LATER!!!
"What are we going to do?" Shigure practically whined. "Now no one except Ayame and myself have shoes."
"You were even irresponsible enough to lose YOUR shoes, Hatori!" laughed Ayame cruelly.
"Well, luckily everyone also packed their sandals considering the fact that it IS the summer." Hatori reminded them.
"I'm hungry!!" yelled Kyo as he stomped up the ladder into the loft where the three elders were chillin'.
"Shut up Kyo!!" yelled Ayame.
"Ayame, we haven't fed them all day." Said Hatori. "He has reason to be hungry I suppose."
"YOU SUPPOSE?!?!" screamed Kyo quite possibly just a little louder than what was currently humanly possible. "HERE WE ARE STARVING AND YOU'RE JUST SUPPOSE!?!?"
"Well, you're the one that left our food in the woods." Ayame pointed out to Kyo.
"So like when we were in the woods, we have to forage!" said Shigure.
"I'm sure this place has SOME food in the kitchen." Said Hatori as he climbed down the ladder of the loft and walked in the kitchen to search among the cabinets.
"No one's been here for years." Said Shigure. "Even if there IS any food, it can't possibly still be healthy if we were to eat it."
After thoroughly searching the kitchen, the only things that were found was a bag of sugar, some baking soda, a mystery Tupperware with unknown contents, sunflower seeds and some granola that was all hardened together into a big granolay rock.
"Isn't there a food store nearby?" asked Shigure.
"There was one about thirty miles down the road." Said Hatori.
"Let's HIKE to it!" declared Ayame as he was suddenly in full hiking garb again.
"No." said Hatori sternly. "I'm not taking all these kids and you two thirty miles to a store to get food when none of us have shoes."
"WE have shoes." Shigure pointed out.
"Then why don't you two go and get food?" asked Hatori.
"I'm for Shigure's FORAGING idea!" said Ayame as he pulled down a shade to reveal a cleverly made chart that he made. "I figure we can each do different tasks depending on certain advantages we have."
Hatori and Shigure looked at Ayame's chart.
"You wrote on the shade?" asked Hatori.
"Yes…yes I did." Said Ayame.
"Don't do it again."
"So anyway, Yuki, with his rodent-like foraging abilities, can collect all sorts of nuts and other things that small furry creatures like himself enjoy eating." Started Ayame.
"Since when does Yuki have rodent-like foraging abilities?" asked Hatori.
"Since always." Said Ayame seriously. "And cats are expert fish catchers! That can be Kyo's job!"
"Kyo is a failure fish catcher!" Shigure said with his finger pointed high in the air.
"No he isn't!" Ayame said as he cleared his throat. "Ritsu can climb trees like an ape and get fruits and stuff…"
"Ritsu is not here." Said Hatori.
"Well, if you guys don't want to hear my ideas…" said Ayame as he flipped the shade back up.
"Well, DRIVING to the store is not out of the question." Said Hatori.
"We wouldn't be TRUE campers if we DROVE to a store!" said Shigure.
Hatori decided that he would ignore Shigure. "Now, I will drive to the store that is thirty miles away." He said. "And since it's thirty miles away, it will probably take at least two hours to get there and back and I am definitely not leaving you two with all these kids to watch so I will take some of them with me." He thought for a minute. "Maybe I'll take some of the more tranquil ones with me in the car…like…Tohru, Haru and Momiji."
He was just about to turn around and leave when he stopped. "Actually, I'll leave Tohru here and take Yuki instead so I could not only split up Yuki and Kyo but Tohru couldn't accidentally fall on me again. Quite frankly, I am not interested in once again turning into a seahorse and then tossed into any sort body of water whether it be a lake, a toilet or a cereal bowl."
"Hatori, stop talking out loud to yourself, take Kyo, Kagura and Tohru with you and go to the store." Said Ayame as he punted the three children out the door and then decided that maybe Akito needed some fresh air so he punted Akito out the door as well.
I guess Hatori was in some sort of 'thinking aloud to yourself' state of mind at the time so he just kind of got in the car without switching the kids around.
"I DON'T WANNA SIT IN THE MIDDLE!!!" yelled Kyo as he stood outside the door because Kagura and Tohru had already gotten in the car and only the middle seat was open in the back. (Akito had been punted EXACTLY into the passenger's seat and because of some sort of bizarre magic lightning bolt from the heavens, he was also buckled in.)
"I'LL sit in the middle!" said Tohru cooperatively as she moved over and buckled herself in. Kyo was about to throw a temper tantrum for no reason whatsoever but he just climbed in because now he was GRUMPY!! ALSO for no reason whatsoever!!!
And Hatori hummed his favorite song, The Yoshi Song, and started driving. Only after a few minutes did it occur to him that he had just taken pretty much everyone he DIDN'T want to take but that didn't really matter since it was only collectively about sixty miles and WHAT THE HELL COULD HAPPEN IN THE CAR?!?!
MEANWHILE!!!
"Come on, let's do something!!" said Shigure as he and Ayame paraded down the loft ladder because they had just remembered that they had to be watching the kids and not sitting up in the loft talking about what it's like to be a snake and a dog.
"I AM doing something." Said Haru as he pulled himself back in from being kind of out the window to reveal that he had a butterfly in his hands. "A butterfly."
"Okay…now let the butterfly go and let's go do something!" said Ayame.
"BUTTERFLY?!" Momiji yelled, looking up from his color-by-number. "LET ME SEE IT!!" He ran up as fast as he POSSIBLY could over to Haru to look at the butterfly. The two stared at the butterfly and didn't look like they were going to move anytime soon so Shigure and Ayame looked at each other and shrugged.
"Now where is Yuki?" said Shigure.
"He must be foraging around with his rodent like abilities." Said Ayame as he chuckled at his funny.
"You know, that wasn't humorous the first time." Said Shigure.
"Yes it was." Said Ayame. Then Yuki walked around the corner with bulging cheeks and the block of granola in his hands.
"This is REALLY good!" he said, talking with his mouth full of food.
"SEE?!" said Ayame, pointing at Yuki. "I know my own brother!"
"Yuki, that granola is probably a gwazillion years old." Said Shigure. "The last person who was the rat most likely had that too. And the person before that."
"That's why it's mine now." Said Yuki as if that made any sense as he continued gnawing at the block.
"No, that's why it's really old." Shigure tried to explain but Yuki was going to eat that granola until hell froze over.
MEANWHILE!!!
Hatori…yes, he was still driving. It was actually a very peaceful ride but Hatori had to every once and a while check to make sure that Akito wasn't falling out the window because he had INSISTED on just hanging out of it mysteriously while flapping in the wind.
"KYO!!" screamed Kagura randomly as if she just remembered that Kyo was sitting a few feet away from her. "If you don't hug me, I'm going to scream!"
"You're already screaming!" Kyo pointed out.
"Come on!!" said Kagura, leaning over Tohru who was just sitting there obliviously with horseshoe eyes.
"Leave me alone!!" Kyo yelled.
But…oh wouldn't you know it?! Because Kagura was leaning over Tohru, Tohru was pushed over RIGHT ON TOP OF KYO who immediately turned into a cat with a POOF!
"NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!" Kyo yelled at Kagura.
"I didn't do it on purpose!" Kagura HOLL-ered. "TOHRU did it!"
And Tohru only said, "YAY!!"
"Well, I'm going to go and sit in the front." Said Kyo as he leapt up in a single bound and landed in the front seat. There was room for him, of course, since Akito was half out the window.
"Kyo, put your seatbelt on." Said Hatori, noting the fact that Kyo was now in the front seat.
"It's not like you're going to get into a car accident!" said Kyo as if he KNEW.
"Well at least get into your own seat since that's Akito's." said Hatori.
"He's not USING it!!" said Kyo. "Why don't I ever get to sit in the front?!"
"You never ask." Hatori replied.
"I ASK EVERY DAY!!!!" yelled Kyo even though it might very well just be a lie to get his point across. And then there was a poof and he turned back to normal RIGHT THEN AND THERE!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
"Now get your clothes on." Hatori instructed.
"They're in the back seat!" Kyo yelled as if that posed as a problem.
"Then get them." Said Hatori.
"There are girls back there!" Kyo yelled.
"So?" Said Hatori.
"I'm…NAKED…" said Kyo quietly for the first time in his entire life.
"Oh." Said Hatori, reaching back to grab the clothes. He turned around for a SPLIT second to see where the clothes were located, grabbed them and handed them to Kyo. Kyo began getting dressed but he noticed that Hatori was watching him.
"Why are you watching me?!" he demanded.
"Oh, sorry." Said Hatori, facing forward to see that he was heading towards a curve on the road and there was a huge tree…BEING there. Before he could react or realize that he was just about to drive into a tree that was being there, he had already crashed into it and since this was some sort of freak old car, no matter how unrealistic it seems, there were NO AIRBAGS so not only did Hatori hit his head on the steering wheel, but Kyo was launched through the windshield and sent hurtling into the air. Luckily, since cats always land on their feet, Kyo…well… he landed on his feet. AND because of the sudden force of hitting the tree, Akito fell out of the window since he was stupid enough to hang out the window like a fool in the first place.
Unfortunately, the gas tank was punctured and since this is a freak OLD car, the gas tank was right over the engine so the hot engine caught fire and immediately exploded into flames.
OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
WHO DESIGNED THIS FREAK OLD CAR!?!?!?
MEANWHILE!!!
"I am so hungry." Said Shigure, opening the refrigerator and looking around as if it would change from last time. "Nothing is in here. Except baking soda and Tupperware. And Yuki won't even share his granola."
"It's mine!" said Yuki. "You said yourself that the Year of the Rat people owned it!"
"If my stomach growls one more time then I'm going to turn into Black Haru." Said Haru randomly as he let the butterfly fly away.
"Aww…" said Momiji who had STILL been staring at it.
"Oh like we can't handle little midget Black Haru." Said Ayame.
"Ayame, don't provoke him." Said Shigure. "You'll only make him turn into Black Haru faster!"
"Good!" said Ayame. "It'll get it out of his system and give us something to do with our time until Hatori comes back with armfuls of food!!"
"That made me hungrier." Whined Haru.
"Just think of what we could be having once he comes back!" said Ayame as he started fantasizing. "Hamburgers… cheeseburgers… steak… other things made out of cows…"
"That wasn't funny." Said Haru, looking ALMOST disgusted. "That wasn't even CLEVER."
"Ayame, you just got dissed by a six-year-old." Shigure chuckled.
"NO!!" Ayame argued.
"Nice argument." Said Haru.
"It happened again!!" Shigure laughed heartily as he clutched his stomach like Santa Claus as if it was REALLY that funny.
"I could STEP on him!" said Ayame, trying to make a brilliant comeback.
"I could step on you…when we're animals." Said Haru.
"Ayame, stop letting Haru dis you." Said Shigure, immediately stopping his laughter. "Twice is okay but three times is just making us older wave look bad."
"It's not like his comebacks are CLEVER or anything!" yelled Ayame.
"They're better than yours." Said Haru.
"Okay, Haru, that's enough." Said Shigure. "It's not funny anymore."
"Whatever." Said Haru as he turned around and faced the wall to count the cracks in the old peeling paint.
MEANWHILE!!!
"Tohru, how many times have I told you not to throw me into the lake after a turn into a seahorse?" Hatori questioned Tohru as he walked out of the omnipotent lake that was REALLY big, fully clothed but also very wet. "And why did you even hug me in the first place?"
"I thought your head was stuck and I figured the only way to get you out was to turn you into the seahorse!" Tohru explained.
"I was practically out of the car." Hatori said. "I think you just enjoy turning us into animals. You do, don't you?"
"No I do not!" Tohru gasped. Then she turned around to Kyo who was standing there because he felt like it. "Oh Kyo! You're okay after being thrown through the windshield!! YAY!!" Then she hugged Kyo and he, of course, turned into a cat!
"What'd you do that for?!" Kyo yelled.
"I'm sorry!! That was an accident!!" Tohru said nervously. And then she looked at Hatori. "I forgot for a minute!"
"No. You enjoy it." Hatori said with a nod. At that point, he took the time to scan his surroundings while Tohru argued with him that she did NOT enjoy turning them into animals. He then noticed that the grocery store was AWK!! RIGHT THERE!!!
"LET'S GO!!" cheered Kagura since she hasn't said anything yet.
MEANWHILE!!!
"Haru, give us the ladder back!" Shigure yelled. Haru had climbed up into the loft and pulled the ladder up with him so he was unreachable.
"Make me!" Haru said, poking his head out where they could see him. He then disappeared into the loft where he could not be seen. "I HOPE YOU DIDN'T LIKE THIS!!!" he yelled suddenly.
"YES I DO!!" yelled Shigure.
"It's not yours, Shigure!" yelled Haru. "It's Ayame's!" At the sound of his name, Ayame rounded the corner.
"Yes?" he said.
"I think Haru's going to do something horrible to your poor innocent shirt." Said Momiji.
"WHAT?!" Ayame yelled, running over to where Shigure was.
"I thought you were getting the ladder in the garage!" Shigure yelled at Ayame just as they heard a loud RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIP!!!
"MY SHIRT!!!" Ayame gasped, slapping his hands on his cheeks.
"No, it's a dress!" Haru said, dropping the tattered piece of clothing over the edge of the loft and let it flutter down to the ground.
"I…LOVED this!" said Ayame, catching what remained of his piece of clothing.
"Hope you can catch!" said Haru as he put Ayame's suitcase right on the edge of the loft and started throwing down all his clothes and other accessories over it like it was confetti. "WOW!! A brick!" And then he dropped it down RIGHT ON AYAME SINCE HE HAS SUCH GREAT AIM!!!
"HEY!!!" yelled Ayame.
"IT'S RAINING!!!" Haru said as if it was a party.
"Ayame, why did you have a brick in your suitcase?" Shigure questioned.
"LOOK!! ANOTHER BRICK!!"
"I didn't! He must have pulled it out of the wall!"
"A TABLE!!"
"He can't do that!"
"He just pushed a table over the edge, why can't he pull out some bricks from the wall!"
"WOW!! A MATTRESS!!"
"Stop throwing stuff over the edge, Haru!" Shigure yelled. "You're making a mess of the lodge!!"
"AN ANVIL!!"
"What?" Shigure yelled. "Not only is there NOT an anvil up there but there is no way that you would be able to lift it!"
But he was surprised because…AN ANVIL CAME DOWN AND BARELY MISSED HIM!!!
"My anvil!!" Ayame gasped but then he paused. "Wait…no, I didn't bring an anvil."
"And…a LADDER!!" Haru continued as he then tossed the ladder down over the edge. Then there was silence for a moment. "Oops."
"All right, we're coming up there!" Shigure yelled as he grabbed the ladder and tried to put it in place, making a simple task a whole lot harder than it actually was by spinning around in circles while holding the ladder and knocking over many breakable items before finally resting it into place. He and Ayame climbed up the ladder cautiously and looked around just in case Haru happened to come across another anvil.
But, much to their horrid surprise, they discovered Haru sitting on one of the beds facing the wall and hunched over.
"Go see what he's doing." Said Ayame, pushing Shigure forward.
"Why should I?!" demanded Shigure. "You're the one who provoked him in the first place!"
But then they decided telepathically to just go over at the same time so they did only to find that Haru was coloring.
"What are you doing?" Shigure asked, sounding quite annoyed.
"Coloring." Haru replied very stoically.
"Where did you get that coloring book?" Ayame questioned.
Haru looked around and then pointed vaguely at the floor.
"Why don't you color downstairs?" suggested Shigure.
"Okay." Said Haru as he got off the bed, grabbed all the colored pencils and the coloring book and climbed down the ladder.
MEANWHILE!!!
"All right, I'm ready to pay now." Hatori came VERY close to calling as Kyo, Kagura and Tohru came around the corner with a product or two in their hands. "Okay, Tohru, did you remember to get Yuki something too?"
"Yes!" said Tohru. "I got him some leeks, onions, cheese and miso because he asked me to get that stuff for him!"
"I HATE THAT STUFF!!!" screamed Kyo.
"And what did you get yourself?" Hatori asked since he is EVER so patient and good at ignoring Kyo.
"Strawberries!!" Tohru exclaimed as she handed all the stuff to Hatori.
"Here's all my stuff." Said Kagura, putting a whole basket full of assorted junk food on the table.
"And…Momiji's snacks?" Hatori asked.
"I got him some…celery." Kagura replied, putting the celery on the table as well.
"Is that all?" questioned Hatori.
"Yes." Kagura answered, nodding.
"And…Kyo?" Hatori said, turning to Kyo who was still fuming about the fact that Tohru had picked out leeks, onions and miso. "What did you get for yourself and Haru?"
"Well, I was going to get milk for Haru since I don't really know what he likes but then I remembered that I wanted milk and not to mention the fact that it would be a waste of money since he can probably produce his OWN milk!!" And then he exploded with cruel chuckling.
"Kyo, that's not funny." Said Hatori.
"Sorry." Said Kyo.
"So what did you get him?" Hatori led.
"I also got myself some tuna fish, mayonnaise and some bread so I can make myself a sandwich." Kyo continued.
"And what did you get…"
"I wasn't DONE!! I was GOING to say that I also got myself some fish sticks for breakfast and some…"
"Fish sticks for breakfast?" said everyone in the entire store, including the very patient man behind the counter as well as the very patient people who were waiting in line and the very patient Hatori.
"YES!!" yelled Kyo. "You're going to have to COOK them for me of course!!"
"All right, that's all well and good but what did you get for Haru?" Hatori said.
"I ALSO got myself some Swedish Fish…I'm not getting them just because they have the word 'fish' in the name, like you probably think, I just like them. The same with these Goldfish that I got for myself too."
"Kyo, I don't want to hear about what you got for yourself anymore." Hatori confessed. "Just give me everything that you got yourself and tell me what you got Haru so I'll know that you got him something."
"I don't know…can't he just eat grass?" Kyo asked.
At that point, Hatori decided that he would just reach off the screen and grab something for Haru since Kyo OBVIOUSLY didn't get him anything. After purchasing all their items, they all frolicked outside except for maybe Hatori who just walked out.
"Oh no." said Hatori as he just realized something. (since he did.) "Now we have to walk home with all this stuff." And HE was especially upset because he had to carry most of the stuff and would have to deal with all the whining children.
"I DON'T WANNA WALK HOME!!!!" Kyo screamed so the whole world shook.
"I don't either…" said Kagura slowly.
"Can we call someone?" asked Tohru.
But RIGHT THEN AND THERE, a car drove by.
And then another one drove up and stopped in front of them. "Wow! Imagine seeing you guys all the way out here!" said the man in the car as he rolled the window down.
"SHISHOU!!!" HOLL-ered Kyo louder than before.
"KYO!!!" Shishou-sama bellowed knavishly as he reached through the window with his arms outstretched. Kyo leapt into them and they proceeded to nuzzle each other for a minute or two before Hatori finally cleared his throat.
"Are you by any chance going in that direction?" Hatori asked, pointing in the direction of the little cabin.
"Um…yeah." Said Shishou-sama.
There was a pause.
"Can we have a ride?" Hatori prompted.
"OH SURE!!!" laughed Shishou-sama as he pressed a button and all the doors in the whole car opened since he has a freak NEW car as opposed to a freak OLD car.
Everyone piled into the car and Shishou-sama began a-driving contently with horseshoe eyes. Luckily, they didn't crash or anything.
"So why are you far away from your house and car-less?" asked Shishou-sama randomly.
"Well, we got into a little accident." Hatori replied. "Right…there." And they passed the mound of burning rubble right then and there. At that, Hatori spotted a little gingerbread figure lying very close to the burning car. After a moment of being in a stupefied state, Hatori demanded that Shishou-sama turn the car around.
"Whyever for?" asked Shishou-sama.
"Because…" Hatori answered as Shishou-sama turned around and they stopped by what was left of the car. He hurried over, grabbed Akito, tossed him in the car and then got back in. Shishou-sama stared at Hatori for a minute and then started the car up and began a-driving AGAIN.
A little while later, they came to the cabin and after a very teary goodbye, Shishou-sama was gone, his only point being to get them home from the grocery store because no matter how unrealistic this story is, no one, not even a cartoon character, is going to walk thirty miles with a bunch of kids and lots of groceries.
"We're back!!" Tohru said happily as she kicked the door open. Everyone turned around and looked at the ones in the doorway.
"Hatori, did you go swimming in your clothes again?!" demanded Ayame. "How many times do I have to tell you that you're not supposed to do that?!"
Like always, Hatori ignored Ayame and started putting the groceries away since he is SO mature.
"Haru, would it offend you if I made hamburgers?" Hatori asked. "I wasn't thinking when I bought it."
"Obviously not." Said Haru.
"Haru's been really vicious with the dissing lately." Said Shigure.
"That was vicious?" Hatori said with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm not hungry anyway." Said Haru as he went back to his coloring.
"Neither am I." Said Yuki who was still gnawing away at his granola.
"Well, we'll have hamburgers anyway and Haru can have something else." Said Hatori who then took this opportunity to look around at the cabin's current condition. What with the…mattress, table, anvil, bricks and all the breakable items in ten thousand pieces…that made him stop to think just what went on.
"Okay…what happened?" he asked Ayame and Shigure.
"Haru turned black." Said Ayame.
"Why?" Hatori asked.
"Because Ayame was threatening to eat hamburgers." Shigure answered.
Hatori then looked at the hamburger package he had in his hand. "We'll just have pizza tonight." Said Hatori as he pulled some frozen pizza out of a bag and then put the hamburgers in the freezer.
"YAY!!!" cheered all the kids as Hatori put the pizza in the oven.
"WHEN is it going to be ready?!" Kyo yelled, turning on the stove light and watching it cook. "Is it done yet?!"
"When this timer reaches zero, it'll be ready." Said Hatori setting the timer on thirteen minutes.
"Okay." Said Kyo, sitting up on the counter about a foot away from the timer to make sure he got a good seat. "I'll tell you when it's ready." And then he fixed his eyes on the timer and didn't appear to be moving…or blinking…AT ALL. Hatori waved his hand in front of Kyo but he didn't flinch.
"We should remember this." Said Shigure.
"Now it's going to be quiet for thirteen minutes." Said Hatori.
"Twelve, actually." Said Ayame.
"Maybe we could try and get this mattress back upstairs." Said Hatori.
"NO!!" yelled Momiji. "We're playing on it!!" And then the three elders watched as Momiji, Tohru and Kagura played happily on the mattress as if it was really all THAT fun.
"This is REALLY good!" said Yuki as he walked by with his granola.
"I'm going to take that away from you just because you're enjoying it way too much." Said Ayame.
"But it's GOOD!!" said Yuki.
"THAT'S IT!!!" yelled Ayame, tearing the granola out of his hands. "You've pushed me beyond my limit! I'm going to put this someplace where you'll never find it and where you can't reach it either!" He then grabbed Tohru who was enjoying herself on the mattress and then thrust her into Yuki who, of course, turned into a rat. Ayame then dropped a spare shoebox that was lying around on top of Yuki so it was like a little cage and then ran off laughing diabolically.
He was trying to find the best spot for the granola to be hidden. He finally came to the conclusion that Yuki would NEVER go on the roof so after retrieving the ladder from the garage that we stated previously existed, he climbed up and was just about to drop the granola and run when he saw a little backpack and a pink sleeping bag sitting on the roof.
"So here's Yuki's stuff…" said Ayame, opening the backpack to see all of Yuki's clothes and his toothbrush and other things like that. He then zipped the backpack up, dropped the granola and climbed down the ladder, leaving all the stuff on the roof. INTENTIONALLY!!!