Author's Note: ONE HUNDRED! Qui-ti, you rock! Lord of the Rings Luver, as reviewer 99, Giver of Point-Making Paperclips, and Person Who Manages To Annoy Lia Until She Finally Breaks Down, you rock too! Qui-ti, I'm sorry, but the century reviewer is being saved for the *dum de dum* TORTALL SUPER EPISODE!
Round Castle Reviewers:
Not so faerie L! (I LURVE nit-picking- it's my life)
Crazy 5000 X!
Hayden's Super Hobbit!
Princess-troy!
________! (Worship the Python!)
LadyKnight!
Lady Alehanra AKA Medusagrrl! (Can I just put you in as Zoë? And can you use less slang?)
Qui-ti!
Alannalovingwriter! (You love my work? THANK YOU!)
Queen of Fluff! (Sorry about not replying to your mass email- I don't ever reply to them since one wiped my hard drive.)
Angel of the Storms!
Eve of Mirkwood!
DarkDracon0!
Jolie Anderson!
Lord of the Rings Luver! (You get a cameo here. #99. Thankies! ::takes clips::)
Disclaiming Round Castles:
I own me! Not Les! Les owns herself!
I own my Tammy books! Not Numair! Tamora Pierce owns him!
I own this fic! Not "The _____ Show"! Hikaness owns that!
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I have a stand! Stand! Stand!
His name is Tim! Tim! Tim!
He likes to bite! Bite! Bite!
And fall off the rim! Rim! Rim!
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Voice: LIVE from a shower-curtain tent, it's THE TAMMY SHOW!
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Les: Hello and welcome to THE TAMMY SHOW! Our guest today is ::breaks off:: Lia, not again. Why all the heavy-fangirl guests?
Lia: Good for ratings. Now WELCOME him and get the RLBM!
Both: (with Les grumbling) MASTER NUMAIR SALMALÍN!
Lia: Pretty acute…
Les: I'M the blonde. RLBM!
Lia: You're not a bubble blonde. I'm a bubble brunet. And where are the RLBM?
Les: Hmmm… let me see.
(Numair comes wobbling into the tent, Gift flaring around his hands)
Numair: Where am I, who are you, and what have you done with Daine?
Lia: You're in THE TAMMY SHOW, where we kidnap random Tamora Pierce characters…
Both: AND FORCE THEM TO REVEAL THEIR MOST HIDEOUS SECRETS! MWAHAHAHA… *chokes*
Les: I'm Les, she's Lia, nothing.
Lia: Crazy 5000 X asks who the first woman you slept with was.
Numair: Lilane Magic-Glowing-Cow. She had a magic glowing cow tattooed on her forehead.
Les: Really. Next is from Lady Alehanra AKA Medusagrrl, hereafter known as Zoë. What's your deepest, darkest secret that no one knows?
Numair: The slaves of corrupt skink pelt and marmoset burger tycoons make my robes.
Lia: Qui-ti, we're trying to keep it PG-13 here. Do you eat yummy potato chips?
Numair: Indeed. They too are made by the slaves of corrupt skink pelt and marmoset burger tycoons.
Les: Qui-ti also asks if you have saggy man-breasts yet.
Numair: Of course not! My slave-made chips keep them at bay.
Lia: Finally, Qui-ti asks if you've ever had sex with Daine while she was shape-changed.
Numair: No. It would have reminded me of the bad Lilane experience when she was a M.G.C.
Lia: Mon o mon! Alannalovingwriter asks why you're always compared to ravens or crows.
Numair: Sometimes feathers get into my slave chips. The slaves are half-raven, half-human. Don't want to know how that came about.
Les: And if you're ever going to get married to Daine.
Numair: Maybe. She wants the wedding in January in some "interval plane" so that her parents and her various dead, godly, and immortal friends can come. I want it in a balloon made of slave robes.
Lia: …And why you chose a hawk to shape-change to.
Numair: Well, I was talking to Volney Rain, and it was before I met Daine, so there was this huge fangirl stampede without a wolf to help me, and my Gift won't work on them, so I calibrated my bibliophile locator…::proceeds to mage-babble for three minutes:: …and I couldn't change into anything else later because of the shock.
Les: Angel of the Storms asks what the hell-
Lia: LES! Don't swear.
Les: It's already PG-13.
Lia: Ah, well…carry on then.
Les: -made you fancy Varice *cough* slut *cough*.
Numair: What can I say? She was worthy of the Playmage centerfold at sixteen.
Lia: No child porn laws in Carthak or Tyra, eh? Since I think Numair and Les are both pyros, let's ask Les!
Les: Sure. Fiiire…
Numair: Pretty flames…Fiiire…
Lia: ::southern accent:: Ah see our guests ah all pyros, ah reckon. Fry mah hide!
Les: Not only do I like fire, ::starry eyes:: I also like SOY CHITLINS!
Both: SOY CHITLINS! ::do the Soy Chitlins Inc. ™ Official Soy Chitlins Dance ®::
Lord of the Rings Luver: ::throws pointy-ear paper clips and also does the Soy Chitlins Inc. ™ Official Soy Chitlins Dance ®:: Fry mah hide! Ah have a cameo, ah reckon!
::both hosts put on paperclips::
Les: This was a very short episode-
Lia: SEND/REVIEW QUESTIONS!
Les: -::glare:: so
Both: ::sob brokenly::
Les: This is a short episode. Queen of Fluff's questions are our last. Numero uno is "Numair, do you remember our wedding back in April in Sarah's extra bedroom? Well, I am so sorry, darling! I forgot our anniversary!!! *sobs* Forgive me!!!"
Numair: Um… no. Maybe you had one of the Raymonds. ::sees hosts:: Fic stunt doubles. Nine of them- all named Raymond. Oh, THAT wedding? Um… of course not, my dear!
Lia: ::is amused:: Deux is "What does pineapple mean to you"?
Numair: Spiky thing that makes my tongue bleed and tastes good with slave chips and soy chitlins
Les: What do you do in the lavatory?
Numair: EAT! It's cleaner than my rooms, those've got all the fur in them…
Lia: Finally, did you know we went honeymooning in Florida?
Numair: No, but I'll go there again! ::sprints out of shower-curtain tent to Florida::
Les: And now I will go away for a week… and Lia will start singing a never-ending song… then Crazy Girl and I will be back…
Lia: We host, I sing, we go, and it happens again…we host, I sin-
Les: I'M GONNA KILL YOU! ::attempts to strangle Lia, Singer of the Never-Ending TTS Song::
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Hee. Next is the TORTALLAN SUPER EPISODE! ASK ANY TORTALL CHARACTER A QUESTION! It might not be up until '03 because I'M GOING TO NYC! Wish me farewell and you get the Inside Jokes Encyclopaedia (learn about soy chitlins!) for Christmas!
--Lia