"OK, so you have to get first the summation of the x squared, then the y squared, then, get the product of y and x and sum the answer up," said Yuki as he busily wrote down the answers.
Tohru could only watch in amazement. It seems like this guy was deliberately putting the inventor of calculator to shame!
"You may double check it if you have doubts," said Yuki.
She meekly did as told. "All the answers are…correct."
"They should be," said a voice from behind sarcastically. "Even the God of Mathematics knows that Sohma Yuki can never be wrong."
They both turned around and saw Sohma Kyo looking at Yuki challengingly. "Sohma-san!" exclaimed Tohru.
"I will take that as a compliment," said Yuki coolly.
"Great," snapped the orange head back. He looked at Tohru next. "You know what, I do not believe that you are his girl. I don't know why you agreed to whatever his scheme is, but I'm warning you. Don't trust him."
Her face flamed. "Ah!"
Yuki stood up. "Accusing my girlfriend of those terrible things is unforgivable. If you insist though, I have no choice but to beat you up seriously."
"I'm always ready, damn mouse! Show your masculinity in battles and fists, not through using her!" barked the neko.
"S-Stop it, please!" she begged, standing between the Sohmas. A crowd of students were gathering around them already. She turned to Yuki. "Go to the canteen first and buy us some drinks, ok?"
He didn't react.
"Yuki," she whispered beggingly. At last, he nodded. He strode out of the classroom, but not without a glare at his cousin.
"Honda Tohru, if you know what's good for you, drop the act. It will be you who'll lose in the end," said Kyo. "You look like such a nice girl, but he cannot love you. He's-"
"No," said Tohru quietly. "Yuki-kun loves me."
The cat frowned. "Tohru…"
"I believe so…he has a good heart, I know," she finished as she sat down her chair, trembling. Did I really defend Yuki-kun back there? I can't believe I have such guts!
"Alright," shrugged Kyo. "But you must know, he once declared that he loved Kagura Sohma, yet he still didn't appear in the altar the day of the wedding."
Buzzes in the crowd.
"Tohru, I'm just worried about you," said Kyo before he left.
"Kyo-san."
He turned around.
"Thank you for your concern anyway."
"I'm sorry about what Kyo said," Yuki apologized when they were walking home that afternoon.
"It's ok," she said smilingly.
"No, it's not." He sighed. "You must understand why he's so mad at me. It's about Kagura…this girl-"
"I know," she said softly, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Aya-san told me."
He paused.
They were seated in the park bench, eating cotton candy as they watch the sun set.
"It was a long time ago," said Yuki. "I didn't want any relationship with other females. I want to be alone with my books, with my school life. However, our clan head is pressuring me to choose my girl already because…because he knows that I hate women."
"Eh?"
The clan head?
"Why do you hate women?" she asked.
"Because…because I hate my mother," he said quietly.
"Ah!" She was shocked.
"Anyway, Akito arranged me to wed Kagura, my cousin, but I didn't want to. I then pretended to go along with his plan and then, at the day of the wedding, I disappeared. I went with my sensei, Kazuma, to Osaka. I hid there for several days until I heard that Kyo has taken my responsibility out of pity for Kagura."
"Whatever the circumstances were, you shouldn't have…you shouldn't have left Kagura-san," she said softly.
"I know, and I regret my decision." Yuki looked at her. "Kagura is important to Kyo, so I can understand his wrath. We were never friends, but then, with what I did, we became mortal enemies."
Silence.
"Akito, on the other hand, made fun of me in public. When I was going to get my award in the junior high graduation ceremonies, he took the mike and announced that the reason why I didn't appear in Kagura's wedding is because I'm gay." His fists clenched. "It was an issue never talked about out loud in the campus since I am a respected figure there, but behind me were rumors, gossips…"
Tohru bit her lip. "Yuki-kun…"
He laughed bitterly. "What am I saying, confessing all of these to you? You're not a priest!"
"I'm your friend," she said.
He gasped.
"You see, even if our relationship is just an act to fool them, the sympathy I feel for you is real. The concern I have for you is real." She cupped his face with her hands. "At first, I thought you were just another arrogant young man who is too conceited to acknowledge what love is. "
"However…you are just a victim of manipulation. Although I do not approve of you hating your mother, I will still support you. Whatever happens, Yuki-kun, I'll be here for you." Her eyes welled up with tears. "Itsumo."
Yuki looked at the crying girl in front of him. She cries as if she feels his pain too. She cries with understanding. She cries with compassion.
Quietly, he took her hand and brought it to his lips. "Thank you for…being my friend."
When she smiled, he suddenly felt that for the first time in his entire life, he wasn't alone.
"Ah, Tohru-kun, you are troubled! What's wrong?" asked Ayame when he saw his little princess staring at the night sky, as if in deep contemplation.
"Aya-san?"
"Yes?"
"Do you...hate your mother?"
This made Ayame pause. "I…don't know. I never saw much of her. All I know was I was left in the Sohma main house with Shigure and 'Tori. I didn't long for her presence because my cousins cheered me up." He frowned. "Why the sudden curiosity?"
"Aya-san, Yuki-kun told me that…he hates your mother."
Aya looked thoughtful. "I do not know for sure what happened between them…the gap between me and my brother…I'm sorry, but I do not know."
"Aya-san, I want to know."
"Huh?"
"I want to know the things that make Yuki-kun happy…I want to cheer him up."
He blinked.
"It troubles me to see Yuki-kun sad."
His face lit up. "True love! Ah, Tohru-kun, you really are in love with my brother!" He messed her hair fondly. "Wait for me, I'll call 'Gure and ask him Yuki's favorite dish, then you can cook it for him." He skipped down the stairs. "Tra-la-la-la!"
Leaving Tohru stunned.
In love? With him? But it's too soon! It can't be. Love grows through the years.
But what about this thing they call love at first sight?
And it's so easy to fall in love with Sohma Yuki-kun. Dakedo…
Yuki was staring at the night sky, his mind still occupied by thoughts of one girl who shared his pains. As he recalled every word she said, every tear she cried…her touch, her voice…
He crumpled the sheet of paper where he wrote all the reasons why he must not take Honda Tohru seriously.
It was wrong –plain wrong- to toy with someone with such good heart as hers. It was stupid of him to think of hurting her.
So now, he decided to throw away his plan of hurting her.
But still, he was stubborn. If he detects signs that he's losing control of his emotions already, he would stop and break the act. Before his own heart does.
I will not fall in love.
Love is an addiction. It feels good, but in the end, it will be bad for you.
And just as Akito said, women can never be trusted. These direct descendants of the sinful Eve…like my mother.
He heard a knock on his door.
Kyo? No, he would rather jump off the cliff than knock on my bedroom door.
Shigure? He's too intelligent to know the ethics of knocking.
Then who?
"Come in," he said wearily.
"Good evening!" greeted Tohru.
"Ah!"
"You don't look too pleased to see me," she said.
"N-No!" he said quickly. "I mean…I was just…surprised by your…unexpected visit."
"I cooked some leek soup because Shigure-san is feeling a little under the weather-" began Tohru.
Under the weather? Hah! Try under a woman's skirt! thought Yuki.
"-so I cooked more for you," she finished shyly. "I'm not much of a cook though."
"Modesty," he said. "Thanks, Sweetheart!"
Her eyes widened. "Ano-"
"I'll eat it if you feed me," he teased.
"Ah!"
He couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction.
I do not know why my heart jumps whenever she's near. I do not know why her smiles take away my sadness so easily. I do not know how she can calm my fears so easily. I do not know the answers to all of those, except the fact that she makes me happy.
Is this how my brother feels when she's with him too? Is that why he's so happy?
Tohru blew on the soup delicately before spooning it into his mouth. "There!"
"Do I owe you something for this?" he asked.
"Yup!"
"What is it then?"
"Just a cheerful smile from you! When Yuki-kun is happy, I am happy too."
Those simple words…they touched a soft spot in his heart. He felt that those were the most poignant words ever uttered to him in his entire life.
Yuki-kun is smiling again. I'm so glad!
His smile makes my heart spin dizzily. His presence makes my stomach churn, and my body tremble.
Is what Aya-san said true? That I care for him deeply? How can it be?
I may not yet know the answers, but for the meantime, I shall cherish Yuki's smiles and take them in my heart.
tsuzuku