Firstly, I would like to dedicate this fic completely to someone, whom I never met, but his death had a profound effect on me. This year, 2002 has been hard for me. I lost some people who went away from me (died, or went away) but I never expected this person ShinuTsuki to pass away so sudden. You see, ShinuTsuki was an author of a Saiyuki fic, Darkness: Sleeping on Wings. His fic...well not so many people reviewed his fic, but it was good for someone in his age. I don't usually review romantic fics if it involved Hakkai & OC. (I'm a Hakkai/Yaone fan), but I did, I don't know why, but I did. I honestly enjoyed his fic, except some parts which I found it very disgusting for someone at his age to write. I used harsh words against him. That was the last time I heard/read his fic. Until his sister ShinuHoshi wrote to me to say that his brother was death.
This was what his sister said about him (it's a short eulogy)...
We're fourteen and as you know… We're twins.
Since we were about seven, he likes to tag along with me even though my friends were cool and his friends were… errm… normal. He never liked it when he was alone and will always look for me. He doesn't fight and doesn't have any bad habits. He's one way too over kind kid. Unlike me. I'm only fourteen but I smoke and drink (occasionally).
Whenever he gets into a fight… I'm the one who fights for him… Even with boys. I don't know why but I guess I'm overprotective coz he's a 'wuss'.
But there was a time when this guy I like said harsh words… He stood up in front of me and punched the guy… (the guy was unconscious for about four hours…) after he punched the guy, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to our house. Everyone's jaws dropped when the guy fell… he was a troublemaker at school and 'always' kick asses… I was sooo surprised when that guy fell… I mouthed 'WOW'… we were suspended for a week.
He only wears clothes if I say that it'll fit him. He makes me choose his perfume, accessories, clothes, and everything. He always holds my hand whenever in public (people say we look like a cute couple) and he hugs me like a teddy bear when he's scared.
When we were twelve (adolescence) we decided that we should be apart most of the time, well… I decided… but he agreed. I told him that it wouldn't be nice if he leans on me and if he becomes too dependent on me.
After a few days of being apart… I slept in my room… then I felt
a warm hand around my waist… he was sleeping beside me… I called him and
asked him why he was there but he was already asleep. The next day he told
me that he didn't like being away from me… after that we always slept together.
His stuffs were moved to my room…
What he likes…
Ummm… He likes eating chocolate, donuts(strawberry filled), ice cream, fried chicken and sushi.
He drinks… sodas… every other day coffee…
He favors… penshoppe and lacoste. And those polo shirts with anime or dragons.
He wants… to be with me all the time.
Prefer talking than going anywhere.
Tries to be cool. (no need really… he was already cool and got about… half of the campus' girls head over heels for him)
Anybody who's fun to be with.
Math… dunno why… he's good at this.
And.. he loves… well, me.
ALWAYS HAS POWDER ON HIS FACE AND A HANDKERCHIEF IN HIS HAND.
What he doesn't likes…
Rude people.
Girls asking him to a date.
Girls gossiping about me.
Girls that always wear lipsticks.
Girls who wear almost nothing.
Girls that talks too loud.
Girls who laugh like a whore.
Girls who acts like queens…
And our mommy and papa. They weren't always there for us… since they're
separated. Mom has a new bf and he was sooo mad about it. He cries sometimes
about how mom gives her attention to this guy and not to us. (I don't cry
in front of him… he told me once that if I ever cry he'll kill whoever
made me cry.) He hates everyone coz they practically always sees
us as the bad ones… (We're the blacksheep of the family.)
About ff.net…
Well, it started with me writing about poems and then the poems turned into a crappy stories that he made me write… I found ff.net and I signed. He always watched how I get many reviews and mails (most of the times). He was always eager that I open my name and read, read, read some more and read.
Then I wrote this starting fic for the Hakkai and OC thingy. He gave
me some added thoughts and when I got half finished I told him to do it
and it turned horrible. Anyway I made him his own mail add and a name on
ff.net. At first I told him to be named 'hanenokinzuru'…. I think it means
'wings of the forbidden'… but since he's so dumb he name his self from
me… which is
'ShinuTsuki'. He said that even in names we'd still be together.
Like we're both dead or death and we're both on the same sky… Kinda weird
but it was so romantic… (He's a very romantic person.)
So he wrote the first series and he was so sad since he only got twelve reviews… I told him that people are lazy and I know they still read his story… fortunately… it was true.
Everyday, he tells me that he'll try to be just like me… a great writer of stories and poems…
Then I was inspired with his Reika and with Hakkai's relationship and so I wrote the poem which is the plot or base of the story 'Darkness: Sleeping on the wing'… I gave him the title.
The poem was simple and I wasn't going to post it on ff.net but he insisted that he'll use it for the sequel… Many loved it and mailed him about how perfect the poem was for the story or how the poem and story intertwine…
He was soo happy… so he kept writing and writing. Until the 'doomsday' came.
It was night and he was going to sleep when I told him that I will stay up late becoz of some things. So he slept on the reserve room (which 'was' his).
After what I did, I fell asleep… I had a nightmare…
We were running and we didn't know what was following us… He held my hand and he was crying… I was trying to comfort him and it wasn't working… until… something was pulling on his feet and the place changed and we were on the beach. And he was sinking into the deep ocean and I was standing there watching everything. I was crying and reaching out my hand for him but I couldn't reach him… I began to move farther and farther… His hand was the only thing I could see…
I woke up… I was breathing heavily… I smiled. "It was only a dream." I told myself…
So I took a bath got dressed for school and when I noticed he wasn;t still awake and I went to his room and he was still sleeping… I shouted at his ear… directly… He didn't bulged. I shook him and even pinched him… He didn't move. He wasn't breathing…
I think you know what happened next.
I miss him so much…
Sorry I lied… He died of nightmare. I didn't know if you were serious
when you asked…
Anyways, I still see him in my dreams and we often drink coffee and sit down on chairs with a round table on the middle… (like those on coffee shops)
But we never talked about how he died in his dreams… we just talked about happy moments and he asks me what was happening and…
How much he wanted to hug me again…
That's all… I'm about to cry so I'll stop now.
And the time when I received this e-mail, I wanted to cry. I really don't know what I really was feeling...shocked, sad and guilty. So I'm dedicating this sad romantic (majorly angst, but a small moment of romance) fic (probably the last fic from me) in the memory of ShinuTsuki and also for ShinuHoshi who had lost her twin brother. ShinuHoshi, I hope you're not angry that I posted a major part of your e-mail to me, describing such a wonderful person to me.
I couldn't write OC X Hakkai because I still think Hakkai could be a cute couple partner for Yaone.
One and a half month ago, there was an AXN thread that questioned, who would Hakkai go for if Kana was revived again. Yaone or Kana? Most forumers answered that Hakkai would certainly choose Kana. So that's how this fic would end (hint, hint)...Hakkai and alive Kana. Sorry Yaone's fans. But it won't happen until Yaone is really out of Hakkai's life.
I really hope you would enjoy my story. There are some parts of the story that seemed to follow other author's ideas. Like Ranka, (the name 'Tori' ) and Dishapanai (Hakkai's unexpected past enemy)..
Finally....please read and review.
Have a blessed Christmas. I hope you all would enjoy Christmas,
at least I don't this year. *Rook bowing her head, exiting *