Angela had thought that getting divorced would be the worst thing in the world.
It hadn't been. There'd been moments that were the worst, the screaming matches, the throwing things, the not having anywhere to live. The wondering what she was going to do with her life if she wasn't a wife and mother, what kind of jobs would take someone her age with no work experience, wondering why she hadn't insisted Frank pay into her 401.
But Maura posed the offer to house Angela for free as a favour to Maura. She'd framed it as needing to have someone keep an eye on Bass and her house, since she worked such awkward hours. Angela wasn't a fool, and she knew charity when she saw it, but Maura couldn't lie so she must have been genuine in her offer in some capacity. So she accepted. And from there on it just got better and better. A job, with people, Jane coming around almost every night. No more yelling, and someone who actually thanked her for making dinner - which Angela did with pleasure, just to see the demure, pleased smile on Maura's face when she did. She'd never seen someone so uncertain of affection, and Angela nearly threw her back out trying not to shower it all on her at once. Let it soak in, day by day, meal by meal. Maura was a little angel, in comparison to her three hellions.
Angela never saw Jane on her own any more, though. Not at work, not at home, not whenever they arranged something somewhere else. Maura was always beside her, always taking the seat next to her, Jane was always opening doors for her and sliding in next to her on the couch. They might as well have been attached. Angela had never seen anyone else who could put up with so much of Jane, and had never seen Jane so atypically patient for anyone else.
So when Angela heard Jane being sarcastic to Maura one night, she hauled her into the guest house for a lecture.
"I know you never wanted to take after me, but I know you don't want to take after Frank either," Angela said, turning on Jane with her jaw set.
"I was just saying that Bass doesn't need a new holiday outfit since he didn't wear his Halloween costume last year," Jane said, baffled. "He can just wear it this year. It's not like it went out of fashion in the last year." Angela grabbed a teatowel and swatted at Jane with it.
"Don't talk to her like that. In that tone. She deserves better. I deserved better." Angela saw Jane connect the dots, saw Jane's concern, her compassion rise to the surface. Jane never said she loved anyone, but she did, more deeply and more thoroughly than anyone else Angela had ever known. Angela knew that if anything happened to her, Jane would hunt down and end whoever caused it. She saw how Jane's fingers twitched by her sidearm when Frank came home. She knew Jane wished she'd done more, that she'd protected Angela from the harsh words of her father. She knew how Angela saw how Jane had been speaking to Maura, and she knew how it must have sounded.
"You did, Ma. But I'm not Pop, and Maura's not you. And Maura knows I'm just playing."
"But you treat her like..." Angela trailed off. She'd wondered for a while if Jane had noticed how close she and Maura were. If she knew Constance had assumed Jane was her daughter's girlfriend, and that nothing Angela had said had been enough to convince her otherwise. Angela had always wanted Jane to get married, be happy with a family, because that was what she thought women were supposed to want, supposed to want for their children too. But now, being divorced, being finally free - no yelling, no brick wall of emotional distance to bang against, she was finally happy. She loved her kids, wouldn't change that for the world. They were her whole heart, the four of them and TJ. And at some point she had loved Frank, before he'd become all twisted and bitter. Angela liked that her happiness no longer relied on one person - it was still reliant on her kids, and Maura now too, but it was such a lot less of a burden when it was spread out like that. She wasn't in a hurry to date again, enjoying being by herself for the first time in her life, even if her family was barely six feet away at any time. She wondered if she had her time again, if she'd have married. If she had her time now, with everything that had changed, if she'd have gotten an education and a job, like Hope or Constance. If she'd have gone into the force herself, if she'd have been like Jane and Frankie. She like to believe she'd have made a good detective - she always said Jane got her interrogation skills from her. But it felt too late, like she'd given away too much of herself. Like she didn't have enough time to do all the things she'd wanted to do as a little girl - she'd wanted to be an astronaut, a horse-riding instructor, a railway conductor. She'd wanted a life that didn't revolve around a man.
But Jane - Jane would never compromise for a man, that's why her relationships never worked out. And now that Angela had clarity, she wondered why she ever thought that assuming a woman would make all the compromises in a marriage was normal. But Jane made compromises for Maura every day. And she never complained about it, never complained about Maura. Sometimes she grizzled and whined, especially when Maura made her wear a dress, but she never had a hard stone of resentment within her when it came to Maura, not like Angela and Frank had for each other. But they weren't married.
But they could be. And if they were, Angela didn't want the sins of Jane's father to follow her. She didn't want Maura flinching at the sound of a raised voice. Angela had hoped she'd raised Jane better than that, but she was her father's daughter too.
Jane was waiting. Angela had been lost in thought too long.
"You treat her like she's the exception to every boundary you've ever had," Angela said finally. "And she trusts you."
"I earned that trust," Jane said, her eyes narrowing.
"I know you did, baby, but sometimes I think you forget she has feelings."
"I know she has feelings. Ma, what are you getting at?"
"Just... treat her better, please."
"Better than what? How I already treat her? How Pop treated you?" Jane was annoyed now.
"Jane..." Angela sighed. "We're both adults. I know how you feel about her." Jane's eyes widened and she stammered, ready to deny anything Angela said. "Does she know?" Angela asked. Jane hung her head, then shook it.
"You're right. She deserves better," Jane said lowly.
"Not better than you, because I don't think she'd going to find it, but she deserves the best of you." Angela chucked Jane's chin. "You're such a scrappy little fighter, always getting your digs in. You don't need to be like that with her."
Jane relaxed, as though she'd been fearing this moment for years and now that it had finally come it wasn't too bad.
"If that woman wants a hundred turtle costumes, you get her a hundred turtle costumes. The way she'll look at you when you do..."
"Tortoise," Jane said automatically, giving Angela a kiss on the cheek and heading back to the main house. "Do they have a zombie costume? You can't get him a zombie costume. I hate zombies. Can he be a vampire with a cape?" Angela heard as she closed the door, chuckling to herself. Angela had thought that getting divorced would be the worst thing in the world, but she wouldn't trade this life for anything.