Author's Note: Sorry about the huge delay, but first I was suspended (yeah. Just an in-school, but still. And it was for spitting, too. SPITTING, I tell you), then I had a huge mountain of homework, then I had to fold a megumi (that's a weird origami thing of a circle of cranes. They're supposed to bless people or something, but you need a lot of cranes), so… ::rambles:: How d'you like the new name? It should be "ò Rath", but FF.N doesn't like it. If you've got a dash or an accent or whatever (underscore, exclamation, special character) in your name, tell me how you got it to work, pretty please? Sneak peek at my new fic if it works…
Reviewers in the Sky with Diamonds:
Eve of Mirkwood! (I'm really, really sorry about TUF… did you take it down or did FF.N?)
Zoë!
Qui-ti! (Please, please tell me how you got the dash! PLE--------EASE!)
APersonWhoReadYourFanfic! (Shy much? *g* Look, I used *g*! Look, it's Kirrel! Here's a mini-Stormwing for you, Eve! )
Starlight!
LadyKnight! (Somehow they can, or there wouldn't be a KCN…)
Kel-AKA-LunaDea! (DEA! Thank you so-so-so-so-SO much for letting me write that Elsie thing. It's up, in case you haven't noticed.)
Hyacinth AKA Nell! (You'd be forgiven if there were anything to forgive, but your brother isn't. My cat once sat on my keyboard and gave some confused person a review full of gibberish.)
Hayden's Super Hobbit!
Lord of the Rings luver! (People! Go look at LotR-luver's review to give yourself pointy ears. Soy chitlins are my own insane invention, and (warning: future spoilers ahead in white) they're like chitlins (which, for the record, are disgusting fried pig intestines), but they're made out of soy. This is due to Les and Helen trying to come up with meat that couldn't be replicated in soy/grain/whatever. Les said chitlins, I said soy chitlins, and we all fell down laughing. You had to be there. Mr. Schnookums is a product of either "Ask Alanna" or "Ask Neal", I think Neal. Someone threatened to take him away if Neal/Faithful didn't bring her an obscene amount of money. I have ripped off many, many fics in this. The reason is I have a photographic memory and no life.)
Buri!
Lady Lyra! (Spelling is my pet peeve, so, if you want me to not concuss myself falling from my chair, please retain the "w" in the verb to write and its derivatives.)
Disclaimer in the Sky with Diamonds:
I own my clothes, not Daja. Tammy owns that, not me.
I own lots of Irish music, not Emelan. Tammy owns that too, not me.
I own a *complete* set of Tammy books, not "The _____ Show". Hika owns that, not me.
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I have a stand! Stand! Stand!
Its name is Tim! Tim! Tim!
He likes to bite! Bite! Bite!
And fall off the Rim! Rim! Rim!
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Voice: LIVE from a shower-curtain tent, it's THE TAMMY SHOW!
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Lia: We have Daja! DAJA! I need to get out my Portable Shrine to All That Is Remotely Daja-Related!
Les: Not this again. Next we'll have "let me recite this excellent poem I found on FF.N about the extreme glory of Daja, Third Ship Kisubo, and everything slightly associated with her. Did I mention I am Daja in two RPGs and my ezboard.com username is Daja Kisubo, that I once tried to make a standee of Daja from an enlarged scan of the cover of her CoM book, and when that failed, I tried to get four different bookstores to give me their Cold Fire display cases?"
Lia: ::setting up huge picture and printed fan-art for Daja Shrine:: What about the time you went to Elfwood for the sole purpose of finding a picture of Joren without a shirt, then printed out all the Joren pictures you could find? Then when you tried to get Helen and me to help you use glow-in-the-dark paint to paint him on your walls so that you could "always see his extreme beauty"? And then…
Les: Shut up and get the RLBM.
Lia: Yes, Mistress Lesl the Incredibly Picky Gestapo Dingo Joren Fangirl. RLBM!
(RLBM drag Daja in. One of them, let's call him Tim, because that's the Official Tammy Show Random Name, has her staff and a LOT of bruises)
Tim: You want this?
Lia: Yes, yes, GIVE IT TO ME! ::replicates staff with Magical Finger Snap ™ and puts it in her Shrine:: O great Daja, Absolute Best Character of All Time, I am not worthy to be in your most excellent presence…
Daja: Trader and Bookkeeper…
Les: She loves you. Get used to it.
Daja: I want a foot massage and stock options.
Lia: ::creates Flying Grapefruits Inc. and gives Daja the stock options:: I'd give you a massage too, but I'm supposed to be tortur-, um, interviewing you. Guess where you are?
Daja: Pijule fakol? But I paid my debts…
Les: No, it's THE TAMMY SHOW, where we kidnap random Tamora Pierce characters and…
Both: FORCE THEM TO REVEAL THEIR MOST HIDEOUS SECRETS! MWAHAHAHA…*chokes*
Daja: Great. I still haven't had a foot massage. ::looks pointedly at Lia::
Lia: Much as I platonically love you, I'm just unable to touch your feet. ::manifests headphones:: And what could he do/about a girl of sixteen/who would die for a banner/white orange and green…
Les: She's dead to the world now. Really, I'm surprised she hasn't died of joy from the combination of you and Irish music…Eve of Mirkwood asks why you massage Frostpine and kiss his head and so on.
Daja: Well, I just don't know…the sheep are lying! The grapefruit made me do it!
Les: ::pokes Lia:: Hi? You alive?
Lia: WHAT? ::takes off headphones:: Oh, yes. Zoë asks if you're with Briar.
Daja: No, that's Moonstream,, Lark, probably about seven girls wherever he currently is…he's a bit of a rake. There's probably an intriguing Tradertalk word for that to make me sound really exotic, but I can't remember it at present.
Les: Yum, Tradertalk…she also asks what you do when you're alone.
Daja: Oh, yes, ask the smith-mage what she does when she's alone…What do you think?
Lia: …even I don't know.
Daja: I eat. I need lots of FOOD for all this muscle.
Lia: Should've guessed. Qui-ti asks how to pronounce your name. DAH-jah, right? Evil person says dah-HAH.
Daja: DAH-jah. I'm not Namornen. Well, not by birth, anyway. ::points to large sticker reading "WHINNY IF YOU'RE A TRADER", right next to the "CALLED HER ROSIE- NOSE DONATIONS WELCOME", and "I LIVED WITH BRIAR MOSS FOR FOUR YEARS- AND SURVIVED" ones on staff.::
Les: I still say it's dah-HAH. Buri asks if you feel immensely left out of fics.
Daja: Of course, but I'm glad about it. Only two with me main, and one's a Briar/me romance. But then the author decided ::high pitched voice:: "Daja Moss sounds so icky! Daja/Kirel forever." As for the other- ::glares at Lia::
Lia: I'm really , really sorry about the show-fic. It was my first ever, not that that's much of an excuse. That's fine with me. Isn't Kisubo your ship, though? So it's your clan-name, not your last name. APersonWhoReadYourFanfic asks how you feel about Kirel.
Daja: That's right. I don't much care about him, and my chances of coupling with anyone are about nil due to this lovely lady. ::waves brass hand::
Les: Starlight asks how you liked Ben. ::waves own super-scarred hand:: I feel your pain, not that I care.
Daja: ::sighs:: I liked him until I found out about the whole arson thing. Then I wanted to cover him in chocolate and dough taped to his skin and give him to Tris right before her moonlies.
Lia: Bread dough…yummy…LadyKnight was our 120th reviewer, and LunaDea the uber-spiffy was out 121st. So…LadyKnight gets to ask Dea's question!
LadyKnight: ::skips in:: CLEON IS COOL! Daja, why does your staff have dancing monkeys on it? Is it because you're a dancing monkey?
Daja: No, that's Sandry. Dancing monkeys are the emblems of Third Ship Kisubo. After a deckhand on Second Ship Kisubo ate some old cheese, a dancing monkey appeared and told him to found a ship. Everybody used to think he hallucinated, but we didn't really care. They have a new Third Ship now- I had to go down and bless all the metal. Apparently, some more old cheese appeared.
LadyKnight: HE WAS CLEON! ::skips out::
Les: I'm sure he was. Hyacinth asks if you obsess over fried fish.
Daja: Uv course, guv! Fish an' chips in five!
Lia: …and if Polyam is a mother substitute.
Daja: No, she just read a few too many corny books. My real mother could kick the butt of everyone on Third Ship. ::gets all misty-eyed::
Les: Hayden's Super Hobbit asks if it's a pain to be one of the members of the Circle that seems to get less fics.
Daja: No, I LOVE it. LOVE LOVE LOVE, do you hear me?
Lia: Finally, Qui-ti asks if you like heavy metal?
Daja: No, I like chants. Chants are very Trader-y. ::starts chanting::
Les: Fiddle forever.
Lia: Yes. And IRISH! ::drools::
Les: It's okay, I guess…Last, do you use your metal for a weird clan ritual?
Daja: No, but I will use some now! ::runs out of tent with staff into fanfic-land::
Lia: Daja Kisubo has left the tent. Who has? Daja Kisubo has left the tent. Who has? Daja…
Les: ::gags Lia:: I need better gags. Until next time, folks!
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Next is Lark! Give me those REVIEWS, folks…less than sixteen days next time, I promise. I have a challenge for everyone: write something about origami in Tortall/Emelan. Mail it, post it, I don't care. ALSO: I really, REALLY read a ML beta. Not for TTS, for my "Elsie" fics. You can see my email on my bio. MAIL those questions, but review too! I feed on them, after all.
--Lia