Title: WWE Reality TV
Rating: Pg-13
Disclaimer: I called Vince and he asked me who the hell I was and where I got his phone number. So, apparently that means I can't own anyone.
A/N: First thanks to all my reviewers. I really appreciate it. If you read the fic and don't review then I am sending Jo's Smurfs after you! Luke thanks for the great idea and we will be using it in this chappy.
RVD totally killed me when eh said he looked at his watch and it was 4:20 all day! Go Rob Smoking 4:20!
The camera pans the room to see everyone sitting in the living room area. Jeff is eating skittles of course, Matt has actually found the time to sleep, and everyone else is fighting over the bag of popcorn that Rob is eating.
"Hey guys how are we doing so far?" Shane asks walking in the front door. "Bubba, I see you are still in the stairs."
"I'm stuck."
"We know that already you have been there for like 3 days now. Anyway everyone knows what time it is so lets get to it before we start our new task."
The room fell quiet in anticipation for who was going home. Shane pulled an envelope out of his pocket and approached the group of men.
"First of all let me tell everyone that this show has being going along nicely. I have enjoyed every second of it and sure you have too but 2 people must go home today. Unfortunately those two people are Steve Austin and Booker T."
"What!?"
"Tell me you did not just say that."
"I'm sorry Booker I did now if you will be going now."
Everyone laughs and points at the guys as they leave. Jeff runs up to Austin humps his leg and then runs away.
"I will be getting comments from the first cut after I explain your next task to you."
"I didn't get cut? That's freaking amazing!" Kurt hollered dancing in a circle.
"Can it dude. I'm sure they will cut your bald ass next round." Rob replied calmly.
"Do I get to play?" Bubba asked trying to break loose from the stairs again.
"The Rock says if you don't stop that Jabronie you are going to bring the whole house down!"
"No Bubba fat asses that are stuck in the stairs don't get to play!"
"Just get on with it, Junior. You are boring the highlight of the night."
"The rules are simple. Everyone must dress up like another wrestler and stay that way. If you refuse to participate in the task or we think your outfit is stupid which Kurt we probably will, you will have to watch Hulk Hogan's video No Holds Bar."
There were a few grunts and moans among the guys but for the most part they seemed OK with the idea. Kurt was sitting in the corner crying.
"What's wrong, ass clown?"
"Shane said my outfit would be stupid."
"The Rock says this. Your outfits are always stupid so deal with. The Rock means really who wrestles in slinglets anymore, anyway!"
Kurt continued to cry into Mr. Teddy will everyone laughed at him and called him names. Eventually Shane silenced the crowd by pointing them towards the trunks where their outfits could be found. Shane walked to The Blue Room to talk to Booker and Steve.
"Hey guys. How does it feel to be the first cut?"
"I don't give a damn I just want more beer. This place was stupid anyway." Austin replied giving the camera the finger.
"I say all the fans are suckas. How could they do this to the five time five time five time…
"Shut-up, Booker. Not only do I not want to hear it the fans don't either. So do you both plan on watching the show or are you going to go home and forget this whole thing happened?"
"I'm going home to get drunk. If these fans can't see who the toughest SOB in the business is …
"Sorry Steve we are out of time everyone is changed. Sorry you got cut but thems the breaks."
Shane left The Blue Room and quickly ran back to the living area to wait for the guys to come down. He almost peed his pants from laughing so hard when the new and improved guys made their ways down the stairs and tried to avoid tripping on Bubba.
"Kurt, like I said your stupid and you have to watch the movie." Shane said shaking his head.
"But Doink The Clown is cool!" Kurt whined through his face paint.
"The Rock says Doink The Clown is stupid!"
"Like Kane is any better."
"Kane is the man and besides it's the only mask The Rock could find!"
"You forgot about this one!" Jeff yelled flying from the top floor in his Hurricane Helms mask and cape.
Matt walked down the stairs shaking his head in a Live For The Moment T-Shirt.
"Matt, you aren't participating?" Shane asked starting to turn the Hogan video on.
"God no anything but Hulk Hogan. Can't you tell I'm my brother? See my hair dye."
"Awe Matty I knew you always wanted to be like me." Jeff said running over and planting a super hero sized kissed on his cheek.
"Gross Junior cut that shit out"
"Chris who exactly are you?" Shane asked eyeing the blond who was now in high heels and a mini skirt.
"Trish Stratus!" Chris replied adjusting the water balloons in his shirt.
Rob ran pass in his Sting outfit and popped one of his boobs.
"Look dudes they are just like Trish's. They are fake and can be popped!" Rob laughed.
"Well, I must say this is an impressive turn out. I can't help but think that we are missing someone."
"The Rock says its Taker."
"Where the hell did he go?"
Just then Undertaker came walking in with long hair and his white face paint.
"The Deadman lives again!" Undertaker yelled making Bubba jump in surprise.
The house rumbled from Bubba's movement and some of the sheet rock fell from the ceiling.
"Taker that's just your self." Shane replied warily.
"I'm big Evil this is The Deadman deal with." Taker replied walking over to a folding chair and sitting down.
Everyone shot their glances of disapproval but no one was stupid enough to say anything.
"What the hell is that smell?" Taker asked wrinkling his nose.
"Oh my god that smells like death. What the hell is that?" Jericho asked sticking his head out the window for air.
"Sorry must have been the pork chops." Bubba replied his face turning red.
"The Rock says you are a fat fuck! When you walk down the street people go hey look at that fat fuck!"
"Sorry Rocky I'm kind of stuck here."
"Did you shit your pants, dude?"
"Maybe?"
"Maybe? What do you mean maybe, boy?" Taker asked trying desperately to get out of the room.
"This is totally un-cool, dude. I'm looking at my watch and it says 4:20 so I'm out of here."
"Rob your watch always says 4:20." Shane replied to his comment.
"Look Dude I'm a pothead. Its either 4:20 or time to buy more Funyuns that's just the way it is." Rob replied walking off towards his room.
"Rob if you go that way you will have to pass shit pants over there." Jeff replied now amazingly calm and trying to stay as far away from Bubba as he could.
"Dude this sucks. I can't get high because the fat fuck over there shit his self and it smells like death in here. Now what are we going to do?"
"Well fellow M'Fers I think we should play charades."
"Not a bad idea, Jabronie."
"Nothing from Matt Version 1 is bad!"
"Uh Matt shouldn't it be like version 13 now? I mean you have been in a bunch of fics since version 1." Rob asked trying not to laugh.
"Its version 1. How does everyone get version 11 anyway?"
"Well Matty I would say you are at least version 2. I mean saying version 1 is like saying you have never wrestled before and everyone knows you were better when you were with me."
"I want milk!" Kurt cried out of nowhere.
Rocky sent him to Rock Bottom just so no one had to listen to his pansy ass anymore and everyone thanked him.
"Stupid Doink The Clown!"
Everyone was going to play charades but the smell in the room was getting worse by the minute and Undertaker and Shane had both already passed out from the toxic fumes in the room. Jericho, Rocky, Matt, Jeff, and Rob are all seen with their heads hung out the different windows trying to keep from dying. Jericho's ass was hanging out of his skirt and a bright blinding green could be seen from Jeff's cape as everyone gasped for air.
"What an ass clown. Even if the fat fuck gets cut he's stuck in the damn stairs." Chris yelled taking in another breath.
"The Rock says we could always get the Jaws of Life after him."
"Dude The Rock says everything. Do you have a problem with saying I?"
"The Rock has a big ego therefore he has to talk in 3rd person. Nothing else suits him."
"Dude that's the stupidest thing I have ever heard."
"The Rock…what's wrong with you, kid? Your face is turning white."
"He hasn't had any pot in over an hour. He is going threw withdraws." Jeff replied still acting normal for once.
Rob then starts shaking horribly and jumps out the window.
"What the hell are you doing, junior?"
"Look at all the pretty colors." Rob replied chasing something that no one could see around the back yard.
"The Rock can't see shit threw this mask. What the hell is that Jabronie doing?"
"Apparently he is being Sting because he is running around like an ASS CLOWN!" Jericho yelled tugging at his skirt.
"Hey Jericho with legs like that you should have been Stacey Keibler." Matt added checking Chris out.
"You sick freak!" Jericho replied.
"Hey that's slogan infringement!" Rocky replied slapping Jericho on the back on the head.
Jericho yelled and pulled his head back in the room only to almost fall over from the smell. He quickly stuck his head back out the window to see Rob lying in the grass making angels.
"I guess he is having weed withdrawals." Kurt said joining the men out the window.
"We already discovered that, ass clown." Jericho yelled going to apply the walls but passed out from he smell once he entered the house.
"Look fellow MF'ers I say this is an outrage. Everyone better vote Bubba off or I am killing myself."
"Really you will kill yourself? The Rock says no one vote for Bubba."
A/N: Wow that was odd. I sure didn't see that coming. Oh well there you go. Vote off two more people, please!