Next comes the section where I acknowledge my small legion of readers (aka: ego boosting time! *bad gameshow music plays*)
Aseko
That is just SO sweet! *twinkles eyes* Kawaii ^_^ that is just SO cute and so sweet. Continue pleaze!
Thanks. I'm glad you liked chapter 4, and I hope you'll like this next part as well ^_^
Chisama
Bwahahaha....Maaan, if V-mon wasn't so innocent, he could have weaseled SOOOO much money out of Wormmon
Yes, but V-mon is cute and he wouldn't try to get money out of Wormmon...after all, what's mine is yours... >:)
allekto
i really like this story. you're an extremely talented writer, which has made this fic turn out to be very realistic and emotionally powerful. absolutely fantastic... plus i love all the notes you put at the end- helps me a learn a lot. good luck on finals and i hope you can update soon awterwards.
*blush* I'm honored you think that I'm a good writer...since I don't think so... (worships Empress and Kinslayer) but I try my best to make things realistic. Yea! Another person who likes my notes ^_^ Thanks for letting me know that my efforts are not in vain!
NiE
Wow...so much detail, thought, and well-put sentences. ^_^ Very nice. Its well written, and isn't very much ooc. And may I say, its one of the best Daisuke fics out there. *^^*
*blushes again* Thank you! Still wondering when you're going to put up your fics on ff.net so I can read more of them! ^_^
Disclaimer time: as if I really need to put another one up... :P
*WARNING* This chapter contains a little bit of intense swearing at the end of the chapter. However, it was done out of necessity. If you are easily offended by the f-word, I hope that you'll still read the paragraph since it is a very important and integral part of this chapter. Thank you.
So, to recap... Daisuke and Ken have now told their partners about their relationship, and it is now the next day...the day of the digidestined monthly picnic... How will the rest of the group take the news?...
Chapter 5: Truths
It was another nice day in the Digital World -- the sun was out, puffy clouds dotted the white splattered sky, and the breeze was just enough to bring the temperature to a nice sixty-five. But for a certain someone, he had little time to enjoy even this simple pleasure. Today was the day, and Daisuke had rehearsed his little speech all morning as he tried to convince himself that it was no big deal. Ken was right, he always was.
/I mean, look at Tai and Yamato...everyone seems to accept them... so it's just a little more with us, right...?/
V-mon was being his usual ball of energy as he and Daisuke walked towards the place where they were supposed to meet up with Ken and Wormmon. As they walked, the little blue digimon noticed the hesitation in his partner's steps.
"Daisuke, don't worry about it. Just have fun today. They're your friends. I'm sure they'll take it a lot better than you think." V-mon tried to cheer Daisuke up, and was succeeding to some extent when they spotted a patiently waiting Ken and Wormmon.
Daisuke felt a little better at seeing Ken, but at the same time, he couldn't help but feel like even more weight was settling on his shoulders. He knew how much this day meant to his beloved and more than anything, Daisuke wanted today to go well. He gave his boyfriend a loving hug as Ken held Daisuke close, gently rubbing his back. Ken pulled away a little to look Daisuke in the eyes as he whispered,
"I'll be right beside you, Daisuke. Whenever you're ready to tell them, I'll be there to take it with you."
"Thanks." Daisuke sighed and tried to release some stress. When Ken said things like that, how could he not have confidence to take this big step?
********************
"Hey, Daisuke! Ken! What took you guys so long?" Tai yelled half way across the clearing while waving like a madman. Daisuke and Ken continued to slowly saunter with their partners beside them towards the group, relishing the last bit of uninterrupted time they had left before Miyako dragged, or attempted to drag Ken away for the rest of the afternoon.
Yamato strolled up behind Tai during Daisuke and Ken's leisurely walk and calmed the hyperactive leader while using his shoulder as a headrest.
As the pair approached, Yamato simply tisked and said, as he nodded towards Daisuke, "Hey, better watch out, Ken. I think he's rubbing off on you! You're starting to show up late too now. Not a good sign. Next thing you know, Bam! You'll start wearing goggles and have spiky hair and..."
"Aww, knock it off Yama!" Tai gave Yamato a playful punch to the nose. "You hang around me all the time, and I don't see you playing soccer and having bushy hair..." Tai turned around and stuck his tongue out at Yamato.
"True enough." Yamato gave a little shrug. "Maybe I'm just resistant to your strange habits..."
"Hey!"
"...but I'm warning you, Ken. Watch out!" He winked at Ken and gave the younger digidestined a smirk.
Daisuke's face scrunched up in a show of pain. "Gee, thanks. You make me sound like some sort of infectious disease," he stated.
"Wow~! That was a pretty big word just now! Maybe Ken's rubbing off on him...hmm..." Yamato looked deep in thought for a second as Ken chuckled. "Maybe I should hang around him some more then!"
"Hey! Not you too, Ken!" Daisuke whined jokingly, but soon started to laugh along with the rest of them. "Well, maybe I just needed someone to bring out my hidden potential!"
"Then I guess I'm doing my job," Ken answered, though he knew that to only be a half truth, since Daisuke really was naturally smart in some things...
The four of them walked to what had to be the world's biggest picnic blanket. It had to be, since there were twelve digidestined and twelve digimon to account for. The most impressive part about this blanket, though, was that it was made completely from scratch and sewn entirely by hand. Well, most of it was anyway. The entire blanket was basically one giant quilt; each square told a part of their story, and nine of those squares, scattered around the quilt, contained a different crest.
Tai had come up with this idea after reading about American quilts online and thought that it would be a really neat way to remember all the things they had gone through. At first, he had wanted it to be a secret, but he soon realized that he couldn't sew... That's where Yamato came in. Tai had Yamato help him sew all the squares together, and Yamato embroidered each crest onto the quilt. Then they presented it to the group and had everyone draw what was most important to them in the square, leaving quite a number blank for future memories to come.
The older digidestined, for the most part, drew scenes from their story, with pictures of the Dark Masters, Whamon, Pixiemon, Tai's fight with Yamato, and other assorted pictures. Takeru even drew a picture of when Angemon fought Devimon and died. The younger digidestined drew pictures of events after the defeat of the Kaiser, as they felt uncomfortable bringing up something so troubling to one of their own. In addition to these, everyone had drawn their partner digimon in a giant collage in the middle of the quilt.
Daisuke had drawn two pictures. One of them was a picture of himself, receiving Tai's goggles, and the other was a picture of him with his arm slung around Ken's shoulder and a silly grin on his face while Ken looked mildly annoyed.
Oddly enough, Ken had also drawn two pictures. The first one was almost identical to Daisuke's, where Daisuke had his arm around his shoulder, but the second one was a picture of him as the Kaiser as he made Daisuke beg for the life of his "friends." He had felt that it was necessary to remember that because he believed that it shouldn't be forgotten. History repeats itself when it is forgotten. He also hoped that by drawing such a picture, he was letting the others know that it was ok for them to talk about that time, since Ken knew it wasn't something any of the others liked to mention.
All in all, it's quite the impressive blanket once it was "done," and the digidestined had used it every month since that day three years ago.
Takeru was sitting cross-legged at the edge of the blanket. As the four leaders walked by, he turned his head and looked up to say, "Hi" as Hikari waved hi from her position. Daisuke felt that familiar pang of jealousy... and something he couldn't figure out, let alone describe, as he looked down at Hikari, while she laid there with her head in Takeru's lap.
/What the...? This feeling.../
"Hi, Takeru, Hikari-chan," Daisuke answered back out of habit and walked on. Ken made a quick mental note of this as he said his own greeting back, and followed after Daisuke.
Tai and Yamato had stopped to give their siblings the required, "You two had better not be doing anything" talk as Daisuke caught Takeru's very loud statement of, "At least I'm not GAY like the two of you!", and then spotted Iori's eyebrow shift in response to that statement.
/Just perfect. This is just great.../
********************
The rest of the day went on, and other than that one statement from Takeru earlier and Iori's eyebrow quirk, Daisuke was feeling pretty good about their coming out announcement. He had a chance to play his rematch with Tai, and this time, Ken seemed to have actually been focused on the black and white ball. Also, Yamato had dragged him away for a bit and expressed concern for Ken, saying how Ken had asked him some "strange" questions a few days back. Miyako had hogged Ken to herself when he wasn't playing soccer as usual, and Tai and Yamato were inseparable.
It was approaching the time of day when the sun was setting, and all good students went home for the day to get ready for school the next day. Everyone had settled down around the giant blanket for a few last words, and Daisuke knew it was now or never.
He took another look around the circle as humans and digimon talked amongst themselves, waiting for Tai to call things to order. Directly opposite of himself was Tai, and to his left sat most of the male digidestined. Yamato was comfortably leaning his head on Tai's shoulder with his eyes closed, looking blissfully unaware of Tai's frustration at the group of girls and Takeru, who continued to gossip after he had asked for their attention. Miyako was busy making girlie eyes at a very uninterested Ken as Ken gave Daisuke a gentle smile and tried to reassure his boyfriend.
"Ok, girls. For the last time, can we please get this meeting going? I know we don't have much to worry about anymore, but it would be nice to at least see if anyone has anything important they want to announce......Hey! Are you guys listening?!?!...Arg!"
"Leave them alone, Tai, they're not going to shut up. It's true, we really don't have much to talk about as a group anymore you know..." Yamato grumbled into Tai's ear.
Tai continued to breathe. In and out. In and out...
"Uh, guys...I sorta have an announcement to make..." Daisuke meekly whispered. All at once, all the gossiping stopped and the chattering girls plus Takeru shifted their attention to Daisuke. Each person wondering why Daisuke was suddenly sounding so unsure of himself...
"Um..." The attentive faces of the others stared back at him. For once in his life, Daisuke wished that they wouldn't pay so much attention to his loud mouth. But it was too late for that now.
/...one last look, come on...you can do this. Take a deep breath, Daisuke. Breathe!/
The little cheering squad in his mind urged him on.
"Uh... I just wanted to say that you guys are the... uh... best friends I could've ever have."
/Ok, so far so good.../
"And, uh, I want you guys to share in my joys and sorrows, as I have shared in yours." Daisuke took a nervous glance towards his partner as the little blue digimon gave him a thumbs up, at Ken and Wormmon, and then at Tai.
"I...uh..."
"Go on," Tai urged with a worried look on his face. This was unusual for Daisuke. He usually never made such formal speeches...unless something really big was up.
Daisuke's final sweep around the circle approached Hikari and Takeru...
/No...not this...why?.../
...and never left them as he said:
"I...I...have a test tomorrow and I should really be gettinghomeokbye!"
Twenty-three pairs of eyes blinked in a unison of confusion as they followed the retreating figure of one equally confused Motomiya Daisuke.
********************
"Just what the fuck is your problem, Daisuke?!" ...and Daisuke knew that he was in a world of trouble. Ken, who is eternally patient and the bearer of Kindness, never cursed, and never with that word unless he was really, really peeved... or...
/Oh, gods...what have I done?... Please...oh gods.../
Ken had had it and he couldn't deal with it anymore. It wasn't just that Daisuke had left him alone to straighten out the mess and confusion he left behind, but that he had backed out and ran. After much apologizing and an awkward excuse that he had to make up on the spot, Ken had searched out his boyfriend, who he finally found sitting in the park, at their hang-out spot. All the trust and confidence he had in their relationship was already slipping away into the void of time, but what Daisuke had just done blew the last few grains of their salvaged relationship into the dark abyss. Unfortunately for both of them, that dark abyss was also the home of a certain being, sent there five years ago by a boy who thought it would surely die there.
And as the conversation escalated into an argument fueled by anger and frustration between the two youths, the creature reached to climb up... one arm, and then another... one inch, then another... until at last, it took its first breath of fresh air in five years.
Ken barely had time to recognize the creature...
/You!.../
...before he was taken over...
"You need to get the fuck over this, Daisuke. I will not stand to be your shadow, your little fucking secret as you fluctuate back and forth in your cowardliness! Live your life and have no regrets, or have you really turned into such a fucking little coward? You're bi? So what? So are thousands upon millions of other people in this world. You're in a gay relationship? Who cares? There are people just like you. You're so caught up in your fucking fears you can't even decide what you want anymore! Your heart wants me, but your brain's so fucked up that you'd take the coward's way out. You really want nothing more than to go out with a girl, don't you, you little fucker? You wouldn't have to face society and your parents if you did, am I correct? You're afraid that you're not really bi, that this could all be one big mistake -- a fluke, and that once you say it, you can't take it back -- that it'll brand you for the rest of your fucking life. Well, guess what? I had to fucking face my parents for us. I had to fucking keep my mouth shut and my hands off of you when we're with friends, and I'm the one who's had to sit and watch as you steered our fucked up relationship into a fucking dead end with fucking fear. I am so fucking sick of it!
"I will give you one month, Daisuke. Decide by then. I will await your answer. For both our sakes, I hope you answer me and yourself honestly."
And in a swirl and flare of a phantom purple cape, the Kaiser left a shattered and confused Daisuke on the green grass, never once looking back.
End Part I
Next time: A peek into their diaries...as Daisuke comes to a decision that will affect both of their lives...
Notes:
-Tai and Yamato in action! er... I think I may have made them a little too touchie-feelie with each other... hmmm... -_-;;
-Don't ask where the quilt idea came from... it just sorta came to me as I was writing... I guess I was thinking about activities or something (things to do/talk about when I'm teaching the junior high kids and the adult English conversation class), and I remembered that we made quilts when I was in elementary school... It's not that bad an idea though, but can you imagine how large that blanket must be?... o_0;;
-I know I said that each of the digidestined drew a pic of what was most important to them, and we all know that Osamu was the most important part of Ken's life, but I think that Ken would probably have not included a pic of Osamu since this is a quilt for all the digidestined, not just himself. It would just be too personal I think.
-Daisuke's initial feelings when he sees Takeru and Hikari... I think he would think that it was just the same old jealousy that he felt for her years ago, but this time, I think the real reason he's jealous is that he wishes he could have a "normal" life and relationship -- like he's jealous at how life seems so simple and acceptable to society for Takeru and Hikari. Takeru's also of no help when he makes socially accepted jokes about being gay (which just propagates more acceptance of these jokes), since Daisuke's in a precarious emotional state already... (something to keep in mind...I like to say that one should never assume that the default is that everyone is straight. You never know who you're insulting or hurting when you make jokes like that. And people wonder why it's so hard for people to come out...)
-Ah, Ken...he seems to be fitting in a little better, ne? ^_~
-And then, he chickens out. Well, like I said, Daisuke's still got a lot of issues to resolve with himself. I think he's beginning to understand that, and he will finally realize what the real reason for his jealousy is.
-The next whole section was interesting. Ken and Daisuke's relationship is in such a shamble that both of them have become the opposite of their crests. They're no longer happy, functioning people and have degraded to a point where their most inherent traits no longer hold. Daisuke's become a coward and has no faith in his friends, and Ken is now the cruel Kaiser again in his treatment of Daisuke.
-Ken's dark side is embodied as the Kaiser. I tried to point out that Ken doesn't get mad often, and that this is the first time in five years where he's gotten so upset that he lost his usual control over his darker self and it took over. Foreshadowed by the numerous mentions of the Kaiser in previous chapters, I guess I just wanted to show how much it would take for Ken to completely loose it.
-During Ken's rant, I know I used the word fuck a lot. I couldn't really come up with anything else that was that powerful sounding, and conveyed how much of a difference there is between Ken and the Kaiser. Like I said in my warning, I hope I didn't offend anyone... -_-
-The painful truths are finally said, and Daisuke's going to have to deal with this problem now. Before, it was like they both didn't want to say it, and it was almost like, "if I ignore it, it'll go away..." but now, Ken knows it won't, and he's put up an ultimatum. We'll see how Daisuke ends up dealing with all this now that he doesn't have a choice.