Tak looked around the vast equipment, relishing in the sight of technology familiar to her. She took a step forward, eyes darting around. Her hologram of a disguise flickered and faded, leaving her natural Irken form. It's only a hologram, but Tallest, it looks bad, she thought. It irked (AHA! LAUGH AT MY IRONY!) her to have to cover up her normal appearance with something so hideous, particularly because she was, as far as Irkens are concerned, rather attractive. But no matter. Business was business, and if she wanted this planet she was going to have to suffer a little bit.
She took another step and suddenly found herself being restrained by two large metallic appendages that sprouted from the walls. An annoying computer voice chanted "intruder alert" over and over. Tak grit her teeth in annoyance.
"Computer! Release me!" She demanded sharply. Frankly, she didn't like where this was going. Why had she not planned for this? She knew how advanced the security systems would be. Note to self: never underestimate Irken technology.
"But… you're not Zim," the computer replied. It sounded… submissive. Which struck Tak as odd.
"Eh…I'm Irken, so does it really
matter?" Like that'll work.
Oddly enough, it did. With a minor 'well… I guess not', the metal arms retracted
and Tak was free. She broke into a grin.
"Computer! You recall designing a
weight-loss product earlier, correct?"
The computer made some sort of noise Tak interpreted as a sniffle.
"The doctor said my weight was fine as long as I ate a balanced
diet."
Tak stared. Had Zim's stupidity rubbed off on his
machinery, too?
"I don't have time for this," she snapped. The computer 'sniffled' again.
"You don't have to be mean about it."
Tak slapped her green forehead and rubbed what would be the bridge of her nose, had she had a nose.
"I refuse to argue with artificial
intelligence. Do you recall it or not?"
There was a pause.
"Uhhhh… yeah… I think. Wait… no…
yeah. Yeah, I do!"
Where had the engineers gone *wrong*?
"Good. I want you to devise a way to reverse it."
The computer paused. Tak narrowed her eyes.
"Processing…"
Tak emitted a sigh of relief. How is it Zim has managed to stupidify
his computer? Wait, is stupidify a word? Oh, Tallest,
now I'M being stupidified... ARGGGGH.
Tak clutched the side of her head and shook it to clear the annoying
thoughts from her mind. There was a silence, before the computer stated:
"My mom says I'm cool."
Tak raised a would-be eyebrow. For one thing, Irkens
didn't have mothers, not in the sense
humans had mothers anyway, let alone their machinery. She sighed and decided
against replying. It could take her a minute to completely unstupidify…
No! NOT AGAIN! Tak's antennae
twitched in annoyance and she clutched the side of her head again. There was an
easy-bake-oven-worthy ding! and a vial popped up.
"Antidote complete," the computer told her. Tak grinned devilishly to herself.
"Mass produce the antidote," she ordered sharply, "and… and
put it in a spray-bottle dispenser."
If the computer found the request odd, it said nothing other than "Complying…"
Besides, working with Zim, it had definitely seen odder.
AN: Okay, the end of this was a bit
rushed, I gotta go to bed in uh six minutes and I wanted to get it out for
the.. one person who actually reads this. -.O Ohwell, better than no one! Questions?
Commets?
Suggestions? ANYTHING? R/R!
PLEASE? I feed off reviews. Yes.
