Hey again everyone! I'm finally updating! Sorry for the long wait. I haven't been on ff.net very much recently and I apologise if I haven't been reviewing fics that I normally do.

As usual, thank you to all my reviewers: todd fan, Red Witch, charlie (that sounds slashy!), Cammy, Vampyre (thank you for my first flame!), RyanGosling4Ever (Ryan Gosling rocks! And thanks thrice for three reviews!), o.O/coconuttrey (meep! Get me away from thy evil eye!), fiReyLighT (i dost giveth thou credit for bobo), happymaximus (thanks for putting me on your fav author list!), and Katz R (thanks for putting me on fav author too!). I love all of you, my darling reviewers! You, may be the reason I survive, may lalalalala *sings offkey*.

Okay this chapter is just a bit of light humour. I have nothing else to say, other than have you watched Chamber of Secrets? Draco rocks!

Note: Remember that the characters in this story can be very OOC (see that, Vampyre? You can't touch me, because I have covered all my tracks! Muahaha.). Also, this story has slight hints at Lancitty (though I personally dislike it. Go Kurtty!). Lastly, lets assume that this schedule has been pasted up somewhere in the Institute where characters write comments on it whenever they feel like in between rehearsals and all that.

Disclaimer: X-Men Evolution belongs to Marvel, Harry Potter to JK Rowling (and WB and etc and etc), and 'loff' to the collection of weirdly-spelt words that serve no purpose, being the same length as the original.

**Chapter 5 - Ticket Schedule**

This is the schedule for the sale of tickets for the play Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, which will take place at the entrance of the Mall. The booth will be set up from 3-5pm from Monday to Saturday for this week, and two people are supposed to be at the booth at all times. The two people manning the booth each day are listed below.

Compiled by Ororo Munroe

Monday Scott Summers Lance Alvers
Tuesday Logan Professor Xavier
Wednesday Rogue Pietro Maximoff
Thursday Kitty Pryde

Todd Tolensky
Friday Evan Daniels Fred Dukes
Saturday Kurt Wagner Jean Grey

My decision is final, unless you have a really, really, and I mean, really good reason. Or if you are willing to pay for a Hinoki Cypress Bonsai Tree.

Comments

Xavier: Storm, no bribes! I must talk to you about this habit of yours of mentioning various plant species at certain vulnerable times.

Jean: Why is my name on the last day? And why am I pushed to the column on the right?

Lance: Forget it, I'm not working with Summers.

Evan: Can we get a bigger booth for my day? I'm afraid I won't have any space to sit.

Rogue: What is with the positioning? You got a screw loose up there, Ororo?

Kitty: Lance, you can work with me! Please, Ororo?

Fred: Do we get snacks?

Kurt: Storm, don't change any of the positions! Its all great as it is! Don't heed Kitty; she doesn't know what she is talking about!

Pietro: I suspect this is some warped plot to dispose of my effulgent ebullient personality by putting me with a sour schadenfreude.

Logan: I REFUSE TO WORK WITH THAT SNEAKY UNDERHANDED FAUX PROFESSOR

Scott: I have this horrible premonition that my shades will go wonky this coming Monday.

Rogue: I am not a sour schaudenfreude. I am an Evil Sour Schadenfreude who will murder you on Wednesday so you had better stop with the insults.

Pietro: gulp.

Xavier: Storm, in the interests of my safety, you might want to consider putting me with someone else...

Lance: I'll work with you, Kitty!

Kurt: Kitty has suddenly decided she doesn't like you anymore and doesn't want to work with you.

Jean: I insist, as one of the senior members of the X-Men, to be treated with more respect than the lowest right column!

Kitty: I never did! Kurt, shut up!

No amendments will be made to the schedule, except that Jean's position will be swapped with Kurt's. Logan, don't even think about those claws, or I'll tornado you to South Carolina. No snacks will be provided. A larger booth is not feasible, however you may make Fred stand outside and hang advertisements for the play on him. Rogue, there is no screw loose anywhere in the X-Mansion, however there is a sink in one of the upper bedrooms that needs some fixing, feel free to help. Todd, I do not count slime all over this schedule as a comment.

Logan: I never thought anything about claws. How could you think such about me? I don't need claws to - nothing.

Kurt: Ororo, I loff you! Loff loff loff!

Kitty: Ororo, I hate you! Hate hate hate!

Fred: I hate you too.

Rogue: Forget it, lady.

Todd, one more time I find slime on this schedule, I'll..er, do something really wicked. As soon as I figure out what it is.

Todd: Obstruction of artistic license!

Xavier: Storm, do you still want that Hino-whatever Bonsai Tree?

Professor, you personally reprimanded me for attempting to bribe the students! Surely you are not about to turn back on your words?

Evan: I have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach...

Logan: I can't wait for my duty day. Can you, Professor?

Jean: Thank you for making the right choice and shifting me from the lowest right column!

Pietro: Oh yeah, swapping you and Wagner makes you so much more important.

Jean: On the other hand, I want my duty day shifted up.

Xavier: Okay, I'm offering $50 for someone to write a nice epitaph for me.

Lance: Summers, if your shades so much as slip a millimetre down your nose, you are going to be buried under a pile of rubble a metre thick.

Kitty: Ooh. I love bad guys.

Scott: Alvers, if you so much as stick your hands out, your head is going to be blasted right off its shoulders.

Todd: Can I get $150 if I write epitaphs for Professor X, Lance, and Summers?

Jean, I will no longer be amending this schedule, and please, Professor, this is not a board for discussing business contracts.

~tbc~


So, how was this? A bit confusing, maybe? Anyway, does anyone know how much a can of beer costs in U.S.? I need to know that for one my later chapters. And might possibly anyone know the cost of a Hinoki Cypress Bonsai Tree?

Next chapter: Not Jean's Place to Comment. Jean writes in her diary. Yawn.

Well, hope you liked this chapter! Please review or flame! *does the review dance* Well, ttfn!

& SnoOza