One Piece Playgirl Mansion - CHAPTER FIVE


Madness: Bwahahaha *inhales* BWAHAHAHAA~

Shanks: Eh? What's with you?

Ben: Way too much junk food.

Madness: Popcorn isn't junk food! BWAHAHA~!

Makino: So just imagine what would happen if you drank liquor!

Madness: Buu. *sticks out tongue* Don't you know that popcorn is just full of buttery goodness?

Shanks: *nods* It's true.

Madness: Don't even get me started!

Tsurai (who just happened to appear out of nowhere): I'm in the mood for chocolate now, though.

Sanji: TSU-CHAAA~N! TADAIMA~!!! [proceeds to wrap his arms around Tsurai]

Tsurai: (uses Sanji's presence as an advantage to get food) I could really go for some chocolates right about now...*melodramatic sigh*

Madness: BAH! Didn't you learn your lesson!? Don't take candy from strangers!

Tsurai: *pointedly ignores Madness* Lots of chocolates...like a Valentine's Day gift!

Sanji: Haiiii, Tsu-chan! I'll get them for you!! [runs off]

Shanks: I feel bad for him...but not by much.

Madness: Yeah...I mean, Nami takes advantage of Sanji a lot. Geez.

Tsurai: I'm gonna get chocolates though. *smiles*

Madness: I'm can't believe you're two-timing dear Zoro-san! *holds face in hands* I'm so ashamed of you!

Tsurai: EHHH???

Shanks: *sighs* Makino, I'd like a drink...

Madness: ME TOO!

Makino: Sure, SHANKS, I'll get one for you.

Madness: Hey? Me..? Drink?

Makino: Not on your life, kid.

Madness: STINGY!!!!

Tsurai: So Maddie, it's almost your birthday!

Madness: Yeah...in like, a week and a half....on March 19th.

Tsurai: Whatcha want for your birthday?

Madness: SHANKS!!!!

Shanks: Oh, I'm sure you do.

Zoro: How about asking for something easier?

Madness: Easier?? What the heck??

Tsurai: *laughs* Bad choice of words, Zoro-sama...

Ben: Oh no...what's with the Zoro-"sama" now?

Madness: Of course she's learning! *beams* Always add "-sama" to the ones you love!

Tsurai: Or "-kun"...or "-san"...

Madness: Well, er...

Shanks: Don't you call Sanji with "Sanji-kun", Ma-chan?

Ben: And Zoro with "Zoro-san"?

Madness: PshAW. *holds face in hands, whirls away from them* ShUSH.

Tsurai: Let's not forget "Luffy-kun"!!

Madness: FINE, you made your point! You have permission to be smug now. Geez.

[Shanks, Ben, and Tsurai smirk to eachother.]

Madness: Well alright, I want....Zoro...

Tsurai: WHAT!?

Madness: ....plushie. Huh? What?

Tsurai: *face turns RED* Nothin.

Ben: ANOTHER plush doll?

Madness: Aw. You're right. *stops to think* Okay, I want One Piece doujinshi!

Zoro: Okay...that seems easy enough...

Madness: Uh-huh!

Tsurai: (knows better) Okay...now tell us what *kind* of doujinshi you want.

Madness: (briskly) Oh, you know...stuff. And stuff.

Shanks: (in a flat tone) Yaoi.

Ben: Obviously.

Madness: Well, you know...er...

Zoro: Why are you so nervous? It's nothing we haven't heard before.

Tsurai: Yeah Maddie, what's up?

Madness: *squirms uncomfortably* I DO want shounen-ai doujinshi, but...it's just that I saw this doujinshi online that kinda was...weird.

Zoro: Weird?

Shanks: How so..?

Ben: Well I hope it traumatized you.

Madness: Noooo. But I don't wanna EVER read Sanji/Zef doujinshi. *shivers* It's just too weird, too weird...

[Sanji overhears this and bursts in]

Sanji: THAT'S SICK!!!

Madness: YOU'RE TELLIN ME! I was in shock for days!! *shivers*

Sanji: Why can't I be in a normal relationship with WOMEN?? It's always "Sanji x Zoro", or "Zef x Sanji" which is SICK, or "Sanji x Gin", and don't even get me started on "Sanji x Luffy"!!!

Madness: But I like you and Zoro. And you and Luffy. MAYBE Gin wouldn't be bad, but I dunno.

Sanji: NOOOO~~!!! *sobs*

Tsurai: ...hey, what about my chocolates?

Zoro: Get the chocolates yourself. Lazy.

Tsurai: *pouts* I can't believe you're mean to me!! SANJI would never say that to me!

Zoro: I know. But he's easy to manipulate.

Madness: Bwahaha, Zoro-san's probably had experience.

Zoro: WHAT!?

Madness: *innocently* Huh? I didn't say anything...

Zoro: What do you mean, EXPERIENCE!?

Ben: You haven't been....have you, Zoro?

Shanks: Yeah...you do fight with Sanji a lot.

Madness: Like lovers quarrelling. *smiles* So cute together!!

[Sanji stops sobbing abruptly. He and Zoro turn to each other and exchange deadly glares.]

Madness: That's love, I tell you!!!

Sanji: Me love THAT thick-headed bastard??

Zoro: Me love THAT anorexic chef with the "wonderful eyebrow"??

Sanji: I'll kill you!!

Tsurai: Don't be mean to Zoro!!

Madness: Bahaha...Tsurai is very one-sided.

Sanji: But Tsu-chan...all I do...is for love.

Ben: Whose love?

Shanks: Zoro's.

Sanji: NO!!

Madness: Don't worry! I've heard of plenty of "Sanji x Nami" fics and doujinshi too.

Sanji: *jumps in excitement* REALLY??

Madness: Yeah. But to tell you the truth...I like shounen-ai much better. Don't get me wrong, I think Nami is really cool and all, but...you and Zoro are awesome together!!!

Zoro: It'll never happen!!

Shanks: I think it's best NOT to make a challenge to the author.

Zoro: Feh!

Madness: I've already written a shounen-ai story with Sanji and Zoro anyway.

Tsurai: REALLY?? how come you didn't tell me!?? It's about time!! Where?? When??

Madness: Fanfiction.net, of course. When? Just yesterday.

[Tsurai runs off to read the fic]

Ben: You really wrote a shounen-ai? I thought you said you couldn't do that...

Madness: Hell, I tried. It's a somewhat serious fic, though. No humor. It's a change.

Shanks: It's also a one-shot fic. Not unusual...you'd be too lazy to continue an ongoing shounen-ai anyway...nevertheless ANY story.

Madness: NOT TRUE.....oh hell, it's true.

[Suddenly, Madness is thrown off her seat, tied and gagged with ropes by two "unknown" pirates]

Madness: Mflflf..!!!

Sanji: *dusts himself off* That was easier than I thought...

Zoro: *also brushing himself off* I guess. Considering she was running her mouth again.

Shanks: Nice "before-birthday" present, you two.

Zoro: Thanks!

Sanji: Glad to oblige. *puffs on a newly lit cigarette*

[Tsurai comes running back into Party's Bar]

Tsurai: OMIGOOOOD!!

Ben: Omigood?

Shanks: Not this again. *sighs*

Tsurai: Maddie finally wrote a shounen-ai!!!!

Shanks: Gee, you think?

Zoro: *glares at Sanji* How bad is it...?

Tsurai: You should read it!!

Sanji: I don't really think I should...

Shanks: I'll read it!

Ben: Same here...

[Shanks and Ben head off to read the fic]

Makino: Shanks, your drink is.... *looks around* That lousy...!!! After all the trouble I went through looking for his drink, and he runs off!!

[Makino then eyes Madness tied and gagged on the floor. Apparently, Sanji and Zoro have also left to read the fic, or they probably just ran after Shanks and Ben to stop them from reading it. Makino blinks.]

Makino: Madness?

Madness: Grgrgr... *flops around on the floor like a fish*

Tsurai: Hey, she's a Pisces too! A fish really suits her right now!

Madness: GRGRGR..

Makino: Should we untie her?

Tsurai: I dunno...it's funny!

[Madness manages to kick Tsurai in the shins]

Tsurai: OWW! FINE THEN. I'll untie you.

Madness: Grg.


Do Zoro and Sanji make a great couple? Is Luffy EVER going to come up?? Will Madness receive any shounen-ai doujinshi from her friends??

Madness: You know, I'd also like all the episodes for Samurai Jack. On DVD or something.

Tsurai: Where did THAT come from???


~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Yeah, about that shounen-ai fic...it's called "In the Slowest of Motion". Just in case you're interested, but it's not necessary to read to continue with this spamfic. So, yeah. R/R please! *runs off*