I just made some changes (unimportant changes), but this is still 'Ironic'. Originally, this is Strife_07's work, but I officially got her permission to do some changes and apply it here. I'm not really good at angsty fics, so I 'distilled' this fic from her (oi, Strife, remember this word?).
Thanks to fellow deities Strife_07 and Chaotic Chaos for helping me out on this one. Thanks also to plink for posting such a nice one-shot ficcie entitled 'First Kiss'. That was what motivated me to do some FFVII fics. And thanks to all of you who will read this. I hope you enjoyed reading it as I enjoyed editing it.
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII is of course, not mine (you all know that Hironobu Sakaguchi owned it), though I wish he'd donate Sephiroth to me (I don't care if he tries to kill me. I've got Jacob's Syndrome in my genes, though I'm a female; we could try killing each other). Well, I think that's it…let's move on to Strife's edited one-shot fic now.
IRONIC Vincent no Miko (Maiden of Vincent)Ironic.
That's what I usually say whenever the sun shines on us while things just gets worse. And you're the one who always laughed it off, telling me that everything will get better eventually.
But it didn't.
My best friend, Tseng, never believed in love even before; he bragged that he'll never fall in love with anyone. He proclaimed that all those mush are crap, that being in love makes you lose your sanity and your rational thinking, and that's why it'll never happen to him. He was right, yet he was also wrong.
He fell hopelessly in love with Julyne, one of Shinra's employees, who unfortunately didn't return the feeling positively, and who ended up as one of Hojo's guinea pigs encased in one of those pods in the reactor in Nibelheim. It was the season of spring then.
Tseng locked himself in his own world and refused to open up for days. So much for that anti-love belief. I resisted the urge to chant 'I told you so' in front of him.
After that incident, he refused to talk about it once more.
"But why can't we talk about it, Tseng?" I asked him once.
"Because I don't want to. Leave me alone," he tersely replied. His back was turned to me. I didn't quite get why he was so upset whenever Julyne was brought up. I asked him again.
"Vincent, when you learn to love someone like I did, you'll understand."
And he was right.
Ironic.
It's on this season that I often thought about you. Years back, it was also early spring and the flowers were just blooming when Lucrecia told me she was in love with Hojo. For years I had wandered sadly. For years I felt alone and abandoned, yet the sky was cloudless and the sun sparkled above. People rejoiced around me even when I had the desperate urge to scream and freak out. And after I met you, you were always there; resting your head on my shoulder, telling me that everything will turn out just fine, sitting quietly beside me while I mumbled miserably about Lucrecia as I sat stiffly beside you.
It was you who held me close.
Not my best friend.
Not Cloud, Cid, or any guy friends.
Not even Lucrecia, nor Aeris.
But you — whom I expected to be the last person to comfort me, especially on the times when I was afraid to be alone.
Ironic.
Tell me, is there any moral law that prohibits a former Turk to fall in love with a member of AVALANCHE? Would it be a love that can never be? Would anyone want to stop me from getting myself hurt all over again?
How could anything wrong feel this right?
Ironic.
I saw you one day, sitting near the well in Nibelheim, eyes cast down your shoe. The sun was shining, always shining. I cautiously asked why you looked so sad. You didn't reply. Instead, your wine-colored eyes scanned the town and rested on a blonde, spiky-haired boy.
Charles Bluesummer, a traveler that settled recently in Nibelheim.
"You like him, don't you?" I inquired, quite aware that my voice was starting to quiver.
Again, you didn't reply. But then again, you didn't have to. Your wistful eyes said it all.
Finally, I was beginning to understand how Tseng felt.
"He smiled cheerfully at me today, did you see?" Your eyes still had that wistful look, your lips on a silly grin. I just nodded silently; even if the truth was that you were just deluding yourself. Charles always smiled cheerfully at everyone, because that's just the way he is. But I could never tell you that; it'll just make you sad. You'll never notice that while you looked at him, he was secretly staring at a photograph of his childhood love. It was a good thing that no one looked at me, as no one saw the pained expression I probably wore. It puzzled me how that Charles guy didn't realize your feelings for him. I could never ignore you if you gazed at me the way you gazed at him.
It's been over a year when the news broke out about the newfound relationship of Charles and Atthalia — another resident of Nibelheim that looked and acted so much like Aeris, and who turned out to be Charles's childhood love. Everyone was teasing them, except for you and me. You were so busy hiding the pain you felt and as for me, well, I was busy looking at you.
"Why didn't you tell that Charles guy sooner? He could've been yours," I told her, even if I was silently rejoicing that you didn't pursue him.
"It's all right. It's better this way." You replied casually, but I already saw your hidden tears. It hurt me, knowing that you hurt yourself.
"Yes, it's really better this way." I don't know whether that was the truth or I just wanted to believe you. That time, I was the one who held you close.
"Thanks, Vincent. I wouldn't know what to do without you. You're probably the nicest guy I've met. I'm so glad you're my friend."
I was nice. I'm your friend. That's what I'll forever be to you. I'll never be handsome and you'll never see me the way I see you. It hurt to think that.
Months passed, and your inside wound slowly healed. You soon forgot about Charles, and turned your feelings toward another blonde guy — Cloud. You always liked blonde, spiky-haired guys with forget-me-not blue eyes — the very opposite of me. I quickly noticed all your stares and teased you often. I sometimes tease him about you too. Now, everyone's talking about you. I wondered how come nobody caught me looking at you. Maybe I was so good at it that no one saw or maybe it's just that they're all so busy teasing the both of you that I was simply ignored. I don't know why it matters so much.
Today, I found comfort in talking to the old residents in Nibelheim about you. The wind blows softly through my long hair, and the sun shone even brighter than usual. I felt calm and happy, even if not wholly as I never had been thoroughly at peace ever since I found out about your feelings for Charles not so long ago. Now, it's for Cloud. But yes, I could still be happy.
I sensed your presence getting near. I'll never figure out how I could, I just do.
"Hello, Vincent." You spoke warmly, and I just had to smile as you stood in front of me, while I sat by the well.
"Hi, Tifa. What's up?"
You grinned almost stupidly and plopped down beside me. "Everything's great!" Suddenly, you were flushed with excitement. I could only guess why.
"You look really happy today. What happened?"
"Cloud." It took every bit of effort in me not to look shocked as you breathlessly said his name. You were never that breezy whenever you spoke my name. But then, I was never your knight in shining armor astride a noble steed. Still, something inside me told me to be prepared for whatever you're going to say next.
"He asked me if I would like to go out with him tomorrow since it's Saturday." A lump forms in my throat.
"Oh. Are you coming?" I asked, even though I already know the answer; even though I know that somehow, I am now losing you.
"Yes, of course!" you exclaimed, and I had to bow my head so that you would not see the sadness that's washing all over me, as hard as I tried to keep it at bay. "This is the happiest day of my life!"
In your joy, you missed the pained expression that I clumsily hid. As soon as I was able to control myself once more, I looked up and pasted a fake but nevertheless encouraging smile on my face. "I'm so happy for you, Tifa. You've always liked him, even more than the way you've liked Charles."
You blushed again. "Yes, I have," you admit. "You know me the best."
"That's because I always look out for you."
Your grin grew wider at my words. "I know, that's why I'm so thankful to have you as my friend."
There goes that word again. Friend. Before the urge to run away becomes stronger, I decided to change the topic. "So, where is he going to take you?"
"He said it was a surprise. But I think he's going to take me to the movies, then we'll grab a bite later. Do you think it'll be okay like that?" You looked genuinely worried.
I sighed, and then smiled again. "A bit conventional, but that'll be fine. Don't worry, he'll take care of you. Besides, I know that you'll enjoy his company so much that you won't mind where he'll take you. Am I right?"
"You think so?"
I think that if I try really hard, I could make you forget about Cloud and just have you focus yourself towards me. But I won't do that, because I know that your real happiness lies with him, just like I know that, even though it hurts, there is no happiness for me. "Yes, I think so."
You tilted your head back and laughed. Such small gestures…yet have the greatest effect. Your unintentional actions made me want to hug you and kiss you passionately then and there, but…
"You really know me."
"Are you nervous?"
You wipe a drop of sweat from your forehead. "A little bit."
"Cloud will like you, you'll see."
"I hope you're right."
"Stop worrying yourself. No one can resist loving you, Tifa."
You rest your head on my shoulder again, just like before, and the sun still shines above us. "You're really nice, Vincent. I'm so lucky to be your friend. You're always beside me and you're very supportive. You'll always hold the most special place in my heart."
My hands close firmly as I struggled not to scream at you and say what I really feel at the moment. I wondered when you'll be able to realize that Charles held that special place in your heart before, and now Cloud's replacing him. I will never hold that very special place but it'll always make me feel better when you tell me that. "You have the most special place in mine too, Tifa."
You pull back and smile sweetly at me. So sweet, that it almost hurt to watch you, knowing that the smile you don actually belongs to another guy. You hug me tightly again and stand up. "Well, I have to go and prepare myself now. See you later!"
"Bye." I softly call out but you're already gone.
The sun sparkles so perfectly and the irony of the circumstances hit me once more. It hurts, knowing that every day since I've realized how much I love you, I've been attempting to hold that special place in your heart, all in vain. I tried, God knows how hard I tried, to show you how special you are to me, even more than words can say.
The sun spreads its bright rays, and you'll never really know.
Author's Notes: Yeah, this entry will stay as a one-shot fic. But I'm really planning to do a multi-chapter ficcie concerning this, only that I haven't thought of a plot yet. But when I finally do, I'll let you know (which is probably next year? Hehehe…)