Title: Nothing Left of Me...
Author: the weeping willow
Chapter: Letter 2- "God!"
Rating: PG-13 for implied nudity, sex, female homosexuality (not really noteworthy since this is Willow and Tara, but I'm putting it anyways), violence, etc.
Spoilers: Up until the end of season 6 (and possibly a bit from the beginning of season 7 later...)
Setting: Summer between seasons 6 and 7
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy or any related items. Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy do.
Description: Willow writes letters to her (deceased) girlfriend Tara, to try and overcome her grief; at Gile's suggestion.
Distribution: Not without asking. I'd prefer you link back to this please, or get my permission first.
Contact: queenofthebandgeeks@hotmail.com
Author's Notes: I'm pleased to get this next one up so quickly! :) Even though I haven't gotten any reviews *grump* I still want to finish this. I've gotten the next 2 letters written also- it's just school keeping me from typing them up...
Nothing Left of Me...
letter two:
June 19, 2002
Tara,
D'you remember the time we held that Ostara ritual? It was dark, midnight, but I could see you perfectly. We danced, and celebrated, and made love under the stars. And then we lay silently together holding hands, nude, watching the sun rise.
It was so natural. If only it could've lasted forever.
We were so in love, but Warren took it all away.
I wanted to fix it, baby. But- it wouldn't let me. Oh sweetie, believe me, I tried. And I went crazy when I couldn't bring you back. But I killed Warren for you. He was in so much pain, so much delicious pain. I soaked it in, embraced it; was drunk in my power, my grief, and his misery. He was sorry, so sorry for what he did once I was done. Has he told you yet? Goddess, I hope so. He needed it, Tara.
I think now you wouldn't 've wanted me to kill for you. But I'm not sorry. Warren only got what he deserved! You know that, right? He killed you. Nothing he could ever do would have made up for what he did to you.
Sometimes I'm afraid that now that I have blood on my hands, you won't love me anymore. I close my eyes and I'm swimming in it, drowning in his blood. And you just look at me, shaking your head, and instead of holding out your hand you turn away.
I can't stand this! They don't know what it's like to have lost your love, what it's like to have killed a human for her. None of them could ever possibly hope to understand. Please baby, won't you? Do you understand? You know - knew - me better than anyone. I just need for you to know why I did what I did.
I did what I had to do. And nothing's worse than having you be gone, Tara. I get so scared sometimes, that I'll never see you again. Won't you come back? Oh Goddess, I need you back. I love you Tara. My heart screams with it.
Blessed be.
Willow