Solution?
Sarita stood alone in the locker rooms, miserably trying to brush the mud off her uniform. The Warden's job was not at all like she'd expected, it wasn't glamorous, it wasn't fun, and it was far too easy to break the rules. She secretly longed for her old position. She could manage that, and do it well, she could probably do it better than any of the replacements. She sighed in frustration as her comlink went off. Not another Mary-Sue, this wasn't funny any more.
Dave stomped through the foliage, purposely crushing it under his feet to make Sarita squeal in protest. She followed him slowly, desperately trying to straighten the crushed stems, to make it look as if no one had passed through. Dave was tired and fed up. He hated this job now, it was no fun anymore. Sarita was close to tears as he purposely left huge footprints in the muddy bank. She hated Middle Earth, She hated Mary-Sues, She just wanted to go home.
Liz carefully carried the tea tray up the winding corridors to the control centre. She had finally managed to convince the catering manager that she wouldn't drop the contents all over the stairs. At last she was allowed to find out what was going on.
The door slid open with a faint hiss and Liz headed over to Sarita's seat. She deposited the coffee cup next the bloke sitting in the chair, then raised her eyes to look at the huge monitors.
"So, who's out there at the moment?" she asked, trying to start a conversation.
"David Thompson and Sarita Patel" he replied blankly, his eyes never leaving the screen.
"Oh" Liz felt even more left out. She gazed miserably up at the data for a while.
"So which numbers represent them?" she asked at last. The bloke clucked in annoyance and gestured towards a certain part of the screen, hoping she'd go away.
Liz stared at the numbers closely. Then at the others surrounding them.
"What does that lot represent?" Liz asked pointing at a dark mass of digits flooding the screen and slowly encircling Dave and Sarita's numbers. The bloke gave the mass a customary glance.
"Dunno" he muttered. "Could be anything, crows, wolves, rabid bunny rabbits. Leave me alone, can't you."
Liz ignored him, still staring at the dark numbers in concern. It didn't really make more sense than usual, but there was something about the way the numbers were moving. Following, always on the move, fleeting in and out of the shadows.
"I think it's a wolf pack" she said at last. "Aren't you going to warn them?" She squinted over towards the dangerous weapons cabinet. There didn't seem to be anything missing. Did that mean they didn't take any?
"No" The bloke in the chair said, he was getting really annoyed now. "I'm not, because I don't think there's any danger."
"But look!" Liz insisted. "Even I can tell that those numbers represent something bad."
"And what would a Warden know about that?" He hissed. "I meant to say, what would a disgraced, demoted Warden know about data that takes months of training to interpret." Liz tried not to let the sting show. She was more concerned about her friends.
"Please." She said at last. "Just to be safe, rather than sorry. Please warn them of the danger."
"I said no!" The bloke was nearly shouting now. "If you don't go away, I'll report you to the Boss. You know that you only need to do one little thing wrong now, and you'll be thrown out of the company." Liz stared at him long and hard. She knew now what she needed to do, just needed the courage to do it.
"I know" she said slowly, removing her white cap, her chestnut locks spilling around her shoulders.
"But a friend's safety is much more important than a job."
She turned and started walking quickly towards the portal, eventually breaking into a run. She tore off the hated red and white checkered apron and threw it to the ground as she ran. She didn't have much time.
She tore open the glass door to the dangerous weapons cabinet. All the weapon's were in their places. Had Dave been so distracted that he'd forgotten to take anything? That wasn't like him. She selected a couple of pistols and shoved them into her belt. She scribbled her signature on the requisition book, she would face the consequences of that later.
She skidded to a stop as she reached the portal barrier. She thrust her card into the slot and waited for it to open. Unfortunately, the red light flashed instead and the words "Access Denied" flashed over the screen. The barrier remained closed.
"I'm sorry Liz" The portal operator said as he came out of the control room. "I can't let you in, You're not allowed to use these apparatus any more."
"But Dave and Sarita are in danger!" Liz cried, She placed her hands on top of the barrier and hauled herself up. She swung her legs over and landed, feet together next to the portal platform. The operator watched her climb over the barrier uneasily, glancing around to see if any one else was watching.
"You've got to send me through." Liz pleaded, hands outstretched. "Would you ever be able to forgive yourself if they died from lack of warning." The operator eased his collar uneasily.
"You're putting me in a very difficult position" he said at last. "Obviously, I don't want anyone to get hurt, but can you imagine the trouble I'd get in if I allowed you through?"
"I'll take all the blame." Liz offered quickly, "You won't get into trouble."
"But you'll lose your job" The portal officer cried in surprise.
"I know" Liz's brandy brown eyes began to fill with tears. "But better a job than a friend."
The argument lasted some time before the portal operator gave in. He headed for the control room, Liz followed him eagerly.
"I assume you don't have the exact co-ordinates?" he called.
"No" Liz admitted, "Can you just get me in roughly the right place."
"It's a bit more complicated than that." The portal officer replied, throwing a few switches and causing various buttons on the control pannel to light up. "Without the co-ordinates, you could end up anywhere. It's too risky." He scanned through lists of data on the mini-screen.
"I can reload the last set of co-ordinates" he said at last. "At least then you'll end up in Middle Earth. I can send you where Dave and Sarita were dropped off. You'll have to find them from there. That's the best I can do."
"Thank you" Liz cried gratefully, flinging her arms around his neck.
"Careful" he joked. "You'll make the wife jealous. Now you're taking the blame for this, mind?"
"Yes" Liz agreed, leaping up onto the portal platform. She steeled herself for the transportation as the lights grew brighter...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Liz ran. There was a stitch pounding in her side and her breath was coming in torn gasps. Her legs were beginning to feel like lead, and she felt a little dizzy. She still refused to slow down, she didn't have enough time.
Dave was getting really frustrated. They'd been walking around in circles for ages, and there was still no sign of the Mary-Sue. Every time he'd contacted Base, he just got a grumpy short reply, with no help. He was beginning to suspect that Sarita's replacement didn't have much of a clue how to read the data either.
Sarita was trailing behind, her legs were aching and she couldn't keep up with Dave. Gradually the gap between them got wider and wider, until he was nowhere in sight.
Suddenly she stopped, realising she was no longer following his trail. The trees were tall and threatening. Dusk was falling, casting dark shadows through the woods. She was alone. Then with a jolt, she realised she was lost. She called his name, trying to control her fear. There was no reply. From somewhere behind her, she heard a wolf howl.
Liz sped through the trees, her hair streaming out behind her, the darkening sky making it harder to see all the fallen branches she needed to avoid. Surely it couldn't be far now?
She heard a menacing swish in the undergrowth. She stopped and turned, pistol in hand. She saw the slitty, yellow eyes emerging slowly from the gloom. Fangs bared, preparing to pounce. She fired quickly and the wolf dropped dead at her feet. So her guess had been correct. The dark numbers on the screen had been wolves. But this was a loner, where were the rest? She heard a chorus of howls echoing through the trees in front of her. She thrust the pistol back into her belt and started to run again.
Dave heard the wolves howling and felt a shiver of fear crawl up his spine. There was something about the cry of the wolf in the dark of the forest, that was incredibly creepy. He felt for his pistol, and met an empty holder on his belt. Suddenly he realised. He had been so grumpy and frustrated when they started out, that he'd forgotten to take a pistol from the weapons cabinet. How could he have been so stupid? He had the stunner, but that needed 10 seconds to re-energise between shots. It wouldn't be much use against a large pack of wolves.
He looked to check that Sarita was still following, but she wasn't there. A cold chill gripped him, as he realised he hadn't checked behind him for a long time. She could be anywhere, and a hungry wolfpack was much more likely to attack a single person wandering lost. He started running back the way he had come.
Dave let out a sigh of relief when he saw a girl in the distance.
"Sarita, thank goodness I've found you, I'm sorry" he panted breathlessly. The girl turned to face him. It wasn't Sarita, it was obviously the Mary-Sue. The girl had short spiky red hair and a tiny mini-skirt. She was chewing gum, her teeth grinding away, making sloshing noises.
"What's up with you then?" she asked sarcastically. "Scared of the wolves?"
"No" Dave lied steadily. "But I've lost my friend, she'll be scared. Have you seen her?"
"Nope" the Mary-Sue champed away noisily. "Good luck, I've seen what wolves can do to people."
"Aren't you going to help me find her?" Dave asked incredulously.
"Nope" the Mary-Sue replied. "She's your problem. I've got to go find this bloke, I know he's around here somewhere." She turned to leave. Dave swung her round and quickly snapped the handcuffs on.
"You're not going anywhere" he replied as she gave a squeal of rage. "We're going to find Sarita together. The wolves are less likely to attack a group of three."
He prodded her sharply until she started moving along the track. Her mouth spewing a stream of Un-Middle-Earth-like curses. Dave was almost glad that Sarita couldn't hear them. She would be horrified that such language was being used here. It would probably break almost every rule in the book.
Suddenly, Dave stopped dead. The shadows stirred on every side, and slitty yellow eyes of wolves peeled away from the darkness, slinking towards him. He backed away slowly, the Mary-Sue whimpering at his side. There were loads of them, lurking in the shadows in all directions, slowly coming closer. Snarling fangs gleaming dimly in the darkness.
They were closing in for the kill, preparing to pounce, about to tear them to pieces. Dave looked about helplessly, there was nothing he could do. He grabbed a wooden branch as a club and brandished it in front of him. The carnivorous wolves took no notice, still slinking closer and closer.
Suddenly, Liz burst into the clearing like an avenging angel, firing pistols repeatedly. She chucked a pistol to Dave who caught it gratefully and started firing at wolves that leapt at him out of the shadows. The number of wolf corpses grew, until the remainder had slunk away into the shadows. When the echoes of the last shot had faded away into the night, Dave turned to Liz in amazement.
"I've never been so glad to see anyone in my life!" he admitted. "But what are you doing here?"
"Two things." Liz replied wryly as she attached her pistol to her belt. "Saving your life and losing my job. Where's Sarita?"
At that moment, a terrified scream echoed through the trees. Liz hauled the gibbering Mary-Sue to her feet, and they ran in the direction of the sound.
Sarita was standing alone amongst the trees.
"It was horrible!" she cried as the others ran up to her.
"What was? a wolf?" Liz asked breathlessly.
"No! a giant spider!" Sarita squealed.
"But we're nowhere near Mirkwood" Dave commented, puzzled.
"It was that big!" Sarita continued indicating a space about 5cms between her fingers. "I hate this place! I want to go home!!"
At that moment, the trees started to glow...
Liz's heart sank as soon as she opened her eyes. The Boss was waiting there, his face set as grim as concrete.
"Nice knowing you" Liz muttered squeezing Dave's arm. She stepped obediently off the platform. The Boss started to escort her from the building.
"Wait, Sir!" Dave cried desperately. "She saved our lives! Give her another chance, please!" The Boss turned, his face slightly puzzled.
"Is this true?" he asked. Liz stared at the floor, and nodded slightly. The Boss looked a little undecided.
"Sir!" Sean ran excited across the control room, nearly sending monitors flying. "Sir, I've cracked it! I've finally done it! I've worked out how we can prevent Mary-Sue's from entering Middle Earth forever!" He came to a smiling, breathless halt before the Boss.
"It was Liz who gave me the idea" he credited generously. Liz gave him a grateful smile.
"Really?" the Boss murmured. His stern gaze moving from the impatient Sean to Liz and back again.
"Perhaps I may have been a little hasty. Report to my office in an hour." He turned to Sean "Tell me more about that idea" he said.
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Liz stood rigidly in the Boss' office, her hands clasped firmly behind her back. The Boss leisurely placed some papers on the desk in front of him. He clasped his hands together and gazed at Liz over his fingertips. Liz hated the waiting. Why couldn't he just say whether she could stay or not.
"In view of your recent actions, I have decided not to dismiss you."
He shuffled through the papers again.
"Unfortunately, all the Warden posts are full" the Boss said at last. "However, you can stay on in the kitchens." Liz's heart sank.
There was a knock on the door, and the secretary handed a couple of papers over. The Boss glanced through them quickly.
"On the other hand, Sarita Patel has just requested transfer back her old job. So your old position is free. However, if anything happens like that again, there will be no second chance." Liz nodded in agreement
"Thank you" she replied, trying to control the beam that threatened to spread across her face. She excused herself and went to share the good news.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The next couple of days were quiet for the Wardens, unusually, there were no Mary-Sues. The other departments were rushed off their feet preparing to put Sean's plan into action. The technology behind the plan was far over Liz's head. When she'd asked Sean for a simple explanation, he'd sighed and said to just accept the fact that Mary-Sue's would no longer be able to break through into Middle Earth and not to question how it worked. Liz had to be satisfied with that.
The lapse in Mary-Sues gave her more time to think. What would happen to the organisation when there were no longer any Mary-Sues? Everyone would lose their jobs. Yet no-one else seemed to be thinking about this, they all seemed perfectly cheerful and excited about the idea.
At last, the big day arrived. The Boss held a meeting first thing in the morning for all members of the organisation. The final countdown had begun. The plan was to energise the shield at 3 O'clock in the afternoon. During the transition, the boundaries would be a bit unstable. Two Wardens were required to wait in Middle Earth to check that nothing unusual happened and there were no Mary-Sues sneaking in, before Middle Earth became officially Mary-Sue proof. Then they would be brought home, the transition crystals in the portal disabled so that no-one could enter Middle Earth again. Liz's heart felt heavy as she realised that this was really the end of the Wardens. She immediately volunteered for the final trip to Middle Earth. There was no way they were closing it up before she got a chance to say Goodbye.
A small crowd gathered around the portal as Liz and Dave prepared to be the last Wardens to travel to Middle Earth. They laughed and waved as Liz and Dave faded away. The timer was counting down, only 15 minutes to go, and Middle Earth would be safe.
Liz opened her eyes to see the beautiful countryside she loved so much.
"After this is over, maybe I'll move to New Zealand" she commented as they started along the track. Dave gave her a funny look, but didn't say anything. They walked in silence, the minutes passing quickly.
"3 minutes and counting..." The Bosses voice came over the comlink. Liz blinked back a couple of tears. She refused to get emotional over this... at least she refused to let anyone see her get emotional over this.
They rounded the corner and saw the Fellowship in front of them for the last time. Dave glanced from member to member, all so familiar now, in a way, it was a shame..
"60 seconds..." the comlink chirped. The sky seemed to darken and grow lighter again. Liz and Dave looked at each other in puzzlement. Was that supposed to happen?
"30 seconds..." Suddenly, everything flashed a shade of pink as if they were looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses. Even the Fellowship noticed this, they glanced at each other uneasily. Dave reached for the comlink
"Is everything alright?" he asked Sarita, "I just thought you ought to know that..."
Without warning, the view of the path in front of the Fellowship seemed to twist open, a familiar black vortex materialised and the coloured streaks of light danced across the shrubs and trees.
"Not now!" Liz whispered. "Not a Mary-Sue now!"
"15 seconds..." went the comlink.
The Fellowship looked terrified of the vortex at first, then Pippin approached it cautiously, his face lit up by the bright light, the coloured streaks dancing harmlessly on his clothes and hair. He walked closer towards the vortex, his hands stretched out, a puzzled expression on his face.
"10 seconds..."
"Noooo" moaned Dave "Stay away from it" he urged quietly.
The other hobbits moved closer towards the vortex, the wind blowing their hair, their curiosity heightened. It all happened so quickly. One second they were standing before the hole, the next they had disappeared.
"9..8..7..." Liz and Dave watched in horror as the other members of the Fellowship investigated the vortex, trying to work out where their companions had gone.
"6..5..." Now they had all disappeared. Liz and Dave shared a horrified glance. There was nothing for it, they had a duty to protect Middle Earth, and this meant ensuring that the Fellowship didn't leave it. Liz and Dave quickly sped towards the vortex.
"Emergency...emergency... Fellowship left Middle Earth... are following" Dave managed to shout down the comlink as they approached the vortex. It was even more terrifying close up. What had made the Fellowship investigate it?
"4..3..." Liz hesitated at the last step. If travelling by portal was bad enough, what would this be like? Dave grabbed her by the hand and dragged her into the spiralling blackness.
"2..1...Energize" the comlink finished before it was replaced by static. The birds in the bush at the side of the road watched as the strange new vortex blinked out as if a blind was pulled down in front of it.
"...Energize" The Boss had hardly got the words out of his mouth before a round of applause and cheering sped across the room. Everyone had poured into the control room to see the last few moments of Middle Earth. Now it was seriously overcrowded.
"I now declare Middle Earth officially Mary-Sue free" the Boss shouted over the noise. The cheering increased. "The Fellowship will be able to conduct their lives in peace. Mary-Sue's will no longer trouble them... and Legolas may have the chance to regrow a few braincells" The applause drowned him out again.
He turned to Sarita who was repeatedly calling down the comlink, a worried frown on her face.
"Is there something wrong?" he asked.
"Yes" Sarita turned to face him. "I got a hurried emergency message from Dave. He said the Fellowship had left Middle Earth, and they were following."
"The Fellowship have left Middle Earth?" The noise in the room stopped instantly, everyone's attention was rooted on Sarita. She scanned through the data monitors quickly.
"There is no sign of the Fellowship anywhere in Middle Earth. Nor is there any sign of Dave and Liz." A horrified gasp rippled through the crowded room. The Boss tried to shut out the excess noise and concentrate on Sarita. He leaned forward, one hand resting on the desk and the other on the back of her chair. He also gazed at the moving data screen.
"Do you know where they are?" he asked gravely. Sarita scanned through screens of data. She typed in commands and read though the new data quickly. The room was tense, waiting for the result.
"I think..." she said at last. "I'm not sure, but I think they're in our time continuum..."
"Do you have the location?" The Boss asked anxiously.
"The co-ordinates are coming" she replied, watching the numbers rapidly decrease, searching for a fix.
"They're in the UK..." she read "...Southern England...Ok, they're stabilising at... 51 deg 30' N..." she read quickly. "0 deg 5' W..." She looked up at the Boss, her eyes wide.
"I think they've ended up in present day London...."
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A solution…Was it too simplistic to believe that Mary-Sues could be permanently banned from Middle Earth so easily?
It would certainly save Legolas' brain cells… but the idea is that you seal it off with the fellowship inside!
Will they succeed? Will the fellowship finally be able to complete their mission without Mary-Sues constantly disrupting them?
Just have to wait for the last chapter!