The next week passed much too slowly for Monica's liking. The youngest angel was strung so tightly that Tess and Andrew felt like they were walking on eggshells around her. Tess especially was worried about her angel girl, because Monica had been confiding in her a lot during the week. The older angel remembered one night in particular, one that had given her the first glimpse into Monica's fears. It was about three days after the biopsy, and Monica had woken Tess in the middle of the night with her tossing and turning. Tess only had to turn on the light before realizing that something was wrong. She had gestured for Monica to sit down on her bed, and barely had time to react before the trembling angel threw herself into Tess's arms. Monica had cried for a long time, and Tess knew that it was the first time the young angel had allowed herself to feel anything relating to what was happening to her. They had spent hours talking after Monica calmed down, and the young angel told Tess everything.
"I lie awake at night, so afraid of what's going to happen to me," She had said. "I mean, I know that God is there and everything, but I think I know what Kayla was feeling now. It's like I'm standing at the edge of this dark place in my existence… and I know that I have to go through it alone, because no matter how much you and Andrew want to help me, you can't take this away. And I just feel so lost…" her voice trailed off then and she gave into a new rush of tears. For all her angelic wisdom, Tess couldn't find a single thing to say to Monica. Even telling her that she was never alone seemed redundant, something that left Tess speechless. She just held her and let her cry.
Monica also told Tess another thing that night that caused the older angel to worry. Tess had tucked her friend into bed again, promising to stay by her side until she fell asleep. "Don't tell Andrew anything about tonight," Monica said, her eyes pleading. "I don't want him to know how scared I am."
Tess reluctantly promised, but as her friend drifted into sleep, the older angel found herself growing more and more concerned about what Monica's reasons were. Usually, Andrew was the one Monica went running to when she was scared, and now she didn't want him to know about her fear? Tess knew that eventually Andrew would know that Monica was withholding her feelings from him, and she worried that it would test their friendship. Would Monica be strong enough for that?
***
Finally, the week passed, and Monica found herself sitting in Dr. Vandersluis's spacious office, with Andrew and Tess sitting on either side of her. Dr. Stanton sat in another chair to the side of the desk, holding Monica's chart.
"Well Doctor, what's the verdict," Andrew asked, trying to lighten the mood. Monica stifled a laugh at the irony of that remark. To the young angel, that's exactly what she felt like…a defendant about to be handed a death sentence.
Dr. Vandersluis cleared his throat and said, "It looks like our suspicions were correct. You do have leukemia. To be more specific, you have Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia, ALL for short. It's a form of cancer that attacks the bone marrow and the lymph system, the system that helps the kidneys to clean the blood."
Monica paled a bit. Somewhere in her being, she had known those words were coming, but to actually hear them spoken gave life to a monster that she wasn't sure she was ready to fight. She took a deep breath and said, "What's going to happen now?"
"You're going to be admitted to the oncology ward here, and you'll stay and receive treatment until you go into remission."
"How long?" Monica asked.
"It's hard to say," Dr. Vandersluis told her. "Some patients go into remission after two weeks, and some have to stay two months. It's really impossible to say definitively."
"When?"
"I'd like to admit you tonight, and start your chemotherapy as soon as possible. I want to attack this aggressively, so that we can get your system fighting with us." The doctor made some notes in Monica's chart, and then told them to be back at the hospital admit desk at 5:00 that evening, when he would explain Monica's treatment plan.
The angels were at the correct location that night, with Andrew carrying Monica's overnight bag. Monica herself was dressed in jeans and a sweater, and walked listlessly, barely noticing her surroundings. The nurses took Monica's information down, and then led her to a room where the angel was told to change out of her street clothes. Tess had bought Monica a new nightgown, and the young angel went into the small bathroom to change. She was then told to get into the bed, and another nurse milled around taking Monica's blood pressure, heart rate, and oxygen levels.
While the nurse was checking her over, Monica looked around the hospital room. It was a simple layout, with two hospital beds that could be separated with a curtain, a dresser, a closet, and a small bathroom. Monica glanced at the other side of the room. Nobody was in the other bed, but it had definitely been slept in. There were also a few cards and some flowers on the windowsill. Monica wondered who her roommate would be.
She didn't have too much time to wonder, however, because soon after the nurse finished her business, Dr. Vandersluis entered the room, followed by Dr. Stanton. "Hi, Monica. I see you've gotten time to settle in." Dr. Vandersluis pulled a stool over from the other side of the room and sat down. "I'm going to go over the plan for your treatment with you, so we can start in the morning. The first thing we'll do is put in a Hickman Line."
Monica looked at the doctors with a puzzled expression, "What's that?"
Dr. Stanton smiled. "It's a small tube that we insert under the skin in your chest and feed into one of the main blood vessels leading to the heart. It allows us to draw blood and administer injections easily and quickly, without hurting you. You'll also get all your chemo through the line."
"It's another trip back to the OR, but this one doesn't hurt at all," Dr. Vandersluis added. "We'll do the procedure in the morning, and the only discomfort you'll feel will probably happen tomorrow night."
"When are you going to start chemo?" Tess asked the doctors.
"Within the next few days," Dr. Vandersluis answered. "The chemo will weaken Monica's immune system, so we want to make sure there are absolutely no signs of infection after we place the Hickman line. If all goes well, we'll start chemo the day after tomorrow."
Monica nodded, and then brought her hand to her mouth to stifle a yawn. The others caught her movement though, and Dr. Vandersluis stood. "We should all let Monica get some rest now." Turning to Andrew and Tess, he said, "We'll be doing the procedure in the morning around 10:00AM. She should be done by 11:00 if you want to come back then."
Monica nodded at her friends, and then reached her arms out to them as they went to hug her. Andrew kissed his friend's forehead gently, and whispered in her ear, "I'll only be a phone call away, Angel Girl."
"I know."
Tess hugged Monica too, and then she and Andrew turned and left the room, followed by Dr. Vandersluis.
"Dr. Stanton?" Monica called to the older woman.
The doctor turned back and went back to Monica's bedside, taking a seat in the stool Dr. Vandersluis had occupied. The older woman had a feeling that her young patient might have some questions that she didn't ask in front of her friends. She was just waiting for the right time. Dr. Stanton waited expectantly for Monica to speak. "About the chemo… I've worked with cancer patients and will I… I mean, is my hair going to fall out and everything?"
Dr. Stanton knew that the hair was the least of Monica's worries, but she played along, and answered just the question asked. "Chemotherapy kills off the fastest growing cells in the body, and that's why it works so well against cancer cells. Unfortunately, it does cause most patients to lose their hair."
Monica nodded slightly, and looked at her hands, which were clasped tightly in her lap. Dr. Stanton glanced at the other bed in the room, and her look brightened a little. "I'll bet your roommate will be able to tell you more about what you'll experience," she said. "Her name is Kayla, and she's going through the same thing. She's usually watching television this time of night, but she should be back before too long."
"Ok," Monica said. "Thanks Dr. Stanton."
"You're welcome love," the kindly doctor replied. "I'm on call all night tonight, so if you need anything, just have the nurses page me."
Monica smiled as Dr. Stanton left the room. She sat alone for a few minutes, thinking about her current situation. Dr. Stanton had said that her roommate's name was Kayla. Now, why did she know that name? All of a sudden, it hit her. Kayla Johnston was the assignment that she was originally pulled off of. Could that mean…
"Yes, Monica, you are back on this case," A voice said.
Monica looked up, startled, and saw Sam standing next to her bed. The young angel smiled brightly at him, "Really?"
Sam nodded. "Kayla may be fighting now, but it's going to be up to you to see that she keeps fighting. That you both do."
Monica looked down at her hands again, letting Sam's words sink in. She was about to say something else when she looked up and saw that Sam was gone. She felt too tired to wait for Kayla that night, so the angel laid down and closed her eyes. As she drifted into slumber, she once again heard Sam's words... "it's going to be up to you to see that she keeps fighting. That you both do..."