Disclaimer: I do not own anything
Rin: You can see it as being sick, that is your view, but I do not share it.
Super Novacide: Okay, most seem to prefer Estel--well, you are the only one who answered. Anyway, Arwen will be in it for a while, but she won't have as major a role as I plan on giving to Estel. The title is, of course, a Beatles song.
Kawaii Blue Bear: I don't think they did have cats in Middle Earth, though Tolkien mentioned hounds a few times. Either way, it wasn't so bad, nothing really happened.
*****
Elrohir stared at the swirling snow in the glass orb. Delicate red letters spelled out his name around it, and within was a small house in the woods. As the glittering snow came to a halt, he grasped the dome and turned it upside-down, then righted it. The snow started to fall again. "Elrohir," Elladan began bursting into the room.
"Shh," Arwen admonished. "'Rohi's watching the snow." Arwen sat on the floor, watching her brother watch the snow. Arwen had not seen a real snow before, only light storms and icy freezes--never had a snowball-fight, never built a snow-Elf. She was still a child, and as all children are she was cute and tiny.
"That's nice, Arwen," Elladan said, ruffling her hair. "But I would bet he would rather be out of doors in the real snow!" (hrive is Sindarin for winter) At this Elrohir's head shot up. Even Arwen doffed her indignant mood to listen. "That's right, both of you heard correctly. It's snowing out, real snow, and hard! Want to see it really snow, Arwen?"
"Like in the hrive-globe?" she asked.
"Just like it," Elrohir said, getting to his feet. "Do you know where your cloak is, Arwen? Snow is cold." After some time the twins ad managed to get Arwen and themselves into their cloaks and boots, and outside. The ground was covered in patches of white, and snow fell slowly. Elladan knelt and began scraping snow together. "I don't think there's enough snow for-- augh!" A snowball caught him in the jaw. "This means war!"
In a matter of minutes the two were scraping up snow and tossing it at each other. Arwen, euphoric and fascinated with this mysterious white stuff, was just tossing any amount her small hands could hold at whichever brother was nearest. Snow whirled around them, falling faster and faster. In the confusion, a grumpy Elf walked outside--and was smacked in the face with a well-packed snowball.
"'Ladan," Elrohir said, nudging his brother.
"Huh?" Elladan asked, straightening up with a snowball in his hands. Seeing Glorfindel's face, the two broke into grins of fear and humor. "Frame Arwen," Elladan murmured.
"What?"
"Look how angry Glorfindel is," Elladan said. Glorfindel had taken on a purplish color now. "Run."
"Good idea," Elrohir said, nearly petrified.
*****
"And just where have you two been?"
"We were outside," Elrohir responded truthfully.
"So you might happen to know why Glorfindel believes that your sister threw a snowball at him? Surely Arwen is too small to have thought up such a trick, and it was the two of you who promised to reserve the first snowball of every season for him."
"That we did, Ada," Elladan agreed, "it was a complement, you see. The snow missile Arwen launched, however, had nothing to do with us. Despite our snowy, pink-cheeked appearance, we were not having a snowball fight but outside running a race." Elrohir nodded. Elrond looked from one son to the other, so sure it had been them who attacked Glorfindel.
"All right," he finally agreed. "I know it was you, but Glorfindel didn't see so I can't prove anything. At least you two can agree on something, I just wish that thing weren't troublemaking!" The boys smiled identical smiles and hurried off.
*****
"I can't believe we got away with that!" exclaimed Elrohir.
"I know," Elladan concurred, picking up the orb and swinging it by the red yarn at its peak. Elrohir didn't notice as he reveled in their clean get- away. Suddenly there was a shattering sound and Elrohir turned. Elladan's finger held the red string, and on the floor was a broken glass orb.
"Elladan!" Elrohir cried, rushing over to the orb. He slowly turned over all the pieces, salvaging the unbroken base and the glass where Celebrian had written his name in her beautiful letters. Tears welled up in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Elrohir. By the Valar, it was just an accident. I didn't mean it."
"You stupid ass!" Elrohir yelled. "Why would you do that?"
"What's going on? Who broke what?" Celebrian asked, having heard the glass shatter and come to investigate. Elrohir held up Elladan's orb, identical to his save the lettering.
"It looked like this, only it had my name in red," Elrohir said, tracing Elladan's blue letters. "Elladan broke it."
"Come on, 'Rohi, it was an accident!" Elladan protested.
"Elladan. Your brother is very upset about this. Perhaps you have something to say to him?" Celebrian asked.
"I already said it. I'm sorry, Elrohir, but it was an accident."
Elrohir said nothing.
"Elrohir?" Celebrian prompted.
"Get out of my room," he said softly, "both of you." When they had left, he slid the fragmented glass and wooden base into the bottom drawer of his desk and slid shut the drawer. "Stay in their forever," he requested.
*****
"Elrohir? Come on, you can't stay mad at me forever!" Elladan called, knocking on Elrohir's door. "It was an accident, it could have happened to anyone." Elrohir did not respond, and Elladan walked away, dejected.
That night Elladan couldn't sleep. He was walking the corridors when he noticed a light from beneath Elrohir's door. "'Rohi?" He lightly turned the doorknob and pushed forward. The door gave. Elrohir had lit a candle and set it on the windowsill. Outside snow fell, beautiful and innocent, blanketing the trees and ground. Elladan stepped up beside his brother. "May I ask your forgiveness?"
"Granted," Elrohir murmured, not taking his eyes off the snow. "Isn't it romantic?"
"Ada says two hundred and seven years is too young to know love," Elladan replied mournfully.
"I want my first kiss to come at a moment like this," Elrohir said, gazing outward. Elladan began to feel a tingling sensation, not entirely foreign but foreign in such strength. "White virgin snow, full, pale moon, dark blue velvet sky. It's perfect. Ada's wrong about love. There is no age for it, only the proper timing." Elladan's body was on fire. "Elladan?"
A great feeling pulsed through him as he leaned in, and put his lips to Elrohir's.
In the light of the velvet sky and sickly pale moon, the twins of Imladris shared their first kiss.
Images flashed through Elrohir's brain. "He didn't mean two brothers," Celebrian had said. It was all right to love Elladan. But in a different way, she had told him. Elrohir didn't know if what he was doing was right or if it was wrong. He wasn't sure how he felt about Elladan, and if he loved him only as a brother or if he loved him "that way". All he knew then was Elladan's soft lips on his.
Elladan did not draw away from his brother's kiss. He felt a warmth, gentle and caressing, fill him. This was right, it felt right and good. In an instant he knew that no matter what their Ada said, something that felt this perfect could not be so terrible.
*****
It was Celebrian who witnessed the boys' kiss. She saw Elrohir's confusion, and immediately felt a swell of pity for the boy. She knew nothing would ever be simple for him again, he would live his life unsure. The next morning he would face Elrond and then have the dilemma of admissions. Now he did not even know what to make of the feeling inside, whether to push Elladan away or hold him closer. In Elladan, on the other hand, Celebrian saw a great rebellion rising. He would go farther than that, perhaps not with his brother but surely with another male Elf. He would go against his father, in the not too distant future, simply to go against his father. The two would clash.
Arwen would learn, it would not be long. Would she, for herself, wish to know what it felt like? Would she perform experiments of her own? Would she be disgusted by her brothers? Would she tell someone, Elrond, perhaps? Her own confusion would be great.
Surely, Celebrian thought, at that very moment her own mother gazed into her mirror, and saw the future and the present. Galadriel had it in her power to tear the two apart. She could very well take one twin to Lothlorien. For a moment Celebrian thought to contact her mother, ask how far the twins' relationship would develop, but she decided for the best to leave Galadriel out of it.
The only thing Celebrian could not see was herself. Where would she be? Would she ever know what there was between her sons? Would she be there when their father found out? Would she be there when Arwen learned? In her mind, she could see dim shadows of all these things. None seemed right. With a sigh she turned and walked away.
*****
"Elrohir, are you ill?" Elrond asked. Elrohir had not looked into anyone's eyes, hardly even glancing at his brother, and hardly ate or spoke.
"No," he answered in a quiet whisper, though he sounded unsure. Was he? He seemed to ask himself that question. Elladan held his head high, as if to tell Elrohir he didn't need to be ashamed. Why was Elrohir ashamed?
"Is something wrong?"
"No," he said again. His face burned.
"Elrohir--" Arwen began, but Elrohir cut her off.
"May I be excused?" he asked, and left the table without waiting for answer. Arwen looked after him.
"I'll go talk to him," Celebrian said. "I think I know what's on his mind. He didn't mean any offense, Arwen, dear," Celebrian said, resting a hand on Arwen's shoulder before leaving the room.
"Elrohir?" He sat on his bed in the dark, sniffing to hold back sobs.
"Please go away," he told her.
"I know what's wrong," Celebrian said, ignoring her son's request. "I saw it, last night."
"Then you probably told Ada, and he's angry."
"Your Ada has some ideas I do not agree with, Elrohir. It's all right for two people to feel that way about each other," Celebrian assured him. "When you think it's time, tell him, but first know exactly what you are telling him. Be sure of how you feel."
"It felt right last night."
"How does it feel today?" Celebrian asked gently.
"When I remember last night, or I see Elladan, it feels good. When I see Ada, it feels wrong. I feel dirty all over," he sobbed, moving as if to clean his hands.
"Love, Elrohir, should never make you dirty. No matter who you love, if it's true, then it's right. No matter who opposes it."
"Thank you, Naneth," he whispered.
"I'll always be here if you need me, Elrohir. Never feel ashamed to tell me things, for I will not judge you by them."
*****
Two weeks had passed since the boys kissed. Only three people knew about it. Elrohir was back to his old self around Elladan and Elrond again. The snow was no longer as perfect as it had been that night. The moon was changing. The stars shone bright in the clear sky. And across the Bruinen, orcs howled.
"Elrohir?"
"Oh, come on," Elrohir sighed, giving in to the unspoken request and throwing back the covers of his bed. "But quickly, it's freezing!" Elladan slid in beside him. The actions were not as lovers but as brothers. As the two settled in an orcs howled.
"Did you hear that?" Elladan asked through chattering teeth.
"Yes," Elrohir answered. "It sent a chill up my spine."
"They cannot cross the Bruinen," Elladan consoled, curling closer to Elrohir. Elrohir moved away. Elladan did not reply, but his voice sounded different when he next spoke. "We are safe from orcs in Imladris."
"Elladan, two weeks ago. . .what did you feel, afterwards?"
"That I loved you." Elladan kissed Elrohir's neck. Elrohir shivered and drew even farther away, pressing himself against the wall. "I won't force you to do anything, Elrohir. But I felt that I loved you."
"Not sickened? Not disgusted with yourself?"
"No, not at all. I felt like I had done something that I had longed to do for a long time. Something," Elladan said in a low voice, "I would like to do again." Elrohir felt Elladan's breath on his neck. A part of him wanted it, wanted to go farther with Elladan. Yet a part of him resisted, and that part felt the bile rising in his throat. In an instant Elrohir had rolled into his brother's embrace. He wanted to be sick.
Um, sorry. If anyone actually read that, I'd appreciate your thoughts, I'm really unsure about how real that was or how well done. Anything, even if it's just a word of constructive criticism, is appreciated.
Rin: You can see it as being sick, that is your view, but I do not share it.
Super Novacide: Okay, most seem to prefer Estel--well, you are the only one who answered. Anyway, Arwen will be in it for a while, but she won't have as major a role as I plan on giving to Estel. The title is, of course, a Beatles song.
Kawaii Blue Bear: I don't think they did have cats in Middle Earth, though Tolkien mentioned hounds a few times. Either way, it wasn't so bad, nothing really happened.
*****
Elrohir stared at the swirling snow in the glass orb. Delicate red letters spelled out his name around it, and within was a small house in the woods. As the glittering snow came to a halt, he grasped the dome and turned it upside-down, then righted it. The snow started to fall again. "Elrohir," Elladan began bursting into the room.
"Shh," Arwen admonished. "'Rohi's watching the snow." Arwen sat on the floor, watching her brother watch the snow. Arwen had not seen a real snow before, only light storms and icy freezes--never had a snowball-fight, never built a snow-Elf. She was still a child, and as all children are she was cute and tiny.
"That's nice, Arwen," Elladan said, ruffling her hair. "But I would bet he would rather be out of doors in the real snow!" (hrive is Sindarin for winter) At this Elrohir's head shot up. Even Arwen doffed her indignant mood to listen. "That's right, both of you heard correctly. It's snowing out, real snow, and hard! Want to see it really snow, Arwen?"
"Like in the hrive-globe?" she asked.
"Just like it," Elrohir said, getting to his feet. "Do you know where your cloak is, Arwen? Snow is cold." After some time the twins ad managed to get Arwen and themselves into their cloaks and boots, and outside. The ground was covered in patches of white, and snow fell slowly. Elladan knelt and began scraping snow together. "I don't think there's enough snow for-- augh!" A snowball caught him in the jaw. "This means war!"
In a matter of minutes the two were scraping up snow and tossing it at each other. Arwen, euphoric and fascinated with this mysterious white stuff, was just tossing any amount her small hands could hold at whichever brother was nearest. Snow whirled around them, falling faster and faster. In the confusion, a grumpy Elf walked outside--and was smacked in the face with a well-packed snowball.
"'Ladan," Elrohir said, nudging his brother.
"Huh?" Elladan asked, straightening up with a snowball in his hands. Seeing Glorfindel's face, the two broke into grins of fear and humor. "Frame Arwen," Elladan murmured.
"What?"
"Look how angry Glorfindel is," Elladan said. Glorfindel had taken on a purplish color now. "Run."
"Good idea," Elrohir said, nearly petrified.
*****
"And just where have you two been?"
"We were outside," Elrohir responded truthfully.
"So you might happen to know why Glorfindel believes that your sister threw a snowball at him? Surely Arwen is too small to have thought up such a trick, and it was the two of you who promised to reserve the first snowball of every season for him."
"That we did, Ada," Elladan agreed, "it was a complement, you see. The snow missile Arwen launched, however, had nothing to do with us. Despite our snowy, pink-cheeked appearance, we were not having a snowball fight but outside running a race." Elrohir nodded. Elrond looked from one son to the other, so sure it had been them who attacked Glorfindel.
"All right," he finally agreed. "I know it was you, but Glorfindel didn't see so I can't prove anything. At least you two can agree on something, I just wish that thing weren't troublemaking!" The boys smiled identical smiles and hurried off.
*****
"I can't believe we got away with that!" exclaimed Elrohir.
"I know," Elladan concurred, picking up the orb and swinging it by the red yarn at its peak. Elrohir didn't notice as he reveled in their clean get- away. Suddenly there was a shattering sound and Elrohir turned. Elladan's finger held the red string, and on the floor was a broken glass orb.
"Elladan!" Elrohir cried, rushing over to the orb. He slowly turned over all the pieces, salvaging the unbroken base and the glass where Celebrian had written his name in her beautiful letters. Tears welled up in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Elrohir. By the Valar, it was just an accident. I didn't mean it."
"You stupid ass!" Elrohir yelled. "Why would you do that?"
"What's going on? Who broke what?" Celebrian asked, having heard the glass shatter and come to investigate. Elrohir held up Elladan's orb, identical to his save the lettering.
"It looked like this, only it had my name in red," Elrohir said, tracing Elladan's blue letters. "Elladan broke it."
"Come on, 'Rohi, it was an accident!" Elladan protested.
"Elladan. Your brother is very upset about this. Perhaps you have something to say to him?" Celebrian asked.
"I already said it. I'm sorry, Elrohir, but it was an accident."
Elrohir said nothing.
"Elrohir?" Celebrian prompted.
"Get out of my room," he said softly, "both of you." When they had left, he slid the fragmented glass and wooden base into the bottom drawer of his desk and slid shut the drawer. "Stay in their forever," he requested.
*****
"Elrohir? Come on, you can't stay mad at me forever!" Elladan called, knocking on Elrohir's door. "It was an accident, it could have happened to anyone." Elrohir did not respond, and Elladan walked away, dejected.
That night Elladan couldn't sleep. He was walking the corridors when he noticed a light from beneath Elrohir's door. "'Rohi?" He lightly turned the doorknob and pushed forward. The door gave. Elrohir had lit a candle and set it on the windowsill. Outside snow fell, beautiful and innocent, blanketing the trees and ground. Elladan stepped up beside his brother. "May I ask your forgiveness?"
"Granted," Elrohir murmured, not taking his eyes off the snow. "Isn't it romantic?"
"Ada says two hundred and seven years is too young to know love," Elladan replied mournfully.
"I want my first kiss to come at a moment like this," Elrohir said, gazing outward. Elladan began to feel a tingling sensation, not entirely foreign but foreign in such strength. "White virgin snow, full, pale moon, dark blue velvet sky. It's perfect. Ada's wrong about love. There is no age for it, only the proper timing." Elladan's body was on fire. "Elladan?"
A great feeling pulsed through him as he leaned in, and put his lips to Elrohir's.
In the light of the velvet sky and sickly pale moon, the twins of Imladris shared their first kiss.
Images flashed through Elrohir's brain. "He didn't mean two brothers," Celebrian had said. It was all right to love Elladan. But in a different way, she had told him. Elrohir didn't know if what he was doing was right or if it was wrong. He wasn't sure how he felt about Elladan, and if he loved him only as a brother or if he loved him "that way". All he knew then was Elladan's soft lips on his.
Elladan did not draw away from his brother's kiss. He felt a warmth, gentle and caressing, fill him. This was right, it felt right and good. In an instant he knew that no matter what their Ada said, something that felt this perfect could not be so terrible.
*****
It was Celebrian who witnessed the boys' kiss. She saw Elrohir's confusion, and immediately felt a swell of pity for the boy. She knew nothing would ever be simple for him again, he would live his life unsure. The next morning he would face Elrond and then have the dilemma of admissions. Now he did not even know what to make of the feeling inside, whether to push Elladan away or hold him closer. In Elladan, on the other hand, Celebrian saw a great rebellion rising. He would go farther than that, perhaps not with his brother but surely with another male Elf. He would go against his father, in the not too distant future, simply to go against his father. The two would clash.
Arwen would learn, it would not be long. Would she, for herself, wish to know what it felt like? Would she perform experiments of her own? Would she be disgusted by her brothers? Would she tell someone, Elrond, perhaps? Her own confusion would be great.
Surely, Celebrian thought, at that very moment her own mother gazed into her mirror, and saw the future and the present. Galadriel had it in her power to tear the two apart. She could very well take one twin to Lothlorien. For a moment Celebrian thought to contact her mother, ask how far the twins' relationship would develop, but she decided for the best to leave Galadriel out of it.
The only thing Celebrian could not see was herself. Where would she be? Would she ever know what there was between her sons? Would she be there when their father found out? Would she be there when Arwen learned? In her mind, she could see dim shadows of all these things. None seemed right. With a sigh she turned and walked away.
*****
"Elrohir, are you ill?" Elrond asked. Elrohir had not looked into anyone's eyes, hardly even glancing at his brother, and hardly ate or spoke.
"No," he answered in a quiet whisper, though he sounded unsure. Was he? He seemed to ask himself that question. Elladan held his head high, as if to tell Elrohir he didn't need to be ashamed. Why was Elrohir ashamed?
"Is something wrong?"
"No," he said again. His face burned.
"Elrohir--" Arwen began, but Elrohir cut her off.
"May I be excused?" he asked, and left the table without waiting for answer. Arwen looked after him.
"I'll go talk to him," Celebrian said. "I think I know what's on his mind. He didn't mean any offense, Arwen, dear," Celebrian said, resting a hand on Arwen's shoulder before leaving the room.
"Elrohir?" He sat on his bed in the dark, sniffing to hold back sobs.
"Please go away," he told her.
"I know what's wrong," Celebrian said, ignoring her son's request. "I saw it, last night."
"Then you probably told Ada, and he's angry."
"Your Ada has some ideas I do not agree with, Elrohir. It's all right for two people to feel that way about each other," Celebrian assured him. "When you think it's time, tell him, but first know exactly what you are telling him. Be sure of how you feel."
"It felt right last night."
"How does it feel today?" Celebrian asked gently.
"When I remember last night, or I see Elladan, it feels good. When I see Ada, it feels wrong. I feel dirty all over," he sobbed, moving as if to clean his hands.
"Love, Elrohir, should never make you dirty. No matter who you love, if it's true, then it's right. No matter who opposes it."
"Thank you, Naneth," he whispered.
"I'll always be here if you need me, Elrohir. Never feel ashamed to tell me things, for I will not judge you by them."
*****
Two weeks had passed since the boys kissed. Only three people knew about it. Elrohir was back to his old self around Elladan and Elrond again. The snow was no longer as perfect as it had been that night. The moon was changing. The stars shone bright in the clear sky. And across the Bruinen, orcs howled.
"Elrohir?"
"Oh, come on," Elrohir sighed, giving in to the unspoken request and throwing back the covers of his bed. "But quickly, it's freezing!" Elladan slid in beside him. The actions were not as lovers but as brothers. As the two settled in an orcs howled.
"Did you hear that?" Elladan asked through chattering teeth.
"Yes," Elrohir answered. "It sent a chill up my spine."
"They cannot cross the Bruinen," Elladan consoled, curling closer to Elrohir. Elrohir moved away. Elladan did not reply, but his voice sounded different when he next spoke. "We are safe from orcs in Imladris."
"Elladan, two weeks ago. . .what did you feel, afterwards?"
"That I loved you." Elladan kissed Elrohir's neck. Elrohir shivered and drew even farther away, pressing himself against the wall. "I won't force you to do anything, Elrohir. But I felt that I loved you."
"Not sickened? Not disgusted with yourself?"
"No, not at all. I felt like I had done something that I had longed to do for a long time. Something," Elladan said in a low voice, "I would like to do again." Elrohir felt Elladan's breath on his neck. A part of him wanted it, wanted to go farther with Elladan. Yet a part of him resisted, and that part felt the bile rising in his throat. In an instant Elrohir had rolled into his brother's embrace. He wanted to be sick.
Um, sorry. If anyone actually read that, I'd appreciate your thoughts, I'm really unsure about how real that was or how well done. Anything, even if it's just a word of constructive criticism, is appreciated.