Disclaimer: W/K: not owned by us. Law Suits: not welcome. Comments: appreciated. Death threats: reported to the local authorities. Flames: retaliation should be expected.
The twisted minds of Lara and Lilly present (as a result of way too much sugar and utter boredom), the weirdest a** sh** you'll ever read/write:
Pass the paint thinner: a parody of "Painting you gold"
Chapter Two: In case of insecurity, *never* tell Schu…
Schuldich cocked his ear up as he heard the muffled sound of a scream from the upper level of the Schwarz house. Puzzled as to what was happening, he decided he would ask Bradley.
But the thoughts he stumbled upon were not what he expected at all…
Holy sh**!!! When did I gain that much???? This scale is *so* wrong! That's it, I'm buying a new one today! Kami, I'm turning into the biggest tub of lard in the world!!!! Pretty soon people are going to start calling me a hairy golf ball and I'll be stuck teaching at some high school for the rest of my life complaining about how I used to be the hottest thing the world had ever seen!
Schuldich was intrigued. Was it possible that Bradley Crawford, his best friend, fearless leader of Schwarz, and overall prick, was insecure? Not only that, was this insecurity causing him delusions that made him believe he, at one point in time, was hotter than Schu? [Lara: *sniff* It could happen.) He smiled evilly as Brad calmed himself and convinced himself that he was just overreacting. Then, clearing his throat as walked over to the kitchen door, he called upstairs to Bradley, "Hey Brad! You'd better get your fat-ass down here if you want us to leave any breakfast for you!"
Schuldich had to stifle a laugh when the heard the thump from the older man's bedroom. Schuldich had been itching for a chance to get even with Brad ever since that one incident with Weiss and Takatori. He shuddered at the memory of the singing…the double elbows… and the electric slide…he'd never see Fridays the same way again.
The song! THAT BLOODY SONG!!…
(Lilly: Lara, breathe.. it's over now…)
(Lara: @_@… )
Nagi stopped mid-bite of his Wheaties. (The breakfast of telekinetic champions.)Farfello looked up from the knife he was sharpening, "Schu, did you just call Crawford a fat-ass?"
Without saying anything, Nagi gave a curious frown and flipped his gaze between his teammates.
Schuldich shrugged and smiled.Oh, yes. This was going to be fun.
~
"Ohayo, Brad," Nagi greeted the older man as soon as he finally appeared at the breakfast table about ten minutes later.
"Ohayo," Bradley mumbled, sitting down at the table grumpily and quickly unfolding his newspaper, trying to act as normal as possible. The belt, he could have recovered from easily, but the scale… Good god, that combination of numbers threw his entire world off-kilter! He prayed that no one would say anything to him.
Schuldich, of course, had other plans.
"So, fearless leader, what took you so long? You're usually down at the breakfast table a lot earlier."
Crawford ignored him.
"Did you have a rough night?"
Crawford sniffed and turned to the business section. "I slept fine."
"Then what's wrong?" Schuldich asked innocently.
Crawford gazed icily at him over his glasses. "What makes you think there's anything wrong?"
Schuldich shrugged and looked around for his mug of coffee, glancing back as Brad returned to his newspaper. "Brad, do you think you could pass me the sugar that's behind you on the counter?" hehh he asked as nonchalantly as possible.
"Can't you walk over and get it yourself?" the older man asked, not looking up.
"I don't want to walk all the way over there…" Schuldich said in a mildly whining tone.
"Fine," Brad sighed and got up to grab the little container of sugar, handing it across the table over to Schuldich.
"Thanks, buddy," the latter said. The beginnings of a smirk tugged as his lips, but he held it back, willing his face to remain that way. He didn't want to ruin his perfect expression.
"…What is it?" Bradley finally asked after about a minute of Schuldich staring at him.
"Oh, it's nothing," he replied. "Good."
"…"
"So will you stop staring at me like that?"
"It's just that you look….I don't know…*different*."
This caught Crawford's full attention.
Twitch. "What…" Twitch. "Do you mean by…" Twitch. "*Different*?"
"--Oh, wow! I'm late for school!" Nagi exclaimed as he jumped up form the table, trying to act as a distraction. He quickly placed his empty cereal bowl in the sink. "Schu, why don't you drive me to school today?" he quipped, tugging at the orange haired man's arm in a desperate attempt to end the conversation he and Bradley were getting into. He had the feeling like this could turn into something really ugly. Uglier, even, than Takatori in the wee hours of the morning.
Ew.
"Get out of here," Bradley growled, keeping his glare trained to Schuldich..Nagi tossed the car keys to his chauffeur for the day and quickly swooped down to plant a small kiss on Brad's cheek as he placed a plate of pancakes on the table for him, then exited before anyone could catch sight of the crimson flush on his face.
"Careful, Brad," Schuldich said leaning on the older man's shoulder. "You take in too many sweet things like that, you'll get fatter."
Brad's glasses flashed as he whirled around to face the telepath. "What are you saying? Are you saying I look fat?"
The telepath shrugged and walked out after Nagi with a self-satisfied smile plastered on his face.
"Get back here and answer me!" Crawford yelled after them. He had stood up from the table and had half a mind to go after them.
What did he mean by *that*?!? Crawford wondered to himself. He looked over to Farfello, who was staring at him with an expression of awe and was that....bemusement?
Brad threw him one of his infamous icy glares and Farfello went back to meticulously sharpening his rather long knife.
"You don't think I look any different do you?" Brad asked after a few minutes of silence.
"…"
"Farfello?"
The silver haired man looked up at the American. He looked him up and down silently. "I don't know…I think God would like it if I told you."
Bradley sensed nothing good could come of all of this.
TBC….
Tune in for the next episode:
"There comes that time when you reach a certain age…"
Teaser:
"Well, um," Nagi stuttered.
"Well what?" Bradley demanded.
"You have been a little, but just a tiny bit, heavier lately…" Nagi said in a small voice.
The man before him was in shock. Had everyone on his team turned against him? Had he lost all respect and authority because he had become an enormous tub of lard?????
Lilly: Poor Bradley!!! . What are we doing to him????? Pooh. ::thinks for two seconds:: ::giggles:: Who cares? It's so much fun! ^_~