rusty sound. "Cuts and impressive figure, doesn't he?" She put her hands behind her head and looked up at the ceiling of sky. "He pretty much raised me, though. I get my manners and good nature from him." The goddess said it jokingly, but Meg saw a shadow pass across her face. "Anyways, long story short and to answer your awkwardly asked but nonetheless welcome question, my big bad daddy's Ares."
Meg's mouth dropped. "Ares? Ares and Demeter?"
"Holy Erebus, right? Hey," She shrugged. "Even gods get drunk. I'm not complaining. I owe my existence to a Spartan pony keg and the far left stall of the Aegean stables."
Meg grimaced. "Oh that's a lovely mental image."
"You're telling me. Remind me to tell you about my half-brother Arion sometime."
**
"You invited who?" Zeus thundered.
"Oh, come off it. She's a lovely girl. And I didn't invite her. I think Athena did," replied possibly the only other being in the cosmos who wouldn't be frightened of the gathering clouds around Zeus's head.
"Hera, I won't have...have that illegitimate viper sitting in at my son's wedding!" Zeus's head was killing him. The bachelor party had been quite good, and he'd managed to subdue the worst of his hangover. But this bit of news was bringing the shades of the drinks he'd had back to haunt him.
"It's been over nine hundred years, Zeus. And I think, considering recent events, that you'd be glad to have another goddess around." Hera took her ceremonial toga out of the white, wispy wardrobe.
"Don't you remember what she said to me? To you?" That little wretch! And here, right now, in his own palace.
"Exactly. What she said. And looking back, she was..." Hera hesitated on the word "right". Instead she just said finished, "...probably not entirely out of line."
"WHAT? HOW CA...ow," Zeus clutched at his head. "Oh, that's a bad vintage."
"Put your nice toga on, Zeus. The ceremony's in a few hours." Hera sighed. There was no rest for the wives of gods or men.
**
Meg was puzzled. She liked and appreciated Demeter, truly she did, but the harvest goddess wasn't exactly the brightest star in the sky. And Ares, well. She'd met rabid pit bulls with better dispositions. But both were important, well-respected deities with many worshippers.
The maiden though--she just didn't get a "goddess" vibe from the girl. No aura, no casual dropping of how many worshippers she had, no photo-tablets of her best temples.
This was, as Koura eventually explained when she was asked, was because she didn't have any.
"Not even strong enough to have an aura. You'd think, hey, mortal and immortal, that's it, only two things you can be. But there's lots of levels of godliness. Zeus, for example, would be at the top of the ladder."
"And you?"
"Me? I'm scared of heights. I fell off the roof of Demeter's temple when I was a kid. Speaking of Demeter, did she help you with the catering? She loves to do that." It didn't escape Meg's notice that the goddess had changed the subject. But she figured she'd asked enough questions for the day. Besides, Koura had some...interesting stories. It had taken her a while to get warmed up, but she spoke quickly and energetically, without her earlier nervousness.
Meg listened with fascination as Koura described some of the places she'd lived and worked. She gestured expansively as she described a stint in someplace called Chicunauhmictlan. "So I say to Mictlantecuhtli, that's my sombrero!"
Meg dissolved into a fit of laughter. "He didn't!"
"He did, I swear. He had a lot of nerve for a rotting skeleton." Koura rested her chin on her hand reflectively. "If I never eat another rattlesnake burger it'll be too soon."
"You know, I always thought the world was flat."
"It is. Unless you know it isn't." Koura tapped the side of her nose. "It's all in knowing the right travel agent."
"I talked Hercules into traveling a little for our honeymoon." Megara pulled a few brochures from underneath the pile of clothing. "I haven't really seen very much of the world. Not enough for my taste, anyways. We're leaving right after the party tonight."
"Oo, gimme." Koura looked at them with interest. "I love travel brochures. Check it out, 'Persia: We Promise We're Peaceful'. Yeah, and I've got the peaceful chariot tracks up my backside to prove it."
"I was thinking maybe Pylos. You ever been?"
"Once when I was kid. The beaches are nice, or at least they were way back then." Koura looked at the tiny sundial on her wrist. "You know, it's getting to be that time."
"What? Oh, Zeus." Meg began to panic, "It's not till four!"
"And it's two now. We must have lost track of..."
Demeter barreled into the room, making the point. "Meg! I'm so sorry! Zeus and the boys had such headaches, and I ended up making tea for all of them, and then they wanted cold presses, and oh! Persephone! You haven't even gotten dressed yet!"
"This is what I'm wearing." Koura looked down at her dark green dress. It had a little thorn-and-rose motif along the bottom. It was the nicest thing she had.
"Nonsense. That style is at least forty years behind. And it's all ragged and worn out." Demeter would have rolled up her sleeves, had she been wearing any. "Meg, get into your dress. We'll do your hair with Persephone's flowers. Then," Demeter eyed her daughter. "We're going to take care of you, my ray of sunshine."
**
Well, at least it was over. And it had gone off fairly well, considering all the last minute arrivals. That was a problem with these big gatherings, thought Koura, chewing on a little muttonfurter from the buffet. Everyone tried to one up each other for the biggest, most dramatic entrance. You'd have thought someone would've have put a stop to it years ago after Poseidon's tsunami transport had temporarily turned Olympus into an island. But no. Style over common sense, as always.
And speaking of style...
"You look like a pink nightmare in that dress, babe. Wanna dance?" Hermes floated into Koura's field of vision.
"Leave me alone. I haven't had nearly enough to drink." She knocked back a cup of nectar and swallowed hard. Hermes groaned inwardly. Koura had been skulking by the buffet table most of the night, looking increasingly more miserable.
Hermes flipped himself upside down in an attempt to make her smile. She just glared at him. He took a flap backwards out of reach. "Suit yourself. But it's your favorite song."
Koura listened for a moment. "The Grecian Grind is most definitely not my favorite song."
"C'mon sweetness. I'll help you break the ice."
"You noticed the cold shoulders too? Good, I thought I was being oversensitive when Poseidon asked why anyone hadn't cut out my tongue yet."
"They're just a little high strung, you know, the trial tomorrow an all."
"And I've got to sit in on that too! Mother's insisting." Koura sighed. "Apparently some new hotshot sea god is going to be there and I'm supposed to make eyes at him during the boring parts."
"Hey, look on the bright side. There might not be any boring parts."
"True," Koura's face lost a little of it's gloom. "You know if we're allowed to throw anything at Mr. The Pit Of Eternal Misery Isn't Good Enough For Moi?"
"Zeus'll probably toss a few bolts. I can't see him resisting the impulse."
"I hope so. I can't stand being bored."
"Beautiful, charming conversationalist, and a fan of the fights," Hermes took her arm and began leading her to the dance floor. "What doesn't she have?"
She dragged her feet. "Oh, I don't know. A job, a home, any sort of respect..."
"You could always apolo..."
"No. Now don't step on my toes."
Hermes sandals came to about her belt. "No problem, my pink vision of fluffy loveli...ow, ow not the thumb, I need that."
She loosed her grip. "Patronizer."
Across the room Zeus watched Koura and Hermes. "Can you believe it? Prancing around like a satyr, in my house."
"It looks like dancing to me, Dad." Hercules had been shooed away by Meg as his new wife went to gossip with the Graces and one of the Muses. But she'd mentioned Demeter's daughter as someone worth putting down on their dinner party list. Whatever that was.
He'd been surprised to find out she was an exile when he'd brought her up in front of his father. In fact, his father had much to say on her, which landed him right where he was at the moment.
"You know, you, eh, haven't really told me what's so bad about that goddess. You've just been looking really scary all night, and she's been looking depressed." Hercules fidgeted.
"One, she's not a real goddess, son. She doesn't have a purpose. Utterly and completely useless. She's just a common spring maiden. Nearly as weak as a mortal, and no better than a nymph as far as I'm concerned. Two," Zeus gritted his teeth. "She questioned my decision on a certain personal matter, and when I tried to be reasonable about it, she insults me, my wife, and the entire Pantheon."
"Wow," Hercules looked twice at the godde...spring maiden. She was taller than Meg, but slight and sort of tired looking. Hardly the type to stand up to the god of gods. Although maybe at one time, she had been. "What'd she say?"
"That I was," Zeus gritted his teeth, "I was a..."
"A thoughtless philanderer...and that Hera was a jealous, vindictive witch." boomed Ares, joining the conversation. "Although the language might have been a bit stronger." A few of the other gods looked their way as his words carried over the din of the central hall. The red god of war continued, heedless. "Then she called me a bloodthirsty fool, and a few choice other things, and Athena a know-it-all, and Poseidon a pickle, and Hades a..."
Hercules interrupted. "A pickle?"
"Must have been some sort of salt water insult. She was running out of steam by then. But she went on, called us 'detached and unfeeling tyrannical twits'. She always did have a flair for the dramatic. Gets it from her mother, I suppose."
"Jeez. What started it all?"
"You know," Ares frowned. "I never was really clear on the beef with you, Zeus. I know why she hates me, but she never paid you much attention before then. Never really paid attention to any of us." He put his arm around Hercules' shoulders. "Put her out of your mind, boy. She's a silly, brainless girl."
Hercules slid away from the war god, and turned to his father again. "Dad, what did you do?"
"Oh. Nothing really..." Zeus abruptly seemed to run out steam himself.
"Dad?" Hercules suddenly got an inkling. "This wouldn't be one of those Prometheus sort of decisions, would it?"
"What? No! Of course not. She disrespected her elders in an outright display of rebellion. Wanting me to undo what I'd already done. Nonsense! I had to nip it in the bud, my boy. You can't let people get away with things. You've seen yourself what that can lead to." He brought his fist down on his palm, nearly spilling his drink. "Trouble, and more trouble. Before you know it you're up to your neck in hot lava with hail in your eyes." Zeus took a gulp of nectar and wiped his brow. "I exiled her, right there and then. Wandering the earth for a few thousand years should break that nerve of hers." He sniggered a little. "I heard she's been washing dishes and sweeping floors to stay in ambrosia and keep."
"All right," Hercules refused to be swayed by his fathers' digression. He'd heard it before. "Just tell me one thing. How'd it start?"
"That little...nymph wannabe..." Zeus growled, "Was friends with this silly mortal princess, name of...oh what was it? Io something."
"Io?" Hercules frowned. "Wasn't that the princess that was turned into a cow?"
"You've heard the story?" The thunder god was startled.
"Yeah, I heard it at ProAc. Some god wouldn't leave her alone, and then transformed her to hide her from his jealous..." Hercules' jaw dropped as the light bulb came on. "It was you, wasn't it?"
"Now son, everyone's allowed their youthful indiscretions." Zeus had gone from looking surprised to downright nervous.
"Io wandered the earth for years being tortured! She went mad!" Hercules couldn't believe his ears.
"I turned her back, my boy. Eventually. No harm done. And besides," Zeus drew himself up. "The principle of the thing remains the same. The brat insulted her superiors, all for the friendship of a mortal, and had to be reprimanded. Certain gods have done worse," he added darkly. "But she's a nothing, a nobody. Never was, never will be."
"Although," Ares interrupted. "Athena is a know it all."
"I'm going to go talk to her," Hercules shook his head. "Dad, I really wonder sometimes."
"Hercules, don't..." Zeus watched his boy go, then groaned. "That didn't exactly turn out as I wanted it to."
"Kids never do," Ares slapped him on the back. "Here, have one of these little muttonfurters. They're almost better than beheading your enemy."
Zeus grunted. That spoiled girl, turning his own son on him. As soon as the weekend's over it's back to being a maid for whatever pantheon feels sorry for you this month, thought Zeus. He'd kick her out this instant if Hera hadn't been so doggedly concerned for the worthless girl.
He'd been surprised at how worn out she'd looked though. The other pantheons couldn't be that rough. Zeus felt the tiniest twinge of guilt; fortunately, he washed it down with another swallow of nectar. Ah, the drink of the gods.
Back on the dance floor, Hermes swung Koura
around like a sling, almost hitting Hephaestus and Aphrodite.
"Watch it with the Delian
dips," Koura pulled the little god back. "You're going to hurt someone. Namely
myself." She could feel herself starting to get sick. Those little furters
weren't sitting well in her stomach at all.
"Hey babe, I'm smooth as silk."
"Excuse me," said a voice.
Koura spotted Hercules over the blue gods' shoulder. The young groom grinned awkwardly. "Mind if I cut in?"
"Sure, no problem." She pushed Hermes at him. "Have fun, you two." Koura turned away and began to walk towards the hallway that led to the private rooms. Oh, stomach trouble. Could you get food poisoning from ambrosia?
"No, wait!" A hand caught her arm.
Koura turned around, temper gone and ready to bite. "Look, I've had a long night, a terrible time, and I think I'm seeing a hangover in my future. So if you don't mind..."
"I wanted to apologize," Hercules said quickly. Koura stopped and looked at him, blinking. Then she laughed.
"Excuse me? Did I just here the word 'apologize' from the son of Zeus?"
"Son of Zeus. Not Zeus." Hercules let go of her arm. "My father can be stubborn...to, uh, say the least." He put one hand behind his head and looked downwards, his words coming so fast it was like one sentence. "But I wanted to let you know you shouldn't have been punished for what you said, no matter who you are, and you shouldn't be ashamed or made unhappy for doing what you thought was right for your friend, and I'll talk to my dad for you I'm sure he can give forgive and forget so you can stay instead of leaving." Hercules inhaled. He really needed to start putting periods in his dramatic speeches.
Koura paused, then let down her guard a little. No one had had the guts to speak against Zeus directly to her, not even Hermes. Herc was a sap, to be sure, but the attempt made her feel better. Not much, but a little. "Thank you. No one's ever told me that. It's nice to hear." Hercules grinned, but his smiled faded as Koura continued.
"But like you said. You're not Zeus. You're not responsible or accountable for his actions. I appreciate you talking to me, I really do." Koura put a hand to her head, massaging at her burgeoning headache. "But he did what he did, and continues to, and there's nothing you can do about it. You shouldn't try to clean up your dad's messes. Believe me," she laughed bitterly. "It'll drive you nuts. I know."
"Still, maybe I can..." Hercules began.
"Just say hi to Meg for me." Koura didn't let him finish. "She's a great gal and I wish you the best. Now I'm off to sleep so I'm actually conscious for tomorrow, although it would be nicer not to be. You two have the best honeymoon under the aether, okay?"
"Okay." Hercules watched the goddess go. He felt helpless. Hercules hated feeling helpless.
He'd have to talk to Mom.