A/N: Look, longer chapters! See...I knew they'd be longer eventually. Thanks to Dani who always inspires me and puts up with my Buffy Brain.

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Buffy scanned the busy cafeteria for her friends with no luck. Even Cordelia was missing from her customary place at the head of the Popular table.

"Hey Buff," Willow said, stepping beside her.

"Willow! Thank God. I was about to have to go and do that awkward sit-by-myself thing. I hate that thing."

"What about Xander? Where is he?"

"Maybe the real question is where is Cordelia?" Buffy said nodding towards the leaderless group of Cordettes.

"Oh," Willow said, her face falling. "Stupid question." They sat down at a table by the windows.

"It bothers you," Buffy said opening her soda and fixing her best friend with a tell-all look. It wasn't a question.

"No," Willow said putting on her resolve face. "If he wants to make out with Cordelia Chase -- a girl who has made our lives Hell since Junior High, mind you -- then I'm perfectly fine. Who cares, right? Let their hormones take them where they will. I've got Oz!"

"That's the spirit," Buffy said smiling

"Except," she said chewing her lower lip, "What if one day Oz sees me for the real person I am? What if he suddenly realizes that I'm not an Eskimo vixen, I'm just Willow? Oh...OH! What if he just runs away from me screaming?"

"You mean like I'm going to do if you don't shut up?" Buffy said throwing a small piece of bread at her. "Willow you're great. Oz is great. Together you're greatness."

"He is great, isn't he?" Willow said smiling faintly. Buffy was startled as someone set a tray full of food in front of her. Her usually acute Slayer senses hadn't even registered anyone approaching their table. She looked up as Xander plopped down in the seat in front of her. Willow smiled at him as she emptied the contents of her sack lunch on the table, "Hey."

"Hey," Xander said, his voice unusually flat.

"Curb your enthusiasm," Buffy said. "Anymore emotion and you'd be dead."

"Yeah, you look like someone just died," Willow said. Her smile faded quickly. "Oh, God, nobody died, did they?"

He shook his head. "No."

"What's wrong, then?" Buffy asked.

"I don't know," he said shrugging. "I guess....I guess I just thought things would be different this time around."

"What things?" Willow asked.

"Everything," he said looking up at them. "I mean, here I am. A man, right?" He ignored Buffy's remark of "Questionable". "And I'm free. No destinies or curses hanging over my head, and what do I do? I'm stuck in a building with children. I'm not even that bright! Though, not really much of a surprise, as I said before....man now. And I have all these conflicting emotions going through my head, making it really hard to concentrate."

Buffy and Willow exchanged a look. "I think I speak for both of us when I say 'Huh'?" Buffy said raising an eyebrow.

He looked up at them and shook his head, "Nevermind. You wouldn't understand."

"Why do you keep saying you're a man now?" Willow asked, then went pale. "Oh God, you and Cordelia didn't..."

"Didn't what?" He asked poking at his food.

"No way!" Buffy said putting down her fork.

"What?" he asked slightly annoyed.

"You know," Willow said swallowing.

"No I don't," he said.

"Did you and Cordelia have sex?" Buffy whispered.

He raised his eyebrows and then concentrated really hard. "No, but I think about it alot."

"Xander!" Willow said a look mixed with relief and horror on her face.

"I think about it all the time, actually. But not just with her." He said giving them a meaningful look.

"If you know what's best for you you'll stop right there," Buffy said trying to look stern, though inside she wanted to laugh. Xander shrugged and began picking at his food. "So, Will, what's for lunch?"

"Peanut Butter and Jelly," Willow said unwrapping the saran-wrap and taking a bite. "Brain food to help me prepare for my test in Algebraaaaaaah!"

Xander and Buffy looked up at her startled.

"Are you alright?" Buffy asked patting her back roughly, as Willow choked down her sandwich.

"Xander, what are you doing?" she shrieked when she had been able to speak again.

"What? I didn't do anything," he said his eyes wide.

Willow grabbed the spoon that was frozen halfway between his plate and his mouth. "You know you're allergic to peas!"

Xander frowned at her, looked down at his plate and then back at her. "I am?"

"Oh nothing major," Willow said sarcastically. "You just break out into this rash and swell up so that you can't breathe! Or have you forgotten the Tuna Surprise incident in Second Grade when you almost died?" Willow asked almost in tears at the mere memory of it.

Xander pushed the tray away from him and looked up at them, his eyes troubled. "I guess I forgot."

"You forgot you were deathly allergic to peas?" Buffy asked unbelievingly.

"Yeah," he said looking again as if he was concentrating really hard. "Guess so."

"Xander are you feeling okay?" Willow asked reaching out and touching his hand.

"Not really," he said "I can't concentrate with all this stuff going on."

"Xander, talk to us. What's going on?" Buffy asked alarmed at the frustration in his voice..

"I just need to get away," he said looking up at them. "Away from all of this. Away from all of you."

"Xander..."

"Just leave me alone," he said standing up. He turned and walked away from them. Buffy held out a hand to stop Willow from following.

"Willow, wait. Maybe we should just give him some space. He's probably just stressed about his parents,"

Willow looked doubtful but nodded as she sat back down. "Yeah, you're probably right. We'll talk to him during fifth."

* * * * *

"Xander Harris!" Cordelia said marching up to his locker. "Where have you been? I've been waiting in the Boiler Room for thirty minutes!"

"What were you doing in the Boiler -- Oh," he said as if a light was going on behind that thick skull of his. "Sorry."

"Sorry?"

"I forgot."

"Let me guess. You were in the Library researching something for The Slayer?"

"Well..."

"You are so hopeless! You do whatever they tell you to! Be a man! Stand up for yourself," Cordelia said crossing her arms. "Now get to the Boiler Room, we've only got twenty minutes left of lunch."

Xander stared blankly at her and then he shook his head. "No."

"No?" She asked incredulous.

"No," he said firmly, tossing his bag over his shoulder. "I don't think so."

Cordelia's mouth went dry. Not at the thought of not making out with Xander. God, she wasn't that pathetic. It wasn't like she lived for those stolen moments in the Boiler Room or in some Janitor's closet with her back pressed uncomfortably against a concrete wall or steel shelf, her heart pounding, as his mouth was pressed to hers. It wasn't him that left her feeling light headed and her knees week. It was probably the fumes from the cleaning chemicals...

She snapped out of her thoughts, suddenly realizing he was walking away from her. "Xander," she said grabbing his arm and not getting a few looks from a group of Basketball players leaning against the wall. She must have startled him because he spun around and threw her arm off him. The force of his motion sent her backing into the lockers where she hit her head. She stared at him in shock as the Basketball players straightened in their slouches and looked ready to interfere on her part. For a fleeting moment she was scared of him, but that was quickly replaced by anger. How dare he startle her like that. What was his problem? She searched his face to see if this was some kind of sick joke, but there was no humor in his eyes.

"What's your problem, Harris?" she said in a low voice. Surprised and angry at her voice for shaking slightly.

"No problem," he said. "Just stay out of my way." Then he walked out the doors into the sunlight. Cordelia already felt a killer headache coming on. The Basketball players, mostly Seniors, were giving her curious glances. She turned away from them and made her way to the girl's bathroom.

Great, she thought to herself as she touched up her make-up in front of the mirror. This is going to be all over school by the end of the day. She didn't know what his problem was, but it didn't matter. No one treated Cordelia Chase that way. Especially not Xander Harris.

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Xander opened his eyes revealing a bright blue sky overhead. His voice uttered a low and painful growl as he tried to move. The sound was unfamiliar and lonely in his ears. Last night came flooding back to him as he slowly and painfully got up.

Cordy had hit him.

Intentionally.

He didn't know whether to be proud or furious.

He looked up at the steep hill where he could dimly hear cars passing on the highway. The sun seemed too bright on his sensitive eyes and his skin felt like it was burning. The thought of getting all the way across town in this kind of heat seemed impossible. He'd probably spontaneously combust before he got half way there.

He wondered where he could go to wait out the day and then suddenly the answer came to him. In his mind's eye he saw a cave and somehow he knew it was the demon's nest. He also knew that it was nearby. There, was shade and water. He felt himself being guided as his feet almost seemed to move on their own accord towards the dark cave that beckoned him home. He tried to think about what he was going to do. How he was going to approach his friends. He wondered if they realized what had happened. He wondered what had happened to turn him into the very demon that had tried to eat him for dinner. Dinner. Yes, later he would go and find himself some dinner. Perhaps that female vampire that got away last night. He could still smell her fear. His mind wandered as he traveled in what little shade there was until he reached the cave. The cool rock floor of the cave felt refreshing against his burning skin as he collapsed to the floor exhausted and aching all over from being hit by a flashy red car. He wondered if Vampires' skin burned like this in the sun. He imagined Angelus catching fire and burning before his eyes and smiled to himself as he drifted off to sleep.

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A/N: Someone said this story was strange. I wholeheartedly agree. I've never read or written anything like it. And I know this is very unprofessional of me...but can you keep a secret? Even I don't know where this is headed. So strap in. It's going to be a bumpy ride.

Please review!