Notes: Whew, it has been a looooong time! *bows* Enjoy!

Pairings: Ran x Ken

Warnings: AU, Ran POV, language, angstish, fluff

Disclaimer: Not mine. Why not? Too crazy. Like me! ^____^

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Lightless Fire

Lost

2

It was with a heavy heart that I turned from my love. My love that was greater than anything any mortal could create or destroy. Dusk was drawing nearer and I feared to be drawn away from my vision of the many waters by the ignorance of a human. Their voices, so painful when brought against the soothing rumbling of the roiling waves.

"Ran! Come on! Dinner's ready!"

"I'm coming, damn it!" Omi looked hurt at my words but I didn't care. Didn't they understand being alone was something I treasured? Maybe I wanted to be alone for a while. They never seemed to consider that possibility.

"Ran, don't be an ass!" That was Youji. Doubtless he had heard me yell at poor little Omi. I didn't care. I'd be an ass all I pleased and I didn't care what he thought.

A face loomed close in my mind's eye. Chocolate eyes were large under a patch of unruly hair of the same rich hue. His smooth skin appeared to be silk. I wanted to touch it. Caress it like I stroked the ocean. You care what he thinks....

"I don't give a damn what he thinks." I informed myself, banishing his image from my mind. "There's nothing about him that I want. There's nothing that he has that I need. Isn't that what love is about? Needing something? Well I can take care of my fucking self thank you very much."

"Ran?" Omi had heard my talking to myself as I mounted the porch steps and placed my board where it had rested earlier.

"What?" My voice was harsh and he looked taken aback once again but I didn't care. He should learn to be tougher if he's going to bother me.

"I- nothing."

"Fine." I walked past him into the house where Youji and Ken were in the kitchen assembling the eating ware and cooking. Ken was busy at the stove and didn't look at me as I entered. I didn't want him to. I didn't want to see that look in his eyes. That look that I didn't understand.

Youji, however, had no inhibitions about staring at me with a sly grin. "Aren't we grouchy today? What's the matter with you Ran?"

I glared at him and sat down. "Shut the hell up, Kudou."

"Yessir." he replied, moving away to retrieve the cups. Omi sat down across the oval table from me, staring hard at his plate. I was beginning to feel guilty. Damn it Omi, why do you have to be such a child. A glare sprang to my face, as he looked up at me again, a tiny flicker of hope in his eyes. But it was silenced by my angry expression. Damn it!

"So, Ken-Ken, what are you making tonight?" Omi inquired, eager to look somewhere else and change the silent subject.

"Stuffed shells." He answered, setting a large serving plate laden with the stuffed pasta in the center of the table before sitting down next to me and across from Youji.

"They look delicious!" the youngest observed, helping himself to the food.

"Thank you Omi."

~

I was walking along the beach now, the moon a bare sliver lighting the shore dimly. I couldn't see anyone in the night and I didn't wish to. The lapping water was like music...wind chimes for the moon.

"Ran!" I kept walking. I hoped maybe if I ignored them, they would go away. I didn't want to think of who it may be that was running up behind me. "Ran wait!" I halted, but I said nothing. "Didn't you hear me?" Ken asked, coming to stand beside me.

"I heard you."

"Then why didn't you answer?" he asked, turning to regard me with raised brows.

I shrugged. "I don't know." I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to look at him. I was scared of what I may see. I was scared of what I may do. I kept walking, slowly, enjoying the feel of fine sand under my feet.

He walked next to me, gazing intently at the ocean. "They're, Omi and Youji, are worried about you." He didn't say that he was worried about me. Why should he be?

"So? What do they know?" I asked bitterly, kicking at the sand.

"You haven't been yourself. What's the matter?" Ken put his hand on my shoulder and turned me around to face him. Our gazes locked and I found I couldn't look away.

"I've had something on my mind..."

"Such as?" His brows raised again, waiting.

"You..." The word fell upon my lips before I had power to stop it. Ken looked surprise, and he said nothing as he stared at me. I couldn't look at him. I knew he must be disgusted. I turned and kept walking and he didn't follow me.

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