Stars in the Darkness - Part Twenty - Three
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Onara stood in front of the red-framed door of the holo-arboretum in the Crystal Pavilion, her hands clasped nervously before her. It had been months since she was last here. That had been the night of Senator Rhygdon's ball, when Obi-Wan had whisked her away from it and brought her here. He had placed his palm upon the rectangular piece of gray metal next to the door and it had opened for him.
Now, as Onara clenched her fingers tighter, she wondered if she needed to do the same thing in order to gain entrance. Then she wondered if she should even be here. She had made a promise, both to Dalan and to herself, to be a good wife and do all she could to ensure that their marriage worked. Coming to see Obi-Wan was, she knew, not the thing she should be doing if she intended to keep that promise.
Just as Onara was about to turn away, the door to the holo-arboretum whished open. Her heart beat faster and she felt the rapid pulse in her fingers as she gripped them tighter. She hesitated for a moment, caught between her need to flee this place and her desire to see Obi-Wan. Her desire won out and she stepped inside.
Just as it had been when she and Obi-Wan were here last, the room was filled with the tress, shrubs, grass and flowers of one of the fabled gardens of Suheb Province. Onara knew it was just a mirage, however, created by holographic technology, but her breath caught in her throat at the beauty of it all, her heart aching for her homeworld.
Moving slowly through the room, she saw no sign of anyone else, but she sensed Obi-Wan was nearby. It was as if there was a connection between them that belied explanation, but filled her with a warm thrill of anticipation. She walked further into the room, the hem of her skirt swishing over the floor. Then she stopped, and her heart thudded in her chest.
A figure stood just a few feet away, in front of a bush of honeyroses, clad in a dark brown robe, its back to her and the hood of the robe drawn over its head. Onara moved closer, the blood rushing through her veins. Just as she reached the figure, it slowly turned, pulling the hood down upon the shoulders of the robe and, as Onara looked up into that beloved face and those mystifying blue-gray eyes, her heart wrenching with both love and foreboding, she now knew for certain she should not have come.
"My lady," Obi-Wan said, his voice soft, but husky. "I hoped you would come."
"I should not have," Onara whispered as she moved closer.
"I know. But I'm glad you did."
Onara tried to speak, but her throat was suddenly too tight and it felt as if there was not enough air in the room. Being here with him, alone, it was too dangerous. She had to leave. Now, before it was too late. She quickly turned to go, but felt his hand upon her arm, restraining her, but ever so gently.
"Don't go. Please."
She turned back to him, her eyes locked on his.
"I've missed you so much," Obi-Wan went on, his eyes imploring her to stay. "I would not harm you for the world, Onara, so if you want to leave, I will let you, but, please...."
He stopped and Onara saw that, like her, he too found it difficult to speak. She reached over and placed her palm on the back of his hand where it lay on her arm, noting how warm and muscular his hand was. A current seemed to jump between them and she heard him sharply catch his breath.
"You do not have to beg me to stay, Obi-Wan," Onara replied as she gazed tenderly up at him.
"But I would," he offered, his eyes looking deeply into hers. "I would do anything to spend this time with you."
"Anything?" Onara asked in a teasing voice as she gently squeezed his hand.
"Well, just about anything," Obi-Wan said, laughter in his voice as he led her further into the holo-arboretum.
They walked for a bit, their silence like a bridge which either could cross whenever the other was ready. Onara noted Obi-Wan must have programmed the hologram for sunset because the room slowly began to darken and through the trees she saw red, pink and orange layers of light filling the holographic horizon.
They stopped, her hand now clasped about his arm, and together they watched the sun set. Once it was below the horizon and the sky purpled towards night, Onara drew her gaze away and looked up at Obi-Wan.
"Thank you. That was so very beautiful."
"It was. But nowhere near as beautiful as you."
Onara looked down and away, her cheeks burning at his words. She gripped his arm, even as she again felt that overwhelming rush to turn and go. She had promised, she told herself firmly. She had promised to be a good wife. But how could she be a good wife when she was standing next to the man she still loved and would always love?
"Why did you ask me here, Obi-Wan?" she finally asked, her lips trembling as she said his name.
"Because I wanted to see you. Because Ben told me....he told me he had heard you crying. I can't stand the thought of you crying, Onara. I can't stand the thought of anyone making you cry. Even if he is your husband."
Onara drew her hand away, noting the pained look in Obi-Wan's eyes when she did so, but willing herself to ignore it.
"Being married isn't always blissful, Obi-Wan. Husbands and wives sometimes argue and say things that hurt the other."
"I know that. But what he said to you..." Obi-Wan stopped and moved closer, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you? About my miscarriage?"
She swallowed heavily, trying to ignore the way her skin flared at his touch. "It was between me and Dalan." Then she bit her lip at the flare of pain she saw in his eyes.
"Of course," he said softly as he released her. "You're right. Please, forgive me."
Onara stared at him, cursing herself for her hasty words. Was that her fate, she wondered, to always hurt those who loved her?
"I was so happy when the physician told me I was pregnant," she suddenly said, aware she should not be speaking to Obi-Wan about this, but needing to, she now realized. "I thought it would make things better between us."
"Had things between you been so bad?" he asked, and Onara was grateful to see gentle concern in his eyes instead of the anguish that had been there before.
"Not bad, but not good either." Onara looked down, her shoulders slumping. "I should never have married him, Obi-Wan. It was wrong."
She looked up at him when she felt his hands on her shoulders again.
"You married him for the sake of your people, Onara. And because..." Obi- Wan stopped and, removing one of his hands from her shoulder, gently stroked her cheek, "....and because I asked you to. Don't blame yourself. If anyone is to blame it's me."
"You?"
Obi-Wan nodded, his finger still moving along the curve of her cheek. A knot formed in her throat.
"I wanted you to marry Dalan so that I would not feel guilty for having left you and Ben. But now..." Obi-Wan stopped, moving his hand away and Onara silently mourned the loss of his touch. "...now if I had it to do all over again, I would not have given you so willingly to another man."
"But I know why you did it, Obi-Wan. Because you knew, as well as I, that your destiny is to be a Jedi Knight."
"A Jedi Knight," Obi-Wan repeated, but Onara was stunned to hear a note of bitterness in his voice. "Yes, I am a Jedi Knight. But I'm also a man. With a man's longings and desires."
Her heart stuttered at his words. Yes, he was a man, and she loved him as both man and Jedi, as father to their son and lover to her. And she would have, she now realized, loved him even more as husband.
"Is that wrong?" he asked her, suddenly sounding to Onara like a bewildered little boy, his blue-gray eyes gazing confusedly at her. "To have such longings?"
She reached up and cupped his face, the tips of her fingers stroking his red-gold beard. "No, my darling, it's not wrong. Not at all."
Obi-Wan turned his face, his lips sweeping across her fingertips. Onara's pulse jolted, the blood surging from her fingers and down to her heart where it began to beat madly.
"I came here to offer you my friendship," he whispered, his breath warm and soft across her fingers as he kissed them. "But I was a fool to think that was all I wanted to give you." He reached up and clasped her trembling hand in his, pressing his lips against the palm. "I am your friend, Onara," he murmured against her hand, "but I long so much to be more."
Onara closed her eyes as he continued to kiss her hand, his soft lips moving over her palm and back to her fingers where he gently kissed each tip. She felt as if she were going to faint and, as if having sensed this, Obi-Wan put his arm around her back and pressed her close against him, his mouth sliding to her wrist. He pressed the heat of his lips against the pounding of her pulse.
"Obi-Wan, please," but Onara did not know if she was begging him to stop or not to stop, but when he released her, she knew he had interpreted her plea as one of cessation.
She opened her eyes and looked at him, her gaze drawn to the mouth that had so tenderly kissed her hand. Then she looked up into his eyes and was struck by both the heat and the regret she saw in their blue-gray depths.
"I'm sorry, Onara. Forgive me. I don't know what came over me. That is not why I asked you to come. I do not wish to compromise you in any way."
Onara shook her head. "Don't apologize, Obi-Wan. I...I feel the same way," she confessed softly, "But we both know...."
She left her words unfinished, but Obi-Wan nodded solemnly. Then he sighed deeply and gave her a wistful smile that broke her heart.
"How is Ben?" he asked.
Onara's face broke in a wide smile at the mention of their son. "He's just fine. And he can't stop talking about his visit to the Temple. Thank you for spending some time with him."
"It was my pleasure. I much enjoyed our visit."
Onara moved closer. "Did you, Obi-Wan? Truly?"
"Yes, I did. Though, I must admit," he said with a rueful smile, "I'd never paid much attention to children before. I had no idea how much of a joy they can be."
Onara smiled. "The other thing, second to you, of course, that he talks most about are the lightsabers he said some children had. Is it true, Obi- Wan? Do you allow children at the Temple to play with such dangerous weapons?"
Obi-Wan laughed. "First, they're not dangerous. The lightsabers the younglings have are only practice ones. Second, it's not play. Their training with the lightsabers is a very serious affair. That is," and Obi- Wan grinned, his eyes dancing, "it was serious until Ben's voorpak got loose and he and the Bear Clan chased it through the halls."
Onara's eyes widened. "Oh, no, it did not!"
He laughed again. "It most certainly did. It's been the talk of the Temple the last few days."
Onara frowned fiercely, even as her lips were twisting into a smile. "That little scamp. He didn't say a word about it, but I should have suspected something."
"He's a wonderful child, Onara," Obi-Wan said, his eyes now serious and warm. "You and...and Dalan did a fine job bringing him up."
"He worships you, you know that, don't you?"
Obi-Wan nodded, but Onara could see a tinge of sadness in his eyes. She glanced around, noting that the hologram program had now cast the room in a soft darkness in which hundreds of stars and a large full moon graced the sky, the shadows of the trees and shrubs close and heavy about them. It reminded her, both painfully and happily, of the night of the blessing ceremony when she and Obi-Wan had stole away from the bridal chamber to watch the katara dance.
Obi-Wan's voice drifted to her through the moon-drenched air. "Will you and Dalan try again? For another child, I mean?"
She looked over at him, barely able to make out his features in the growing darkness, but his eyes burned in his shadowed face.
"I'm afraid to try again," she said, her voice tight.
"Do you want to try again?" he asked, his gaze catching and holding her.
Onara did not answer at first.
"I want another baby," she finally said into the silence that thrummed between them.
"Dalan's?" Obi-Wan's voice was taut, like a bow string that was about to snap.
Onara swallowed, her chest tightening. "I want another baby," she repeated, her voice a whisper.
Obi-Wan stared at her for a long moment, his handsome face set in thoughtful, reflective lines. Onara waited, for she sensed he was about to say something important.
"I've had dreams of late, Onara."
"Dreams?"
"Yes, over the past few months. Dreams about a child. A little girl."
Onara's breath caught in her chest, but she remained silent.
"At first," Obi-Wan went on, "I couldn't see her. She was always hidden from me. But I could hear her crying out for her father. I called out to her, telling her not to be afraid, that I would find her and take her to her father. But, when she heard me, she called me Papa."
Obi-Wan stopped and Onara waited, too anxious to even take a breath.
"Then, on the night before Anakin and I returned to Coruscant, I had another dream about her. But this time I saw her. She had your face, Onara, your eyes, your mouth, your hair, but...." Obi-Wan paused, his gaze boring into hers. "But I knew, when I finally saw her, that she was also mine."
Onara stood, blank and amazed, shaken by Obi-Wan's words. It was just a dream, she told herself. Just a dream.
"I'm married," she said faintly, but the words sounded hollow on her lips.
"I know you are."
"And you're a Jedi."
Obi-Wan nodded and took a step towards her.
"I won't betray my husband," she continued.
"I know you won't," he said softly, moving still closer to her.
"It was just a dream," she said desperately, flinging the words before her like a shield, hoping they would prevent what she both yearned for and dreaded.
"I know it was," Obi-Wan said as he drew her gently into his arms, her face pressed against the softness of his robe.
His heart beat, strong and hard, against her cheek and she felt the warmth of his skin under his tunic and, sighing deeply as she sank into his embrace, she breathed in the scent that always seemed to be about him; the smell of sweet herbs and incense.
Tears welled in her eyes and slid down her cheeks. "My baby. She...she was a girl."
"I know," Obi-Wan said as lifted her face towards his and kissed away her tears.
Onara clung to him as her months-old grief at the loss of her child surged within her, as fresh and bitter as the day she'd first felt it.
"Every day she grew inside me, I tried to imagine what she would look like."
Obi-Wan's warm lips moved slowly over her wet, quivering cheeks and Onara hugged him tighter.
"Would she have my eyes or Dalan's? My nose or his? Would she look like Ben? Would she be like him?"
A spasm of pain ripped through Onara as she rode out her agony. "Dalan said I killed her. How could he say such a terrible thing! I wanted to die when the physician told me I'd lost our baby! I wanted to die!"
Onara rocked wildly in Obi-Wan's arms, her sobs beating against him like waves against the shore, but like the shore he stood, solid and strong, letting her crash against him until her anguish became nothing more than the calm ripples of a quiet grief. Then, when her tears finally subsided, he gently pulled away.
She looked up at him, her eyes prickling with the remnants of her spent tears. His were so full of empathy and love it both healed and broke her heart. Then, closing her eyes, she waited. Waited until she finally felt his warm, sweet mouth descending upon hers and, throwing her arms fiercely about his neck, she gave herself, freely and willingly, to the passion of this long-desired kiss.
To be continued....
---------------
Onara stood in front of the red-framed door of the holo-arboretum in the Crystal Pavilion, her hands clasped nervously before her. It had been months since she was last here. That had been the night of Senator Rhygdon's ball, when Obi-Wan had whisked her away from it and brought her here. He had placed his palm upon the rectangular piece of gray metal next to the door and it had opened for him.
Now, as Onara clenched her fingers tighter, she wondered if she needed to do the same thing in order to gain entrance. Then she wondered if she should even be here. She had made a promise, both to Dalan and to herself, to be a good wife and do all she could to ensure that their marriage worked. Coming to see Obi-Wan was, she knew, not the thing she should be doing if she intended to keep that promise.
Just as Onara was about to turn away, the door to the holo-arboretum whished open. Her heart beat faster and she felt the rapid pulse in her fingers as she gripped them tighter. She hesitated for a moment, caught between her need to flee this place and her desire to see Obi-Wan. Her desire won out and she stepped inside.
Just as it had been when she and Obi-Wan were here last, the room was filled with the tress, shrubs, grass and flowers of one of the fabled gardens of Suheb Province. Onara knew it was just a mirage, however, created by holographic technology, but her breath caught in her throat at the beauty of it all, her heart aching for her homeworld.
Moving slowly through the room, she saw no sign of anyone else, but she sensed Obi-Wan was nearby. It was as if there was a connection between them that belied explanation, but filled her with a warm thrill of anticipation. She walked further into the room, the hem of her skirt swishing over the floor. Then she stopped, and her heart thudded in her chest.
A figure stood just a few feet away, in front of a bush of honeyroses, clad in a dark brown robe, its back to her and the hood of the robe drawn over its head. Onara moved closer, the blood rushing through her veins. Just as she reached the figure, it slowly turned, pulling the hood down upon the shoulders of the robe and, as Onara looked up into that beloved face and those mystifying blue-gray eyes, her heart wrenching with both love and foreboding, she now knew for certain she should not have come.
"My lady," Obi-Wan said, his voice soft, but husky. "I hoped you would come."
"I should not have," Onara whispered as she moved closer.
"I know. But I'm glad you did."
Onara tried to speak, but her throat was suddenly too tight and it felt as if there was not enough air in the room. Being here with him, alone, it was too dangerous. She had to leave. Now, before it was too late. She quickly turned to go, but felt his hand upon her arm, restraining her, but ever so gently.
"Don't go. Please."
She turned back to him, her eyes locked on his.
"I've missed you so much," Obi-Wan went on, his eyes imploring her to stay. "I would not harm you for the world, Onara, so if you want to leave, I will let you, but, please...."
He stopped and Onara saw that, like her, he too found it difficult to speak. She reached over and placed her palm on the back of his hand where it lay on her arm, noting how warm and muscular his hand was. A current seemed to jump between them and she heard him sharply catch his breath.
"You do not have to beg me to stay, Obi-Wan," Onara replied as she gazed tenderly up at him.
"But I would," he offered, his eyes looking deeply into hers. "I would do anything to spend this time with you."
"Anything?" Onara asked in a teasing voice as she gently squeezed his hand.
"Well, just about anything," Obi-Wan said, laughter in his voice as he led her further into the holo-arboretum.
They walked for a bit, their silence like a bridge which either could cross whenever the other was ready. Onara noted Obi-Wan must have programmed the hologram for sunset because the room slowly began to darken and through the trees she saw red, pink and orange layers of light filling the holographic horizon.
They stopped, her hand now clasped about his arm, and together they watched the sun set. Once it was below the horizon and the sky purpled towards night, Onara drew her gaze away and looked up at Obi-Wan.
"Thank you. That was so very beautiful."
"It was. But nowhere near as beautiful as you."
Onara looked down and away, her cheeks burning at his words. She gripped his arm, even as she again felt that overwhelming rush to turn and go. She had promised, she told herself firmly. She had promised to be a good wife. But how could she be a good wife when she was standing next to the man she still loved and would always love?
"Why did you ask me here, Obi-Wan?" she finally asked, her lips trembling as she said his name.
"Because I wanted to see you. Because Ben told me....he told me he had heard you crying. I can't stand the thought of you crying, Onara. I can't stand the thought of anyone making you cry. Even if he is your husband."
Onara drew her hand away, noting the pained look in Obi-Wan's eyes when she did so, but willing herself to ignore it.
"Being married isn't always blissful, Obi-Wan. Husbands and wives sometimes argue and say things that hurt the other."
"I know that. But what he said to you..." Obi-Wan stopped and moved closer, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you? About my miscarriage?"
She swallowed heavily, trying to ignore the way her skin flared at his touch. "It was between me and Dalan." Then she bit her lip at the flare of pain she saw in his eyes.
"Of course," he said softly as he released her. "You're right. Please, forgive me."
Onara stared at him, cursing herself for her hasty words. Was that her fate, she wondered, to always hurt those who loved her?
"I was so happy when the physician told me I was pregnant," she suddenly said, aware she should not be speaking to Obi-Wan about this, but needing to, she now realized. "I thought it would make things better between us."
"Had things between you been so bad?" he asked, and Onara was grateful to see gentle concern in his eyes instead of the anguish that had been there before.
"Not bad, but not good either." Onara looked down, her shoulders slumping. "I should never have married him, Obi-Wan. It was wrong."
She looked up at him when she felt his hands on her shoulders again.
"You married him for the sake of your people, Onara. And because..." Obi- Wan stopped and, removing one of his hands from her shoulder, gently stroked her cheek, "....and because I asked you to. Don't blame yourself. If anyone is to blame it's me."
"You?"
Obi-Wan nodded, his finger still moving along the curve of her cheek. A knot formed in her throat.
"I wanted you to marry Dalan so that I would not feel guilty for having left you and Ben. But now..." Obi-Wan stopped, moving his hand away and Onara silently mourned the loss of his touch. "...now if I had it to do all over again, I would not have given you so willingly to another man."
"But I know why you did it, Obi-Wan. Because you knew, as well as I, that your destiny is to be a Jedi Knight."
"A Jedi Knight," Obi-Wan repeated, but Onara was stunned to hear a note of bitterness in his voice. "Yes, I am a Jedi Knight. But I'm also a man. With a man's longings and desires."
Her heart stuttered at his words. Yes, he was a man, and she loved him as both man and Jedi, as father to their son and lover to her. And she would have, she now realized, loved him even more as husband.
"Is that wrong?" he asked her, suddenly sounding to Onara like a bewildered little boy, his blue-gray eyes gazing confusedly at her. "To have such longings?"
She reached up and cupped his face, the tips of her fingers stroking his red-gold beard. "No, my darling, it's not wrong. Not at all."
Obi-Wan turned his face, his lips sweeping across her fingertips. Onara's pulse jolted, the blood surging from her fingers and down to her heart where it began to beat madly.
"I came here to offer you my friendship," he whispered, his breath warm and soft across her fingers as he kissed them. "But I was a fool to think that was all I wanted to give you." He reached up and clasped her trembling hand in his, pressing his lips against the palm. "I am your friend, Onara," he murmured against her hand, "but I long so much to be more."
Onara closed her eyes as he continued to kiss her hand, his soft lips moving over her palm and back to her fingers where he gently kissed each tip. She felt as if she were going to faint and, as if having sensed this, Obi-Wan put his arm around her back and pressed her close against him, his mouth sliding to her wrist. He pressed the heat of his lips against the pounding of her pulse.
"Obi-Wan, please," but Onara did not know if she was begging him to stop or not to stop, but when he released her, she knew he had interpreted her plea as one of cessation.
She opened her eyes and looked at him, her gaze drawn to the mouth that had so tenderly kissed her hand. Then she looked up into his eyes and was struck by both the heat and the regret she saw in their blue-gray depths.
"I'm sorry, Onara. Forgive me. I don't know what came over me. That is not why I asked you to come. I do not wish to compromise you in any way."
Onara shook her head. "Don't apologize, Obi-Wan. I...I feel the same way," she confessed softly, "But we both know...."
She left her words unfinished, but Obi-Wan nodded solemnly. Then he sighed deeply and gave her a wistful smile that broke her heart.
"How is Ben?" he asked.
Onara's face broke in a wide smile at the mention of their son. "He's just fine. And he can't stop talking about his visit to the Temple. Thank you for spending some time with him."
"It was my pleasure. I much enjoyed our visit."
Onara moved closer. "Did you, Obi-Wan? Truly?"
"Yes, I did. Though, I must admit," he said with a rueful smile, "I'd never paid much attention to children before. I had no idea how much of a joy they can be."
Onara smiled. "The other thing, second to you, of course, that he talks most about are the lightsabers he said some children had. Is it true, Obi- Wan? Do you allow children at the Temple to play with such dangerous weapons?"
Obi-Wan laughed. "First, they're not dangerous. The lightsabers the younglings have are only practice ones. Second, it's not play. Their training with the lightsabers is a very serious affair. That is," and Obi- Wan grinned, his eyes dancing, "it was serious until Ben's voorpak got loose and he and the Bear Clan chased it through the halls."
Onara's eyes widened. "Oh, no, it did not!"
He laughed again. "It most certainly did. It's been the talk of the Temple the last few days."
Onara frowned fiercely, even as her lips were twisting into a smile. "That little scamp. He didn't say a word about it, but I should have suspected something."
"He's a wonderful child, Onara," Obi-Wan said, his eyes now serious and warm. "You and...and Dalan did a fine job bringing him up."
"He worships you, you know that, don't you?"
Obi-Wan nodded, but Onara could see a tinge of sadness in his eyes. She glanced around, noting that the hologram program had now cast the room in a soft darkness in which hundreds of stars and a large full moon graced the sky, the shadows of the trees and shrubs close and heavy about them. It reminded her, both painfully and happily, of the night of the blessing ceremony when she and Obi-Wan had stole away from the bridal chamber to watch the katara dance.
Obi-Wan's voice drifted to her through the moon-drenched air. "Will you and Dalan try again? For another child, I mean?"
She looked over at him, barely able to make out his features in the growing darkness, but his eyes burned in his shadowed face.
"I'm afraid to try again," she said, her voice tight.
"Do you want to try again?" he asked, his gaze catching and holding her.
Onara did not answer at first.
"I want another baby," she finally said into the silence that thrummed between them.
"Dalan's?" Obi-Wan's voice was taut, like a bow string that was about to snap.
Onara swallowed, her chest tightening. "I want another baby," she repeated, her voice a whisper.
Obi-Wan stared at her for a long moment, his handsome face set in thoughtful, reflective lines. Onara waited, for she sensed he was about to say something important.
"I've had dreams of late, Onara."
"Dreams?"
"Yes, over the past few months. Dreams about a child. A little girl."
Onara's breath caught in her chest, but she remained silent.
"At first," Obi-Wan went on, "I couldn't see her. She was always hidden from me. But I could hear her crying out for her father. I called out to her, telling her not to be afraid, that I would find her and take her to her father. But, when she heard me, she called me Papa."
Obi-Wan stopped and Onara waited, too anxious to even take a breath.
"Then, on the night before Anakin and I returned to Coruscant, I had another dream about her. But this time I saw her. She had your face, Onara, your eyes, your mouth, your hair, but...." Obi-Wan paused, his gaze boring into hers. "But I knew, when I finally saw her, that she was also mine."
Onara stood, blank and amazed, shaken by Obi-Wan's words. It was just a dream, she told herself. Just a dream.
"I'm married," she said faintly, but the words sounded hollow on her lips.
"I know you are."
"And you're a Jedi."
Obi-Wan nodded and took a step towards her.
"I won't betray my husband," she continued.
"I know you won't," he said softly, moving still closer to her.
"It was just a dream," she said desperately, flinging the words before her like a shield, hoping they would prevent what she both yearned for and dreaded.
"I know it was," Obi-Wan said as he drew her gently into his arms, her face pressed against the softness of his robe.
His heart beat, strong and hard, against her cheek and she felt the warmth of his skin under his tunic and, sighing deeply as she sank into his embrace, she breathed in the scent that always seemed to be about him; the smell of sweet herbs and incense.
Tears welled in her eyes and slid down her cheeks. "My baby. She...she was a girl."
"I know," Obi-Wan said as lifted her face towards his and kissed away her tears.
Onara clung to him as her months-old grief at the loss of her child surged within her, as fresh and bitter as the day she'd first felt it.
"Every day she grew inside me, I tried to imagine what she would look like."
Obi-Wan's warm lips moved slowly over her wet, quivering cheeks and Onara hugged him tighter.
"Would she have my eyes or Dalan's? My nose or his? Would she look like Ben? Would she be like him?"
A spasm of pain ripped through Onara as she rode out her agony. "Dalan said I killed her. How could he say such a terrible thing! I wanted to die when the physician told me I'd lost our baby! I wanted to die!"
Onara rocked wildly in Obi-Wan's arms, her sobs beating against him like waves against the shore, but like the shore he stood, solid and strong, letting her crash against him until her anguish became nothing more than the calm ripples of a quiet grief. Then, when her tears finally subsided, he gently pulled away.
She looked up at him, her eyes prickling with the remnants of her spent tears. His were so full of empathy and love it both healed and broke her heart. Then, closing her eyes, she waited. Waited until she finally felt his warm, sweet mouth descending upon hers and, throwing her arms fiercely about his neck, she gave herself, freely and willingly, to the passion of this long-desired kiss.
To be continued....