Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. I merely borrow and toy with the characters as I please. Sue if you want, but as I said before I own absolutely nothing, all you'll get from me is my collection of Buffy DVD's.
Announcement: This is my second story, so I'm not a pro. I appreciate positive criticisms, please don't be mean. Okay, now on to the story, hope you enjoy.
A2: I guess I should also, give out the standard tissue warning. It's kinda sad...which means it's kinda sappy and corny. But, read it anyway.
Done
It was done.
Finally, it was all over. The First was gone and the Hellmouth was closed for good. Buffy wished she could say she'd never been happier. But, that would be a lie. So many were gone. So much blood was left on the battle field that the victory seemed hollow. Empty.
Many, faceless SIT's. Dead.
Andrew. Dead.
Faith. Dead.
Xander. Dead.
Dawn. Dead.
Spike. Dust.
Anya had left, seeing no point in remaining. Giles would be leaving to go back to England soon. Willow was undecided, but Buffy knew she would be leaving soon as well. There was nothing left there for any of them.
There was no more Xander to tell jokes, to make them laugh . No more big brother to look after her.
No more Anya to say inappropriately timed things about sex. No more bluntness.
No more Dawn to steal her clothes. No more sister.
No more Willow to confide in. No more best friend.
No more Giles to take care of her problems. No more father.
No more Spike to tag along during patrol, shooting loving glances her way. No more banter. No more lover.
No more family.
Most of the Potentials had been shipped off to where they came from to be buried in their home town. A funeral from their families.
Andrew's parents had given him a good funeral. Buffy had made an appearance.
Faith had been buried the day after the battle. It was kept discrete considering she was still supposed to be in prison in L.A.
Dawn was buried yesterday. Right next to their mother.
Xander was the last to be buried. His funeral was earlier that day. After it was over Buffy had gone home, packed up most of her stuff, and said goodbye to Willow and Giles. She had asked Giles to take care of selling the house and everything in it. She felt bad for making him clean up her mess again, but he understood.
As for Spike. What she could gather off of the ground was in an urn in Buffy's jeep. They had given something similar to a funeral. Mainly, Buffy just starred at the urn tears burning tracks down her face.
Five funerals in four days. It was too much. Too many goodbyes. Too much pain. She had one more stop before she left Sunnydale for good.
That's where she was now. Standing in the graveyard, in front of her mother and sisters grave. She wanted to say one last goodbye.
She could feel him, coming to stand next to her. After all these years she could still tell when he was around. But, he wasn't the vampire that she wished was beside her.
"Buffy?"
"Angel."
Neither one looked at each other, instead focusing their attention on the head stones in front of them.
Buffy didn't even look up as she began to speak again.
"I loved him." It was barely a whisper.
"Who?"
"Spike. I loved him. And he never knew it." Tears began to pool in her eyes.
Angel hated to hear her say those words. But, he knew they were true. He knew that Buffy had indeed loved Spike. And very much. He would've had to be blind to not see it.
"Buffy, I'm sure he did. I'm sur-"
"No. He didn't. I never once gave him any kind of indication of how much I loved him. I gave him crumbs. But, nothing solid to cling to. He deserved more."
"I loved him so much. And he never knew." This part was barely audible. And Buffy had to fight hard to keep the tears in.
Angel wanted to hug her tight to him. Give her comfort. But, he knew that his arms were not the ones she wanted. Needed. So, the attempt would be fruitless.
"What are you doing here?" Buffy, decided that a change of subject would be good. Too, many thoughts about Spike and how that had all turned out would lead to a self-induced coma.
"I came to find you. To say goodbye. We're getting ready to head back. And, you? What are you doing here?"
"Came to say goodbye. I can't stay here anymore. Too much pain. Everywhere I turn there's a bad memory."
"You can't just leave. This is were you belong."
"Not anymore. The Hellmouth's closed. Faith's dead, so a new Slayer will be called. There's no reason to stay."
"What about all the good memories. The good times."
Buffy gave a wry smile at that. 'Good times.' "I'll still have those in here," Buffy pointed at her head, "and in here." She said hand covering her heart. "Everywhere I look around here I see bad. The bad just over shadows the good. It's not worth it to be here."
"Where are you going? Do you have any idea what you're going to do?"
"Nope. But, I guess I'll know when I get there." Buffy now turned to Angel. "So, I guess this is goodbye."
"I guess so. Take care, be safe." Angel said while he gave her a strong hug.
"You too."
And with a final kiss on the forehead and one last look, Angel headed away to find the L.A. gang and Buffy started towards the Jeep.
She didn't feel right. Being alive. And she honestly wouldn't be if her sister hadn't said to her almost the exact same thing that she said before she jumped off the tower two years prior.
Be brave. Live. For me.
And she would. She would try with everything the that she had to finish living her life the way they would have wanted her. Happy. But, there would forever be a hole in her heart for all the things that she had lost. All the loved ones she had buried.
Buffy got in the Jeep and started to pull away. The music filtered through the car.
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
A sad smiled passed over Buffy's face as she realized that she could still be with her friends. While she dreamt she could still be with them. Her foot pressed harder on the accelerator. Hoping that as soon as she got where she was going that sleep would take her. So, she could once again be with the people she loved.
She was almost out of the city limits. The sign loomed closer.
NOW LEAVING SUNNYDALE
come back soon!
As she passed, Buffy let out a small, sad, "Goodbye." The tears now flowing freely down her face.
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to