CHAPTER: Scenario
" Who did you fall for that you
couldn't have. As far a I can see there's always a beeline of girls falling
at your feet."
The opportunity presented it self and
he decided to go for it. He closed his eyes to help him calm his nerves as he
said it. " You." Silence flooded the other side of the line.
She must have heard wrong, she could
have sworn she heard him say that he fell for her. " What did you say?"
He wanted so badly to take it back. He
could save himself. But he knew that of he did it would haunt him for the fest
of his life. " I said I fell for you?"
The air drained out of her lungs. She
didn't know what to say. Why would he do that? " Alec, I don't know what
you mean…"
He whished he could see her face so he
could tell what she was thinking. He was going to explain himself with a huge
chance of rejection. He had to close his eyes as he said this. " I always had daydream.
I would be sitting at home not really doing anything and then I'd hear a knock
on the door. I'd go to it. When I answer it you would be standing there. Then
you would walk to the couch and we'll sit down for a while. Then you'd move
from next to me and sit on the coffee table, directly facing me. Then you'd
take my hand in yours." He took a deep breath because he knew that was the
hard part to tell. " Then you'd look up at me, and say ' Alec let's give
this love thing a try.' And of course I would be really shocked but eventually
that would wear off and next I'd say 'yeah, let's do that.' And it would
be the most amazing feeling of completion I ever felt, then I'll whisper in a
gasp of air, 'I love you Max."
Max felt her heart skip a beat. She
didn't know that Alec thought so much. She didn't know that he was in love
with her. She suddenly realized that she didn't know much about what he felt
at all. She never asked him how he felt about anything until then. " When did
you start to think like that?"
Ah. . . yes speech. What he was waiting
for. He was still nervous but to a lesser extend. " When Zack came I realized
I was jealous and I had to ask myself why."
She didn't think he was jealous at
any point. Then again she always had problems seeing things with him. " So
that's why you agreed to help me?"
Why couldn't she give him something
more? Something that indicated what she was thinking. " I helped you because
you looked hurt and I didn't want to see you like that."
She remembered all the time they spent
together, even when Logan wasn't looking. She recalled the various times they
kissed to make Logan jealous. " So, you weren't faking huh?"
" No, not really."
Knowing that he would want an answer
eventually she decided to say something. " I don't know what to say?"
He didn't want her to feel obligated
to return his daring proposal. That was the last thing he wanted. " There's
an alternative, do you want to hear it?"
She said a small, " yeah."
" What happens is I tell you how I
feel and you don't feel the same way. But the thing is we just act like it
never happened and we go back to what we were before the whole thing. And I'll
be okay with that."
" It's so different form the first
one?" She didn't want to go back to what they were before. They weren't
much. Now they had something. But she couldn't ignore the fact that she had
something with Logan too. She waited a whole two years to be with Logan, how
could she just leave that behind. She loved Alec but she wasn't sure to what
extend; if as a friend or something more. Alec was great in his ways, like how
he always considered her feelings and how he never made her feel like being any
one but herself. She loved spending time with him; they had so much fun
together. From their long conversations on the phone to just hanging around
watching TV.
" Which scenario do you prefer
Max?"
She had reached a point where she
didn't know who to choose. Logan, the one she had been waiting for or Alec the
one who was waiting for her. " Alec I'm sorry—but I can't."
He knew it was coming. She took to long
too answer. He decided long before that he wasn't going to overreact about
this. " It's okay."
" You understand, don't you?"
" Yeah, I understand." He was
trying his best to sound normal. But he could feel a lump in his throat. He
hated when that happened. He wanted to get off the phone quickly before she
noticed. " I'll talk to you in the morning."
Max knew that the calm voice he was
putting on was not the case at his apartment. She knew it would only hurt more
if she just stayed on the line. " Okay, in the morning."
" Bye Max." he hung up the phone
and looked at it for a while after. He had an urge to throw it at the wall. He
got up from his bed and went to the kitchen.
He needed something to set his mind off
it, anything. He found a bottle of scotch and got himself a glass. He didn't
even know why he bothered with it. He knew he couldn't get drunk but every
time he would just start to drink. Why? What was he doing to himself?
He walked to sink and spat it out. He
wanted a different way out. He'd forget about her the long painful way. He
took the bottle of scotch and threw it in the bin. He went back to his bedroom
and went to his bed. He would cry this one out instead of drinking it out.
