Spot still hadn't figured out my secret, which amazed everyone including myself. He was usually so up on things, and he missed something this important. I guess he was preoccupied with Chant and that whole front. Bloody beatings in the street became more common, though to my knowledge no one had suffered a mortal wound. I was still pretty sheltered from war information staying hidden with Birdy and her father. I also was kept far from people with helpful advice – not that Birdy didn't try, but she just didn't know what to say. No one really did. Then I realized who I should have talked to. It had been staring me in the face the entire time and I just ignored it. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it before.
"Medda!" I shouted out one day while I helped Birdy wash clothing.
"What?" she questioned in reaction to my strange exclamation.
"I need to talk to Medda. She told me I could talk to her if I needed to. I think this qualifies as needing to," I answered.
"All right." And with those last words we were off to Irving Hall to talk to the redheaded woman I had only met once or twice before.
Suddenly, I made a random connection. "Why is it that red-heads give the best advice?"
"Where did ya get dat?"
"No earthly clue. Just noticing that both Mouth and Medda have puffy red hair," I answered. Birdy gave me an odd look that made me laugh for the first time since that fateful day.
My laughing still hadn't ceased when we reached the wooden doors to Medda's dressing room, the average entrance for performers and newsboys and girls. At first, I wasn't sure the woman in the room Birdy had directed me to was the Medda I knew. She was wearing a plain black skirt and blue top quite unlike her purple and pink show dresses. Her hair was combed into a clip on the back of her head, giving her a more motherly appearance.
"Birdy? Spark? Can I help you?" she asked without a hint of her feigned Swedish accent from the stage.
"Well, ya see.." I started, but hearing the concern in Medda's voice made tears stream down from my eyes making me incapable of speaking coherently.
Birdy filled her in for me. I heard my own tale being told, making me realize how stupid and foolish I had been. I'd become what I hated (a/n: that's a good song by Midtown. download it today!), and the worst had happened because of it. I expected either a lecture on my stupidity or a comforting word or two, but she simply looked me straight in the eye and asked, "What are you going to do?"
I looked at her bleary eyed. "What?"
"Well, you can't very well raise a child in a newsgirls lodging house," she stated plainly and without emotion. I thought for a moment. I didn't have any options at all. I hadn't even thought that far in advance, I was a little more worried about what would happen when Spot found out. Shamed I turned my head from her gaze and looked around the room at a figurine of a dancer. "When are you due?"
I thought for a moment. "I'm about," I mentally added the most likely number. I'd been living with Birdy for just over a month. "I must be about a month in," I finished.
"Well then, you still have some time. But you need a plan, even eight months in advance. Now if you really don't have any options, I've got an idea. I've got an extra room hear and in six months one of my regular acts is leaving. Ya got any talents, kid?"
I reflected on my talents, and only one came to mind. "I play the guitar."
"That's perfect. We haven't had a guitarist in years. I know you'll be pretty far along then, but we'll hide it somehow. You'll be sitting anyway. Does that sound like a deal?"
"Thank you," I said. Honestly, having my child grow up behind the Vaudeville stage was not what I had been imagining, but she was right, I didn't have any other options. "I'll do that."
"For now--" Medda started, but she never got a chance to finish. At that very moment I rushed for the restroom, my hand over my mouth. I threw up violently three or four times before standing up. "If the sickness is already starting I know this'll be a hard pregnancy. You sure you can take care of her?"
Birdy nodded. "We don't really have any other options, do we?"
Medda reflected on this comment as she got me a cup of cold water to rinse my mouth out with. "No, you really don't. I think you should get her home now though. Feel free to stop by if you need help," she offered.
Limply I let myself be dragged out of the Irving Hall doors and back to the house. I tripped on my way up the stairs, but I managed to lay down comfortably. My first bitter taste of morning sickness, and I definitely didn't like it.
~*~*~*~ About A Week Later ~*~*~*~
I sat on the windowsill watching out in the streets. A few punches were being exchanged between a Queens boy I recognized from the meetings and a boy who must have been from either Midtown, Long Island, or the Bronx. I watched the Queens boy take a punch in the eye, wishing I could help him. He was going to have a shiner for days, though the other boy looked to be in worse condition. My reverie was awakened by the knock on the door.
"Come on in, Boidy," I said without moving.
"I ain't Boidy," I heard Spot say. "Can I still come in?"
"Why wouldn't ya be able ta?" I asked. I suppose he was unable to come up with an answer as he walked into the room and sat on the bed in the room. "What ya heah for? Bad news?"
"Actually, its good, at least for you. Jack an' I was talkin' an' we decided ya can come home for now." I smiled and reached up to hug him. He was slightly startled but returned the embrace a moment later. I almost laughed at home unused to family affection he was.
"Thank ya," I said, smiling. "What changed ya mind?"
"Well, we got some o' Jacky's boys in Brooklyn ta protect ya, so I'se all right wit' ya bein' home. It's probably bettah for ya in da end." Spot told me to pack up my things, and I quickly grabbed my few outfits stashing them in my bag to leave. We started walking down the stairs when I made a mad dash for the restroom again. As I wretched I heard Spot call Birdy to come. "Is she gonna be all right?" he asked. I was almost touched by the concern in his voice.
"She'll be fine," she reassured.
"Has dis happened before?" Birdy nodded. "Why did no one send for me?"
"Well, ya see, this is perfectly normal."
Puzzled, Spot asked, "What do ya mean, dis is normal?"
"Spot," she started. "Ya sistah is gonna have a baby."
Spot stared at me. "Wit' who? I'll moidah da bastahd!! Who took advantage of me sistah?" he hollered.
"I don' know," I said, finally recovering.
"What do ya mean ya don' know??" he shouted at the top of his lungs. "Ya mean ya did dis more den once?"
I looked up at him, tears once again streaming down my face. Dammit, I'd been crying a lot lately. I hated crying, it showed weakness, and I wouldn't stand for weakness. I couldn't choke the words out so I simply nodded.
"Ya whore! I'se embarrassed ta admit you'se me sistah! What da hell were ya thinkin'?" he yelled even louder than before.
"Hypocrite! Ya knocked up Sli an' ya ain't wit' her!" I shouted back.
"Dat's a different story completely! An' ya can' tell me what ta do! I'se ya oldah bruddah! I'se in charge of ya!"
"So what are ya gonna do ta me?" I said. I suppose this wasn't the best time to say that.
"Ya ain't comin' ta Brooklyn, dat's for shuh! You'se ain't allowed ta set foot on me territory, ya floozy!" With that he stomped out of the door, and out of my life. But not without leaving a lasting sting that nagged at me forever.
"What am I gonna do, Boidy? What am I gonna do?" I begged. "I can' stay heah no more, it ain't fair ta ya. I'll find a place."
"We'll take ya back ta 'Hattan. Me cousin'll keep ya, she's a kind person at heart an' she'll help ya out," Birdy offered. "Ya want dat?" I nodded and she helped me out of the door and walked me to the Manhattan lodging house that I hadn't set foot in since the day I left for Birdy's.
Choruses of "what's wrong?" surrounded me as I walked into the lodging house bawling my eyes out with Birdy trailing behind.
"Spot don' want me. He abandoned me an' exiled me from Brooklyn."
"Why?" everyone asked at the same time.
"I'se," I started. I couldn't bring myself to say it, I was too ashamed at myself.
"She's pregnant," Patch finished for me. I shouldn't have been surprised she knew, Mouth had once mentioned Patch being her secret-keeper of sorts. "Now leave 'er alone. She's been through too much dis past month, she deserves a night off." She turned to me. "Follow me, Spahk. I got an extra room for ya, an' we'll talk in da moinin'."
She led me to a little private room. "Thank you," I said before laying down and trying to sleep. For once in my life, sleep didn't come at that very instant. The entire night I laid there, confused and disoriented. The one place I called home now I wasn't allowed to go into. The only piece left of my family had deserted me, and now I was going to be a single mother in only a matter of six or seven months. Even then, it hadn't entirely hit me.
A/N: Sorry this took me longer than usual, but it was practically a double chapter by my standards.
Shoutouts:
Mouth: I know, you're good with that advice shit. And getting soaked. LOL. What is this about Bry proposing? If I knew getting a boyfriend made you this happy I would have gotten you one before now. Haha. Much love, bestest friend!
Sweets: Haha I use that line a lot in my reviews of my friends too. I updated! I know it took a while, but I finally updated. Yay!
Fingers: * bows * Okay, yeah, I know I need to use you all more, and now I'm back in the lodging house in 'Hattan so we'll be seeing plenty of you guys. I just went off on that leg for a while, but I'm back to the center of the newsie universe again. And Aaron Lohr is not yours. And that is so my line, for the record. You can ask Mandy, I said it in English class.
Soaker: Well, this chapter is pretty sad too, but I promise there will be a happy chapter next with a large dose of Racetrack Higgins. That's all I can say now. J
Reffy: I don't know that this counts as working out, but we'll see what direction things take to come. Spark says thanks for the concern. LOL. Glad you like it!
Drama-Queen: Sorry, this update took a while too. But I did it eventually, and the reviews fueled me along. Yep, that's what happens when you sleep around (not that I know from experience). Glad you like this and my other stuff.
Sprite: Whoa, somehow the tables turned and you updated more frequently than me. What's going on with that? LOL. Thanks soo much for reviewing all the time, I really look forward to your reviews (hint, hint) as much as I do your updates (hint, hint). By the way, superrific is a great word. Haha.