Recoome: My name is Recoome, it rhymes with doom, and you'll be hurting all too soon!
A/N: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Gosh, I can't believe that line. Maybe one day I'll get enough guts to do a real bad Frieza line, but until then, I'll remain gutless. Anyhow, I've realized by skimming over my chapters that I really don't HAVE an Authors Note, it's just an excuse to talk to you guys! How pathetic is my life anyhow? Oh well, Hope 'ya don't mind!
*SIGH* As one reviewer put it, this story is totally far fetched. AND SHE'S RIGHT! If you guys still 'wanna keep reading, expect it to be much more far fetched. I applaud this reviewer for her insight to my one track mind, but contrary to her suggestion, I really don't intend on ending this so soon. Heck, I mean, THERE'S SO MUCH MORE I CAN DO! I hope I'm not aggravating anyone by making this so long, but *smiles* The ENTIRE Dragonball mythology was over 508 episodes, and look how much ya'll love that! HEHEHE! I AM AKIRA TORIYAMA, WITH HEAD TRAUMA AND A LOVE FOR ROMANCE!!!
One last thing, if I could have foreseen this, I wouldn't have believed it, but my reviewers just keep gettin' BETTER! Thank you guys so much. I realize that there are a lot who 'like' this story, but some of ya'll really go out of the way to tell me that you 'love' this story! I REALLY didn't expect or deserve the things some of ya'll have said! I've picked up about three reviewers this chapter who have just made my days SO much better! In fact, this chapter is dedicated to Sirena, since she made me feel so much better about writing. Thank you so much! I love all of ya'll! God bless and Enjoy Chapter Nine!!! *Nine already? WOW!*
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
He sighed as he heard the pressure from the closing door make that all-too-familiar sound. This had to have been the one thousandth stop that the bus had made since South City, and with each halt that the lumbering machine made, he felt more and more agitated. All he wanted was to get home. And, considering what they'd both been through, he didn't think it such an outrageous request. Yet no one seemed willing to comply with his fervent wish for a swift homecoming.
He diverted his eyes from the window, which had been beholding the tragic beauty of a rainy night in the large, empty streets of a nameless city, to focus them on the sleeping vixen whom he held on his arm.
She had been released from the hospital that day, and it had been nightfall before Goku could find means for them to get transportation back home. All of the money he had had on him was gone, and all that they had in accounts and at home was sure to be a distant memory by the time all of the hospital bills had been paid. After scouring diligently, he found an odd job that required little work, and he dutifully executed the task in record time, using the payment as bus fare. What irked him so was that he had the ability to get them both home quickly, hours sooner than this awful bus could, yet he had to refrain for health reasons. She was still extremely fragile, and the least little disturbance could cause everything to be made undone. And there was no way that he was even going to flirt with that concept. He had been to the bowels of the underworld and abided there for many months because of her health, and he wasn't going to take any chance of jeopardizing it, no matter how minuscule it might appear. And besides, he was far too physically downtrodden to attempt such a flight now, and the Nimbus was out of the question because of the horrible weather.
Streams of orange and white light danced across her still face as they passed each lamplight, accentuating the cozy atmosphere a long nighttime ride held, despite the bus' cold temperature and dirty upholstery. The company on the bus wasn't much help either, but most of the riffraff had stayed pretty much to themselves. Though the presence of a very pretty young girl and her boyfriend was a chemistry that some couldn't help but tamper with, especially when they were both as tired as they looked. Goku had hardly noticed any of them, though some of the company with chains and bleach blonde hair was hard to dismiss without a double take, especially to someone who had grown up in the backwoods.
However, everyone who had catcalled or cursed incessantly had escaped his retaliation, as he misunderstood their context or simply didn't hear. His hearing was still as reliable as ever, but when he kept letting his mind wander through the annulus of his mind, it somehow seemed harder to keep things in their proper text.
She began to moan, and he looked down at her as she moved. She wasn't really awake, he figured, just a bit restless in her dreams. It had been a week since the funeral, but she still cried regularly and talked about nightmares. He figured that the whole big scare about the desecration of their son's corpse had a big role to play in it, since her dreams had only gotten worse since then, even though everything had turned out right. Every time he thought about it, he wanted to hold her tighter, touch her, kiss her, somehow make it all right the way he always had before when she was upset. But he knew that this time, it was a very different ordeal. In fact, even after she had become rational and he had saved their child's honor, she still wouldn't let him touch her. The only reason he had her now was that she was asleep, and she wouldn't know he was holding her while she was unconscious.
Whereas before he had felt obligated to hold her, now he actually wanted to, and often. Early in the marriage, kissing and all had been fun, but was so awkward that he had had a hard time adjusting to it, despite he did like it a lot. But now, he found himself wanting more than anything to have the freedom to just kiss her whenever he felt like it, but due to the circumstances, he refused because of her feelings.
Had this been any other situation, Goku would have felt confused and neglected from her lack of contact towards him, but having been through the same thing as she, he understood her reasoning without even running it comprehensibly through his brain. But it did feel good to hold her again, even if she wasn't holding back.
***
"I think this here's your stop, kids." Came the gritty, nasal voice from the bus driver. Goku opened his eyes when he heard the words directed at him, he hadn't even been aware they were closed. He straightened and tried to gain his wits,
"Where are we at?" He asked sleepily.
"As far as this bus' 'gonna go 'for turnin' around." He laughed, "'Sides, it's nearly near Mount Paotzu, I think that's where ya'll said you's from, right?"
"Yeah, yeah that's right."
The old man grinned. "You know, I grown up 'round here, Paotzu that is. Right 'perty place to be reared, if ones'd be askin' me." He drawled so thickly even Goku, who had been ridiculed many times for his speech, noticed the accent. He was glad that Chichi wasn't awake or else he felt they might be moving, if they ever planned to 'rear' kids one day. His mood dropped then, at the thought of children. He didn't know if he'd ever think the same way of them again.
"Yeah, I think so, too. I like it." He nodded, gathering his wife in his arms carefully and slinging a beaten duffel bag over his shoulder. "Thanks for waking me."
"'Twere'nt a problem. Ya'll look like 'yalls bushed anyways, I 'might sworn 'yall 'woulda slept plum back to South City if I hadn'tve. So's 'yall just be takin' it easy here on out, 'ya hear?"
Goku grinned and nodded again. "Thanks."
He watched on as the bus pulled far away, stirring up clouds of dust from the dirt road far ahead of him. The place where they had been dropped off was an abandoned station of some kind from about twenty years before, and about two miles out of the nearest town. Their house was several miles away as well, he discerned about ten, from the looks of the area. He had originally planned to walk all the way, but he was more exhausted than he had at first believed himself to be.
But now, the skies weren't dropping rain, just very overcast. He figured that a hop on the Nimbus wouldn't be unreasonable... Besides, she could even lie down on the way. He'd just make sure that they kept low to the ground, and not high enough to attract the attention of any wayward bolts of lightning.
He covered her ears firmly, so as not to wake her when he yelled. Though as he did so, he was more than alarmed at his own voice. It sounded worn, ragged, and held an unceremonious gravel to it which it had never held previously. He wondered if the little cloud could even identify it as belonging to him.
Regardless, it came to a screeching halt right in front of him almost instantaneously. He didn't even see it approach, but gladly glided down into it's downy embrace. The cool wisps licked at his bare arms, which made a tingle run down his spine. Boarding the Nimbus was always as unexpected as the first time, no matter how many times he had carelessly or restlessly jumped onto it.
It seemed they had not been riding long at all when they arrived in front of the small house. It was all he could do to keep from tearing the door down to get inside, even for something as small as to smell it's subtle fragrance. He slid off of the cloud, and walked slowly up to the door. As he did, he shook her softly, attempting to wake her. He knew that she wouldn't be mad with him once she realized where they were.
"Hey... Hey..." He jostled her ever-so-slightly, and whispered attentively, "We're home now."
She opened her tired eyes slowly, and it only took her a few seconds to realize where she was. She pushed herself away from him with an eager tiredness, though he really didn't wish to let go.
She nodded and walked to the door. He reached deep into his jeans pocket and pulled out the front door key. He really didn't know why she had insisted on keeping locks on the doors, since he could pretty much defend their little belongings against anyone who tried to take them, but now he realized that maybe they weren't all bad, since they aided situations like this.
Once the door was opened, both were extremely alarmed to feel the gust of cold air that hit their faces from inside. This presented a problem that neither had thought of thus far. In all of the extremely cold and wet weather, no one had thought to come home and turn on the heater. But it didn't matter so much, they were just home.
Once inside, Chichi shuffled far down the hall and Goku set the bag down and locked the door. He had every intention of going straight to bed, though most times car trips just made him feel like running or sparring. This time though, he was utterly wasted in recreational areas.
No sooner had he run the thought through his head when he felt something tweak his ki awareness. He immediately dropped into ready stance, his groggy senses nearly dissipating in the wake of such a finding. He gulped heavily, and one singular thought hit him full throttle. Chichi was alone and on the other side of the house.
In an instant he had torn down the halls in a near frenzy trying to find her. He entered the bathroom hastily, nearly tearing down the patched hinges from where he had broken it before.
Chichi was on her knees, retching like a dog into the toilet. His stomach turned over and he felt like puking himself. In all of his internal contortment, he never thought that he'd lose grip on ki level discernment. When she threw up, the quick and sudden surge must have triggered his senses, causing him to feel the twinge. After all, it had been faint and she was no where near powerful at the moment. The only way that it could have flickered was if someone had had a jolt of adrenaline like that. It was either that or the alternative, which he knew wasn't an option. The alternative being that it had come from someone with a knowledge of ki manipulation, someone who knew not only how to read ki levels, but suppress them at will. And there wasn't anyone who had a real concept of that besides himself, so it was pretty much a ridiculous notion.
After a moment had passed, the reality of what was happening dawned on him. He didn't know what to do, so he kneeled down beside her and held her hair behind her. She didn't really seem to notice his presence there, but then again, she was vomiting so it wasn't that hard to believe she didn't acknowledge him.
After she was finished, she sat, holding herself over the open lid of the commode, sniffling wearily. He wished she wouldn't cry, though he knew it could be credited to the fact that she had just thrown up.... But, he thought, maybe she had thrown up because she had cried so much. An awkward moment passed, with her crying and him sitting there, holding her hair. Soon, he reached a hand to her and stroked her back soothingly, since he lacked an idea of a better thing to do. To his dismay, she shrank away from it hastily as if he were diseased.
"Don't touch me." She whispered, never bothering to look at him directly.
"I... I'm sorry..."
He paused momentarily, unable of what to say next.
"Is there anything I can do, Chichi?" He asked softly.
She shook her head, "I can't talk to you right now, Goku."
He drew back, more than a little unsure of her reasoning, yet he nodded.
"Okay."
***
Goku was on his hands and knees at the base of the staircase, laboriously working at the task of wiping up the dried blood from where she had fallen, when she finally traipsed out of the bathroom. He quickly finished his task so she wouldn't have time to see what it was that he was doing. He thought that if she discerned the incident behind his menial work then it might only make things worse. She walked right by him, her eyes fixated on nothing in particular. He was too aware that she hadn't even noticed him. He hoped she wasn't mad at him for having touched her, he had only wanted to help.
"Are you ready for bed?" He asked as she entered the doorway of their bedroom.
She never turned to look at him, "I need to sleep alone. You can't come Goku." She replied, her voice sounding for all the world like a zombie's. Goku's heart dropped from her cold rejection. He knew her reactions weren't because of anything he had done personally, yet it truly felt that way.
He just stood there, eyes darting across the floor, unable of what to say next. Chichi caddycornered her vision so that she looked at him out of the corner of her eye.
"I... I'm sorry, Goku." She whispered before shutting the door.
***
He cringed. It was about all he could do.
He heard her voice drifting from down the hall behind the closed door of their room. He couldn't stand to hear her cry, but it was all he was used to hearing now. It was muffled throw the filtration of what he assumed was her pillow, but it only added to his grief to know that she didn't want him to know what was only too obvious.
It had been a week since returning home, and he had hardly seen her. She kept to herself, barely ever coming out of the confinements of her room. She rarely ate, and he was certain that half of what she consumed came up later. He had not spoken to her much, and as of the particular date, it had been five days since they had conversed. Not that they had had much conversation beforehand. He wanted to speak to her, to talk all night like they used to, but she was so ravaged emotionally it wouldn't do any good. She never invited him to share the room, so he still slept on the couch.
As odd as it would have seemed to him a year earlier, he missed sharing their bed more than he would have ever guessed. His body ached for her, just to hold her, brush her cheek, touch her shoulders... Little things he didn't even know he was aware of until now. But she still remained solemn, and he figured that he'd just have to let her wait it out. But he didn't know how much more he could bear her filtered crying.
***
Day came, though it could hardly be called day by the darkness of the clouds. They tumbled violently and the wind whipped with an uncharacteristic freeze. It was December, and though the month was known for being cold, no one could quite remember when it had been this bad. It had rained sporadically for more than a month, making each day colder than the previous. No rain fell as of the moment, but the forecast foretold a night of horrible storms.
Goku sighed. Another week had come and gone with little change. He was bit by bit getting into a routine, going on with his life. He still didn't fully comprehend the sorrow that resided in every corner of his mind, but he knew that he never would, and doubted that anyone else, no matter how world savvy they were, could either.
However, she was still withdrawn, coming out more than she had, but as before, only for something to eat, which she never ate at the table. She was never dressed properly, her hair in ragged stiffened streaks, and her face plastered with no emotion, though he saw it when he was unlucky enough to catch a glimpse of her eyes.
***
Goku was wandering around the kitchen aimlessly later that day when he heard a noise from behind him. He turned around and almost fell off of his feet.
Chichi was standing there, her hair pulled back, and wearing a light violet dress. The look in her eyes was sad, as if she was barely keeping herself from crying. He was so startled that she had come out that he didn't even say anything. He wanted to talk to her, but he thought maybe anything that he said to her would discourage her mood, so he smiled faintly at her and walked into the den so as not to crowd her. He didn't want to ruin whatever ray of light might be trying to shine through on such a dark day.
He watched her closely from the other room, though he pretended to be engulfed in other work. She pulled out a few things and started the fire on the stove. It was almost too good to be true. He had been living so long by his own means, he had almost forgotten what one of her meals tasted like. He felt something warm pass through his cold interior as he watched her slowly make her way from one end of the kitchen to the other. He didn't know what the sensation was, and he couldn't recall if it had ever been there before. It was as if he needed something, though he wasn't sure what.
He noticed the look on her face was strained, as if she was on the verge of collapsing. He hoped that she wouldn't. He hadn't heard her cry for three days, so he knew that she was trying to pull herself out of her depression, but he could only see that her stubborn refusal was making her pain that much more palpable.
"What's wrong with me?" Chichi questioned herself fervently as she felt the tears sting her eyes, "What kind of disgraceful wretch do I look like? I cried for so long I thought my eyes would never be dry again, and now that I have control, I am NOT going to give in now. No matter how.... Much.... I.... Want..... To....."
Her internal conflict won her attention, and her physical aspect went about in angry, jerky motions to try and get her attention off of her problems. She slammed and knocked things over unintentionally, too caught up to slow down lest her mind become fully aware of her grief and she melt once again.
In her blindsightedness, she reached for a skillet on the burner of the stove and lay her hand on it completely. So deep was her emotional battle that she hardly noticed it until her flesh started to melt, but when she did take note, it hurt... It hurt so badly and was so unexpected that she started sobbing -- The very thing she had been trying to avoid.
The whole situation was too much for her. She had come out too early. She wasn't prepared to start being normal again, she never would be. The hurt, the pain, the parting, the sickness, the death, the desecration, the loneliness, the cold, the emptiness, the night.... They all fell upon her, and she clutched her hand to her chest and cried.
The tears had only begun to fall when she felt someone's arms surround her and pull her close. The contact was unprecedented, and her mind nearly told her to pull away.... Yet that thought didn't sit for more than a brief second. It felt so warm, so inviting, so safe. She hadn't touched him in almost three weeks, but now it just seemed as if it was the rightest thing in the world. She allowed her head to fall to his chest, where she sobbed almost silently.
"Shhh...."
At his soothing, she fell farther into sobbing. She knew that was the opposite of his intention, but she couldn't restrain herself. He held her tightly for a long time, before whispering sweetly,
"Did you hurt yourself?"
She pursed her lips and nodded, never tearing her head from his breast.
"What happened?"
She tried to speak, but just couldn't find the words to do so. He hypothesized,
"Did you burn yourself?"
She nodded.
"Aw, honey, I'm sorry," He wrapped his arms around her tighter, but looked down on her from an angle, "Let me see, okay?"
She withdrew from her embrace and gently gave him her scorched hand. It had deep red marks across it, and looked painful even to him. He clamped his hand over hers and applied pressure. She almost jerked her hand away, except that his action made the pain dissipate slightly.
"Come over to the table and I'll see what I can do for it." He said, with almost the same authority in which she had heard her doctor speak, only much less stiff-necked and with much more concern.
"Now you hold it just like this," He placed her other hand over it and positioned it to how his had been, "And don't let go of it, or it's 'gonna hurt a lot worse. I'll be right there."
Chichi watched him as he walked down the hall, and she wondered how exactly it was that Goku was taking such a responsibility. Why, he acted like he actually knew what to do, which was just as surprising as the burn had been. She quickly shrugged her tears away with her shoulders, determined to not let her emotions get the best of her again.
Soon, he reentered with a bandage of some sort. She looked at it oddly, she had never seen it before, and, to be truthful, she didn't know that there was anything like it in the house. He pulled the chair opposite from her and took her hand firmly, rubbing it with some kind of ointment. After it had been applied he dressed the wound impeccably. She was amazed with the mobility that she had, though the wrap was tight enough to keep the pressure.
"If you take that off, it's gonna hurt bad, but you need to every now and then to put on some ice and add more ointment and put on another wrap. If you don't, then that stuff's 'gonna evaporate, and with a burn that bad your 'gonna 'hafta put on more than one lick of it if you want it to get better. It'll be sore for a while, but after a few days, it'll be like it was never even there." He said naturally, as if he was giving instruction to someone on how to breathe. She was so amazed her mouth almost dropped. He knew so much about this, and she, to be honest, had no idea what to do with burns. If it had been up to her she would have ran cold water on it and not wrapped it at all, and she most certainly wouldn't have put so much pressure on it like that. The way she saw it was that if it hurt really badly, then it must be getting better.
"How is it that you know so much about this?"
He looked at her with a half-smile, "It's just somethin' I learned over the years. I used to have to fix myself up all the time 'cause there wasn't no one else to do it for me."
Her look proved that she wasn't satisfied with his answer, so he expounded,
"When you learn ki manipulation and how to power up and all, it really does hurt when you use an attack. I used to get scorched after every Kamehameha, 'Cause when you've got so much power swimmin' around you like that, your 'gonna get burned. And when you actually get licked with someone else's attack, it's awful. So I had to learn how to do this 'kinda thing or else all of my arms and legs 'woulda fell off a long time ago." He chuckled dryly, more at her expression than at his own humor.
"Wow," She muttered, looking down at her bandaged hand, "That's just.... I always kind of saw you as the 'lick it and stick it' type of guy. I didn't know you actually used any kind of ointments on yourself or anything."
"Well, most times it was special 'kinda plants and stuff, back before I actually knew the stuff came in a tube. It's a lot easier to just get some from town and be done with it than search for two hours for a weed."
"What else do you know about besides burns?" She questioned, totally intrigued by his know-how.
"Well, um..." His voice trailed off before piping again, "Cuts, bruises, gashes, fractures, broken bones, bleeding, scrapes, all sorts of things."
She looked at him with a sort of admiration, a look that he really liked. Maybe he'd have to talk medically again one day when she got mad. He thought it strange how much she hated doctors, but seemed to like the fact that he knew a thing or two about it.
She smiled and turned off the oven. He approached her, but she stepped out of dodge and headed back to her room. But before finishing, she turned around,
"Thanks, Sweetie."
***
The night had fallen, and behind the black, ominous clouds, the moon was full.
Goku knew that it was. He could feel it. There was something about the full moon that made him act much differently than at any other time. Chichi had noticed his behavior alterations at that time of month as well.... Boy had she ever noticed.
His sweet, laid-back personality was still ever present, but it was replaced with an aggression that was very uncharacteristic to his passive personality. Sometimes, it was only a few select things in which his activities would differ. One time, he ate more than double his amount of food intake, and once he ate less than half. Sometimes he trained until he literally dropped and sometimes he didn't train at all. But one thing was always certain for her on the night of a full moon.... She'd look forward to the next one.
He was so intense on those nights that she more than once thought that it couldn't be him. He was too desperate, too frenzied, too primal to be her husband. But the morning after it always proved to be his arms in which she awoke, so she had absolutely no complaints.
But for him, it was a different story. His weird urges and restless aggression never proved to be a hassle for him.... Unless he couldn't obtain the thing which he was stressing over, and then it became unbearable.
He reclined on the couch and watched the door. All he wanted was to tear it down. To traipse up to her and kiss her until she lacked breath.... But he had far too much respect to demean her feelings like that, even though the urge was almost unquenchable.
He tossed over on the couch, trying to assume a comfortable position. How he would much rather be in his own bed than on this uncomfortable hunk of padded wood. He knew she wasn't in her room now, she was down the hall in the bathroom, and had been for the better part of half an hour. He had heard the water running so he knew she was probably taking a shower. He shook his head, he wasn't even going to think about that, especially not in his current state.
He lay there and listen to the wind scream outside. Thunder rolled and lightning lit the sky at intervals. It hadn't started to rain yet, but he was sure that it would be a very short amount of time until it did.
Inadvertently, his mind came back around full circle. He moaned in agitation.
"Darned moon."
But, he thought, the moon wouldn't be near as 'darned' if he were laying with her tonight. The warm sensation that passed through him earlier that day when he watched her cooking in the kitchen had only magnified it's essence ten thousand times more, so a great fire ran through his chest. It felt a lot like heartburn, but wasn't. Oh, his heart burned all right, but it wasn't heartburn.
He sighed in defeat. This wasn't like any ordinary full-mooned night, not that any of them had been ordinary, but it wasn't typical. Before, he had been secured in his emotions, and really didn't have any tumultuous feelings of which to speak. But the sorrow that had accompanied his son's death, the pain that had doubled with Chichi's sickness and mental stability, the loneliness he had felt since being sentenced to not touch her or speak to her when he needed her encouragement so much, merely added to his aggression exponentially. So he was a literal basket case. His mind sped, his heart raced, his blood boiled.... He was so restless that it hurt. He knew he couldn't take much more of it. The sad part was he didn't have a choice.
He felt guilty for having the feelings that he had. But it wasn't that he wanted her so much physically, and that he certainly did, as he needed her emotionally. He needed her to tell him that she cared, that all of his efforts and tribulations hadn't been in vain. And if she couldn't tell him with her words, then that was okay. He just needed to know. It had been ages since they talked, and she made no indication of her feelings to him when they did. Yes, he missed the emotional part of the relationship drastically.
Not that he was disregarding the physical aspect by any means.
It had been so long since they had lain together, since he had fallen asleep with his arms beneath her, head on her chest, just listening to her heart's song. So long since he had pressed his lips to hers, or ran his fingers through her hair, or felt the skin of her back, or traced the trails of her ears.... So long it was intolerable. But there was also that sense of importance that was associated with it as well. Like the way she used to kiss him, it was as if she couldn't live without it, and he wasn't just the one she wanted to hold, he was the only one on earth who could make it right. No one else would do, and that was what thrilled him about the physical aspect.
He growled at himself in exasperation and pulled the sheet over his head. He couldn't allow his mind to ramble like that. It was wrong of him to even think of her like that now, she was hurting so badly, and she didn't even like him touching her in the first place. And despite the fact that his teenage hormones had all the stability of a house of blocks in an earthquake, he forced himself to disregard them.
He was just beginning to get a small foothold in his internal battle when he heard her come out of the bathroom door. At first he thought he wouldn't look, a visual wouldn't help his situation in the least, but he finally decided he should turn over and say goodnight. And turn over he did, but at a glimpse of her he fell right off of the couch.
For reasons unbeknownst to him, she had exited the bathroom in full makeup. Her lips were glossed so that the light from the bathroom lit them, her face was covered in a layer of classic ivory that added a color to her face that hadn't been there previously, and her eyes.... Were breathtaking. She had applied a dark layer of eyeliner just below the lashes, and a thick, black coat of mascara to the lashes themselves. Her eyes shimmered in the darkness, and his first thought was how innocent they looked. He had never seen her eyes look that way, they looked more than slightly sad, and the lip of her eyes just above her bottom lashes protruded slightly, flaunting a childlike mannerism to them.
Her hair, which had been washed very few times since returning from the hospital, was now clean and beautiful. It cascaded down her back and spilled over her shoulders from it's half-tied band, and when the lightning flashed, the gleams in her hair turned blue. Her bangs and sidelocks dangled flirtatiously in her face, framing it more beautifully than he thought could be.
And to top it all off, she wore a long, dark gown that hung to her ankles with slight straps on the shoulders. She never wore that gown, she always slept in T-shirts and things, which he always considered to be much prettier than gowns, but now, his mind had been changed.
He choked on his own breath. This was cruel. CRUEL.
"Are you okay?" She asked passively, looking down at the floor to meet his wide eyes.
"No." He stated plainly. He knew he should have answered otherwise, but he didn't even make an attempt to retract his comment.
"If you got off of the floor then maybe it wouldn't be so bad."
"Uh... Right." He pulled himself back to the couch, and sat straight up. Surely this must be an illusion. It was almost ten at night, there was no reason for her to be fixed like she was. It was his stupid hormones playing trick on him again. He had a sudden urge to destroy the moon, even though Kami was sure to bless him out about it. Though that particular temptation was second in line.
She walked up to him and sat on the other side of the small couch. Nope, it wasn't his stupid hormones, she was really fixed up. Usually, he thought make-up demeaned one's beauty, but he changed his mind on that one, too, after catching her eyes again.
"Why.... Uh...." He started, but was quite unable to finish.
She looked at the floor, "I.... I don't know, really. It's just, I've been so sad for so long that I really didn't care how I looked, and on impulse I just decided to try and make myself look nice. It's stupid, really, but I just felt like getting cleaned up." She fumbled with the tape of her bandage, "Besides, if I wear a lot of make-up, I'm less likely to cry, to be truthful. I don't know why, it's just habitual, I guess."
Now he was really ticked. This was awful. No words could adequately describe his torment. He was really stuck on what to say, but moreso, he was really out of luck on what to do.
"You look really, really nice." He said incredulously.
"Thanks." She smiled, and ran her hand over the other.
The lightning flashed, and lit the nearly dark room in about two seconds of unadulterated light. Despite that all of the little adjustments made her look beautiful, he noticed how much he wanted to smear the gloss from her lips, break the restraint that loosely held her hair, and that gown was just in the way....
He physically hit himself at the conception of his thoughts. Chichi started at his self-inflicted pain. She had no clue as to why he was acting like this.
"Well, uh, goodnight, Goku. Thanks for the bandage today." She rose to her feet and turned to walk to her bedroom door. But for some odd reason, she turned and touched his shoulder.
"Sweet dreams."
He sat as still as a statue until she had closed the door. Then it all hit him with the power of a souped-up, steroid-induced Dodon Ray. He might have been okay, he might have tossed through the night, and he might have struggled with his unstable urges all night long and woken the next morning in tact. Until she touched him. Now there was no way he could go on in peace.
If he was drowning in guilt before for what he had thought of her then, then he was dead in it now. He felt like the world's biggest heel. His son hadn't been dead for a month and here he was trying to fulfill what he wanted.... It didn't seem right, and was hardly plausible. Yet he pulled himself to his feet and walked to her door anyway.
Inside, she was just turning off the light when she heard the knock. It startled her, and she wondered what it was that he wanted. She noticed he had been acting very strangely, but she had no clue as to why.
The way he had looked at her on the couch made her want to stay, but she couldn't stand to be touched.... Although he had held her so tightly today when she hurt herself, and she hadn't wanted him to let go.... Of course she didn't want to be touched!! She was still suffering too much, she still had to take the grief full throttle in order to fully appreciate the sorrow of the event, she couldn't accept any kind of levitation that he could offer. No, she didn't want him to touch and her and that's why she left.... But then why did she touch him before leaving?
Confounded, she was about to answer his rap when the door opened anyway. She looked inquisitively, he never opened the door without her consent.
"Chichi...." She heard his voice from the threshold, though it was more of a statement than a beckoning.
"Goku?"
She heard him come to her side of the bed, and she was vaguely aware of him in the darkness, though she couldn't tell if he was sitting or standing.
Suddenly, without warning, she felt his mouth slam into hers. It was so surprising she didn't do anything, she was totally immobilized. He continued with a passion that showed no signs of stopping or slowing down. He kissed her hard, harder than she had ever recalled him kissing her before, and he was by nature no soft administrator. She felt him move over her, pulling her to him desperately, and encouraging the pressure of the kiss by placing his hand behind her head. And while it was busy getting lost in her hair, he found time to break the band that bound it, letting it fall carelessly in every direction.
Her first initial reaction was too shove him off and give him a piece of her mind, and this she had every intention of doing, except that his body on hers and his kiss on her lips was nostalgically intoxicating. She had wanted to be left alone to bear the weight of her trial by herself, but at the moment of his touch, she knew that she couldn't go alone any longer.
Her emotional pain transformed to a physical need, and she returned his kiss ferociously. She half expected a startled falter on his part, since she knew that he had been expecting a rash lecture for his conduct, but his embrace never diminished. In fact, he only clung to her more tightly than he had before.
After many heated moments, he pulled away from the kiss and held her. She savored the feel of his heaving chest and the aroma of his breath so close to her face, but moreso the simplistic sensation of just being held.
***
The dawn was dark and stormy, and he couldn't truly tell it had come if not for the clock on their dresser. The weather the night before had been ruthless, with screaming winds, clashing thunder and sky-splitting lightning, with a rain so hard that the roof threatened to collapse from it's fall, and the day was not proving much of an improvement. However, the night before had been a storm, but for a much different reason than the rain.
Goku opened his eyes, and surprisingly he wasn't sleepy, just a bit exhausted. No matter what the activities consisted of on full-mooned nights, even if it was just sleeping, he was always tired on the morrow. He had always wondered why, though he could never find a logical explanation.
He looked over to see if she had risen yet, but from her position, he couldn't tell. She had fallen asleep in his arms, yet her back was against his chest and he couldn't tell if her eyes were open or not. It was so dark outside he wasn't sure if he could have told even if she was facing him.
"Goku?" Her query floated barely audible over the pounding rain and rolling thunder of the early morning. He wasn't startled that she was awake since his senses were slightly dulled, he just hadn't expected her to know that he was up.
"Yeah?"
"Did you really think that I was a demon?"
Her question caught him completely off guard. After last night's events, he hardly expected her to bring up something that paled so in comparison. He had almost even forgotten it, partly because he had tried to push that particular memory as far from his thoughts as possible.
"I.... I didn't really know, but I didn't think so...."
"Would it have mattered?"
"What?" He asked, quite unsure of the context of her meaning.
"I mean, if I had turned out to be a demon, would it have mattered to you? Would you have cared?" She asked, no emotion detectable in her dry voice.
"No." He answered so simply she shook.
"But why not? Why wouldn't you have cared? Shape-shifters are one thing, but demons are something entirely different. How would you have felt if I had turned out to be one? How would you feel married to someone who would have been a better match for Piccolo?"
"Your not for Piccolo, Chichi...."
"But why wouldn't that have mattered?"
"Well.... It just wouldnt've. Your you, Chichi, it doesn't matter if you were another 'kinda something, 'cause I like you how you are."
There was an elongated pause, and Goku broke the eerie silence by asking,
"Would you have cared if it was the other way around and I was the different one?"
He felt her tense in his arms, not something he wanted to feel. She delayed for a long moment before answering,
"To be truthful, Goku, yes."
His insides felt weird at her answer. It wasn't that he felt nervous or letdown, he just felt weird.
"But why? Why does it matter to you so much what people look like on the outside?"
Another long pause. He was beginning to think she wouldn't answer, but she replied. Her voice sounded far away, like it had the day she was describing her mother to him.
"Because, it hurts, Goku. You don't know what it was like being me. Being the little demon-girl, the one that no one wanted to be associated with."
He laid still, unsure of what her words had meant. She continued,
"After Mama died, Daddy had a breakdown. Before we had been a respectable family, royalty, even. But then he went reclusive, he locked himself away from everyone, and for a long time, I was alone. I knew he hadn't stopped loving me, but it hurt not being able to have anybody. I wanted so badly for someone, anyone, to just be there for me and listen to what I needed to say. But there was no one."
Goku felt a surge of sympathy towards his wife and father-in-law, but at the same time, he couldn't believe how hard it had been. She had never said anything about this before.
"Eventually, Daddy came out, but when he did, there was an odd glow to his eyes, and it scared me. Before he was so caring, and now he looked vicious. He wanted nothing but to lash out against the world that had been so evil to us both, by becoming evil himself. He dubbed himself Gyuu-Mao then, whereas before we had had a respectable name to all who knew us. Even though I was young, I knew he wasn't thinking straight.... I knew he was just trying to get back at the world for taking Mama away.... For making us into a broken family. I was only five, but I was forced to grow up then."
She inched closer to Goku, and he warmly drew his arms around her tighter, especially when he heard the straining in her voice.
"After a few years, his want for revenge dwindled, and I could tell that he just wanted to go back to being a normal person again. I wanted it badly, too, but for different reasons.... I was a complete and total outcast. I had no friends. Everyone that I came close to ran away, or teased me, or tried to hurt me. They called me every name they could think of, it was as if I wasn't a real person, something that didn't have any feelings at all. And in their eyes, I wasn't. I was the spawn of a demon. It made me harbor a little bit of anger against my father sometimes because of his title. He called himself the Ox Demon, and so therefore everyone thought that he really was, and because of the intimidation factor, he never revoked his title, even after he reformed."
"Why didn't you tell 'em that you were just a girl?" Goku asked.
"I tried, but no one would ever stay still long enough to listen, so eventually, I quit trying. My life was a living nightmare, Goku, I felt very, very useless. The only one who loved me or cared for me at all was my father, and despite his horrible image, he was very loving, I couldn't have asked for a better Dad, just one with a little more sense of forgiveness. My life was terrible.... Until you came."
She stopped, the same thing happened to Goku's breathing.
"When you came, there was something unearthly about you. There had been a handful of people who had tried to reach dad, but then you came and in five minutes unmade seven years worth of bitter hatred. That's when I knew that there was something different about you.
"When I was with you, Goku, I felt like I was accepted, like I was.... Special. I was only twelve then, but I made up my mind that you were the one I'd always be with. Your impact was so great on me just by meeting you then, that I was never able to shake the feeling. Because of you, my life turned around. Dad went back to being the kind person he was before, and we moved to a village where I actually had friends. The people were very kind to us, and I had you to thank for it."
Goku was stunned. He had had no idea that he had affected her life so much. Now he really understood why she had been so mad when he hadn't recognized her at the Tenkaichi Boudokai. Her world had been changed by him, and he hadn't even remembered her.
"Life went well in the village for a long time. The people accepted us, though they weren't exactly completely aware of our past. Until one day when some other villagers visited our town, and recognized Dad as the one who used to terrorize them. Then everything came out, and most of the villagers turned on us. We were forced to leave and relocate somewhere else, but no matter where we went from then on, the reputation preceded us."
Her voice dropped in pitch, but she pressed on,
"By the time I was fourteen, we had found a secluded place to live, away from most of the surrounding villages, but I had to go to school in one of the towns close by. It was terrible. The name-calling I had encountered before was nothing compared to what awaited me at school. They called me 'Demon Girl' and 'The Majin Princess' and much, much worse. But thankfully, I had one friend, and I think that he was the only reason, besides you, that I was able to keep going during those years. However, all of the name calling soon grated raw on me, and I became extremely defensive. Before, I had been rather passive, but then because of all of the things that were being hurled at me, I had to retaliate or I would have been eaten alive."
It hit him then, just exactly why she acted the way she did. Whenever she felt threatened, she yelled and screamed, and when she felt she was being demeaned, she vented. He had always wondered what had caused her to change so much from the shy little girl he had met once to the fiery girl she was now. Now he knew, and he felt an extreme sympathy for her. He had no idea that she had been through anything like this.
"I managed to make it through those years, though towards the end I had to pull out and continue the rest of my education at home. It was so much easier there, without the insults, just dad and me. I started training extremely hard, preparing for the next Tenkaichi Boudokai, so I could go and... Meet you there." Her voice halted, and Goku suddenly felt like the biggest jerk on planet Earth.
"I didn't tell Dad I was going, I only told my friend. He tried to talk me out of going, but I wouldn't listen. We had a huge fight that day.... It was horrible."
"What was the fight about?"
Chichi stiffened again, and after a few moments of silence, she shuttled out her less-than believable response,
"Oh, nothing really."
Goku was far from sufficed with her answer, yet he didn't prod her. He wondered why she still insisted on keeping things from him.
"Well, we were having a fight, and I walked away. As I did, he said that if I left him for you, that he would never forgive me. And.... I chose you...."
An odd sensation of guilt swept through him at that moment, stronger than before. He wanted to say something, but her dialogue had put him in a very awkward position.
"So I left the only friend I had ever had to come to the tournament. But, I have to say, that even though it was a hard decision, I definitely made the right one." She said, trying to spin a believable tone of pride in her voice, yet there was a deeper, somewhat sadder, emotion behind it.
"I'm sorry...."
"Don't be, Goku." She stated firmly and rolled over in his arms to face him, "You've made my life better than it was, and more than I deserved."
"Why didn't you ever tell me any of this before?"
"Because, it's not easy.... It's not easy to relive that kind of thing, no matter how much better off you are now than you were then. It was horrible, but I suppose you have a right to know, I know I'd want to know if something like that had happened to you." He noted a quiet tremble in her words.
"That's awful, Chichi, I had no idea you'd been through so much. If I had known, I would've...."
"If you had known, I was afraid you would have left me, too." She added softly.
He almost responded, but didn't. He now knew the reason for her insecurities, but they still seemed deeper than he had at first concluded. Why was it that she was so unsure of herself, and he was the only one that knew? He thought that, after all they had been through, she would know by now that he wasn't going to leave her.
He drew his face close to hers and brushed her lips with his.
"I wouldn'tve" He thought, though he knew she didn't hear him, "I guess that's why she's so against bein' with people diff'rent than her, 'cause they made fun of her when they thought she was diff'rent."
Though the conclusion seemed to make sense, it by no means felt right. No one should have to go through such ridicule, not for anything, especially not something that they couldn't help themselves.
"Well, do you think it's about time to get up?" She asked heavily, wrapping her arms around his stomach.
He regarded her embrace with a half-smile.
"Are you kiddin'? It's rainin' outside and it's warm right here. I think we're both entitled to sleep in today, 'whaddya say, princess?"
"Yeah, I guess so." She laid her head against his chest, inhaling his aroma, and noted just how good it felt to be called a name that wasn't derogatory.
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
A/N: I can't believe myself, I totally wanted to cover so much more in this chapter, yet it was a little slow. I hope I can pick the pace back up by Chapter Ten, and I hope ya'll aren't losing interest just because of my slow plot developments. *Agitated sigh* Oh well, Snails aren't my favorite bugs for no reason.
I wanted to take this time and web space to advertise a very good story by my bestest bud, Mira. She is in the middle of writing a story called 'Meaningless', which FAR exceeds my writing capacities in area's or wording, talent, and storytelling. ANY story by Mira is a jewel, so please, check out 'Meaningless' or any of her stories! She's my idol! I one day hope to ascend to her ranking, yet *sobs* I don't think I can! CURSE YOU, MIRA-ROT! ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD OF ME! Anyhow, do check out her stuff, you'll be oodles of gladness that you did. Leave me a review, and I'll love you forever, and leave Mira a review, and I'll love you forever, too! God bless ya'll!
FINAL NOTE: If anyone wants to be updated on 'Something Deeper' please just leave me your addy in a review *wink* or email it to me so I can put 'ya on my mailing list. Thanks once again for the greatness of these reviews!