Stars in the Darkness - Part Thirty-Six
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Obi-Wan awoke and, for a moment, as he opened his eyes and the ceiling of his quarters in the Jedi Temple focused into view, it felt like the beginning of any other day.
And then he remembered.
Grief crushed his chest like a boulder. He drew in a ragged, sobbing breath. Sleep was nothing but a curse to him now, his throat closing with pain. Slumber brought the peace of oblivion, but upon awakening, it deserted you and you were once again conscious, and faced with the awareness that living was almost too painful to bear.
His son was dead, and the woman he loved now hated him. Never had Obi-Wan felt such despair, such desolation of the spirit. But, he rose from his bed and went about his daily routine of preparing for the day, his movements perfunctory and precise, fearful that if he deviated one iota from his daily habits he would collapse into madness.
Once he was dressed in his extra set of Jedi clothing, he hung Dalan's clothes in a closet. He would return them and get his own clothes back later. He was still a Jedi, even if he had closed himself off from the Force.
As he went into the front area, he stopped. Pain pierced him, sharp and deep. The light from the window was shining on the picture Ben had drawn for him, the one Obi-Wan had hung up on the wall. He walked over to it. He took it down, staring at the childlike drawing, his eyes reading over and over Ben's innocent words.
Tears filled Obi-Wan's eyes and he held the picture tight to his chest. He then put the picture back on the wall. No more tears, he told himself. For Onara' sake he needed to be strong. She had need of him. Even if she could no longer find it in her heart to look upon him.
He headed towards the door, then noted the message light on his comm unit blinking. He activated it. The message was from Yoda, asking Obi-Wan to meet with him that morning. Obi-Wan erased it. He would meet with Yoda later.
His first priority was Onara. Nothing mattered at the moment but her and, if truth be told, he wasn't ready to face the Jedi Master just yet. He wasn't sure he could trust what he would say or do. He sent Anakin a brief text message, informing him he was going to the hospital to visit Onara and would see him later.
Leaving his quarters and making his way towards the entrance of the Temple, Obi-Wan could not help but notice the other Jedi in the hall stealing glances at him. Most were curious looks, but a few were full of sadness and sympathy.
Obi-Wan did not stop to talk to anyone, however, but he did nod at those who passed by. Though he could not sense what any of them were feeling through the Force, as he was closed to it, he was sure most, if not all, had heard what had happened yesterday to Onara and Ben. And most, if not all, knew of his connection to them.
But, Obi-Wan had no wish to talk to anyone and was relieved when he finally exited and walked out into the bright morning air. The world beyond the Temple bustled about him, people hurrying past in pursuit of their own affairs, speeders and transports whizzing overhead. It all seemed so normal. And it was for those who were lucky enough not to be him. Walking some distance from the Temple, he took a lift to a air-bus terminal and boarded one that would take him to the hospital.
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As Obi-Wan walked down the hall towards Onara's room, he saw Dalan standing outside it, talking to Onara's physician, Dr. Manu. As he drew nearer, both turned at his approach.
"Master Kenobi," Dalan said, as he took Obi-Wan's arm.
The Dynast looked much better than he had yesterday. He had shaved, his eyes were no longer bloodshot, and he was as Obi-Wan had first seen him back on Ahjane when he and Onara were pledged to marry. A tall, handsome man with an imposing presence.
"Dynast Lenor. You are well?"
"I feel much better physically, but..." Dalan lowered his head. Obi-Wan took his arm and squeezed it. The Dynast looked back at him.
"I want to thank you, Master Kenobi. For all that you've done. I know you did your best to protect Onara and Ben. And I am grateful for that. And I'm also grateful for what you did for me. I don't know if I would have made it through yesterday without your strength."
"We both love her, Dynast Lenor. And we both loved Ben."
Dalan stared at Obi-Wan for a moment, then nodded. "Yes, that is true. If only I could have accepted that and not let it drive me mad with jealously."
"You mustn't blame yourself for what Lursan did. You had no part in that. He acted on his own."
Dalan frowned. "I'm not so sure about that, but I still don't understand why he would want to harm them"
"Was there any connection that you know of between him and Onara?"
"No, none at all. He hadn't even met Onara until we came to Coruscant. As for me, I had heard of him before we met. He's a well-known businessman on Ahjane. But, I'd had no dealings with him prior to that."
Obi-Wan thought for a moment. "Perhaps Onara's father, K'lia. Might Lursan have known him?"
"I'm not sure, but I don't think so."
"Lady Tsara then?"
Dalan frowned at the mention of Onara's grandmother. "Who knows what shady dealings that woman might have been involved in or who she might have crossed. No, I'm sorry, Master Kenobi. I don't know of any connection between Lursan and Onara. Only he can tell us. And I fully intend to find out why he did what he did when I go the Hall of Judgment to give my statement to the authorities. Once that's done, I shall then contact the Assembly and request the extradition of Lursan to Ahjane."
The Dynast moved closer to Obi-Wan, his dark blue eyes suddenly cold. "We may be a recent admission to the Republic, and we are well aware of its stance on the death penalty, but on Ahjane, once Lursan is found guilty, he will be put to death. Slowly and methodically. I promise you that."
Obi-Wan said nothing. Though a part of him was repulsed at the idea of any government having the power to take a life since, as a Jedi, he had been taught that all life was sacred, another part of him, the part that had been born in the __Hall of Worlds__ was pleased at the prospect of Lursan's death. Then he noted Dr. Manu staring at him.
"How is Onara?" Obi-Wan asked him.
Dr. Manu and Dalan exchanged a worried glance. Obi-Wan's heart lurched. "She's not----"
"No, Master Jedi," Dr. Manu quickly assured him. "She's still alive, but..."
He stopped and looked over at Dalan. The Dynast reached over and took Obi- Wan's arm. "Perhaps it's best if you see for yourself."
He opened the door and led Obi-Wan into Onara's room, Dr. Manu behind them. Onara was lying on the bed, but Obi-Wan noted there was now a machine hooked up to her arm. A pale gold liquid flowed from the machine through a tube and into her arm. He moved closer. Onara's eyes were open, but stared sightlessly up at the ceiling. Obi-Wan reached over and gently touched her face, but she did not stir. He whirled around.
"What's wrong with her."
"It's called yanol," Dalan told him. "The grief unyielding."
"Yanol?"
Dalan nodded as he moved to the other side of Onara's bed and stroked her dark hair.
"It sometimes happen among our people," he explained. "When a grief is too much to bear, some of us enter the yanol. It's a spiritual state within which the soul can hide until it is once again able to face the pain." Dalan slowly shook his head. "All mothers are close to their children, but the love Onara had for Ben was unlike any I'd ever witnessed. It was almost as if they were one soul."
He stopped and looked over at Obi-Wan. "A great deal of that love had much to do with you, Master Kenobi. I could not bring myself to accept it, but I knew the truth of it. She loves you very much."
Obi-Wan closed his eyes. No longer, he thought. She would never forgive him for what he'd done. He opened his eyes and noted Dalan staring at him.
"How long does this yanol last?" he asked.
Dalan drew his gaze away from Obi-Wan and looked down at Onara. "Usually only a few days, but it has been known to last for weeks. I heard of a man in my province who remained in the yanol for over a year after he had lost his entire family in a fire."
Obi-Wan's blood ran cold. He could not imagine Onara lying in such a state for even a day, much less a year. It was a living death. But it was he who had done this to her. He had not only told her their son was dead, but that he had allowed his spirit to fall into the Abyss because he had been more of a Jedi than a father. The pain of that betrayal, coupled with the loss of her only child was, apparently, more than she'd been able to endure.
"What will happen to her?" he asked
"Dr. Manu says she can be released later this week," Dalan replied. "I've made arrangements to take her and Ben..." he paused, his throat full of tears,"....back to Ahjane. I contacted the Assembly and they will send someone to take over as Senator until new elections are held."
"Is there no way we can bring her out of it?" Obi-Wan asked Dr. Manu.
Dr. Manu shook his head, his face tentacles flailing. "After Dynast Lenor told me what was afflicting her, I did some research on it. In all the cases reported on Ahjane, no medical treatment was successful in alleviating this condition."
"They have to come out of it themselves," Dalan added.
"And do they?" Obi-Wan asked, fearing the answer.
"Most do," Dalan replied. "But, some do not."
"What of her physical state?"
"She'll need constant care," Dr. Manu answered. "She'll have to be given nutrients intravenously, her arms and legs exercised, the standard care given to those suffering from comas. As far as I can determine, however, there should be no permanent physiological damage once she comes out of it, but in her current psychological state, she will be incapable of caring for herself."
"I will take care of her," Dalan murmured, his hand gently cupping her face. "I don't care what it costs or what I have to give up."
Obi-Wan walked around the bed and stood next to Dalan. He took the Dynast's hand and placed it over Onara's where it lay on the bed.
"I know you will, Dalan. And, please, don't despair. Onara will come back to you and, I think, you may find things will be different between the two of you."
Dalan shook his head as he gazed down at Onara. "I don't care if things aren't different between us, Obi-Wan. I don't care if she never loves me. I can live with that now. She's my wife, and I love her and, for as long as I live, I'll take care of her. I'll spend my life making amends for what part I played in this horror."
Obi-Wan squeezed Dalan's hand where it lay over Onara's. Then he looked over at her, drinking in her face, her presence, wishing he'd had a chance to say goodbye. He glanced at Dalan, desperately trying to hide his tears.
"May I?" he asked.
Dalan nodded and moved away from the bed. Obi-Wan leaned over and gently kissed Onara. Her lips were warm and soft, but she did not return his kiss, and, even if she were conscious, he suspected she would not want to. He pressed his lips against hers for a moment longer, then moved away and, turning, left the room.
Once outside, Obi-Wan stood for moment. It's for the best, he told himself, even as fiery tendrils of pain lanced through him. She had no further need of him. Dalan would take care of her. He was her husband, after all, and she his wife.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes. He had lost her; as he'd lost Ben, as he'd lost any chance for a different kind of life, as he'd lost everything, for he wasn't entirely sure he could return to the life he'd had before he met Onara.
He opened his eyes and looked back at the door to her room. __Farewell, my love__. He pulled the hood of his robe over his head and left the hospital.
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After leaving the hospital, Obi-Wan spent the rest of the day alone. He walked among Coruscant's towering transparisteel and duracrete skyscrapers, tread down its broad, straight avenues and its tiny, twisting streets, strode past hovels and palaces, wandered through entertainment districts, housing boroughs and mercantile zones.
And, as he walked, he soon became one of the faceless billions who lived, worked and died on this teeming planet-wide metropolis, center of the Galactic Republic to which, as a member of the Jedi Order, he had sworn his allegiance and his life to.
At one point during his walk it rained, for occasionally storms would coalesce out of the water evaporating from the millions of exhaust vents on the rooftops. Raindrops pattered on his hood as he trudged through the sudden downpour, a staccato accompaniment to the sluggish beating of his heart.
During his walkabout he even traversed the lower levels, moving through the neon-lit darkness, only dimly aware of the sea of faces that streamed past him. Occasionally someone would approach him, a cut-thief, a dolly-girl, a deathstick dealer, but noting the lightsaber glinting on his belt and the warning blaze of those blue-gray eyes, they hurriedly scurried away.
Finally, having worn himself out both in body and spirit, Obi-Wan returned to the Jedi Temple. It was now early evening, the setting sun tinting the purpling sky with saffron and citrus and gold. He walked through the huge Temple doors, built, so it was rumored, to humble all Jedi upon entering and to remind them that no matter how gifted or powerful they were with the Force, before its absolute grandeur and glory they were as motes of dust in the air. Nothing and everything.
Hood over his head, raindrops shimmering on the soft, brown wool and his boots, wet from the rain, squeaking against the polished floor, Obi-Wan made his way through the spacious main atrium. He was heading to his quarters, wanting to mediate before going to see Yoda, but he stopped when he heard his name being called. He turned and was surprised to see Aayla Secura running towards him.
Aalya was a Jedi, one of the rare blue-skinned Rutian Twi'leks. Beautiful, sensual and clad in what Obi-Wan still considered an immodest outfit for a Jedi uniform, since it left both her slender shoulders and taut midriff bare, she had once been padawan to Quinlan Vos. While on a mission some years ago, both had been stripped of their memories, but had recovered; Aayla having retrieved her memories from where they had been stored in her lekku, Quinlan through retraining. Aayla had recently become a Jedi Knight, and she and Anakin had also become something of friends.
"Master Kenobi," she cried, her lovely blue eyes wide. "We've been looking for you all day."
"I've been out walking."
"Then you haven't heard?"
"Heard what?"
"Dynast Lenor. He's dead."
"What?" Obi-Wan cried. He grabbed Ayala by the arms. "Onara? Is she all right?"
"Yes, she's at the hospital. It was an air traffic accident. Happened just after the Dynast left her. Both he and the air-taxi driver were killed. There are still some questions, but it looks as if a droid-operated air-van veered out of its designated traffic path and crashed into the taxi. When we heard, we tried to contact you."
Obi-Wan released her arms. "I turned off my comlink."
"We thought as much, Anakin and I. He wanted to go and look for you, but when we got the other news, he went to the hospital instead."
"Other news?"
Aalya nodded, her expression grim, her lekkus twitching along her slim back.
"A few hours after Dynast Lenor's death, Lursan was released from the Hall of Judgment, the charges against him dismissed. Anakin, fearful he might try to finish what he'd started, went to the hospital to guard Senator Lenor. Sinja-Bau is with him. I remained here in case you came back."
Obi-Wan turned and was about to run through the Temple doors, but he stopped when he heard Aayla's voice. He looked back at her.
"May the Force be with you, Master Kenobi," she said softly.
Obi-Wan stared at her, then nodded. He still could not bring himself to feel the Force, but he was thankful for her words. He turned and ran out of the Temple.
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"Master," Anakin cried as Obi-Wan approached him.
His Padawan was standing outside Onara's room, his hand on his lightsaber, his black cloak draped around him. Even from down the hall, Obi-Wan had noted Anakin's stance, the alert focus and calm readiness of a Jedi prepared either for attack or defense. Pride surged through him. Perhaps, he thought, he had not totally failed. He knew he had trained Anakin well, just as had promised his master he would.
"You've heard," Anakin said as Obi-Wan stopped in front of him.
"Yes, both about Dalan and Lursan's release. Thank you for coming here to watch over Onara."
"You don't have to thank me, Master. There was no way I was going to leave her unguarded with that monster running around loose. I contacted the Senate to see if they would send some of their Guards over to help protect her, but.." and Anakin's face twisted with disgust,"...I was told by some mealy-mouthed civil servant that since Onara was no longer a Senator, Dynast Lenor having put in a request to Ahjane for a replacement for her, there was nothing they could do."
"It doesn't matter. We'll protect her. Where is Sinja-Bau?"
Anakin gestured with his head at the door. Then he looked at Obi-Wan, his face draped in sorrow. "I'm sorry about what's happened to her, Master. And to Dalan. These are black days."
"Yes, they are. But we must remain strong, in spite of them."
He reached over and gave Anakin's arm a hard, reassuring squeeze, then went through the door and into Onara's room. Sinja-Bau rose from her chair as he entered. Obi-Wan was surprised to see she now wore the outfit of a Jedi Master Healer, a lightsaber hanging from a belt at her waist.
But, before he could say a word, she walked over and put her arms around him. Obi-Wan closed his eyes as he returned her hug, drawing deeply from her strength and her warmth.
"Will the darkness ever end?" she whispered.
"I don't know," Obi-Wan answered, his heart filled with more sorrow than he could bear. "But we must hold on. We must remain strong for those who have need of us."
Sinja-Bau pulled away and looked up at him, her blue-green eyes misty.
"Yes, we must. But, Obi-Wan, poor Dalan. If only we could have been there for him and somehow prevented this. He was here when I came to see Onara. I had hurt him the other day, but he forgave me, and I saw he was once again the Dalan I remembered before Lursan came into our lives." She frowned. "It wasn't an accident, Obi-Wan. His death. It's too much of a coincidence."
Obi-Wan agreed. "But, it couldn't have been Lursan. He was still in custody."
"No, not Lursan, but someone connected to him."
"Senator Gillom," Obi-Wan said, his voice grim. Sinja-Bau nodded.
He moved away from her and over to Onara's bed. She was as he had left her that morning, but her eyes were now closed. He touched her cheek.
"I can't bear to see her like this," he said in a low, pained voice. "But, now, with Dalan's death, perhaps it's best she remain in her world of twilight."
Sinja-Bau moved next to him and put her hand on his arm as she gazed down at Onara.
"You don't mean that, Obi-Wan. Onara is strong. When she comes back, she'll have a great of deal of healing to do, but she'll survive." Sinja-Bau looked over at him. "I tried to use my Force powers to help her, but there was nothing I could do. She will have to come out of this on her own. And she will, when she is ready. When she finally believes herself strong enough to face Ben's death."
Obi-Wan nodded. And my betrayal, he added silently. He reached over and took Onara's hand. So many losses she'd had to endure in such a short time. Her father, her son, now her husband, all gone. Then he thought of Lursan, and Obi-Wan knew in his heart that as long as he was free and alive, Onara would never be safe. He gently placed her hand on the bed and turned to Sinja-Bau.
"Will you stay with her?"
"Of course I will. But, where are you going?"
"I have something I must do, but I'll return as soon as I can."
He turned to leave, but Sinja-Bau grabbed his arm.
"I will not gainsay what you are about to do, Obi-Wan. Although I have reaffirmed my vows to the Jedi Order, I too want Lursan to pay for what he has done. Ben was my light, my joy, and there is such a wound in my heart at his passing that I know it will never heal. But, before you act, my brother, search your soul and make certain the path you are about to take is the right one."
Obi-Wan put his hand over Sinja-Bau's where it lay on his arm.
"I suspect that the path I now take is one that was laid out for me the first time I laid eyes on Onara, clinging to her father's arm when he brought her to me for the blessing ceremony. But, I thank you for your concern." He gave her a small smile. "And welcome back, my sister."
Sinja-Bau returned his smile. Obi-Wan leaned over and kissed her cheek. She blushed, then pulled away and sat back in her chair. With a final, parting glance at Onara, Obi-Wan left her room. Anakin turned as he walked through the door.
"Anakin, remain here. I'll return as soon as I can."
"Where are you going, Master?"
"To take care of something."
"Let me come with you. You shouldn't do this alone."
Obi-Wan looked up at Anakin, one of his brows raised sharply. "And how is it that you know what I'm going to do, Padawan?"
Anakin firmed his jaw, his blue eyes burning. "Because it's what I would do if I were you."
"Perhaps," Obi-Wan replied. "But you are not me. Therefore, do as I have requested and remain here. Watch over Onara. Protect her as you have so ably done before."
"Master, please---."
Obi-Wan shook his head. "I must do this alone, Padawan. Understand that and accept it."
Anakin lowered his head, nodding as he did so. "I understand, Master."
Obi-Wan took his arm, gripping it warmly. Then he turned, his robe whipping about him as he strode down the hall, his boots ringing on the floor.
Anakin watched him leave, a worried look in his eyes. Then, setting his face in a determined expression, he snatched his comlink from his belt and activated it.
"Aayla? It's Anakin. Could you come to the hospital right away?"
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Obi-Wan stared up at the towering skycraper. He could just make out the night sky, the stars a scattering of silver pin pricks on its ebony backdrop, the lines of incessantly moving air-traffic like trails of jeweled light. Located in one of Coruscant's wealthier districts, the apartment building was, like all those surrounding it, built of silver transpairsteel and smoked duracrete.
Making sure his lightsaber was hidden under his robe, Obi-Wan approached the entrance to the apartment building. He noted there were two scanner- eyes in the upper corners of the foyer, but they did not concern him. He could have used the Force to conceal himself, but he still could not bring himself to draw upon its power and, truthfully, he did not care if he was seen.
He entered the lift and, using the personal information on Lursan he had obtained from the Hall of Judgment's computer files, punched in the number for the floor of his penthouse. There was no guarantee Lursan was even home, but Obi-Wan had a feeling he was.
The lift stopped. Obi-Wan waited before the closed doors. Then, just as he was about to reach for his lightsaber to burn his way through them, they slid open. He peered into the darkened vestibule. Then, unclipping his lightsaber from his belt, went inside.
To be continued...
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Obi-Wan awoke and, for a moment, as he opened his eyes and the ceiling of his quarters in the Jedi Temple focused into view, it felt like the beginning of any other day.
And then he remembered.
Grief crushed his chest like a boulder. He drew in a ragged, sobbing breath. Sleep was nothing but a curse to him now, his throat closing with pain. Slumber brought the peace of oblivion, but upon awakening, it deserted you and you were once again conscious, and faced with the awareness that living was almost too painful to bear.
His son was dead, and the woman he loved now hated him. Never had Obi-Wan felt such despair, such desolation of the spirit. But, he rose from his bed and went about his daily routine of preparing for the day, his movements perfunctory and precise, fearful that if he deviated one iota from his daily habits he would collapse into madness.
Once he was dressed in his extra set of Jedi clothing, he hung Dalan's clothes in a closet. He would return them and get his own clothes back later. He was still a Jedi, even if he had closed himself off from the Force.
As he went into the front area, he stopped. Pain pierced him, sharp and deep. The light from the window was shining on the picture Ben had drawn for him, the one Obi-Wan had hung up on the wall. He walked over to it. He took it down, staring at the childlike drawing, his eyes reading over and over Ben's innocent words.
Tears filled Obi-Wan's eyes and he held the picture tight to his chest. He then put the picture back on the wall. No more tears, he told himself. For Onara' sake he needed to be strong. She had need of him. Even if she could no longer find it in her heart to look upon him.
He headed towards the door, then noted the message light on his comm unit blinking. He activated it. The message was from Yoda, asking Obi-Wan to meet with him that morning. Obi-Wan erased it. He would meet with Yoda later.
His first priority was Onara. Nothing mattered at the moment but her and, if truth be told, he wasn't ready to face the Jedi Master just yet. He wasn't sure he could trust what he would say or do. He sent Anakin a brief text message, informing him he was going to the hospital to visit Onara and would see him later.
Leaving his quarters and making his way towards the entrance of the Temple, Obi-Wan could not help but notice the other Jedi in the hall stealing glances at him. Most were curious looks, but a few were full of sadness and sympathy.
Obi-Wan did not stop to talk to anyone, however, but he did nod at those who passed by. Though he could not sense what any of them were feeling through the Force, as he was closed to it, he was sure most, if not all, had heard what had happened yesterday to Onara and Ben. And most, if not all, knew of his connection to them.
But, Obi-Wan had no wish to talk to anyone and was relieved when he finally exited and walked out into the bright morning air. The world beyond the Temple bustled about him, people hurrying past in pursuit of their own affairs, speeders and transports whizzing overhead. It all seemed so normal. And it was for those who were lucky enough not to be him. Walking some distance from the Temple, he took a lift to a air-bus terminal and boarded one that would take him to the hospital.
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As Obi-Wan walked down the hall towards Onara's room, he saw Dalan standing outside it, talking to Onara's physician, Dr. Manu. As he drew nearer, both turned at his approach.
"Master Kenobi," Dalan said, as he took Obi-Wan's arm.
The Dynast looked much better than he had yesterday. He had shaved, his eyes were no longer bloodshot, and he was as Obi-Wan had first seen him back on Ahjane when he and Onara were pledged to marry. A tall, handsome man with an imposing presence.
"Dynast Lenor. You are well?"
"I feel much better physically, but..." Dalan lowered his head. Obi-Wan took his arm and squeezed it. The Dynast looked back at him.
"I want to thank you, Master Kenobi. For all that you've done. I know you did your best to protect Onara and Ben. And I am grateful for that. And I'm also grateful for what you did for me. I don't know if I would have made it through yesterday without your strength."
"We both love her, Dynast Lenor. And we both loved Ben."
Dalan stared at Obi-Wan for a moment, then nodded. "Yes, that is true. If only I could have accepted that and not let it drive me mad with jealously."
"You mustn't blame yourself for what Lursan did. You had no part in that. He acted on his own."
Dalan frowned. "I'm not so sure about that, but I still don't understand why he would want to harm them"
"Was there any connection that you know of between him and Onara?"
"No, none at all. He hadn't even met Onara until we came to Coruscant. As for me, I had heard of him before we met. He's a well-known businessman on Ahjane. But, I'd had no dealings with him prior to that."
Obi-Wan thought for a moment. "Perhaps Onara's father, K'lia. Might Lursan have known him?"
"I'm not sure, but I don't think so."
"Lady Tsara then?"
Dalan frowned at the mention of Onara's grandmother. "Who knows what shady dealings that woman might have been involved in or who she might have crossed. No, I'm sorry, Master Kenobi. I don't know of any connection between Lursan and Onara. Only he can tell us. And I fully intend to find out why he did what he did when I go the Hall of Judgment to give my statement to the authorities. Once that's done, I shall then contact the Assembly and request the extradition of Lursan to Ahjane."
The Dynast moved closer to Obi-Wan, his dark blue eyes suddenly cold. "We may be a recent admission to the Republic, and we are well aware of its stance on the death penalty, but on Ahjane, once Lursan is found guilty, he will be put to death. Slowly and methodically. I promise you that."
Obi-Wan said nothing. Though a part of him was repulsed at the idea of any government having the power to take a life since, as a Jedi, he had been taught that all life was sacred, another part of him, the part that had been born in the __Hall of Worlds__ was pleased at the prospect of Lursan's death. Then he noted Dr. Manu staring at him.
"How is Onara?" Obi-Wan asked him.
Dr. Manu and Dalan exchanged a worried glance. Obi-Wan's heart lurched. "She's not----"
"No, Master Jedi," Dr. Manu quickly assured him. "She's still alive, but..."
He stopped and looked over at Dalan. The Dynast reached over and took Obi- Wan's arm. "Perhaps it's best if you see for yourself."
He opened the door and led Obi-Wan into Onara's room, Dr. Manu behind them. Onara was lying on the bed, but Obi-Wan noted there was now a machine hooked up to her arm. A pale gold liquid flowed from the machine through a tube and into her arm. He moved closer. Onara's eyes were open, but stared sightlessly up at the ceiling. Obi-Wan reached over and gently touched her face, but she did not stir. He whirled around.
"What's wrong with her."
"It's called yanol," Dalan told him. "The grief unyielding."
"Yanol?"
Dalan nodded as he moved to the other side of Onara's bed and stroked her dark hair.
"It sometimes happen among our people," he explained. "When a grief is too much to bear, some of us enter the yanol. It's a spiritual state within which the soul can hide until it is once again able to face the pain." Dalan slowly shook his head. "All mothers are close to their children, but the love Onara had for Ben was unlike any I'd ever witnessed. It was almost as if they were one soul."
He stopped and looked over at Obi-Wan. "A great deal of that love had much to do with you, Master Kenobi. I could not bring myself to accept it, but I knew the truth of it. She loves you very much."
Obi-Wan closed his eyes. No longer, he thought. She would never forgive him for what he'd done. He opened his eyes and noted Dalan staring at him.
"How long does this yanol last?" he asked.
Dalan drew his gaze away from Obi-Wan and looked down at Onara. "Usually only a few days, but it has been known to last for weeks. I heard of a man in my province who remained in the yanol for over a year after he had lost his entire family in a fire."
Obi-Wan's blood ran cold. He could not imagine Onara lying in such a state for even a day, much less a year. It was a living death. But it was he who had done this to her. He had not only told her their son was dead, but that he had allowed his spirit to fall into the Abyss because he had been more of a Jedi than a father. The pain of that betrayal, coupled with the loss of her only child was, apparently, more than she'd been able to endure.
"What will happen to her?" he asked
"Dr. Manu says she can be released later this week," Dalan replied. "I've made arrangements to take her and Ben..." he paused, his throat full of tears,"....back to Ahjane. I contacted the Assembly and they will send someone to take over as Senator until new elections are held."
"Is there no way we can bring her out of it?" Obi-Wan asked Dr. Manu.
Dr. Manu shook his head, his face tentacles flailing. "After Dynast Lenor told me what was afflicting her, I did some research on it. In all the cases reported on Ahjane, no medical treatment was successful in alleviating this condition."
"They have to come out of it themselves," Dalan added.
"And do they?" Obi-Wan asked, fearing the answer.
"Most do," Dalan replied. "But, some do not."
"What of her physical state?"
"She'll need constant care," Dr. Manu answered. "She'll have to be given nutrients intravenously, her arms and legs exercised, the standard care given to those suffering from comas. As far as I can determine, however, there should be no permanent physiological damage once she comes out of it, but in her current psychological state, she will be incapable of caring for herself."
"I will take care of her," Dalan murmured, his hand gently cupping her face. "I don't care what it costs or what I have to give up."
Obi-Wan walked around the bed and stood next to Dalan. He took the Dynast's hand and placed it over Onara's where it lay on the bed.
"I know you will, Dalan. And, please, don't despair. Onara will come back to you and, I think, you may find things will be different between the two of you."
Dalan shook his head as he gazed down at Onara. "I don't care if things aren't different between us, Obi-Wan. I don't care if she never loves me. I can live with that now. She's my wife, and I love her and, for as long as I live, I'll take care of her. I'll spend my life making amends for what part I played in this horror."
Obi-Wan squeezed Dalan's hand where it lay over Onara's. Then he looked over at her, drinking in her face, her presence, wishing he'd had a chance to say goodbye. He glanced at Dalan, desperately trying to hide his tears.
"May I?" he asked.
Dalan nodded and moved away from the bed. Obi-Wan leaned over and gently kissed Onara. Her lips were warm and soft, but she did not return his kiss, and, even if she were conscious, he suspected she would not want to. He pressed his lips against hers for a moment longer, then moved away and, turning, left the room.
Once outside, Obi-Wan stood for moment. It's for the best, he told himself, even as fiery tendrils of pain lanced through him. She had no further need of him. Dalan would take care of her. He was her husband, after all, and she his wife.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes. He had lost her; as he'd lost Ben, as he'd lost any chance for a different kind of life, as he'd lost everything, for he wasn't entirely sure he could return to the life he'd had before he met Onara.
He opened his eyes and looked back at the door to her room. __Farewell, my love__. He pulled the hood of his robe over his head and left the hospital.
-----------
After leaving the hospital, Obi-Wan spent the rest of the day alone. He walked among Coruscant's towering transparisteel and duracrete skyscrapers, tread down its broad, straight avenues and its tiny, twisting streets, strode past hovels and palaces, wandered through entertainment districts, housing boroughs and mercantile zones.
And, as he walked, he soon became one of the faceless billions who lived, worked and died on this teeming planet-wide metropolis, center of the Galactic Republic to which, as a member of the Jedi Order, he had sworn his allegiance and his life to.
At one point during his walk it rained, for occasionally storms would coalesce out of the water evaporating from the millions of exhaust vents on the rooftops. Raindrops pattered on his hood as he trudged through the sudden downpour, a staccato accompaniment to the sluggish beating of his heart.
During his walkabout he even traversed the lower levels, moving through the neon-lit darkness, only dimly aware of the sea of faces that streamed past him. Occasionally someone would approach him, a cut-thief, a dolly-girl, a deathstick dealer, but noting the lightsaber glinting on his belt and the warning blaze of those blue-gray eyes, they hurriedly scurried away.
Finally, having worn himself out both in body and spirit, Obi-Wan returned to the Jedi Temple. It was now early evening, the setting sun tinting the purpling sky with saffron and citrus and gold. He walked through the huge Temple doors, built, so it was rumored, to humble all Jedi upon entering and to remind them that no matter how gifted or powerful they were with the Force, before its absolute grandeur and glory they were as motes of dust in the air. Nothing and everything.
Hood over his head, raindrops shimmering on the soft, brown wool and his boots, wet from the rain, squeaking against the polished floor, Obi-Wan made his way through the spacious main atrium. He was heading to his quarters, wanting to mediate before going to see Yoda, but he stopped when he heard his name being called. He turned and was surprised to see Aayla Secura running towards him.
Aalya was a Jedi, one of the rare blue-skinned Rutian Twi'leks. Beautiful, sensual and clad in what Obi-Wan still considered an immodest outfit for a Jedi uniform, since it left both her slender shoulders and taut midriff bare, she had once been padawan to Quinlan Vos. While on a mission some years ago, both had been stripped of their memories, but had recovered; Aayla having retrieved her memories from where they had been stored in her lekku, Quinlan through retraining. Aayla had recently become a Jedi Knight, and she and Anakin had also become something of friends.
"Master Kenobi," she cried, her lovely blue eyes wide. "We've been looking for you all day."
"I've been out walking."
"Then you haven't heard?"
"Heard what?"
"Dynast Lenor. He's dead."
"What?" Obi-Wan cried. He grabbed Ayala by the arms. "Onara? Is she all right?"
"Yes, she's at the hospital. It was an air traffic accident. Happened just after the Dynast left her. Both he and the air-taxi driver were killed. There are still some questions, but it looks as if a droid-operated air-van veered out of its designated traffic path and crashed into the taxi. When we heard, we tried to contact you."
Obi-Wan released her arms. "I turned off my comlink."
"We thought as much, Anakin and I. He wanted to go and look for you, but when we got the other news, he went to the hospital instead."
"Other news?"
Aalya nodded, her expression grim, her lekkus twitching along her slim back.
"A few hours after Dynast Lenor's death, Lursan was released from the Hall of Judgment, the charges against him dismissed. Anakin, fearful he might try to finish what he'd started, went to the hospital to guard Senator Lenor. Sinja-Bau is with him. I remained here in case you came back."
Obi-Wan turned and was about to run through the Temple doors, but he stopped when he heard Aayla's voice. He looked back at her.
"May the Force be with you, Master Kenobi," she said softly.
Obi-Wan stared at her, then nodded. He still could not bring himself to feel the Force, but he was thankful for her words. He turned and ran out of the Temple.
----------
"Master," Anakin cried as Obi-Wan approached him.
His Padawan was standing outside Onara's room, his hand on his lightsaber, his black cloak draped around him. Even from down the hall, Obi-Wan had noted Anakin's stance, the alert focus and calm readiness of a Jedi prepared either for attack or defense. Pride surged through him. Perhaps, he thought, he had not totally failed. He knew he had trained Anakin well, just as had promised his master he would.
"You've heard," Anakin said as Obi-Wan stopped in front of him.
"Yes, both about Dalan and Lursan's release. Thank you for coming here to watch over Onara."
"You don't have to thank me, Master. There was no way I was going to leave her unguarded with that monster running around loose. I contacted the Senate to see if they would send some of their Guards over to help protect her, but.." and Anakin's face twisted with disgust,"...I was told by some mealy-mouthed civil servant that since Onara was no longer a Senator, Dynast Lenor having put in a request to Ahjane for a replacement for her, there was nothing they could do."
"It doesn't matter. We'll protect her. Where is Sinja-Bau?"
Anakin gestured with his head at the door. Then he looked at Obi-Wan, his face draped in sorrow. "I'm sorry about what's happened to her, Master. And to Dalan. These are black days."
"Yes, they are. But we must remain strong, in spite of them."
He reached over and gave Anakin's arm a hard, reassuring squeeze, then went through the door and into Onara's room. Sinja-Bau rose from her chair as he entered. Obi-Wan was surprised to see she now wore the outfit of a Jedi Master Healer, a lightsaber hanging from a belt at her waist.
But, before he could say a word, she walked over and put her arms around him. Obi-Wan closed his eyes as he returned her hug, drawing deeply from her strength and her warmth.
"Will the darkness ever end?" she whispered.
"I don't know," Obi-Wan answered, his heart filled with more sorrow than he could bear. "But we must hold on. We must remain strong for those who have need of us."
Sinja-Bau pulled away and looked up at him, her blue-green eyes misty.
"Yes, we must. But, Obi-Wan, poor Dalan. If only we could have been there for him and somehow prevented this. He was here when I came to see Onara. I had hurt him the other day, but he forgave me, and I saw he was once again the Dalan I remembered before Lursan came into our lives." She frowned. "It wasn't an accident, Obi-Wan. His death. It's too much of a coincidence."
Obi-Wan agreed. "But, it couldn't have been Lursan. He was still in custody."
"No, not Lursan, but someone connected to him."
"Senator Gillom," Obi-Wan said, his voice grim. Sinja-Bau nodded.
He moved away from her and over to Onara's bed. She was as he had left her that morning, but her eyes were now closed. He touched her cheek.
"I can't bear to see her like this," he said in a low, pained voice. "But, now, with Dalan's death, perhaps it's best she remain in her world of twilight."
Sinja-Bau moved next to him and put her hand on his arm as she gazed down at Onara.
"You don't mean that, Obi-Wan. Onara is strong. When she comes back, she'll have a great of deal of healing to do, but she'll survive." Sinja-Bau looked over at him. "I tried to use my Force powers to help her, but there was nothing I could do. She will have to come out of this on her own. And she will, when she is ready. When she finally believes herself strong enough to face Ben's death."
Obi-Wan nodded. And my betrayal, he added silently. He reached over and took Onara's hand. So many losses she'd had to endure in such a short time. Her father, her son, now her husband, all gone. Then he thought of Lursan, and Obi-Wan knew in his heart that as long as he was free and alive, Onara would never be safe. He gently placed her hand on the bed and turned to Sinja-Bau.
"Will you stay with her?"
"Of course I will. But, where are you going?"
"I have something I must do, but I'll return as soon as I can."
He turned to leave, but Sinja-Bau grabbed his arm.
"I will not gainsay what you are about to do, Obi-Wan. Although I have reaffirmed my vows to the Jedi Order, I too want Lursan to pay for what he has done. Ben was my light, my joy, and there is such a wound in my heart at his passing that I know it will never heal. But, before you act, my brother, search your soul and make certain the path you are about to take is the right one."
Obi-Wan put his hand over Sinja-Bau's where it lay on his arm.
"I suspect that the path I now take is one that was laid out for me the first time I laid eyes on Onara, clinging to her father's arm when he brought her to me for the blessing ceremony. But, I thank you for your concern." He gave her a small smile. "And welcome back, my sister."
Sinja-Bau returned his smile. Obi-Wan leaned over and kissed her cheek. She blushed, then pulled away and sat back in her chair. With a final, parting glance at Onara, Obi-Wan left her room. Anakin turned as he walked through the door.
"Anakin, remain here. I'll return as soon as I can."
"Where are you going, Master?"
"To take care of something."
"Let me come with you. You shouldn't do this alone."
Obi-Wan looked up at Anakin, one of his brows raised sharply. "And how is it that you know what I'm going to do, Padawan?"
Anakin firmed his jaw, his blue eyes burning. "Because it's what I would do if I were you."
"Perhaps," Obi-Wan replied. "But you are not me. Therefore, do as I have requested and remain here. Watch over Onara. Protect her as you have so ably done before."
"Master, please---."
Obi-Wan shook his head. "I must do this alone, Padawan. Understand that and accept it."
Anakin lowered his head, nodding as he did so. "I understand, Master."
Obi-Wan took his arm, gripping it warmly. Then he turned, his robe whipping about him as he strode down the hall, his boots ringing on the floor.
Anakin watched him leave, a worried look in his eyes. Then, setting his face in a determined expression, he snatched his comlink from his belt and activated it.
"Aayla? It's Anakin. Could you come to the hospital right away?"
-------------
Obi-Wan stared up at the towering skycraper. He could just make out the night sky, the stars a scattering of silver pin pricks on its ebony backdrop, the lines of incessantly moving air-traffic like trails of jeweled light. Located in one of Coruscant's wealthier districts, the apartment building was, like all those surrounding it, built of silver transpairsteel and smoked duracrete.
Making sure his lightsaber was hidden under his robe, Obi-Wan approached the entrance to the apartment building. He noted there were two scanner- eyes in the upper corners of the foyer, but they did not concern him. He could have used the Force to conceal himself, but he still could not bring himself to draw upon its power and, truthfully, he did not care if he was seen.
He entered the lift and, using the personal information on Lursan he had obtained from the Hall of Judgment's computer files, punched in the number for the floor of his penthouse. There was no guarantee Lursan was even home, but Obi-Wan had a feeling he was.
The lift stopped. Obi-Wan waited before the closed doors. Then, just as he was about to reach for his lightsaber to burn his way through them, they slid open. He peered into the darkened vestibule. Then, unclipping his lightsaber from his belt, went inside.
To be continued...