This chapter is a bit lengthy and very angsty. So I hope you like it. ; )
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Two hours after the blinding cold surrounded Obi-wan, he was plunged into a burning night. Sweat dripped off of him as he sat in the cramped space. The alcove remained the same size, just big enough for him to fit. There he wallowed in the suffocating darkness for another two hours, only to switch back to the chalky tempest. Sleep was non-existent as the prisons threw his systems into havoc. Fiza mercilessly forced him between the two rooms all night long. Obi-wan knew that his body couldn't take much more of this abuse and could only hope that the end came quickly.
When morning dawned, Obi-wan relished the freedom. He was pulled from the compartment to join the others. Gingerly, he struggled to gain his footing. Weariness held his body, causing it to tremble slightly. A creeping infirmity blurred his vision and clouded his mind. Yet, even in his slight delirium he noted how vacant MysAri's eyes were. They must be drugging her still. He realized slowly.
Fiza herded the Jedi to a new field. New instructions were given. The five students were to harvest Chaawn roots and pass their gatherings to Obi- wan. He would carry them back to a Hauler that waited in the middle of the fields. Once their task was completed, their reward was a meal and meditation time before class. Fiza made his way to the Overseer's Hutch and guarded the prisoners in comfort.
The sunrise was brilliant and colorful. The golden rays warmed the land and creatures below. Occasionally, a gentle breeze caressed the earth. In touch once again with the living Force, Obi-wan's mind and vision cleared enough to allow him to work effectively if not efficiently. Each student had been sent down a row of their own. Their captors learned the lesson from the day before. The work was hard. Digging through the ground, they located the large Chaawn Roots. The smaller ones were at least six inches in length and a good ten inches around. Due to their bulky size the containers filled quickly. Obi-wan doggedly tried his best to keep up. Gradually he fell behind, due to the fatigue that gripped his body. Dust levitated by the tender zephyr offered by the air to touch the arid soil, agitated Obi-wan's lungs. Periodically, the tickle in the back of his throat demanded appeasement and forced him to cough. Dispelling it as nothing to concern himself with, he concentrated on his errand. At one point, he tried to carry all five buckets in a single trip, only to stumble most of the way under the strain. Deciding that was futile, Obi-wan carried what he could as best he could. Either way, it would not matter for him. Their keeper repeatedly stressed the point that the quicker they were done the longer they would have for relaxation. The hours passed as the sun rose and scorched the fields below.
One by one, the students were permitted to head back to the compound. Their section of the acreage harvested, the children were joyous to return. Some time later, only MysAri and Obi-wan remained. MysAri's benumbed awareness slowed her progress. Obi-wan's lagging strength held him back. And the tickle became more incessant for his consideration. Fortunately, MysAri's lethargy benefited Obi-wan. He was able to catch up to her yield before she finished. As Obi-wan bent down in her immediate area he heard a soft breeze drift by. Words formed in his ears, "I'm not completely spaced- out." He paused only for a fraction of a moment, as he understood the message. Obi-wan carried the buckets away, doing his best not to draw attention to himself. He needed to think. How could this benefit our situation? And could I afford to get in trouble again. The thought of the Tube and the harsh environments during the night made him shudder involuntarily. He headed back to the remaining bushels waiting him. MysAri brushed past. "I await your instructions," wafted back to him. Bound for their imprisonment, she stole a quick glance back at him and smiled.
It took Obi-wan almost another half-hour to finish collecting the Chaawn roots. Relief flooded through him as he dumped the last bushel. He could finally get something to eat and drink. Fiza had remained until he completed his task, taunting him from inside the comfortable hideaway. The sentry called out mocking him, urging him, to hurry. The cruel eyes were not blind to the boy's quivering body and enjoyed the sight immensely. The severity of their handling of the tenured Padawan deemed necessary by his employer which he relished the opportunity. Now Fiza shadowed him back to the complex smiling evilly. Obi-wan made his way back to the dining room and found the others eating and laughing. Antina was there looking none too pleased. Given the chore of watching the captives until her real concern was ready for departure. She started to reach for the last tray when Fiza stopped her.
"Uh-uh. Last one in doesn't get their rations." He gloated at Obi-wan. Obi-wan could not conceal the dread that quickly overtook him. He fell to his knees and reeled in his misery. He was dying of thirst and his stomach twisted in agony. How can I go on? How long were they going to treat me like this? "Time for class," Fiza announced. He nudged Obi-wan in the back. Despondently, Obi-wan forced himself to his feet and staggered after the group. His lungs squeezed, forcing dry air over his parched throat. His body shook momentarily by a coughing fit.
MysAri peeked behind her. She had noted earlier the slight tremors in his personage. Concern furrowed her features as she noted the grey paler of Obi-wan's skin. His face glistened with sweat. She knew instantly he was ill. Could the Tube that they mentioned have done this to him? Or was there more to it? She pondered. They had broken down his body and his mind would be next. They needed rescue soon or none of them would last.
Taking their seats, Serrine began. "So class what have we learned so far?"
Pet-trie responded, "That the Jedi are only out to better themselves."
"Very good. Anything else?"
"That by destroying the foundations of society they weaken the basic fundaments of the galaxy." Tesahn added.
Twik raised his hand. Serrine acknowledged him. "Is it possible to remain a Jedi and keep in constant contact with one's family?"
Serrine shook her head in disappointment. "No, it's not. If you maintain your Jedi status you place your family at risk. Thus.."
"Possibly causing their deaths and then you would be alone again." Pet- trie finished.
"But there are Masters and Knights that have families." Twik countered.
"And how often do you see those go on missions? Fulfill their Jedi duty and honour?" Serrine answered with her usual questioning.
Pet-trie responded to Serrine's prompting. "Most of them are teachers in the Temple and the others have mostly left the Order to pursue a life with their families."
"So you see, that even they understand the dangers," concluded the trainer.
Obi-wan couldn't believe what he was hearing. Even in his dazed state he could tell the others were beginning to absorb the quibble Serrine taught. And where was their rescue? No sign of it still. He feared that by the time their rescue arrived there wouldn't be anyone left to save. He was hopeful to hear that Twik was not fully buying into this farce. He also remembered what the breeze had told him before, letting him know that MysAri was not taken by their teachings either.
Serrine twisted the subject. "Have any of you had doubts about the Jedi Order?" She paced in front of them. "Thoughts that you /should/ leave?"
"We all have. With doubt we acknowledge our fears and once our fears are known we can overcome them." Twik recited a Jedi saying.
"That's not what I mean. Did you ever disagree with something a Master had said or did that made you think it was wrong?"
"We are meant to question so that we may learn," again Twik quoted.
Tinarah tentatively raised a hand. "Obi-wan left once."
Obi-wan's heart wrenched. Does everyone know my mistake? Of course they did. He rationalized. My decision shook the very foundations of the Temple. It effected everyone, down to the youngest initiate in the crèche to the eldest member of the Order. But that knowledge still struck at Obi- wan's hidden feeling of worthlessness every time someone brought up his irreparable error. Serrine's eyes twinkled with excitement. He wished he could avoid the coming onslaught but knew it was impossible.
"Did you really leave the Order?"
"I made a mistake. I have regretted it since and paid for it. Now nothing can dissuade me from my path." He did his best to suppress another coughing fit; taking note that his breathing had become raspy and sometimes caught in his throat.
"Why did you leave?" Curiosity engulfing the usually composed tutor.
Obi-wan closed his eyes trying to force the experience from his mind. The emotions that wove the episode together were still strong. Bitterness, guilt, regret, anger, sorrow - all attempted to choke him. He felt heat rising in him and passed it off as a reaction to the subject.
"Tell me. I want to know." Serrine urged. Obi-wan looked at her. There was an innocence in her voice and a longing in her eyes now. For the first time, Obi-wan saw a gentle vulnerability in the harsh woman. He didn't understand the change. "Please."
"We disagreed on the mission. He was concerned for the safety of another Jedi, which I understood. But I felt we were also obligated to help resolve the situation. He left and I stayed. When I disobeyed my Master, I was no longer a Jedi." He stated the minimal facts to try and avoid giving up everything that transpired. Trying to keep the emotions, fighting to surface, back. He watched the woman before him. He could see her searching within herself at his words.
"Why couldn't you just leave?" She whispered more to herself than to the pupil before her.
"What do you mean?" He asked her, confused by her quiet reverie. She seemed to come out of her trance.
"Why did you feel you should go back to the Jedi? Why not stay where you were? Or go back to your family?"
"Because," he paused to find the right words, "I realized that being a Jedi meant more to me because of what happened there. That by the grace of the Force, I can give all that I have, all that I am, to those who need help. To be able to not stand by and let those in need simply fall into the cracks and be forgotten. There was so much death and destruction on Melida/Daan that passed from generation to generation. I can only hope that with our help they were able to stop the devastation. That's when I knew that being a Jedi allowed me to help heal other worlds. That the Jedi only desire peace and happiness for those that suffer." With his own words, he could feel a lightening in his heart. He had still held Cerasi there and even though he had talked about her to Bant, the matter was not settled to him. Although he was no longer on Melida/Daan and helping Nield and the Young, he understood that the only way to preserve Cerasi's memory was to continue on and offer his assistance to others like her. To prevent the torment of others to the best of his ability. His path was clearer now than before and he knew Cerasi and so many others would be proud of him for his revelation. He stood. "I am a Jedi. I will always be a Jedi. You may destroy me but you cannot take that from me. They are not evil. You are the one who is evil."
Serrine was taken aback. She had heard his words but could not accept them. "No," she held to her beliefs. "The Jedi destroy that which they wish to uphold. You will learn to accept this. Fiza, punish him!"
A wicked sparkle lit the man's eye. He stepped forward and lifted the control rod. Obi-wan braced himself for the impending shock. When the initial jolt of pain assaulted him, Obi-wan could not figure out why it felt disconnected until he realized it was not his. He felt the suffering of his companions, as the intensity drove them from their seats to the floor. Their cries ringing in his ears. That's when he discovered that, even though it had been cut off from them in other locations, the Force was not all-together intangible within this building. Dampened, but still there, the Force connected the students and Obi-wan felt their pain through the will of the Force. Recognizing it's potential, Obi-wan concentrated and pulled their agony to him. Channeling the torment into his own body to disband it to the Force. Using the combined energy he stretched a hand towards Fiza. Suddenly, Fiza's grasp on the rod broke and the instrument flew into Obi-wan's, thus stopping the anguish surrounding him. Immediately, he threw the controller with such power it shattered as it crashed into the wall behind the punisher. "You /will NOT/ harm them." He declared with such confidence that there was a momentary pause from all in the room. Obi-wan no longer concerned himself with the consequences of his actions. He would rather die than give up being a Jedi again.
Outraged, the towering stock of a man lunged for the defiant youth. His fist landed solidly against the boy's face, effectively knocking him to the ground. Pouncing on the downed form, he dragged the boy out and through the halls into a room in which this conflict could be dealt with, less the audience. Obi-wan tried to struggle free from the man's clutches with little success. Upon entering a small room, Obi-wan was thrust against the far wall. His adversary descended upon him quickly. Jabs and kicks connecting squarely with their targets. Relentless strength deepened the punishment given the young body.
The others woke from their stupor at his conviction. They realized that Serrine was wrong. Consciously recognizing that they desired what Obi-wan desired; to become a Jedi Knight and help those who asked for their help. The others struggled to stand while Fiza hauled Obi-wan away. The pain that coursed through them previously, ceased by Obi-wan's actions, impeded their assistance. MysAri watched them leave from her place on the floor with concerned eyes. She could not give away that she was fully aware. They would drug her further if they knew and she understood how that could deteriorate their chances of survival. She concentrated, {Mira where are you? They are winning. Obi-wan will not survive much longer. Please come quickly.} She repeated the message over and over trying not to touch the Force that lingered from Obi-wan's channeling, and rely solely on their connection. Class was dismissed and they were sent to their tiny quarters to wait out the night. As they walked through the corridors, the vague sickening sound of flesh meeting flesh echoed. Soft cries of anguish resonated down the halls. Yet once in their holes only a steady clank sounded every few minutes disrupting their sleep.
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Two hours after the blinding cold surrounded Obi-wan, he was plunged into a burning night. Sweat dripped off of him as he sat in the cramped space. The alcove remained the same size, just big enough for him to fit. There he wallowed in the suffocating darkness for another two hours, only to switch back to the chalky tempest. Sleep was non-existent as the prisons threw his systems into havoc. Fiza mercilessly forced him between the two rooms all night long. Obi-wan knew that his body couldn't take much more of this abuse and could only hope that the end came quickly.
When morning dawned, Obi-wan relished the freedom. He was pulled from the compartment to join the others. Gingerly, he struggled to gain his footing. Weariness held his body, causing it to tremble slightly. A creeping infirmity blurred his vision and clouded his mind. Yet, even in his slight delirium he noted how vacant MysAri's eyes were. They must be drugging her still. He realized slowly.
Fiza herded the Jedi to a new field. New instructions were given. The five students were to harvest Chaawn roots and pass their gatherings to Obi- wan. He would carry them back to a Hauler that waited in the middle of the fields. Once their task was completed, their reward was a meal and meditation time before class. Fiza made his way to the Overseer's Hutch and guarded the prisoners in comfort.
The sunrise was brilliant and colorful. The golden rays warmed the land and creatures below. Occasionally, a gentle breeze caressed the earth. In touch once again with the living Force, Obi-wan's mind and vision cleared enough to allow him to work effectively if not efficiently. Each student had been sent down a row of their own. Their captors learned the lesson from the day before. The work was hard. Digging through the ground, they located the large Chaawn Roots. The smaller ones were at least six inches in length and a good ten inches around. Due to their bulky size the containers filled quickly. Obi-wan doggedly tried his best to keep up. Gradually he fell behind, due to the fatigue that gripped his body. Dust levitated by the tender zephyr offered by the air to touch the arid soil, agitated Obi-wan's lungs. Periodically, the tickle in the back of his throat demanded appeasement and forced him to cough. Dispelling it as nothing to concern himself with, he concentrated on his errand. At one point, he tried to carry all five buckets in a single trip, only to stumble most of the way under the strain. Deciding that was futile, Obi-wan carried what he could as best he could. Either way, it would not matter for him. Their keeper repeatedly stressed the point that the quicker they were done the longer they would have for relaxation. The hours passed as the sun rose and scorched the fields below.
One by one, the students were permitted to head back to the compound. Their section of the acreage harvested, the children were joyous to return. Some time later, only MysAri and Obi-wan remained. MysAri's benumbed awareness slowed her progress. Obi-wan's lagging strength held him back. And the tickle became more incessant for his consideration. Fortunately, MysAri's lethargy benefited Obi-wan. He was able to catch up to her yield before she finished. As Obi-wan bent down in her immediate area he heard a soft breeze drift by. Words formed in his ears, "I'm not completely spaced- out." He paused only for a fraction of a moment, as he understood the message. Obi-wan carried the buckets away, doing his best not to draw attention to himself. He needed to think. How could this benefit our situation? And could I afford to get in trouble again. The thought of the Tube and the harsh environments during the night made him shudder involuntarily. He headed back to the remaining bushels waiting him. MysAri brushed past. "I await your instructions," wafted back to him. Bound for their imprisonment, she stole a quick glance back at him and smiled.
It took Obi-wan almost another half-hour to finish collecting the Chaawn roots. Relief flooded through him as he dumped the last bushel. He could finally get something to eat and drink. Fiza had remained until he completed his task, taunting him from inside the comfortable hideaway. The sentry called out mocking him, urging him, to hurry. The cruel eyes were not blind to the boy's quivering body and enjoyed the sight immensely. The severity of their handling of the tenured Padawan deemed necessary by his employer which he relished the opportunity. Now Fiza shadowed him back to the complex smiling evilly. Obi-wan made his way back to the dining room and found the others eating and laughing. Antina was there looking none too pleased. Given the chore of watching the captives until her real concern was ready for departure. She started to reach for the last tray when Fiza stopped her.
"Uh-uh. Last one in doesn't get their rations." He gloated at Obi-wan. Obi-wan could not conceal the dread that quickly overtook him. He fell to his knees and reeled in his misery. He was dying of thirst and his stomach twisted in agony. How can I go on? How long were they going to treat me like this? "Time for class," Fiza announced. He nudged Obi-wan in the back. Despondently, Obi-wan forced himself to his feet and staggered after the group. His lungs squeezed, forcing dry air over his parched throat. His body shook momentarily by a coughing fit.
MysAri peeked behind her. She had noted earlier the slight tremors in his personage. Concern furrowed her features as she noted the grey paler of Obi-wan's skin. His face glistened with sweat. She knew instantly he was ill. Could the Tube that they mentioned have done this to him? Or was there more to it? She pondered. They had broken down his body and his mind would be next. They needed rescue soon or none of them would last.
Taking their seats, Serrine began. "So class what have we learned so far?"
Pet-trie responded, "That the Jedi are only out to better themselves."
"Very good. Anything else?"
"That by destroying the foundations of society they weaken the basic fundaments of the galaxy." Tesahn added.
Twik raised his hand. Serrine acknowledged him. "Is it possible to remain a Jedi and keep in constant contact with one's family?"
Serrine shook her head in disappointment. "No, it's not. If you maintain your Jedi status you place your family at risk. Thus.."
"Possibly causing their deaths and then you would be alone again." Pet- trie finished.
"But there are Masters and Knights that have families." Twik countered.
"And how often do you see those go on missions? Fulfill their Jedi duty and honour?" Serrine answered with her usual questioning.
Pet-trie responded to Serrine's prompting. "Most of them are teachers in the Temple and the others have mostly left the Order to pursue a life with their families."
"So you see, that even they understand the dangers," concluded the trainer.
Obi-wan couldn't believe what he was hearing. Even in his dazed state he could tell the others were beginning to absorb the quibble Serrine taught. And where was their rescue? No sign of it still. He feared that by the time their rescue arrived there wouldn't be anyone left to save. He was hopeful to hear that Twik was not fully buying into this farce. He also remembered what the breeze had told him before, letting him know that MysAri was not taken by their teachings either.
Serrine twisted the subject. "Have any of you had doubts about the Jedi Order?" She paced in front of them. "Thoughts that you /should/ leave?"
"We all have. With doubt we acknowledge our fears and once our fears are known we can overcome them." Twik recited a Jedi saying.
"That's not what I mean. Did you ever disagree with something a Master had said or did that made you think it was wrong?"
"We are meant to question so that we may learn," again Twik quoted.
Tinarah tentatively raised a hand. "Obi-wan left once."
Obi-wan's heart wrenched. Does everyone know my mistake? Of course they did. He rationalized. My decision shook the very foundations of the Temple. It effected everyone, down to the youngest initiate in the crèche to the eldest member of the Order. But that knowledge still struck at Obi- wan's hidden feeling of worthlessness every time someone brought up his irreparable error. Serrine's eyes twinkled with excitement. He wished he could avoid the coming onslaught but knew it was impossible.
"Did you really leave the Order?"
"I made a mistake. I have regretted it since and paid for it. Now nothing can dissuade me from my path." He did his best to suppress another coughing fit; taking note that his breathing had become raspy and sometimes caught in his throat.
"Why did you leave?" Curiosity engulfing the usually composed tutor.
Obi-wan closed his eyes trying to force the experience from his mind. The emotions that wove the episode together were still strong. Bitterness, guilt, regret, anger, sorrow - all attempted to choke him. He felt heat rising in him and passed it off as a reaction to the subject.
"Tell me. I want to know." Serrine urged. Obi-wan looked at her. There was an innocence in her voice and a longing in her eyes now. For the first time, Obi-wan saw a gentle vulnerability in the harsh woman. He didn't understand the change. "Please."
"We disagreed on the mission. He was concerned for the safety of another Jedi, which I understood. But I felt we were also obligated to help resolve the situation. He left and I stayed. When I disobeyed my Master, I was no longer a Jedi." He stated the minimal facts to try and avoid giving up everything that transpired. Trying to keep the emotions, fighting to surface, back. He watched the woman before him. He could see her searching within herself at his words.
"Why couldn't you just leave?" She whispered more to herself than to the pupil before her.
"What do you mean?" He asked her, confused by her quiet reverie. She seemed to come out of her trance.
"Why did you feel you should go back to the Jedi? Why not stay where you were? Or go back to your family?"
"Because," he paused to find the right words, "I realized that being a Jedi meant more to me because of what happened there. That by the grace of the Force, I can give all that I have, all that I am, to those who need help. To be able to not stand by and let those in need simply fall into the cracks and be forgotten. There was so much death and destruction on Melida/Daan that passed from generation to generation. I can only hope that with our help they were able to stop the devastation. That's when I knew that being a Jedi allowed me to help heal other worlds. That the Jedi only desire peace and happiness for those that suffer." With his own words, he could feel a lightening in his heart. He had still held Cerasi there and even though he had talked about her to Bant, the matter was not settled to him. Although he was no longer on Melida/Daan and helping Nield and the Young, he understood that the only way to preserve Cerasi's memory was to continue on and offer his assistance to others like her. To prevent the torment of others to the best of his ability. His path was clearer now than before and he knew Cerasi and so many others would be proud of him for his revelation. He stood. "I am a Jedi. I will always be a Jedi. You may destroy me but you cannot take that from me. They are not evil. You are the one who is evil."
Serrine was taken aback. She had heard his words but could not accept them. "No," she held to her beliefs. "The Jedi destroy that which they wish to uphold. You will learn to accept this. Fiza, punish him!"
A wicked sparkle lit the man's eye. He stepped forward and lifted the control rod. Obi-wan braced himself for the impending shock. When the initial jolt of pain assaulted him, Obi-wan could not figure out why it felt disconnected until he realized it was not his. He felt the suffering of his companions, as the intensity drove them from their seats to the floor. Their cries ringing in his ears. That's when he discovered that, even though it had been cut off from them in other locations, the Force was not all-together intangible within this building. Dampened, but still there, the Force connected the students and Obi-wan felt their pain through the will of the Force. Recognizing it's potential, Obi-wan concentrated and pulled their agony to him. Channeling the torment into his own body to disband it to the Force. Using the combined energy he stretched a hand towards Fiza. Suddenly, Fiza's grasp on the rod broke and the instrument flew into Obi-wan's, thus stopping the anguish surrounding him. Immediately, he threw the controller with such power it shattered as it crashed into the wall behind the punisher. "You /will NOT/ harm them." He declared with such confidence that there was a momentary pause from all in the room. Obi-wan no longer concerned himself with the consequences of his actions. He would rather die than give up being a Jedi again.
Outraged, the towering stock of a man lunged for the defiant youth. His fist landed solidly against the boy's face, effectively knocking him to the ground. Pouncing on the downed form, he dragged the boy out and through the halls into a room in which this conflict could be dealt with, less the audience. Obi-wan tried to struggle free from the man's clutches with little success. Upon entering a small room, Obi-wan was thrust against the far wall. His adversary descended upon him quickly. Jabs and kicks connecting squarely with their targets. Relentless strength deepened the punishment given the young body.
The others woke from their stupor at his conviction. They realized that Serrine was wrong. Consciously recognizing that they desired what Obi-wan desired; to become a Jedi Knight and help those who asked for their help. The others struggled to stand while Fiza hauled Obi-wan away. The pain that coursed through them previously, ceased by Obi-wan's actions, impeded their assistance. MysAri watched them leave from her place on the floor with concerned eyes. She could not give away that she was fully aware. They would drug her further if they knew and she understood how that could deteriorate their chances of survival. She concentrated, {Mira where are you? They are winning. Obi-wan will not survive much longer. Please come quickly.} She repeated the message over and over trying not to touch the Force that lingered from Obi-wan's channeling, and rely solely on their connection. Class was dismissed and they were sent to their tiny quarters to wait out the night. As they walked through the corridors, the vague sickening sound of flesh meeting flesh echoed. Soft cries of anguish resonated down the halls. Yet once in their holes only a steady clank sounded every few minutes disrupting their sleep.
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