People wonder why I never say anything, why I barely even answer direct
questions. They can go on wondering. I will never tell them, and they don't
care enough to try and pry it out of me. It wouldn't have been very
effective, anyway. Not that they would be foolish enough to try. People
tend not to pick on a man twice their size.
I was never a very talkative person, but after my birthday, I can't remember which one, I stopped talking altogether, unless it was absolutely necessary. Why? Simple, really. I'm afraid. What is there to be afraid of? A lot of things. I'm afraid that I will say too much, and put someone in danger, someone I care about, even though those people are scarce, I can tell you. It's ridiculous, right? Wrong. I've seen it happen. And when It happened, it struck close to home. Too close for comfort.
It's kind of funny, really. You never think that anything even remotely dangerous can or will happen to you. And when something actually happens, it shocks you more than it would have, had you seen it coming. One little word too much can put you in danger, and one word never spoken can be equally dangerous. One single word can rend families apart, take innocent lives, and ruin those still alive. One little word can start whole wars, wars between nations that have always been friendly to each other. An old saying goes; ´Sticks and stones can break my bones, but word will never hurt me.´. It is wrong. Word do hurt, worse than any other weapon you'd care to name. Words can kill.
It happened to me.
I said something I shouldn't have, believing I was too strong for anyone to hurt me, or anyone near me. I was wrong, of course, but how could I have known? I should have, but I didn't. I was stupid, it was that simple. I said too much, and because of me, a whole family died. My family. Our house was burned to the ground, with all my brothers and sisters and my parents inside. I don't remember much of what happened afterwards, but I remember someone telling me that everything would be alright. I remember that man; it would be strange if I didn't. It was Tseng, and as far as I know, that's the only time he ever lied to me. Everything wasn't going to be alright. But at that time, I trusted him. I became one of the Turks, and I have never looked back since.
Now, after ten years with the Turks, the image of the burning house is clearer than ever. I will never forget what happened, or who was to blame. I have seen more horrible thing in these ten years than most people sees in their whole life, I have done things that are better off forgotten, but I won't forget. Not ever. My hands are stained with the blood of innocents, and any hope I ever held of it all being just one bad dream is gone. I have more sins on my conscience than the Devil himself. I have become a servant that does my employers' dirty deeds; I follow orders blindly, without questioning, because I don't know what else to do. I am a pawn, in someone else's game, played by rules I have never seen. And all because of one little word....
I was never a very talkative person, but after my birthday, I can't remember which one, I stopped talking altogether, unless it was absolutely necessary. Why? Simple, really. I'm afraid. What is there to be afraid of? A lot of things. I'm afraid that I will say too much, and put someone in danger, someone I care about, even though those people are scarce, I can tell you. It's ridiculous, right? Wrong. I've seen it happen. And when It happened, it struck close to home. Too close for comfort.
It's kind of funny, really. You never think that anything even remotely dangerous can or will happen to you. And when something actually happens, it shocks you more than it would have, had you seen it coming. One little word too much can put you in danger, and one word never spoken can be equally dangerous. One single word can rend families apart, take innocent lives, and ruin those still alive. One little word can start whole wars, wars between nations that have always been friendly to each other. An old saying goes; ´Sticks and stones can break my bones, but word will never hurt me.´. It is wrong. Word do hurt, worse than any other weapon you'd care to name. Words can kill.
It happened to me.
I said something I shouldn't have, believing I was too strong for anyone to hurt me, or anyone near me. I was wrong, of course, but how could I have known? I should have, but I didn't. I was stupid, it was that simple. I said too much, and because of me, a whole family died. My family. Our house was burned to the ground, with all my brothers and sisters and my parents inside. I don't remember much of what happened afterwards, but I remember someone telling me that everything would be alright. I remember that man; it would be strange if I didn't. It was Tseng, and as far as I know, that's the only time he ever lied to me. Everything wasn't going to be alright. But at that time, I trusted him. I became one of the Turks, and I have never looked back since.
Now, after ten years with the Turks, the image of the burning house is clearer than ever. I will never forget what happened, or who was to blame. I have seen more horrible thing in these ten years than most people sees in their whole life, I have done things that are better off forgotten, but I won't forget. Not ever. My hands are stained with the blood of innocents, and any hope I ever held of it all being just one bad dream is gone. I have more sins on my conscience than the Devil himself. I have become a servant that does my employers' dirty deeds; I follow orders blindly, without questioning, because I don't know what else to do. I am a pawn, in someone else's game, played by rules I have never seen. And all because of one little word....