Eventually, they all returned home and much to their surprise, all the water in the entire house had flowed out the door but it was still wet and stupid in the house!! Also, since it had stopped raining, Kyo wasn't grumpy anymore. He was just LOUD and ANNOYING.
"There's still the problem that Shigure dropped all our food in the water." Said Ayame, picking up a soggy box of cereal.
"We can still use the stuff that was in containers or plastic bags!" said Shigure as if he had planned it all along and picked up a loaf of bread in a bag as well as some peanut butter.
"So you're saying that we're going to live on peanut butter sandwiches?" Hatori said.
"We could always go out and get some more food but…" started Ayame as he suddenly looked despaired. "The car…it's ruined."
"Will you two stop bringing that up?" Hatori sighed. "I do ONE thing wrong and I'm branded for life."
They searched through the pile of wet food to find things that could be saved.
"Actually, the only things here that are actually ruined are the hamburgers, the fish sticks and the cheese." Hatori observed.
"And this soggy box of cereal." Ayame pointed out since he was still holding it since it was his favorite box of cereal and now he was sad that he couldn't eat it because it was soggy.
"It's bacon!!" cheered Shigure suddenly as he picked up a package of bacon that was on the floor but now it isn't because he picked it up. "You didn't tell me that you got bacon!!"
"I assumed you knew since you asked specifically for it." Said Hatori.
"If somebody had told me that we had bacon then we could have eaten HERE and not gone out to that CRAZY restaurant!!" Shigure said as he started bouncing up and down on his spot while chanting 'BACON BACON BACON!!!'
"I'm HUNGRY!!!" screamed all the kids since none of them really ate.
"Too bad." Said Hatori. "Go off and do something to entertain yourselves."
"What'll we do?" whined YOUR favorite child.
"I don't know." Hatori replied. "Be inventive. Use your imaginations."
"Let's go play hide and seek!" said Tohru. Since everyone loves Tohru and wants to please her, they all decided to play hide and seek with her and they all made Momiji be the counter because he's small, young and easy to push around. Yes, I know Haru could potentially fall into that very same category but he's anything but easy to push around! HAW HAW HAW!!!
Then they all ran off while Momiji counted.
"Um…shouldn't we make them some breakfast or something?" Shigure asked, caressing the bacon as if it were his firstborn child. "Like some bacon?"
"Shigure, we already went out to eat." Said Hatori.
"But I think they're still hungry." Shigure said, inching closer and closer to Hatori as if getting closer to him would convince him.
"They forgot about it and went outside to play." Said Ayame, sitting down, crossing his legs in a feminine way and picked up his Vogue magazine.
"But the bacon will go BAD." Said Shigure.
"No it won't." said Hatori.
"But we should eat it anyway."
"We'll have it with lunch, is that all right?" Hatori compromised.
"But bacon is a BREAKFAST item!"
"Then we'll have it for breakfast tomorrow then."
"NO!!!" yelled Shigure, throwing a temper tantrum.
"Don't worry, lunch is only in a few hours." Said Hatori. "I'm sure you can wait that long."
"Fine." Said Shigure, scoffing. "But only because I'm mature."
"Right." Said Hatori. "Why don't you go for a walk in the meantime? When you get back, there will be a nice BLT sandwich for you."
"Oh good!" said Shigure. "Just hold the sandwich, the L and the T." And with that, he pushed the door open and went on his walk.
MEANWHILE!!!
"READY OR NOT HERE I COME!!!" screeched Momiji in his horrible dubbed voice but then it turned back a second later so don't worry. He searched around for about five seconds and then found Kyo sitting up on the roof. "I found you!!"
"You have to tag me!" Kyo called down from the roof.
"That's not fair!" whined Momiji.
"It's the RULE." Said Kyo, crossing his arms.
"Fine." Said Momiji. "How'd you get up there?"
"Like I'm going to tell you!" laughed Kyo.
"Well I'm not leaving until you come down!" said Momiji.
"I can stay up here all day!" Kyo said with a feh. Of course, Momiji didn't last more than thirty seconds before he got bored and went off to find someone else to tag.
"GOALS!!!" came Kagura's squeaky voice. Momiji turned around to see that…KAGURA HAD GOTTEN TO THE GOAL BEFORE HE COULD TAG HER!!! OH NO!!! Even though all you old-school hide-and-go-seekers know that there is no goal or tagging in REAL hide and go seek.
"Aw man!" sniffed Momiji. Even if he had found Kagura and had a head start, he probably wouldn't be able to catch her anyway considering the age and size difference.
"I can tell you where Yuki's hiding!" whispered Kagura. "I saw him go into his hiding spot! He's under the porch!!"
"Okay!" said Momiji, feeling evil as he tiptoed over to the porch and looked under it and saw Yuki immediately because his eyes glowed. "FOUND YOU!!!"
"You have to tag me!" said Yuki. "Come and get me!"
"I don't want to!" complained Momiji. "It's dark and scary and there are spiders under there!"
"Then you might as well go away." Said Yuki. "I can see Haru from here. Go and tag him."
"Okay!" said Momiji knavishly as he skipped off and found Haru in record-breaking time since Haru wasn't exactly hiding. He was just sitting on a rock looking very spaced out while still wearing Hatori's wet jacket whereas everyone else changed while no one was looking.
Momiji ran up and even though Haru was about ten feet in front of him, it took him about an hour, MAYBE MORE, to get over to him and finally tag him. "I got you!" Momiji cheered, jumping up in the air and stopping to catch his breath.
After a few seconds, Haru turned his head and face Momiji as if he just noticed that he was there. "What?" he said.
"Hide and go seek!" said Momiji. "I tagged you! Now you're 'It'!"
"Oh…" said Haru. "I'm not playing."
"What?" Momiji said, looking hurt. He sniffled a few times before bursting into tears.
Just then, Tohru came out of her hiding spot that was right behind a tree that was next to Haru just for convenience. "You can tag me, Momiji!" she said.
"YAY!!" cheered Momiji as he tagged Tohru. "TOHRU'S 'IT'!!!"
MEANWHILE!!!
Hatori and Ayame were both sitting inside reading their various reading things. It was pretty silent.
"So…why DID you erase our memories?" asked Ayame suddenly.
"What?" Hatori asked, playing dumb.
"Don't play dumb!" yelled Ayame.
"I, Hatori, do not play dumb." said Hatori, not looking up from his book.
"PLEASE tell me!!" begged Ayame, throwing his magazine aside and getting down on his knees. "I won't tell Shigure!!"
"No." said Hatori, turning himself so that he wasn't facing Ayame anymore.
"PLEASE!!!!" he continued plead, repositioning himself so he was in front of Hatori again.
Hatori sighed, put down his novel, faced Ayame properly and leaned over.
"Are you telling me?" Ayame asked excitedly.
But instead, Hatori just put his hand on Ayame's face and there was a flash of light and Ayame was thrown back onto the ground!! AW!!!
After a moment's silence, Hatori gave a sigh of relief and picked his book back up, waiting for Ayame to regain consciousness.
MEANWHILE!!!
"GOT YOU!!!" shrieked Tohru as she jumped on top of Yuki in vain attempt to slow him down as he made his way closer to the goal. You know what comes next, don't you? If you don't then you are not a real fan of Fruits Basket and are just reading this story because you love US. Which we would completely understand if that is true because we would do that too if we were you and not us.
So, if that's true, then Yuki turned into a rat because of his Zodiac Curse that effects certain members of the Souma family.
"HA HA HA!!" laughed Kyo from the roof. "Stupid rat!!"
"That's not funny." Said Yuki.
"I'm so sorry!" said Tohru as she tried to collect up all of Yuki's clothes.
MEANWHILE!!!
We'll pretend as though a little while passed and Hatori decided to start on those BLTs. He got up and buttered the pan and laid out the bacon all nicely and perfectly and was just about to turn on the stove when he suddenly realized that it didn't work!! After a moment of being puzzled, he remembered that the power had gone out the night before.
He stood there for a minute and tried to contemplate his next plan of action. He couldn't very well NOT make BLTs because he already promised Shigure that he would make them and Hatori Souma is a man of his word!! So he decided that maybe it would be fun to have a cook out so he went into the basement to find the grill and a few spatulas and some coal and set up outside on the porch.
"Hatori, Kyo won't get off the roof!!" yelled Momiji. "We can't tag him when he's up there and I've already been 'It' THREE TIMES and he hasn't been 'It' a single time and that's not fair!!"
"Life's not always fair, Momiji." Said Hatori.
"HA HA!!" laughed Kyo.
"What are you making?" asked Kagura.
"Um…bacon." Hatori replied as he poured some coals in the grill.
"On a grill?" asked Tohru.
"Yes." Said Hatori. Just then, Ayame came outside looking rather dazed.
"Hatori!" he said. "When did you wake up?"
Hatori didn't answer. He only disregarded Ayame, hoping that maybe if he ignored him, he would go away.
"HELLO?!" Ayame yelled, slapping him on back.
"What is it?" Hatori asked.
"Um…" Ayame started as he looked around the yard to see all the small children standing there like fools. "Where are we?"
"It doesn't matter." Said Hatori.
"What are you doing?" Ayame asked, looking at the grill and then at the perfect bacon strips that were on a plate next to them. "Bacon doesn't go on a grill. I thought you were smarter than that."
"The power went out."
"When?"
"Last night."
"I don't remember that…"
"That's okay." Hatori assured him as the coals heated up just right then and there. They're SUPER COALS!! Then he started laying out the strips on the grill and started making some bacon. There was a span of about five minutes and everyone was still in awe that this was actually working. Just to tell you, kids, this doesn't REALLY work and don't EVEN cook bacon on a grill unless you have a freak grill.
Suddenly, Shigure came running around the corner chanting 'BACON BACON BACON!!!'
For some reason, Tohru was REALLY happy to see Shigure so she jumped up and hugged him and he turned into a dog!! AWK!!
Then he continued running as if that didn't even happen and went straight over to the grill. "I smell bacon!!" he said, jumping up and down. "What's in the grill?! What's in the grill?! I can't see! Oh please, PLEASE give me what's in the grill!! Yummy, chewy, crispy BACON!!!"
"Jesus tap dancing Christ!!" said Ayame. "Calm down, Shigure!!"
"Um…here." Said Hatori giving Shigure a finished piece of bacon.
Shigure chewed the bacon very loudly and excitedly. "IT'S BACON!!!" he cheered, doing a little doggy jig.
"Shigure, that wasn't part of the commercial." Said Ayame. "The dog definitely did not do a little jig at the end."
"Are you sure?" said Shigure. "It was Dog-O-Vision so there's no way you can ACTUALLY tell."
"You'd be able to see the Dog-O-Vision moving around as if it were doing a little jig." Said Ayame.
"Maybe it was while they were showing the product and you didn't actually SEE the dog OR the Dog-O-Vision." Said Shigure. But then he paused. "Wait…why are you cooking bacon on a grill?"
"Because the power's still out." Hatori replied.
"STILL?!?!" yelled Shigure. "Haven't you DONE anything about it yet with your magical seahorse powers?!"
Hatori paused. "Well, Shigure, I refuse to speak to you anymore while you're a dog." He said. "I just can't take you seriously."
"I've carried on PLENTY of conversations with you while you were a seahorse the whole time!" Shigure argued.
"That's YOU." Said Hatori.
"Nu nu nu." Said Ayame.
"Is the bacon ready yet?" whined everyone at the same time, including Hatori. HAW HAW HAW!!! He didn't really.
"No." said Hatori as he tried to hide the fact that all the bacon was falling through the cracks into the coals and crisping up. He hoped they didn't notice as he fished through the coals to get the bacon that was all crispy and black and burnt.
Just then, Shigure turned back!! YAY!! After all, his only purpose for being a dog was for that whole scene.
So Shigure went inside to put some clothes on. And when he came out, Hatori was ALL done with the bacon!!! SURAH!!! Of course, Hatori declared that he would simply adore making the BLTS while no one was watching him and all by himself so he ran inside and gave himself all the bacon that didn't fall through the cracks while everyone waited patiently and innocently outside.
Only after going inside did he realize that they didn't have any tomatoes or lettuce and the bread was nowhere to be found!! ATOR STYLE NO!!
So Hatori only came back outside with his plate of bacon and set it on the table.
"There." He said, grabbing three of the best pieces all for himself and then quickly walking off before everyone could realize his fiendish plan.
"Hatori, the way you make bacon sucks." Said Ayame, picking up a piece of bacon as it crumbled.
"MY EARS!!!!" screamed Momiji, throwing his hands over his ears and closing his eyes tightly. Ayame noted that Momiji had at least one good piece of bacon and quickly dropped the burnt crumbs in front of him and swiped the good piece. Then he stole Yuki's and didn't even bother trading, exchanging or tricking him…just because he could do that kind of stuff.
"HEY YOU JERK!!" yelled Yuki as he burst into tears as if bacon was really all that big of a deal. It was Momiji-dub-voice style crying but it was real.
"Hey, I thought we were going to have BLTs." Said Kyo as he hopped down from the roof to see the remaining three pieces of bacon which were only three charred blocks.
"Are you gonna finish that?" Shigure asked, leaning over to Haru who was eating EVER so slowly.
"I WASN'T but since you asked me, I'm going to." Said Haru who had three good pieces because he was the first one there. Yes. Yes he WAS the first one there since he's so fast. Okay, he was IN on Hatori's little plan.
"Is this really all we're going to have for lunch?" asked Kagura since she was stuck with bad pieces.
"I like them!" said Tohru, trying to be polite.
"HEY!!!" yelled Momiji. "WHO TOOK MY BACON?!?!"
Everyone turned their heads away and started twiddling their fingers. Momiji started Momiji-dub-voice crying too.
"I'm taking Akito's bacon." Said Shigure, leaning over and snatching the bacon from in front of Akito who was lying on the table like a lump. "He doesn't want it. He told me."
"Whatever." Said Hatori.
"Can we have something else too?!" whined Kyo. "Like the stuff we bought at the store?! Can I have that?!"
"Yeah…" said Hatori but all the children were running in the house in a cloud of dust and flying paper because they had remembered that they had gotten snacks at the store just for themselves unless someone else had gotten them for them.
"All right…I have leeks, miso, onions and cheese." Said Yuki as he started eating the cheese. It was one of those bright yellow cartoon cheeses that are all 3D and triangle shaped with holes in them and everything. Come on, you know what we mean. If you don't, you need to get in touch with your inner child or just watch more Tom and Jerry cartoons.
"YUM!!" said Kagura as she started eating her junk food and getting more on her face than in her mouth even though she's nine.
"I'll just make myself a better sandwich." Said Kyo as he found the bread with no trouble but then went to find the can opener so he could open up the can of tuna fish.
"I love strawberries!" said Tohru as she started eating watermelons whole without chewing or cutting or spitting out the seeds or anything. Just kidding, she was eating strawberries like a normal person.
"Why didn't I get something cool?" complained Momiji as he ate his celery but then realized that he liked it so he just continued to eat and not complain.
"What is the item you guys got me?" Haru asked as he searched through all the bags of food.
"I don't remember…" said Kagura with her mouth full.
"I bet it was that RIDICULOUS cheese that Yuki is eating!" said Kyo as he searched through the cabinets that would obviously not have a can opener in them but how's HE supposed to know that?!
"NO!!" yelled Yuki before Haru could respond. "IT'S MINE!!!"
"Yeah, I picked that out especially for Yuki!" said Tohru as she shook her finger at Haru as if he had done anything.
"But it IS mine." Haru had already convinced himself. "I asked for it. I've been wanting cheese for a really long time."
"Oh right!" Kyo played along. "I remember you telling me that you wanted some cheese and I picked that out for you!"
"I could have sworn that I picked it out for Yuki…" said Tohru.
"No." said Kyo. "You must have just saw me holding it and thought that you picked it out."
"Oh…" said Tohru since she's a twit and really gullible.
"So it's mine." Said Haru as he walked up to Yuki and snatched the cheese from him. Yuki wasn't about to let a little kid get the best of him!!!
"I'm the rat!" said Yuki. "The cheese is mine!!"
"The cheese is mine or I'll turn into Black Haru." Haru threatened.
"You can't do that at will." Said Yuki.
"You wanna bet?" Haru said with a raised eyebrow.
"Fine!" said Yuki with a sniffle. "I didn't want it anyway! I'll just eat my leeks and onions and miso."
"You mean these?" said Kyo as he stuffed the leeks and onions and miso down the garbage disposal and turned it on. "They offended me." He yelled over the loud chopping noises.
"MY FOOD!!" Yuki shrieked, slapping his cheeks.
"You can have a piece of my bread." Said Kyo. "But just because I'm nice."
"That's so nice of you Kyo!" said Tohru as she turned into one of those super deformed people with horseshoe eyes and a crazy background with sparkles and other nauseating things like that.
"But I'm only giving you the end pieces because I don't like them." Said Kyo. Tohru still smiled and giggled. "And you'll have to pick them out of the trashcan too."
"That's not very nice!" Tohru said. "But at least you're giving him something at all!"
"Yeah!" said Kyo. "You should be thankful!"
"Shut up." Said Yuki. "I don't need the bread that YOU threw away! I'll just not eat!"
"You can have some of my strawberries." Said Tohru. "As a matter of fact, take them all! It's the LEAST I can do for all you've done for me!"
"Well…" said Yuki. "Maybe I'll just have ONE."
"YAY!" Tohru cheered.
So the kids sat around for a few minutes in silence except for the sound of their chewing (especially Haru).
"This vacation is so boring!" Kyo whined. "And I can't even sit down cause everything wet and I'll get my butt wet!"
"Yeah." Said Haru as he tossed the crazy cartoon cheese behind him. He didn't really like it anyway.
"Well…" said Kyo. "I'm going to go exploring in the woods. I don't care what the rest of you do."
"Can I come?!" begged Momiji.
"Only if you'll be my slave." Said Kyo.
"Okay!" Momiji agreed. Kyo secretly thought that this would be very fun. Actually, it was THAT secretly because he announced it.
"It'll be fun to have a slave!" Kyo announced. "Does anyone else want to come and be my slave?"
Tohru felt bad for Kyo since no one wanted to be his slave so she volunteered to go as well.
Yuki just didn't want anything to do with Kyo so even if Kyo weren't forcing him to be his slave, he wouldn't have gone.
Kagura just didn't want to be Kyo's slave. She wanted HIM to be HER slave.
Haru just didn't feel like raising his hand.
"LET'S GO!!!!" cheered Kyo as he kicked the door open and paraded off into the horrible, terrible night. Just kidding. It was morning and it was lovely outside.
"All right!" said Tohru excitedly as she grabbed Momiji's hand and ran outside after Kyo.
At that exact moment, the three elders came back into the house through the back door, since Kyo, Tohru and Momiji ran out the FRONT door.