Title: Nothing Left of Me...
Author: the weeping willow
Chapter: 3- "How Can This Be?"
Rating: PG-13 for implied nudity, sex, female homosexuality (not really noteworthy since this is Willow and Tara, but I'm putting it anyways), violence, etc.
Spoilers: Up until the end of season 6 (and possibly a bit from the beginning of season 7 later...)
Setting: Summer between seasons 6 and 7
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy or any related items. Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy do.
Description: Willow writes letters to her (deceased) girlfriend Tara, to try and overcome her grief; at Gile's suggestion.
Distribution: Not without asking. I'd prefer you link back to this please, or get my permission first.
Contact: queenofthebandgeeks@hotmail.com
Author's Notes: Who invented school, anyways? I don't like it.

Nothing Left of Me...

letter three:
June 21, 2002


Tara,

It's the Summer Solstice tonight, Litha. I remember last year's ritual. We met that coven up by San Francisco, around that huge bonfire. You and I leaped over hand in hand. I felt almost as if we were at our handfasting.

I don't know if you knew, but I was planning to ask if you wanted to have one. A handfasting, I mean. And we could've had this beautiful ceremony in the park on Imbolc. I figured by then we'd have made up for good. I was getting better, Tara. But now I don't know. I still can't believe that you're gone. I can hear your voice in my head sometimes. Like when Sweet came to town, and you sang me that song. There was a lot of bad stuff going on, but your song was beautiful. Do you remember it?

I lived my life in shadow
Never the sun on my face
It didn't seem so sad though
I figured that was my place
Now I'm bathed in light
Something just isn't right

I'm under your spell
How else could it be
Anyone would notice me
It's magick, I can tell
I am suddenly free
Brought me out so easily

I saw a world enchanted
Spirits and charms in the air
I always took for granted
I was the only one there
But your powers shone
Brighter than any I know

I'm under your spell
Nothing I could do
You just took my soul with you
You worked your charms so well
Finally I knew
Everything I dreamed was true
You made me believe...

The moon to the tide
I can feel you inside...

I'm under your spell
Surging like the sea
Pulling me so helplessly
I break with every swell
Lost in ecstasy
Spread beneath my Willow tree
You make me complete

You make me complete
You make me complete
You make me complete...

I'm crying again. You have the loveliest voice. Had. I hate past tense. Damn it, I don't care! Have, have, have! You'll keep that voice no matter what, baby. It sounds just like the angel song we heard that one time. And do you see? I still remember like it was yesterday. I hope you remember, too. I hope you never forget.

But sometimes it hurts so much, knowing this won't happen again. Knowing I'll never see you again. I don't think you can know what I mean. You haven't had your lover ripped from your arms. It kills inside. You're the dead one, but it might as well be me. I'm a husk of what I was. I don't think I know how to laugh. All I can do is huddle against this tree, watching the sun set on a day that never was.

Willow