Chapter: Think about it.



An entire day had gone by and he didn't see her. He needed to clear his head before he considered himself in a sound enough mind to go out in public. He didn't want to go Crash then run into her in his current state of weakness. So he went to the needle and sat there thinking.

He unwillingly remembered the first time she showed any sort of affection to him without the purpose being to infuriate Logan. It probably was nothing to her but he marked it down on his list of the most significant moments of his short life.

Flashback

" I just thought you could use one. . . you know. . .to call. . . whoever."

Max looked at him with an expression of pure shock on her face. She turned on the phone. It was even activated. " Thank you so much." She always wanted a cell phone but she never could bring herself to buy one.

His heart stopped as she moved closer to him. Everything moved in slow motion like time knew he wanted to savor the moment. Gracefully she delivered her kiss and he felt himself go weak in the knees. And as soon as it was over, everything started to move faster. His heart began beat triple times it's speed. He hoped to God that she couldn't hear it going wild.

Knowing that he had to say something, he mouthed the only think he could think of at that moment, " Welcome."

She smiled at him for a while, and then walked away still looking at the phone.

End Flashback.



He smiled at himself. " That was so. . . God. . . I don't know. . . Good."

" Talking to your self Alec? Finally lost it huh."

His eyes grew wide. He didn't hear her coming because he was so engrossed in his memories. Now she caught him talking to himself.

While he worked out excuses in his head she came and sat next to him and looked on at him, battling the embarrassment out of his mind. " What was good?"

" I was thinking about a movie I saw." He lied quickly. Knowing that she would ask more questions and she'd figure out he was lying he changed the topic. "I thought you were mad at me."

" I am . . . Well not really . . . actually yeah I am mad at you . . . but not really really mad."

He smiled at her indecisiveness. " Which is it?"

" Both." She knew that she should forgive him since he said he was sorry and all but she would have liked him to put more of an effort in quest for forgiveness.

" How come you're not with Logan?" He had to ask, he always had to. He wanted to believe he still had a chance, a ghost of chance.

She raised her shoulders. " I don't know. I just wanted to clear my head."

Was he sensing a hurricane on the little paradise Max had created in her mind? Was she having problems with Logan already? " What is there in your head that needs to be cleared out?"

She didn't want to say it but felt she had to let him know that it bothered her, because he seemed to be completely oblivious of the fact. " I felt. . . stupid when you didn't show up. . . really stupid, cause I waited for a good while. Then you just said that you forgot like it was no big deal. It was a big deal to me, I felt insignificant and I don't like feeling that way." He looked down at his hands trying to avoid her eyes. " You of all people should know that."

He knew he had to be careful with his words. He wanted her to know that he cared but not to an abnormal extend. " If it helps any, I'll tell you now, that I did feel really bad about it and I still do. I just didn't know what else to say. I mean you looked like I took the frosting off your cereal."

" You could have said what was on your mind."

" It's not always easy to blurt out what your thinking. Sometimes you have to watch your words."

" So you chose to make me feel stupid."

How did she think he felt when she had just gone back with Logan and he was thrown to the waste side like an old appliance that was no longer useful? He felt stupid too. So it was like and eye for an eye. " I didn't know what you wanted me to say. I said I was sorry."

" I wanted you to be there," she blurted out. She caught herself by surprise and she could see that he too was taken aback.

" You can't expect me to be there all the time. I mean. . . you have Logan now and I have…I have other things to do with my time."

She didn't think that it was possible until now. He was lying, He didn't forget. He didn't come on purpose. " Where were you anyway?"

"Um… meeting . . . a friend of mine."

" Really, which one?"

" Just someone who was in my unit. David, he calls himself now."

" Just shut up okay," She stood up. " If you didn't want to come all you had to do was say so. I sat on my ass waiting for hours and you were somewhere else getting a kick out of it."

He stood up to meet her face to face. " I was home, and I wasn't getting a kick out of it. In fact I downed two bottles that night." Her expression softened. " I really wasn't expecting you to wait that long."

" If you wanted to come, why couldn't you just come? You don't have to sit down and think about things all the time. Friendship comes naturally, you can't plot your moves like you're on some kind of mission."

" I'm sorry okay. Can we just drop this?" He didn't want to get too much into the argument in case he said something he didn't want to say.

She started to walk away, and then she turned back. " I guess it would be too much to ask to get a phone call from you." She dropped him a hint. She hoped he picked up on it.

Alec sat back down. He had a whole other batch of thoughts to sort now.