The next two days past relatively uneventfully, other than the daily blood tests, which never really bothered the Irish angel as it came right from the Hickman line and was more just a matter of having to sit still long enough for the blood to be taken. But not even that was much a nuisance as despite the fact that Monica's spirits remained lifted, she still felt tired quite often and normally just a walk up and down the hospital halls out of boredom would tire her out.

No one had said anything about her going into remission, but she continued to hope this would happen, especially since Kayla seemed to be getting better each day. Her assignment had been more upbeat than usual of late and Monica knew Kayla was hopeful to soon get a clean enough bill of health to be sent home. While Monica was always optimistic in talking to her friend about being released, when alone with her thoughts, she tried really hard not to think about it. But the issue was soon to be forced.

The following morning, the angel awoke and blinked her dark eyes sleepily, contemplating rolling over and shutting out the world for a bit longer, but as she looked over at Kayla's bed, the first thing she saw was her assignment's overnight bag.

"Kayla?" She asked, sitting up in bed and rubbing the sleep from her eyes, which were suddenly full of questions.

Kayla turned around from grabbing a few things out of her closet, a wide grin on her face, "They're setting me free, Monica. All I'm waiting for is the nurse to bring the discharge papers and I am out of here. Finally, this cancer has gone into remission!"

Though a knot appeared out of nowhere in the pit of Monica's stomach, she managed a smile for her friend, "That's wonderful news, Kayla! I think I'd be incredibly excited as well if I were you."

Nodding her head happily, the human didn't miss the slight flicker of pain in her friend's tired eyes. Her smile fading somewhat, Kayla walked over to Monica's bed and sat down on the edge of it, "You know that I will come and visit you and just wait, Monica, it will happen for you too."

"I know," Monica smiled, despite the fact that she didn't feel that optimistic in her heart, "I'm just so happy for you. You've waited a long time for this moment."

"Too long," She smiled, her eyes more alive than the angel had ever seen them. Her smile widened as Vicky came into the room holding some paperwork in her hands,
"For once, Vicky, I am so glad to see you!"

The nurse chuckled as she handed the papers to Kayla, "I'm sure you are as I am holding your ticket out of this place," She teased as she watched Kayla skim the papers and then sign them with the pen provided.

"Signed, sealed and delivered," Kayla pronounced as she handed the paperwork back to the nurse.

"Do you need me to call you a cab or is someone picking you up?" Vicky smiled, enjoying these kinds of moments about her job the most; those moments when a patient was well enough to leave.

"No on both accounts. I think I'm going to walk and enjoy this beautiful day," She replied, "Thanks for everything, Vicky."

"You are quite welcome," The nurse replied with a smile, "But for now, duty calls. Monica, breakfast should be around shortly, honey."

"Thank you," The angel replied softly, though at the moment, food was the furthest thing from her mind. Turning back to Kayla, she smiled, "Well, I guess this is it then. Your life awaits."

Reaching over, Kayla hugged the young angel tightly, "We'll soon be celebrating your freedom as well. You've been a great roommate, Monica. Please make sure to tell Andrew and Tess I said good-bye."

Monica nodded her head as she watched Kayla get up and grab her suitcase as the knot in her stomach twisted.

"I'll be by to see you this weekend," Kayla told her, before she headed for the door, "And I'm sure we'll have some good news by then."

Lifting her hand in a half-hearted wave, the angel watched her roommate and assignment disappear through the door to her room, leaving the hospital room as quiet as it had ever been since Monica had arrived.

Feeling a little shaky, Monica reached to her bedside table and picked up the leather bound journal and her pen. Dating the top of the page, she began.

Kayla has finally gone into remission and was just discharged from the hospital and that just leaves me with one question.

Why am I still here?

She starred at the two sentences written on the page until they blurred and the splash of a tear mixed with the ink. She then slammed the book shut and placed it back where it had been. Lying down, she turned to the only defense she knew at the moment.

Sleep.

****

"Baby, try and calm down a little," Tess said soothingly, later that day, as she sat in the chair beside of her young charge's bed.

"I can't, Tess," Monica argued, on the verge of tears, though she struggled to hold them back, "The assignment seems to be over, so why am I still here? No one has said anything about my getting any better, but yet Kayla has been sent home, so what is the point?"

"You know with the Father there is always a point, Angel Girl," The older angel replied, reaching for Monica's hand and holding it tightly in her own, "Even when we don't know what the point is, He does. There must still be work here for you to do, baby."

"So, do I have to get sicker to accomplish that?" She asked, a tear escaping her eye, "I don't want to do this anymore, Tess. It's too hard! I'm an angel and haven't felt like one in weeks. You try sitting here and doing nothing more than throwing up, feeling tired all the time and not even having the energy to walk to the end of the hall and tell me you wouldn't question things too!" As soon as the words were out, her hand flew to her mouth as with a blink, the rest of her tears spilled over onto her cheeks, "I'm sorry, Tess. I didn't mean that…I wouldn't wish this on anyone…I'm sorry."

With a sad smile, the older angel moved to sit on the edge of her charge's bed and enveloped her in her arms, "It's okay, Angel Girl. No one said this was going to be easy anymore than they said how long it would last. It's hard for all of us, baby. Andrew and I love you and we're worried about you, but the Father has you, honey, just like He always has."

"I know that, I do," She whispered, wiping at her eyes, "I…I just knew that Kayla understood how I felt and no one else really can, because they aren't going through it."

"The Father always understands, Monica, He does know what you are going through and He needs for you to trust Him," Tess replied, running a hand through the younger angel's now shorter hair.

"I'm trying to, but today just threw me for a loop. I never expected this," Monica sighed softly as she pulled away and leaned tiredly back against her pillows, "Please don't tell Andrew what a mess I am, Tess. I just need a little time to get myself together again."

Tess eyed her young charge thoughtfully for a moment before speaking, "You know, baby, one of these days you need to come clean with that angel."

"And I will, when all this is over," She replied sleepily, "Then he won't need to worry."

"Though I think you know this deep in your heart, Miss Wings, I'm going to share it with you anyway," Tess began as she stood up and adjusted the blankets over her friend, "Andrew is your friend and he is going to worry about you, regardless of what you do or don't tell him. You may think that you are protecting him, but he knows you well enough to know that you may not be letting on about a lot of things."

"He sees enough sickness in his job, Tess," Monica countered, though she was becoming increasingly sleepy, "He doesn't need to see this." Closing her eyes to ward off an argument, the young angel fell almost immediately into a troubled sleep.

****

The Irish angel was just finishing up her breakfast the following morning, when she looked up and saw both Dr. Stanton and Dr. Vandersluis enter her room. She smiled in greeting as her heart skipped a beat, unable to hope that this was the news she had been hoping for-that she was in remission, was going home and her assignment was over.

"Good morning, Monica," Dr. Stanton greeted her as the two doctors pulled up chairs near her bed, "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Pretty good," Monica replied, pushing away her breakfast tray, "Still a little tired, but then again, what can I expect from lying around all day?" She smiled, trying to keep her excitement at bay.

Dr. Vandersluis exchanged a look with Dr. Stanton, before he cleared his throat,
"We wanted to talk to you, Monica, about your progress.

Monica swallowed a cry of joy as she waited in heightened anticipation for the one word she had been waiting to hear since that day in the first doctor's office, "What about my progress?"

Dr. Stanton took one look into Monica's eyes, and immediately knew what her patient was expecting. It was heartbreaking. "Monica, we've gotten your latest test results back, and your cell counts aren't normalizing. The cancer wasn't beaten by the first round of chemo."

Monica's heart fell and shattered as it hit her stomach. She suddenly felt as if she was struggling to breathe and she wished more than anything that Tess were here, even Andrew, as she tried to put into perspective what the doctor was telling her, "What…What does that mean?"

"Baby?" Tess' voice sounded as she entered the room and Monica nearly sobbed in relief at the sight of her.

"Tess," She whimpered softly, her pain-filled eyes meeting with her friend.

Nodding to the doctors, Tess was quick to reach her charge's side as she sat down beside of her on the bed and wrapped an arm around her trembling shoulders,
"What is it, Angel Girl?"

Looking to the doctors once more, who were patiently waiting in order to give their patient a moment to explain, Monica managed to say, "I think… I think they're telling me I'm not getting better…"

"What's going on doctor?" Tess asked, her eyes showing her puzzlement. Even she had believed that Monica would start to get better since Kayla had left the hospital.

Dr. Vandersluis glanced at Dr. Stanton and then began, "As Dr. Stanton told Monica, her cell counts are not normalizing, as we hoped would be the case after the first round of chemotherapy."

"And that means what?" Tess asked, her arm still around Monica's shoulders.

"It means that I'm going to have to have more chemo, doesn't it?" Monica's trembling voice broke into the conversation.  "I'm going to have to do it all over again." It wasn't a question; it was more of a statement of resignation and hopelessness.

Dr. Stanton nodded sadly, "Yes, Monica, you are going to have to have another round of chemo. The first round didn't kill all of the cancer cells, so we have to try again."

"And what if this round doesn't work?" Monica asked.

"Worst case scenario is a bone marrow transplant," Dr. Vandersluis interjected.
"but let's not get ahead of ourselves here. There is no reason not to believe that the second round of chemo will kick this thing."

Monica nodded jerkily, and then asked, "Is it going to be as bad as last time?"

Dr. Stanton looked apologetically at Monica and Tess. She knew that as hard as the previous round had been on Monica's system, her patient was not going to be happy with her answer. "Unfortunately, we have to use a stronger combination of drugs this time. The side effects will most likely be slightly worse."

"Worse?" Monica uttered, the tears now unwilling to be held back, "It can get worse?"

"I know this wasn't the news you were hoping for, love," Dr. Stanton said softly,
"But hopefully this will be the last time if all goes well."

But Monica was no longer listening. She had buried her face against Tess's shoulder as soft sobs shook through her, never before having felt so helpless.