A/N: *sigh* Well, no one deemed my first effort good enough to review…. Well, if I don't get any reviews I might as well stop writing this fic. If you like it, please let me know by leaving a review!!!!

DISCLAIMER: Everything Labyrinth belongs to Henson Productions and Everything LotR belongs to Tolkein Enterprises. Please enjoy this piece of craziness.

Boromir: The New Captain of the Royal Guard

Ch. 2 I'm Not as Thunk as You Drink, Occifer….

Boromir walked towards the fountain, a roll of parchment in hand containing the roster. As he reached the fountain, the group of goblins gathered around him. He cleared his throat.

"My name is Boromir, and I am your new Captain. Since I don't know any of you, I will start a roll call. When you hear your name, say present."

"Grum?"

"Present"

"Krunk?"

"Present"

"Bheula?"

He waits for a few seconds and nothing.

"Bheula?"

Nothing.

"Bheula?"

"Bheula?"

"Bheula?"

"Bheula?"

"Bheula?"

"Bheula?"

Then a pink-haired goblin, a girl goblin for all he could see, stepped forward.

"He's in the Bog of Eternal Stench. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who saw Bheula piss-off the Goblin King last night. The King threw him into the BOES. I guess it's pretty serious."

A little glazed-eyed by that long explanation, Boromir shook his head.

"Thank you…"

"It's Candy, sir. I'm Sweetie's sister."

"Ah. Thank you, Candy."

He continued doing his roll call, making sure the troop was all present, previous exception notwithstanding. As he was finished, he addressed the goblins.

"Today you will practice so I know your strengths and your weaknesses. I have set up some dummies into the practice grounds. Are there any questions?"

A voice was heard.

"Yeah. We have practice grounds?"

Arching an eyebrow, Boromir just shook his head.

"Just follow me."

The goblins soon followed their captain to an open space where there were dummies on top of some wooden bases serving as horses. Boromir stopped and turned, facing the group of goblins behind him.

He pointed to the creatures that served as horses to the goblins. There were ten of the creatures saddled and ready to be mounted grazing lazily.

"I will test ten of you at a time. You will mount the draglets and take a spear. Your objective is to attack and dismount the dummies without falling of your mount. The first group will mount now."

As Boromir gave the order, the first group of goblins went on the offensive. A loud crash of metal could be heard. All the dummies were intact while the goblins were on the floor, struggling to get up. After blinking for a few seconds, Boromir hoped that things couldn't get worse than this.

After seeing the goblins crash against the dummies one more time, Dummies - 5 Goblins - 0, Boromir rolled his eyes and looked to the sky.

"Why me?"

This was going to be a very long day indeed.

Norma was curled up in a chair inside the goblin king's study, reading a book about the goblin rebellion of 1549. She was fighting to keep her eyes open.

"Why does he insist I need to know this, is beyond me."

A cloud of glitter appeared in front of her at that moment.

"Because my dear, if you are going to be taking my place as monarch, you better understand the errors of the past so you don't repeat them. Besides, I think is time you take a little break."

He waved a piece of parchment as he finished his speech. Recognizing the parchment, Norma stood up and went towards her fae godfather.

"Oooo… Pool's done! I want to see! Hmmmm… Hoggle put two days, the Wise Man has it for five days, Willum has a month, Sir Didymus has none… None?"

Norma looked back at her uncle, curiosity etched in her features.

Jareth sighed.

"Apparently he is convinced Boromir will never give up."

"I sure hope so. The goblins can make anyone go bonkers, including you, dear uncle."

"I know. Come, is time for your geography lesson."

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A/N: Well? What you think? Your reviews is what keeps me going, so I would love to hear from you letting me know if you liked this or if it sucked big time, so

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