Trigun Attacks.. Pokemon an anime-parody by AngelDragon
Disclaimer: I'd love to own Trigun.. But I don't. (Figures .) And I don't own any products I mention, either. But I *do* own this parody series.
Warnings/Notes: 0.o Ack! Gomen for the lack of updating, the holidays are driving me nuts! (Haven't decided yet if this is a good thing or not!) The usual warnings to this bizarre cousin of Excel Saga apply; they get violent w/each other & colorful, rampant curses are sometimes thrown around (along w/various objects ^^) And of course, some shonen-ai thrown in for good measure, between Vash-chan & Nicky-chan. Enjoy & review, onegai?
Weird Quote of the Day: "I am the rightful heir to the flaming global throne of evil. I WILL TAKE THIS WORLD AS MINE.. So if you people could just cooperate, it would be very nice." - Jhonen Vasquez (I thought this sorta applied to Knives-sama, kawaii little psycho-environmental activist that he is ^^) Current Songs in My Head: 'Learn to Fly' by the Foo Fighters & 'I'm Still Here' by John Rzeznik (of the Goo Goo Dolls)
Also: Does Knives have issues? Um, yeah, I think it's pretty obvious! ^^;
This is for Braided Baka Girl & Ale-Bloody-Roses (Arigato for the interesting ideas!)
Trigun Attacks.. Pokemon
(Vash & Wolfwood appear on the 'White Screen of PainTM' yet again)
Vash: Looks like we get to play again, Nick.
Wolf: (Muttering) Depends on what you mean by 'play' Tongari. Just when I thought it was safe to relax for the holidays.. (Looks down when his foot bumps something) Nanio? Now this is odd. (Picks up the oddity, a pink bunny plushie) Is this Milly's or something?
Vash: Um, I think you oughta put that back before -
(Sounds of creative cursing too graphic for this PG-13 rating are coming from off- screen as a familiar evil twin bishonen appears)
Knives: Alright now dammit! WHO THE HELL TOOK KUMA?! (Looks at Wolf w/a twitchy brow) Give him back now or so help me, I'll Angel Arm your ass into next week!!
Wolf: (Sweatdrops & looks to Vash as he holds up the plushie) 'Kuma', I take it? (Vash nods in response)
(Knives stalks over to yank the bunny from the bokushi & snuggles it saying, "Did the big bad Wolfwood hurt you, Kuma-chan?" Wolf's brow twitches at the old nickname)
Knives: Angel-san, aren't we doing something special today?
Author: Yep. Thanks to your kawaii little plushie friend.
(Script drops in Knives' hand & Vash looks pouty)
Vash: (Teary-eyed) B - but Angel-san..
Author: C'mon now Vash-chan, I still love you! Knives-sama & Ale-san wanted him to play the main chara for a change, that's all. And you know how convincing your sib can be, ne?
Vash: Okay, I guess.. (Sighs as Wolf pats him on the back and says, "Well, it was bound to happen, Tongari.") So what is it this time?
Knives: (Giggles as he flips through the script) 'Pokemon', Vashu. This oughta be good and weird!
Author: And there are special players, too. No real *plot* but entertaining anyway.
Wolf: Is this a good time to be occupied elsewhere?
Knives: Put a cork in it, Wolf-boy! This is *my* playtime! Lemme see.. I'm Satoshi, Vashu is Takeshi and *you're* a gym leader named Falkner.
(Meryl & Legato show up, Meryl's pissy again & Leggy-kun's gnawing on some candy)
Meryl: KAMI-SAMA! This is what I get for being friends with weirdos! (Sighs) I knew I should've gone on vacation with Milly!
Legato: (Around crunching his treat) Story-Mistress! Arigato for the candy canes! (Has a slightly creepy happy look on his face)
Author: No prob, Legato-chan. Early Christmas gift. We're still two chara short, though.
Meryl: I didn't get any!
Wolf: (Snickering) With *that* attitude, I'm not surprised! (Vash & Knives are having trouble keeping straight faces. Meryl gives them all an Electric Glare-of-Death yelling, "NANI?!")
Knives: (Giggling) Nothing at all.. (Flips through script) Okay, Legato is gym leader Koga; dateless frigid spider girl is Kasumi. (Meryl flips him off saying, "I don't even wanna know what *you* get!")
(Everyone changes to appropriate costumes and/or dyes their hair & the last two players appear)
Dominique: Alright, are we hallucinating or dreaming?
Zazie: (Gawks at Meryl in her Kasumi outfit like a typical boy) If we are, don't anyone wake me up!
Knives: There you guys are! It's not nice to keep me waiting.. (Checks script again) Dominique, you're gym leader Sabrina, Zazie; you're gym leader Bugsy. (Snickers) Oh this is just *too* funny! (Our two additions are now in costume)
Dominique: (Sighs) Just lovely. The groping blonde outlaw and the smartass bokushi. This isn't a dream; it's a nightmare!
Zazie: (Cozies up to Meryl, who has a twitchy brow) For *you* maybe. Seems like a damn good dream to me!
Wolf: Can we get on with this? And can I even ask just what the hell we're 'fighting' with?
Author: Plushies! Knives-sama needs to defeat the gym leaders and get their halves of the coins in his case.
Vash: Plushies? Angel-san, have you been up too late again?
Knives: Vashu, don't spoil my fun! Kuma will be angry! (Brandishes the bunny & the cast sweatdrops)
Wolf: What'd they put in your cornflakes this morning? Jeez. So what's the deal, anyway?
(Plushies drop into appropriate chara's hands: Wolf gets a thomas, Vash gets a kitsune, Meryl gets a koi, Zazie gets a sandworm, Dominique gets a scary looking bunny-thing w/one big, freaky eye (Like in Vampire Princess Miyu), Legato gets a Kuroneko & Knives of course keeps Kuma)
Meryl: Am I the only person here who thinks this is the most totally inane and pointless one we've done yet?
Wolf: I hate to admit it, but I agree with the carrot-haired cutoff girl.
Author: *That's* the point, Nicky-chan. It's Knives-sama's turn to be the main character and he wanted a part for Kuma.
(Scenery changes to the inside of a Pokemon Gym, w/stands & everything)
Dominique: So, what do we do now?
Knives: (Flips through script) Heh heh. I take each of you gym leaders out, that's what! And Kuma will kick serious plushie ass, right Kuma-chan? (Pets & hugs the plushie. Meryl & Wolf mutter, "Oh brother!" as the others sweatdrop)
Vash: Um, okay then Knivesu, er, 'Satoshi'. Since you're the only one challenging them, 'Kasumi' and I are just gonna go sit this one out. (The aforementioned pair parks it in the front row of the stands)
Knives: Yosh! Let's have the first victim, shall we? (Legato steps up, considers Knives & Kuma for a moment then shrugs, reaches into a pocket & hands him his coin half without a fight. Dominique, Zazie & Wolf facefault)
Wolf: Um, did I miss something?
Dominique: What was the point of that?
Legato: I won't fight against Master. Gomen, Story-Mistress. If you're smart, the rest of you won't either. (Glares at them in warning before going to sit in the stands w/Vash & Meryl. Vash warily shares popcorn w/him)
Author: I understand, Lego-toy. You can keep the plushie if you like cutie. (Legato nods his thanks & Vash regards him out of the corner of his eye, holding his kitsune away from him)
Wolf: (Sweatdrops) I *knew* I should've left when I had the chance!
Knives: You're next, 'Falkner'. (Wolf steps up, brandishing the thomas plushie)
Wolf: Now what?
Author: Special effects, Nicky-chan. I ran over budget, so you'll just have to make do with what's in your pants. (Vash practically chokes on his popcorn, Meryl thumps him on the back while Leggy-kun relieves him of the box. Knives, Dominique & Zazie snicker)
Wolf: (Blushes) URUSAI!! Angel-san, you can't *possibly* mean -!
Author: (Giggles) I meant your *pockets*! Honestly Nicky, you've got such an ecchi little mind! The rest of you, your effects are in your pockets, too.
(Wolf pulls out a Japanese fan w/a raised brow)
Wolf: And I'm doing what with this?
Knives: You're slow on the uptake today. Fan Kuma with an attack, baka! (Wolf obliges, a blank look on his face as he sarcastically says, "Ooo, look at that 'Whirlwind' attack!")
Knives: My turn! (Takes out a few shuriken (Throwing stars) & hurls 'em at Wolf's thomas. Wolf 'eep!'s & misses getting spiked, but his plushie isn't so lucky) Hah! That was Kuma's 'Swift' attack! Hand it over, your plushie's so much stuffed KFC now!
(Wolf, scowling but relieved that it's over, hands him his coin half & joins the others in the stands. Dominique steps up next, holding out her creepy bunny)
Dominique: This is the most bizarre experience of my life. (Takes out a flashlight w/a raised brow) Oookay, whatever. (Clicks it on at Kuma as Knives grins maniacally)
Knives: HAH! Your bunny-from-Hell's 'Psybeam' isn't enough to take down my Kuma-chan! (Pulls out an exaggerated mallet & takes a swing at Dominique's bunny. It's currently orbiting the Fifth moon now)
Dominique: (Sweatdropping) What the hell was THAT?!
Knives: (Giggles & hugs his bunny) That was Kuma's 'Headbutt' attack. (Holds out his hand) Houston, we have a bunny problem! (Dominique rolls her eyes & hands him her coin half, then goes to the stands muttering, "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that cold pizza for dinner.." Zazie's turn now & he swallows nervously, holding up his sandworm plushie)
Zazie: I have a bad feeling about this.. (Looks to the others) Hey, I think I need a hand you guys!
(The five spectators look up from their card game for a sec then set their hands down before clapping for him. Zazie facefaults and yells, "NOT THAT KINDA HAND YOU BAKAS!!" They look at each other, shrug and continue their game. Zazie spouts copious curses at them w/a throbby vein)
Knives: Hey, bug-boy! Your time's up! (Holds Kuma & moves his little paw while he talks through him in a childish voice) "Kuma-chan wants to go fishing! Guess who's the bait?"
Zazie: (Sweatdrops) Oh Kami! I'm gonna die before I finish puberty! (Reluctantly pulls out a can of silly string) The hell?! (Shrugs & sprays it at Kuma)
Knives: (Snorts in contempt as he brushes the stuff off Kuma) How pathetic! Your sandworm's 'Stringshot' isn't gonna prevent this! (Pulls out something that looks like a mini garden rake - only w/razor sharp blades where the harmless rake prongs should be. He slashes at the plushie, Zazie almost passes out)
Zazie: (Teary-eyed) 'Kaasaaan!
Knives: (Squeezing Kuma) I win, I win! That was Kuma's 'Slash' attack! Say 'bye bye' to your nightcrawler, shonen! (Zazie, sniffling, hands over the last coin half & goes to the stands. Knives happily puts the halves he won w/their mates in his case before going to join the others) Arigato for letting Kuma and I play, Angel-san!
Author: You're quite welcome, Knives-sama. Zazie-chan, relax! I'll give you a new toy. (Said replacement sandworm is now in Zazie's hands, who hugs the odd looking plushie)
Vash: Er, Angel-san? I think it's that time again.. (Legato's pestering Wolf w/his Kuroneko plushie, Meryl's fuming because Zazie keeps asking, "So what happened to your chest?" Dominique is falling asleep sitting up & Knives is coloring w/Kuma)
Author: (Sighs) Yep. That it is, Vash-chan... (Everyone is back in his or her 'normal' clothes) Go party guys. Bring me back something cool?
Vash: Arigato Angel-san! And I promise I will! (Pulls a rapidly-getting- pissed Wolf with him, after Legato whomps his head w/his Kuroneko, to keep him from becoming Nicky-origami)
(And so, Dominique wanders off to bed, Meryl threatens to make sure Zazie really *doesn't* live to see the rest of puberty & since Wolf & Vash are out making asses of themselves at a bar, Legato & his Kuro sit down to color w/Knives & Kuma. They have a pretty good time making fun of Meryl & Wolf. And they may have been Crayola'd, but not all of those scribbles were rated 'G'! )
*OWARI*
Long, ne? Gomen! I read the rest of the Trigun manga & got the idea for the coin halves from that. For a better explanation of how Knives got Kuma, see Ch. 4 of 'Adventures of Vash the (mini) Stampede'. (Forgive the shameless plug, onegai?) And since I received so many great reviews & requests, I'm gonna catch up on those first before asking for more, if you guys don't mind? Don't worry, I have no intention of quitting this series! These just take a while to write sometimes, that's all. Arigato for reading & ja ne, minnasan! ^_^
Disclaimer: I'd love to own Trigun.. But I don't. (Figures .) And I don't own any products I mention, either. But I *do* own this parody series.
Warnings/Notes: 0.o Ack! Gomen for the lack of updating, the holidays are driving me nuts! (Haven't decided yet if this is a good thing or not!) The usual warnings to this bizarre cousin of Excel Saga apply; they get violent w/each other & colorful, rampant curses are sometimes thrown around (along w/various objects ^^) And of course, some shonen-ai thrown in for good measure, between Vash-chan & Nicky-chan. Enjoy & review, onegai?
Weird Quote of the Day: "I am the rightful heir to the flaming global throne of evil. I WILL TAKE THIS WORLD AS MINE.. So if you people could just cooperate, it would be very nice." - Jhonen Vasquez (I thought this sorta applied to Knives-sama, kawaii little psycho-environmental activist that he is ^^) Current Songs in My Head: 'Learn to Fly' by the Foo Fighters & 'I'm Still Here' by John Rzeznik (of the Goo Goo Dolls)
Also: Does Knives have issues? Um, yeah, I think it's pretty obvious! ^^;
This is for Braided Baka Girl & Ale-Bloody-Roses (Arigato for the interesting ideas!)
Trigun Attacks.. Pokemon
(Vash & Wolfwood appear on the 'White Screen of PainTM' yet again)
Vash: Looks like we get to play again, Nick.
Wolf: (Muttering) Depends on what you mean by 'play' Tongari. Just when I thought it was safe to relax for the holidays.. (Looks down when his foot bumps something) Nanio? Now this is odd. (Picks up the oddity, a pink bunny plushie) Is this Milly's or something?
Vash: Um, I think you oughta put that back before -
(Sounds of creative cursing too graphic for this PG-13 rating are coming from off- screen as a familiar evil twin bishonen appears)
Knives: Alright now dammit! WHO THE HELL TOOK KUMA?! (Looks at Wolf w/a twitchy brow) Give him back now or so help me, I'll Angel Arm your ass into next week!!
Wolf: (Sweatdrops & looks to Vash as he holds up the plushie) 'Kuma', I take it? (Vash nods in response)
(Knives stalks over to yank the bunny from the bokushi & snuggles it saying, "Did the big bad Wolfwood hurt you, Kuma-chan?" Wolf's brow twitches at the old nickname)
Knives: Angel-san, aren't we doing something special today?
Author: Yep. Thanks to your kawaii little plushie friend.
(Script drops in Knives' hand & Vash looks pouty)
Vash: (Teary-eyed) B - but Angel-san..
Author: C'mon now Vash-chan, I still love you! Knives-sama & Ale-san wanted him to play the main chara for a change, that's all. And you know how convincing your sib can be, ne?
Vash: Okay, I guess.. (Sighs as Wolf pats him on the back and says, "Well, it was bound to happen, Tongari.") So what is it this time?
Knives: (Giggles as he flips through the script) 'Pokemon', Vashu. This oughta be good and weird!
Author: And there are special players, too. No real *plot* but entertaining anyway.
Wolf: Is this a good time to be occupied elsewhere?
Knives: Put a cork in it, Wolf-boy! This is *my* playtime! Lemme see.. I'm Satoshi, Vashu is Takeshi and *you're* a gym leader named Falkner.
(Meryl & Legato show up, Meryl's pissy again & Leggy-kun's gnawing on some candy)
Meryl: KAMI-SAMA! This is what I get for being friends with weirdos! (Sighs) I knew I should've gone on vacation with Milly!
Legato: (Around crunching his treat) Story-Mistress! Arigato for the candy canes! (Has a slightly creepy happy look on his face)
Author: No prob, Legato-chan. Early Christmas gift. We're still two chara short, though.
Meryl: I didn't get any!
Wolf: (Snickering) With *that* attitude, I'm not surprised! (Vash & Knives are having trouble keeping straight faces. Meryl gives them all an Electric Glare-of-Death yelling, "NANI?!")
Knives: (Giggling) Nothing at all.. (Flips through script) Okay, Legato is gym leader Koga; dateless frigid spider girl is Kasumi. (Meryl flips him off saying, "I don't even wanna know what *you* get!")
(Everyone changes to appropriate costumes and/or dyes their hair & the last two players appear)
Dominique: Alright, are we hallucinating or dreaming?
Zazie: (Gawks at Meryl in her Kasumi outfit like a typical boy) If we are, don't anyone wake me up!
Knives: There you guys are! It's not nice to keep me waiting.. (Checks script again) Dominique, you're gym leader Sabrina, Zazie; you're gym leader Bugsy. (Snickers) Oh this is just *too* funny! (Our two additions are now in costume)
Dominique: (Sighs) Just lovely. The groping blonde outlaw and the smartass bokushi. This isn't a dream; it's a nightmare!
Zazie: (Cozies up to Meryl, who has a twitchy brow) For *you* maybe. Seems like a damn good dream to me!
Wolf: Can we get on with this? And can I even ask just what the hell we're 'fighting' with?
Author: Plushies! Knives-sama needs to defeat the gym leaders and get their halves of the coins in his case.
Vash: Plushies? Angel-san, have you been up too late again?
Knives: Vashu, don't spoil my fun! Kuma will be angry! (Brandishes the bunny & the cast sweatdrops)
Wolf: What'd they put in your cornflakes this morning? Jeez. So what's the deal, anyway?
(Plushies drop into appropriate chara's hands: Wolf gets a thomas, Vash gets a kitsune, Meryl gets a koi, Zazie gets a sandworm, Dominique gets a scary looking bunny-thing w/one big, freaky eye (Like in Vampire Princess Miyu), Legato gets a Kuroneko & Knives of course keeps Kuma)
Meryl: Am I the only person here who thinks this is the most totally inane and pointless one we've done yet?
Wolf: I hate to admit it, but I agree with the carrot-haired cutoff girl.
Author: *That's* the point, Nicky-chan. It's Knives-sama's turn to be the main character and he wanted a part for Kuma.
(Scenery changes to the inside of a Pokemon Gym, w/stands & everything)
Dominique: So, what do we do now?
Knives: (Flips through script) Heh heh. I take each of you gym leaders out, that's what! And Kuma will kick serious plushie ass, right Kuma-chan? (Pets & hugs the plushie. Meryl & Wolf mutter, "Oh brother!" as the others sweatdrop)
Vash: Um, okay then Knivesu, er, 'Satoshi'. Since you're the only one challenging them, 'Kasumi' and I are just gonna go sit this one out. (The aforementioned pair parks it in the front row of the stands)
Knives: Yosh! Let's have the first victim, shall we? (Legato steps up, considers Knives & Kuma for a moment then shrugs, reaches into a pocket & hands him his coin half without a fight. Dominique, Zazie & Wolf facefault)
Wolf: Um, did I miss something?
Dominique: What was the point of that?
Legato: I won't fight against Master. Gomen, Story-Mistress. If you're smart, the rest of you won't either. (Glares at them in warning before going to sit in the stands w/Vash & Meryl. Vash warily shares popcorn w/him)
Author: I understand, Lego-toy. You can keep the plushie if you like cutie. (Legato nods his thanks & Vash regards him out of the corner of his eye, holding his kitsune away from him)
Wolf: (Sweatdrops) I *knew* I should've left when I had the chance!
Knives: You're next, 'Falkner'. (Wolf steps up, brandishing the thomas plushie)
Wolf: Now what?
Author: Special effects, Nicky-chan. I ran over budget, so you'll just have to make do with what's in your pants. (Vash practically chokes on his popcorn, Meryl thumps him on the back while Leggy-kun relieves him of the box. Knives, Dominique & Zazie snicker)
Wolf: (Blushes) URUSAI!! Angel-san, you can't *possibly* mean -!
Author: (Giggles) I meant your *pockets*! Honestly Nicky, you've got such an ecchi little mind! The rest of you, your effects are in your pockets, too.
(Wolf pulls out a Japanese fan w/a raised brow)
Wolf: And I'm doing what with this?
Knives: You're slow on the uptake today. Fan Kuma with an attack, baka! (Wolf obliges, a blank look on his face as he sarcastically says, "Ooo, look at that 'Whirlwind' attack!")
Knives: My turn! (Takes out a few shuriken (Throwing stars) & hurls 'em at Wolf's thomas. Wolf 'eep!'s & misses getting spiked, but his plushie isn't so lucky) Hah! That was Kuma's 'Swift' attack! Hand it over, your plushie's so much stuffed KFC now!
(Wolf, scowling but relieved that it's over, hands him his coin half & joins the others in the stands. Dominique steps up next, holding out her creepy bunny)
Dominique: This is the most bizarre experience of my life. (Takes out a flashlight w/a raised brow) Oookay, whatever. (Clicks it on at Kuma as Knives grins maniacally)
Knives: HAH! Your bunny-from-Hell's 'Psybeam' isn't enough to take down my Kuma-chan! (Pulls out an exaggerated mallet & takes a swing at Dominique's bunny. It's currently orbiting the Fifth moon now)
Dominique: (Sweatdropping) What the hell was THAT?!
Knives: (Giggles & hugs his bunny) That was Kuma's 'Headbutt' attack. (Holds out his hand) Houston, we have a bunny problem! (Dominique rolls her eyes & hands him her coin half, then goes to the stands muttering, "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that cold pizza for dinner.." Zazie's turn now & he swallows nervously, holding up his sandworm plushie)
Zazie: I have a bad feeling about this.. (Looks to the others) Hey, I think I need a hand you guys!
(The five spectators look up from their card game for a sec then set their hands down before clapping for him. Zazie facefaults and yells, "NOT THAT KINDA HAND YOU BAKAS!!" They look at each other, shrug and continue their game. Zazie spouts copious curses at them w/a throbby vein)
Knives: Hey, bug-boy! Your time's up! (Holds Kuma & moves his little paw while he talks through him in a childish voice) "Kuma-chan wants to go fishing! Guess who's the bait?"
Zazie: (Sweatdrops) Oh Kami! I'm gonna die before I finish puberty! (Reluctantly pulls out a can of silly string) The hell?! (Shrugs & sprays it at Kuma)
Knives: (Snorts in contempt as he brushes the stuff off Kuma) How pathetic! Your sandworm's 'Stringshot' isn't gonna prevent this! (Pulls out something that looks like a mini garden rake - only w/razor sharp blades where the harmless rake prongs should be. He slashes at the plushie, Zazie almost passes out)
Zazie: (Teary-eyed) 'Kaasaaan!
Knives: (Squeezing Kuma) I win, I win! That was Kuma's 'Slash' attack! Say 'bye bye' to your nightcrawler, shonen! (Zazie, sniffling, hands over the last coin half & goes to the stands. Knives happily puts the halves he won w/their mates in his case before going to join the others) Arigato for letting Kuma and I play, Angel-san!
Author: You're quite welcome, Knives-sama. Zazie-chan, relax! I'll give you a new toy. (Said replacement sandworm is now in Zazie's hands, who hugs the odd looking plushie)
Vash: Er, Angel-san? I think it's that time again.. (Legato's pestering Wolf w/his Kuroneko plushie, Meryl's fuming because Zazie keeps asking, "So what happened to your chest?" Dominique is falling asleep sitting up & Knives is coloring w/Kuma)
Author: (Sighs) Yep. That it is, Vash-chan... (Everyone is back in his or her 'normal' clothes) Go party guys. Bring me back something cool?
Vash: Arigato Angel-san! And I promise I will! (Pulls a rapidly-getting- pissed Wolf with him, after Legato whomps his head w/his Kuroneko, to keep him from becoming Nicky-origami)
(And so, Dominique wanders off to bed, Meryl threatens to make sure Zazie really *doesn't* live to see the rest of puberty & since Wolf & Vash are out making asses of themselves at a bar, Legato & his Kuro sit down to color w/Knives & Kuma. They have a pretty good time making fun of Meryl & Wolf. And they may have been Crayola'd, but not all of those scribbles were rated 'G'! )
*OWARI*
Long, ne? Gomen! I read the rest of the Trigun manga & got the idea for the coin halves from that. For a better explanation of how Knives got Kuma, see Ch. 4 of 'Adventures of Vash the (mini) Stampede'. (Forgive the shameless plug, onegai?) And since I received so many great reviews & requests, I'm gonna catch up on those first before asking for more, if you guys don't mind? Don't worry, I have no intention of quitting this series! These just take a while to write sometimes, that's all. Arigato for reading & ja ne, minnasan! ^_^