"Well…" said Shigure, pulling a bowl of berries out from behind his back. "When Ayame and I were getting Akito out of the bush, I took it upon myself to pick some berries from the bush we found him in. I tasted them. They're good."
"What kind of berries are they?" asked Hatori.
"Um…black berries?" Shigure said with a shrug.
"They're red." Said Ayame.
"Fine." Said Shigure. "They're RED berries."
"Oh, all right." Said Hatori. He didn't want to admit that he had never heard of red berries because then that would make it look like Shigure and Ayame knew more than him. Little does he know that RED BERRIES DON'T EXIST!!! Well…unless…they DO…but we can pretend they don't if they do. Okay? OKAY?! YOU WON'T TELL ANYONE?!?!
"So we can have berries for dinner?" Shigure asked, eating more berries.
"We will have berries WITH dinner." Hatori corrected, looking in the refrigerator. "Let's just eat this hamburger and tell Haru it's chicken."
"Or we could tell Haru that he's the chicken." Said Ayame. "He'd probably believe us."
"What would we gain from doing that?" asked Hatori.
"Then we wouldn't have to call the hamburger chicken." Ayame explained.
"Wouldn't it just be easier to say that it's chicken as opposed to try to convince Haru that he's a chicken?" Hatori said.
"No." said Ayame.
"Whatever." Said Hatori, not wanting to be a part of this conversation anymore. He then started making hamburger and he made it in however much time it takes to make hamburger.
He set the table all by himself and it was all pretty like with candles and silverware and cloth napkins all folded into shapes of the animal of the person who would be sitting there. In Tohru's case, it was folded into a giant rice ball and in Akito's case…it was a…three-toed sloth!!
But…considering Hatori only bought a single package of hamburger for the ten of them, you can probably assume how big their portions were. Don't blame Hatori! He's most likely an only child so he only ever has to get one package but if we were to go even further, Hatori's still a teenager so his mommy probably does all the shopping anyway. Unless he has some kind of freak childhood that we're unaware of where his parents disowned him because he's a seahorse and he's living on the streets.
SO ANYWAY, enough with tangents, let's continue.
They also had no toppings or bread or anything so all they had was a teeny little slab of meat. But the table settings were nice and they DID have berries.
"Dinner's ready." Said Hatori as he rang a triangle.
Everyone ran over and looked around.
"Where's the rest of our food?" asked Kagura.
"Right there." Said Hatori, pointing to the berries.
"This is all we get?" complained no one in particular.
"What is this?" asked Haru. "I hope it's not chicken or hamburger."
"Why?" asked Hatori.
"Because I hate chicken and hamburger comes from cows." Haru replied.
"Since when do you hate chicken?!" yelled a random older person. It wasn't Hatori though. You know why, right? Right. There was an exclamation point and you should know by now that Hatori does not use exclamation points.
"I always have." Haru answered. "Call my mom if you don't believe me."
"We believe you." Said Shigure. Then they all started eating.
"So…is this chicken or hamburger?" Haru asked.
"No." said Ayame.
"Okay." Said Haru.
"Who wants some of my berries?!" asked Shigure as he picked the bowl up and started passing it down the line of people. Hatori took some because he wanted to be polite since he's that way and Yuki and Momiji took some because they're rodents and they like berries and nuts and things like that. Kagura didn't because at the time, she had gotten up to use the bathroom and forgot about the berries by the time she had come back. Kyo didn't have any because he was upstairs under the bed still. Haru didn't take any because he was preoccupied with chewing at the moment. Tohru didn't take any because she would have felt bad if she had taken Hatori's hamburgers AND Shigure's berries without giving them anything in return. Ayame didn't take any because he was full by the time the bowl got to him.
"Now that it's 8:45…" started Hatori, looking at his watch.
"IS IT REALLY?!" Ayame yelled, slapping his cheeks. "Because I looked at the clock a minute ago and saw that it was midnight so the children should DEFINITELY be in bed right now!!"
"Yeah right!" yelled Yuki.
"Shut up, Yuki." Said Ayame.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" cried Yuki like dub Momiji.
"You all can watch a movie until it's time for bed." Said Hatori as he went over the television cabinet thing that Convenient Store Bob Souma had found for them and looked through the videos that weren't the Jyuunishi dances. "How about The Last Unicorn?"
"That's a girly movie!!!" yelled Kyo who had come downstairs at the sound of the word 'movie'.
"I wanna watch it!" said Momiji.
"SO?!" yelled everyone.
"Well…I kind of wanted to watch it too…" said Tohru.
"Oh…OKAY!!!" said everyone as they put in The Last Unicorn. They watched it contently because they all wanted to make sure Tohru was happy until the movie was over and it was LATE!!!! It wasn't so hard to put the children to bed at that point because they were all either asleep or mostly asleep and then the older people went upstairs.
"Why is it that we go to bed at the same time as them?" complained Ayame.
"Well, there's nothing really to do when they're asleep because we have to be quiet." Said Shigure. "Plus, I'm tired and I don't feel very well."
"WHAT?!" yelled Ayame. "I'm noisy when Yuki's sleeping!"
"Ayame, you're noisy all the time." Hatori pointed out. "And I agree with Shigure this time. You can stay up if you want, Ayame, but if you wake me up then I will have to turn you into a snake by means of Tohru and then tie you in a knot."
"Hatori!" gasped Ayame. "I don't believe you would say something like that!"
"Then I would wait for you to turn back." Hatori continued.
"Wouldn't THAT be a sight?" said Shigure.
THE NEXT MORNING!!!
Just kidding. It's not the next morning.
AT ABOUT 1:37 AM!!!
Everyone was awakened by an unpleasant sound.
"Someone just threw up." Said Ayame.
"Someone else go." Said Hatori.
"I can't." whined Shigure.
"It was just Yuki." Said Ayame.
"You KNOW it was him?" asked Hatori.
"Yeah." Said Ayame. "He's been complaining to me for the past hour that his stomach has been bothering him so wouldn't it just make logical sense that it was HIM and not anyone else?"
"What? Where was I?" asked Hatori.
"You were sleeping." Said Ayame. "I was going to wake you up but I didn't want to be tied in a knot."
"This is different." Said Hatori. "Now go downstairs and make sure it's okay since he's your brother."
"I SHOULDN'T have to go down because he's by brother!" Ayame argued.
"Well, I can't right now, I'm not feeling well." Said Hatori.
"Very well, just because I'm such a great guy." Ayame declared as he got up and went down the stairs. Hatori lied up there, trying to listen to what was going on downstairs but only being able to hear Shigure moaning about his poor little tummy. You KNOW something's wrong with Hatori when he sends Ayame to check on Yuki!!
"Hatori!" Ayame called up the stairs. "It wasn't Yuki. It was Momiji!"
"Fine." Said Hatori, not really knowing how else to respond to that.
There was another unpleasant sound. "THAT was Yuki!" Ayame yelled.
"Ayame, you're making me feel worse." Said Shigure. "I'm going to throw up myself if you don't stop that."
Just then, Ayame came back up the stairs.
"There's no way you took care of that efficiently." Said Hatori as Ayame got back in bed.
"Tohru said she wanted to help." Ayame replied. "So I let her."
"Tohru's only seven years old." Hatori said. "Go back down there."
"If you're so concerned, why don't YOU go down there?" demanded Ayame.
"I think I will." Said Hatori, getting up and calmly walking downstairs, past all the mayhem and into the bathroom where he…WAS SICK!!! ARGH!!! In other words, he vomited. EWEE!!!!
"EWEE!!!" screamed Kagura since she was standing in the doorway.
"All right, the show's over." Said Hatori as he flushed the toilet, sufficiently washed his hands and brushed his teeth. Of course, he said his witty comment BEFORE he brushed his teeth or else that would just be silly.
"OH MY!!!" gasped Ayame who had come downstairs to see what all the commotion was all about even though that was incredibly out of character. "YOU can't be sick, Hatori!!"
"Why is that?" asked Hatori.
"Because Shigure is too." Ayame answered as if that kind of stuff just happened every single day.
"Well, as much as I hate to say it, Ayame, you're in charge." Said Hatori. "I am going to bed and you have to be the one who stays up all night with Momiji and Yuki."
Ayame gasped as if he were offended. "Yuki can die for all I care!" he declared.
"You're not serious." Said Hatori.
"MY SLEEPING BAG IS ALL DIRTY!!!" screamed Momiji from the area where all the kids were sleeping. It was then followed by many whines and cries and even more complaints.
"Go clean Momiji's sleeping bag." Said Hatori as he walked right by Ayame and right by all the kids and made his way to the stairs.
"ME?!" Ayame yelled, appalled. "I'm the HEALTHY one! I don't want to be infected!"
"Ayame, I'm not interested in arguing with you right now." Said Hatori since he was extra stoic in his sickened and weakened state.
"Well I'm not interested and in cleaning up yucky smelly sleeping bags." Ayame said. "And I'm certainly and definitely not interested in sleeping in the same room as you and Shigure since you're both all contaminated and sickly and other nasty things and to be absolutely frank, I don't want to breath the same air as anyone who has just vomited."
"Very well." Said Hatori. "You can sleep down here with the kids."
"But Momiji and Yuki are contaminated too!!" whined Ayame.
"Then they'll come upstairs and you can sleep down here with all those who aren't contaminated." Hatori said finally.
"But then I'll never be able to go back up there!" Ayame continued.
"We're leaving tomorrow anyway, it doesn't matter." Hatori reminded him.
"FINE!!" sighed Ayame. "But only because you two are my best friends!!" He looked at Momiji and Yuki. "Well…I'm not touching them."
Hatori rolled his eyes and found himself carrying Momiji and Yuki upstairs. Momiji and Yuki shared Ayame's bed and Hatori got in his own bed. The three of them didn't get very much sleep because of Shigure who was moaning on and on about his stomach while curled up in the fetal position in the corner of his bed.
THE NEXT MORNING!!! (for real this time)
"RISE 'N' SHINE!!!" Ayame screamed from the top of the stairs. All of the sickly people looked up at Ayame.
"What happened to 'not being able to come up here ever again'?" Hatori asked sarcastically.
"Well…I was going to enforce that but I realize how selfish it was and figured that I should probably be waiting on you all hand and foot!" Ayame explained. Hatori raised an eyebrow and wondered how long that attitude would last. "So I'll make you breakfast!"
"I'm not really hungry, Ayame…" said Hatori. Shigure moaned from underneath his blankets.
"Well then I suppose my work is done." Said Ayame. "I was going to serve you some huge breakfast with all the trimmings and then not do anything more but I guess that's it!"
"What would I ever do without you?" asked Hatori sarcastically.
"I don't know Hatori but without me, you certainly would have done SOMETHING irresponsible that might have really hurt the kids." Said Ayame as he went back downstairs and rounded up all the healthy children and lined them up the way a sergeant would his troops. "All right! With Hatori and Shigure sick, that means that rather than being one third in charge, I am now one hundred percent your ruler and master."
"Ruler and master?" asked Kyo with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes." Said Ayame. "For the remainder of this vacation, you will treat me as you would a god. Or a king. Or your very own father!"
"My father's dead!" said Tohru somewhat happily for such a depressing subject.
"And my father…um...yeah…" Said Kyo.
"Hm…" said Ayame. He was about to think some more when suddenly the telephone rang. Ayame frolicked over to the telephone and picked it up. "Souma residence, this is Ayame speaking. How may I be of service to you?" He paused and listened to the person on the other line talk for a minute. "You're on your way NOW? Uh-huh…at a payphone? No, we haven't left yet. We intend on leaving very soon." He paused again. "Oh so you ARE bringing them? Why would you do that?! You're crazy! Well, I guess I'll see you then. Yes, it will be LOVELY! It WILL be like those parties, now won't it? Ta ta!"
Then he hung up the phone.
"Who was that?" asked Kyo.
"None of your business!" Ayame sang.
"Well, it's obviously someone who's coming here." Said Kyo. "So it WOULD be my business!"
"This only concerns Jyuunishi members." Said Ayame.
"YOU MADE THAT UP!!" Kyo yelled.
"Well, I was going to ask who it was but I guess it doesn't concern ME either." Said Tohru with a silly little laugh.
"Can you tell me?" asked Kagura.
"No, cause you'll tell Kyo." Said Ayame.
"No I won't!" Kagura said. "Whisper it in my ear!"
"You can tell me." Said Haru. "I definitely won't tell Kyo."
"Um…no." said Ayame. "I meant to say that it only concerns Jyuunishi members OVER twelve."
"Then it DEFINITELY doesn't concern me!" laughed Tohru.
"Who was that on the phone?" came Hatori's voice. He had gotten out of bed and was peering over the side of the loft.
"HATORI SOUMA!!" Ayame yelled. "GET BACK INTO BED THIS INSTANT!! We can't have you BEING SICK now can we?!"
"Just tell me who was…"
"NONE OF YOUR EXCUSES!!" Ayame continued. "Now get back in bed!"
"Ayame…"
"Stop! You're only digging yourself in deeper!"
Hatori, like usual, wasn't about to argue more than he needed to (or at all) especially in his state of weakness so he sighed and climbed back into bed.
Ayame climbed up into the loft to make sure everyone was in bed. He walked over to Shigure and stroked his head.
"Poor bow-wow-wog…" said Ayame wistfully. "Get better soon Gure-san. Last night, I was restless."
"Oh Aya…" said Shigure weakly. "With you by my side, I am sure to make a full recovery…"
"Ayame, go downstairs." Said Hatori.
"How rude!" said Ayame. "I come up to check on you sick people and this is how you thank me?"
"WAAAAA!!" cried Momiji in his dub voice. (Has he cried yet in his NON-dub voice? I don't think so actually…) "My tummy hurts!"
"My poor sweet baby brother!" Ayame said as he lifted Yuki's sleeping head off of his pillow and caressed it. "Get better soon!"
"LEAVE ME ALONE!!" Yuki cried.
"I love you too!" Ayame teased as he let go of Yuki's head and went back down the lower level like Hatori had commanded earlier.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang.
"THAT WAS FAST!!" Ayame said as he skipped over to the door and opened it. "KURENO!!"
"Nanoo!" said Kureno. Yes, the chicken is here. And he brought Rin, Hiro, Ritsu and Kisa with him. Sadly, Ritsu was very upset that the group had left without him so Kureno was voted to take him down. Then he was bestowed upon with the responsibility of the three remaining Jyuunishi members as well just because.
Oh, by the way…you know at the WAY beginning I said I might be making some stuff up? Well, here it comes. As far as I know, the chicken has no personality. So I'm just going to make one up for him. It won't be TOO bad considering the fact that he is supposed to be about sixteen or seventeen in this story so maybe I'll get his personality right! And if I don't, pretend as though it's right on target.
"Now we're one big happy family!" Ayame exclaimed.
I assume that if Kureno weren't so gosh-darned obsessed with Akito then the Mabudachi Trio would be the Mabudachi Quartet!
"Where's Akito?" asked Kureno as he put his stuff down and Ritsu, Rin, Hiro and Kisa frolicked into the cabin after him.
"Now where IS the little sunspot?" Ayame asked himself out loud.
"You don't know where he is?!" Kureno asked frantically.
"Well, I'm sure he's around the cabin somewhere." Said Ayame as he looked around. Then he spotted Akito with his head hanging in the sink. "THERE he is!"
Kureno walked over and cradled the not-so-small young child in his arms like a little baby.
"I assume FULL responsibility for him!" said Kureno.
"Oh good!" said Ayame. "Because no one around here had assumed that position yet!"
Kureno chose to ignore that comment.
"So where are everyone else?" asked Kureno.
"Well, Shigure, Hatori, Momiji and my darling younger sibling are upstairs being all…SICK." Said Ayame. "And Kyo, Kagura, Haru and Tohru are over in the corner playing Crocodily-oh-my."
"You're out Kyo!" Tohru laughed as she slapped her hand down on top of Kyo's.
"WHAT?!" Kyo yelled. "We JUST started."
"And you JUST got out." Said Haru as he scooted closer to Tohru so that he could cut Kyo off.
"This game is stupid!" Kyo yelled. "I didn't want to play it anyway!" But he only pushed himself backwards out of the circle and didn't go anywhere.
Suddenly, Ritsu, Hiro, Kisa and Rin came over to the group that were playing hand-slapping games.
"Can we join?" Ritsu asked. "Though I wouldn't blame you if you said no because I am SUCH A TERRIBLE PERSON!!"
"SURE!!" Tohru announced. "THE MORE THE MERRIER!!"
(Remember, we're also pretending as though they ALL know each other.)
Kisa clapped her hands and sat RIGHT down next to Tohru while nuzzling her affectionately.
Hiro felt that he would have NONE of that so he pushed the two of them apart and sat right down in between them and then stuck his tongue out at Tohru. (How old is he? TWO?)
"That wasn't very nice!" Kisa complained. "You should say you're sorry!"
"No!" Hiro said firmly as he crossed his arms. Kisa couldn't argue with THAT logic so she gave up.
Then Kyo realized that they were starting a new game and he couldn't let HIRO take his spot so he make Hiro and Kisa move over even MORE so that he could sit down next to Tohru. Not that that's what he WANTED or anything. He just wanted his spot back.
Rin came over and sat right down in between Haru and Kisa so it made everyone even MORE crowded.
Just as a clarification, Rin is probably about five (we're assuming that she's just a year younger than Haru and Momiji), Kisa's three and since Hiro's a year younger than Kisa, he's probably two. As for Ritsu…um…let's see, he's normally I don't know…twenty-one? So we'll just say that he's eleven. HURRAY!!!
So anyhoo! They resumed their little game until Ritsu got Haru out.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Ritsu yelled. "I'M SO SORRY TO HAVE GOTTEN YOU OUT FIRST!! IF I COULD DECIDE THE ORDER, I WOULD HAVE PICKED ME FIRST BUT NOW IT IS ALL MY FAULT THAT YOU ARE OUT!! I SHALL TAKE YOUR PLACE AS 'OUT'!!"
"Okay." Said Haru as he cut Ritsu out of the game by moving closer to Kagura.
"I'll be in the bathroom…inflicting much deserved pain upon myself." Said Ritsu as he stood up and walked into the bathroom. "NOOOOO!! THE SHOWER IS MISSING!! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!! OH GOMENASAI!!"
Everyone ignored him as usual.