After Coop had been dismissed he wasn't sure what to do with Ender.
"It's still your day off Hawkes, you might as well enjoy it," McQueen interrupted his thoughts.
Nodding slightly, Coop went off in search of the rest of the 58th. After checking the barracks, Cooper and Ender found themselves in the Saratoga's recreation room. Inside the rec. room were various soldiers playing games and such, as well as the Wildcards who were all sitting down watching an old movie on the vid screen.
"Hey Coop, take a seat. Paul is trying to, what did he say, 'Give us some culture'." Vanessa said as she noticed Hawkes and the little boy approach.
With a shrug Cooper sat down on the floor in front of the couch where Shane, Nathan, Paul, and Vanessa sat. After watching for a few minutes of watching a bunch of ridiculously dressed people running around saying even more ridiculous things, Coop finally turned around and asked Paul, "What is this?"
"The title of it is Spaceballs; it's a spoof off this movie that was really big back in the late 20th century, Star Wars."
Not wanting to make Paul mad by asking more questions about a movie he obviously liked, Cooper sat back and watched as a bunch of guys were dragging giant combs through a desert. Ender looked up at him, confusion written all over his face. All Cooper could do was shake his head and shrug; all the while Paul was behind them laughing hysterically every 5 minutes.
About an hour later, Cooper had long ago given up trying to understand the movie, and was concentrating on the boy in his lap. Ender had fallen to sleep a little while ago, the boy slept a lot. After all the time he spent thinking about Ender's plight, Cooper had come up with no new answers. He had to get the boy to speak, and more than that, Cooper needed to get him to remember his first few days of life. Invitros generally had very good memories, after all they needed to be able to remember complex orders given in battle, but not very often did they want to remember that far back. Cooper could vividly remember his birth and the following time he spent in that damn training center. He could remember how scared and confused he was when he first emerged from his tank. He knew nothing; he was an infant in a big body. Ender was different though. He may not know how things work exactly, but he could understand what's going on and how it affected him for the most part. Cooper knew that Ender could speak, he could see it in his eyes, and he just didn't know what was stopping him from doing so. Though, in truth, Cooper was scared to just ask him, and risk driving the boy away from him.
Soon the movie ended, and it was obvious that nobody but Paul had truly appreciated the humor of it. Cooper had been still and quiet for 4 hours so far that day, and he was getting fidgety. Shane looked down at Coop and laughed.
"Give him here Coop, you're gonna wake him up," Shane chuckled.
Looking up to see if Shane meant it, Cooper reluctantly gathered Ender in his arms, stood, and gently transferred him into Shane's waiting arms. Cooper was hoping he hadn't woken the boy, but Ender knew that Cooper wasn't holding him anymore. Ender woke long enough to get a promise that Cooper was going to come back, and then warily sunk back into Shane's arms to sleep some more. With a grateful smile, Cooper left to go for a run, and work off some of his hyper energy.
Ender slept for a while, and Shane flipped through the Vid channels, but soon both tired of their activities. Ender sat up as the Vid landed on a news station, which was giving the latest publicized war efforts. Ender watched the Vid with interest, and when the report was finished, looked up at Shane with confusion.
"Heh, that's right, you don't even know about this war do you?" Shane answered Ender's silent questions. "Well, you might as well know what's going on around here." Shane picked up Ender and headed over to one of the computer consuls used for accessing the media archives. Settling down with Ender in her lap, Shane showed him how to operate the computer, and soon the boy was devouring every piece of information he could.
Half an hour later, Ender and Shane were still seated at the consul when Cooper came back from his run.
"Hey Coop, he's been waiting for you," Shane greeted Cooper and looked down at the small boy in her lap. Ender looked up curiously from the screen at a still sweating Coop. When Coop came up to see what Ender had been looking at, Ender looked up at him and wrinkled his nose.
Shane laughed, "I think you need to hit the showers Coop, you're gonna stink everyone out of here."
Coop could only grin sheepishly and nod. "I'll be back in a few," Coop assured Ender, and then left to clean up.
After Coop left Ender looked back up at the screen. He was reading an article titled, "War Casualties Hit Home." The article described several families that had lost their children in the war. This article got to Ender, and he starting thinking very unpleasant thoughts. This ship is on the front lines of this war. These people, that have taken me in and been so kind to me, they could die just as easily as the soldiers in these articles. Cooper could die tomorrow, and I'd be alone again. The thought was very sobering, and the more Ender thought about it, the more it seemed to disturb him. By the time Cooper came back, Ender was scared out of his mind. There were too many emotions flowing through Ender for his own liking. He knew what each one of them was: fear, pain, loneliness, anger, but he had no idea how to deal with these emotions, so fresh and new to him.
Cooper, seeing the odd expression on Ender's face, approached with caution. Shane greeted Coop, and happily ended the babysitter duty. "Not that I mind Coop, but I've been dying for a hand of poker," Shane had explained with a laugh as she handed the small boy over to Cooper. Shane walked off to the Tun to go play poker, and Coop carried young Ender to the couch in the near empty Rec. room.
"Hey, what's wrong," Coop's voice was laden with concern. Ender only curled up in Cooper's lap and fell into an agitated sleep. The rest of the day, Ender remained in an odd, agitated mood, but still maintained his silence. Finally, as the day wound to a close and the 58th were bunking down, preparing for their shift of duty the next day, Cooper watched as Ender looked around the barracks warily, and then finally buried himself in Coop's arms.
A few hours later, the barracks was quiet, and Ender had awakened. His sleep had been uneasy, and the images of the dead soldiers from the picture kept flashing in his mind. For a while, he laid still, not wanting to wake Cooper, or anyone else. Soon, though, Ender could be still no longer and silently removed himself from the bed. After walking around the barracks, reassuring himself that his friends were all still alive, Ender left the room. The corridors were fairly empty at this time of night, so there was no one to notice the tiny boy walking aimlessly. For a half hour, Ender wandered through the Saratoga, trying to sort out all of the new and powerful emotions that were now affecting him. Ender could recognize his frustration at having all this knowledge, but being so confused. Unfortunately, this was one of the only emotions that he could make any sense of. Ender finally ended up in the observation room next to the flight deck. He watched, fascinated, as the flight crew interacted with each other while performing repairs on the Hammerheads.
Cooper had wakened soon after Ender had restlessly left his arms; already he had become accustomed to the small body cuddled next to him at night. Dragging himself from the bed, Cooper pulled on his pants and boots to go look for the boy. Okay, all I have to do is think how I would have acted when I was a "baby" Wandering around the corridors, Coop thought about his first few days of life, the vids, the monitors; all of it still gave him anxiety. After a few minutes of groggily walking around, Coop spotted the hatch to the observation room and knew that was where Ender had escaped. Opening the hatch and stepping inside, Cooper immediately saw him sitting in a chair, watching the flight deck. Coop was definitely feeling awkward and nervous, and still had no idea what he was gonna do about this latest development, so he simply took a seat in the chair next to Ender. For a few long minutes, neither said anything.
"I'm scared," Ender broke the silence.
"Of what?" Cooper knew that Ender couldn't keep his silence forever, so he was only partially shocked to hear him speak.
"Of these emotions that I don't understand." Ender looked up at Cooper, his face a mixture of anger and sadness.
"Well, I'm not sure I'm the one you should be talkin' to if you wanna know about that kind of stuff, but I'll give it a shot kid."
-end part 4-