Probability
By Thalia Weaver
A/N: *counts reviews* Eeeexcellent…:) Now, in this chapter, your eternal question will be answered: how does Elrond react to diarrhea? (dun dun dun…)
Disclaimer: Oh, honestly, people, are you stupid? 'Snot mine. *giggles* Tee hee…snot….
Chapter Five: String Theory
Imagine an atom as a shell; cut it in half, and within, past the frantically orbiting electrons, and inside the inert protons and neutrons, you will find particles so small that there are millions within just one of your fingernails. Now imagine that within them, composing them, there are infitesimally tiny loops of subatomic 'string', whose oscillating loops form the cosmic harmony of the universe…
~.~.~
"Vende, a cuiva,"* said Lord Elrond, waking Thalia up. Her head immediately began pounding, and reflexively she sat forward before what little remained in her stomach came up.
Lord Elrond swiftly held out a wooden bucket, into which she hurled. Thalia sat back, clutching her stomach.
"Never has the food of Rivendell caused such sickness in a stranger," he said, frowning. "What exactly did you eat?"
Thalia shrugged. "Nothing but what the cook gave me. Some bread, I think- there were really good cakes. And some ale."
He nodded, his face clearing. "And you have never before drunk ale?"
She nodded.
"Ofttimes the ale of the elves may cause a sickness in strangers," he said. "There is naught I can do for it, I fear. Your bowels must clear themselves in whatver manner they can, and it will be some days before you recover."
Thalia's eyes widened, and she gasped. "LordElrondIhavetopoop!" She exclaimed, the words running together.
He frowned. "What?"
"Lord Elrond…I have to poop," she replied, blushing.
He nodded. "Can you wait a moment?"
Thalia groaned. "I'm not… sure."
He handed her a chamber pot, taking it from its storage place under the bed.
"Use this," he said, and exited.
Thalia eyed it balefully, wishing for a flush toilet. Soon, howerver, her roiling bowels overcame any such squeamishness.
Lord Elrond re-entered the room a few minutes later. Thalia, spent, was sleeping peacefully against the pillows, snoring occasionally.
He eyed the chamber pot, wrinkling his nose slightly at the smell, then picked it up.
The elf-lord winced at the brown liquidy mass within the pot.
"Diarrhea. I might have known."
***
"Never have I seen a case so grave of the ale sickness," Elladan said later, as Thalia stirred in her sleep and moaned a little.
Elrond shrugged. "Perhaps it is by virtue of the land she hails from," he replied.
Elladan turned to his father. "Where does she hail from? You did not tell me."
Elrond sighed. "She…comes from another world, my son."
"What?" Elladan asked, puzzled.
His father shrugged. "Long have I guessed that something exists beyond Arda- even Ea," he replied. "There are…feelings, sometimes… but I do not doubt her word. My fëa tells me that it is truth."
Elladan nodded, his brow furrowed. "But how did she come to be here?"
Elrond shrugged again. "I do not think she knows, herself…but I have not yet had time to question her. She was too weary and hungry to be coherent when first we spoke, and now the Valar know she is too ill."
Elladan searched the sleeping girl's face for some hint, some sign of the distance she had travelled from her home, but saw nothing.
"Mortals are like children while they sleep," Elrond said, echoing his son's thoughts.
Elladan nodded. "It is as though all their worries and troubles disappear. I wonder if their death is like an endless sleep?" He sighed. "To rest such for eternity- there would be comfort in oblivion."
His father touched his hand, and their eyes met. "That is not the fate of the Eldar, my son. I have wondered on it also." An ancient pain lit his eyes. "After your mother left…"
Thalia, asleep, issued a momentuous explosion, completely shattering the moment. Elladan winced.
"Such odor from one so small!"
Elrond turned to leave, being experienced in such matters. "There will be more from whence it came."
They left too late to escape a barrage of flatulence. Thalia stirred in her sleep, a ghost of a smile seeming to flit over her unconscious features.
A/N II: *is evil* Muhahahah. Much apologies to Elrond and Elladan for having their mushy scene interrupted.
* Maiden, awaken!