"Feeling better?" Monica asked Kayla brightly the following morning,
seeing as her roommate was finally waking up. Kayla had slept through
dinner last night despite the Irish angel's attempts to wake her up, so
Monica had finally given up and let her sleep.
"I'm getting there," Kayla replied tiredly as she struggled to sit up in bed, her tired body aching. Uncovering her breakfast tray, she smiled wryly, "You know I must be hungry because this actually looks good."
Monica grinned, actually feeling a bit hungrier herself this morning and she had nearly polished off the majority of her breakfast, "I tried to wake you last night, but you must have been exhausted."
Kayla smiled at the cheerful young woman in the bed next to hers, "You're good to eat breakfast this morning as you are starting chemo today. Sometimes it helps with the nausea," She advised as she nibbled on a piece of toast, "Your friends seemed really sweet."
"Tess and Andrew are wonderful," Monica replied, and Kayla noted how her eyes sparkled at the mention of them, "I'll bet you're anxious to get back to your wee ones."
Kayla smiled faintly, "I do miss them and I only hope that I'll get back to them one day."
"Why hope when you can pray about it, Kayla?" Monica asked gently, wondering exactly where her assignment stood on this issue.
"What? Pray to take away what I never asked for to begin with?" Kayla countered, her eyes shining with a bit of anger, "No thanks, Monica."
"But maybe you're meant to learn something from this experience," The angel offered, deciding to proceed with caution.
Kayla couldn't help but to smile at her new Irish tongued friend, though she was a bit naïve, "You're sweet, Monica, but all I've learned is that I understand now what pain is that is so terrible you wish for death. This disease isn't fun, as you will soon find out unfortunately," She sighed softly as she leaned back on her pillows, "What I still hope to learn is when it is time to give up and throw in the towel."
This woman even speaking of giving up the fight shocked Monica and she struggled for words, "Whatever happened to 'It's over when it's over'? When God says it's over-."
"No, Monica. It's too exhausting and once I no longer have the energy or the will to fight it, I'm not doing it any longer," She stated firmly, with a look letting her friend know that she would not be swayed in this decision.
Biting her lip, Monica took the hint and decided against any further argument at this point, but at least now, she was very clear on what her assignment here was.
***
By 10:00 that night, Monica knew two things.
One was that she was glad Andrew and Tess had visited her prior to her chemotherapy that day. Number two was that she now understood Kayla's statement about wishing for death. Even though she would never wish for it personally, she definitely now understood the concept.
She had been sick so many times that she didn't see how there could be anything left in her stomach. Her throat hurt, her abdominal wall ached so badly it hurt to move, which wasn't a completely bad thing as she was now too weak to consider moving anyway. She had given up hours ago on returning to bed each time the nausea subsided and now just welcomed the cool tiles on the bathroom floor against her hot cheek. Monica felt at this point that she had to remind herself to breathe, as she had never been so sick before and she had to keep reminding herself that she was indeed an angel. Her night nurse, who was not in the best of spirits had finally taken the hint from her whimpers for her to just leave her alone, and had continued making her rounds, leaving the little Irish angel alone to just lie on the floor with tears streaking her pale cheeks.
Even in her current state of mind, she knew that she never wanted Andrew or Tess to see her this way, as she knew how much they loved her and that it would break their hearts. She had asked them to please wait until tomorrow to visit her again, and had explained that she would probably be tired after treatment, but she had no idea.
It was Kayla, who at midnight, hearing that the worst of it seemed to be over for now, helped Monica to her feet and back into bed, despite the exhausted protests from her friend out of fear that moving would cause her to be sick yet again. Getting her situated in bed, Monica's head slumped down to her pillow, uttering nothing more than soft moans mixed with tears. Getting the cloth and water that the nurse had left, Kayla gently bathed her friend's feverish forehead, "It's okay, honey," She soothed gently, feeling terribly sorry for Monica, as Kayla had never seen anyone get quite so violently ill from the side effects of chemotherapy. Picking up the Styrofoam cup off the bedside table, Kayla adjusted the straw and brought it to Monica's lips, "You need to get some of this water in you, Monica."
"I can't."Monica whimpered softly, her Irish voice hoarse.
"Yes, you can," Kayla countered firmly, "The last thing you want is to dehydrate, so you need to get this down. I know it sucks, but this whole chemo thing sucks, and you have to do your part to not make it worse."
"It can get worse?" She whispered, unable to even imagine that at this point.
Unable to keep a sad smile from her face, Kayla continued, "Yes, it can, so do us both a favor and drink this, okay?"
She sighed with relief as Monica finally gave in and drank as much of the water as she could manage, relieved when it didn't make her feel like she needed to dart to the bathroom again, as darting was no longer an option for her tonight.
"Good girl," Kayla said softly, as she returned cup to the nightstand. Seeing that her newfound friend was dropping off to sleep at long last, Kayla covered her with the blanket and with a sad sigh, returned to her own bed for the remainder of the night.
At 9:00 the next morning, the Irish angel was still fast asleep when Andrew and Tess arrived in her room, Andrew carrying a vase of wildflowers and Tess a balloon bouquet. The two angels exchanged worried glances, seeing the paleness of their friend's face as she slept curled up tightly on her bed, and not even Andrew's gentle touch to her cheek caused her to stir.
Kayla looked up at them just as the nurse came into the room to take her to her next chemotherapy treatment, and she saw the concern in their eyes. She didn't feel right telling them too much as she didn't know how much Monica wanted to keep to herself, so she managed a slight smile, "She had a rough night last night," She said simply, deciding not to elaborate on just how horrendous it had been, even from her point of view, "You may want to stop back later, before she goes to her chemo session. She should be awake by then." Getting up, she seated herself in the wheelchair that the hospital insisted upon before the nurse wheeled her away.
"A rough night, huh?" Tess murmured, more to herself than to Andrew, who had taken a seat beside of his friend's bed as he stroked her hair gently.
"She looks so.small, Tess," He whispered sadly, his emerald eyes filled with concern over his gentle friend.
Tess sighed softly, her own expression one of worry, "I know, baby. C'mon, lets you and I go and grab some breakfast and then we'll come back and see if our Angel Girl is awake by then," She waited as he gave Monica's head a soft kiss, before he got up and followed Tess out of the hospital room.
"I'm getting there," Kayla replied tiredly as she struggled to sit up in bed, her tired body aching. Uncovering her breakfast tray, she smiled wryly, "You know I must be hungry because this actually looks good."
Monica grinned, actually feeling a bit hungrier herself this morning and she had nearly polished off the majority of her breakfast, "I tried to wake you last night, but you must have been exhausted."
Kayla smiled at the cheerful young woman in the bed next to hers, "You're good to eat breakfast this morning as you are starting chemo today. Sometimes it helps with the nausea," She advised as she nibbled on a piece of toast, "Your friends seemed really sweet."
"Tess and Andrew are wonderful," Monica replied, and Kayla noted how her eyes sparkled at the mention of them, "I'll bet you're anxious to get back to your wee ones."
Kayla smiled faintly, "I do miss them and I only hope that I'll get back to them one day."
"Why hope when you can pray about it, Kayla?" Monica asked gently, wondering exactly where her assignment stood on this issue.
"What? Pray to take away what I never asked for to begin with?" Kayla countered, her eyes shining with a bit of anger, "No thanks, Monica."
"But maybe you're meant to learn something from this experience," The angel offered, deciding to proceed with caution.
Kayla couldn't help but to smile at her new Irish tongued friend, though she was a bit naïve, "You're sweet, Monica, but all I've learned is that I understand now what pain is that is so terrible you wish for death. This disease isn't fun, as you will soon find out unfortunately," She sighed softly as she leaned back on her pillows, "What I still hope to learn is when it is time to give up and throw in the towel."
This woman even speaking of giving up the fight shocked Monica and she struggled for words, "Whatever happened to 'It's over when it's over'? When God says it's over-."
"No, Monica. It's too exhausting and once I no longer have the energy or the will to fight it, I'm not doing it any longer," She stated firmly, with a look letting her friend know that she would not be swayed in this decision.
Biting her lip, Monica took the hint and decided against any further argument at this point, but at least now, she was very clear on what her assignment here was.
***
By 10:00 that night, Monica knew two things.
One was that she was glad Andrew and Tess had visited her prior to her chemotherapy that day. Number two was that she now understood Kayla's statement about wishing for death. Even though she would never wish for it personally, she definitely now understood the concept.
She had been sick so many times that she didn't see how there could be anything left in her stomach. Her throat hurt, her abdominal wall ached so badly it hurt to move, which wasn't a completely bad thing as she was now too weak to consider moving anyway. She had given up hours ago on returning to bed each time the nausea subsided and now just welcomed the cool tiles on the bathroom floor against her hot cheek. Monica felt at this point that she had to remind herself to breathe, as she had never been so sick before and she had to keep reminding herself that she was indeed an angel. Her night nurse, who was not in the best of spirits had finally taken the hint from her whimpers for her to just leave her alone, and had continued making her rounds, leaving the little Irish angel alone to just lie on the floor with tears streaking her pale cheeks.
Even in her current state of mind, she knew that she never wanted Andrew or Tess to see her this way, as she knew how much they loved her and that it would break their hearts. She had asked them to please wait until tomorrow to visit her again, and had explained that she would probably be tired after treatment, but she had no idea.
It was Kayla, who at midnight, hearing that the worst of it seemed to be over for now, helped Monica to her feet and back into bed, despite the exhausted protests from her friend out of fear that moving would cause her to be sick yet again. Getting her situated in bed, Monica's head slumped down to her pillow, uttering nothing more than soft moans mixed with tears. Getting the cloth and water that the nurse had left, Kayla gently bathed her friend's feverish forehead, "It's okay, honey," She soothed gently, feeling terribly sorry for Monica, as Kayla had never seen anyone get quite so violently ill from the side effects of chemotherapy. Picking up the Styrofoam cup off the bedside table, Kayla adjusted the straw and brought it to Monica's lips, "You need to get some of this water in you, Monica."
"I can't."Monica whimpered softly, her Irish voice hoarse.
"Yes, you can," Kayla countered firmly, "The last thing you want is to dehydrate, so you need to get this down. I know it sucks, but this whole chemo thing sucks, and you have to do your part to not make it worse."
"It can get worse?" She whispered, unable to even imagine that at this point.
Unable to keep a sad smile from her face, Kayla continued, "Yes, it can, so do us both a favor and drink this, okay?"
She sighed with relief as Monica finally gave in and drank as much of the water as she could manage, relieved when it didn't make her feel like she needed to dart to the bathroom again, as darting was no longer an option for her tonight.
"Good girl," Kayla said softly, as she returned cup to the nightstand. Seeing that her newfound friend was dropping off to sleep at long last, Kayla covered her with the blanket and with a sad sigh, returned to her own bed for the remainder of the night.
At 9:00 the next morning, the Irish angel was still fast asleep when Andrew and Tess arrived in her room, Andrew carrying a vase of wildflowers and Tess a balloon bouquet. The two angels exchanged worried glances, seeing the paleness of their friend's face as she slept curled up tightly on her bed, and not even Andrew's gentle touch to her cheek caused her to stir.
Kayla looked up at them just as the nurse came into the room to take her to her next chemotherapy treatment, and she saw the concern in their eyes. She didn't feel right telling them too much as she didn't know how much Monica wanted to keep to herself, so she managed a slight smile, "She had a rough night last night," She said simply, deciding not to elaborate on just how horrendous it had been, even from her point of view, "You may want to stop back later, before she goes to her chemo session. She should be awake by then." Getting up, she seated herself in the wheelchair that the hospital insisted upon before the nurse wheeled her away.
"A rough night, huh?" Tess murmured, more to herself than to Andrew, who had taken a seat beside of his friend's bed as he stroked her hair gently.
"She looks so.small, Tess," He whispered sadly, his emerald eyes filled with concern over his gentle friend.
Tess sighed softly, her own expression one of worry, "I know, baby. C'mon, lets you and I go and grab some breakfast and then we'll come back and see if our Angel Girl is awake by then," She waited as he gave Monica's head a soft kiss, before he got up and followed Tess out of the hospital room.