I read a fic a while ago using all the lyrics from a CD- so I decided that for my first story on fanfiction.net, I'd try somethin' similar. ^_^. I'm a copy-cat I know- but I thought it was a good idea!

Anyway- I've had Natilie Imbruglia's CD "Left of the Middle" for a long time now, and well- it's not an absolute favorite, but it certainly has good songs. Granted, Natilie was never given the credit she deserved, but that's another topic. I decided that this would probably be a good way to see the response to any fan fics I write considering I never get any response from people who visit my website (oh yey! Over a thousand! ^_^. arigatou gozaimasu!)- so I'm just using this as a forum for my work- BEFORE I post it on my site.

Ryou and Bakura have actually always sorta fascinated me- whether or not that's because they both fit the qualities of a good drama- or because I just really have a thing for two-faced frail- mentally unstable anime characters. ^_^. Either way- I just thought that maybe I should write a fic for them.

AND I DEDICATE THIS STORY TO ME! (yes- I know I'm so vain in that comment, but still, I never really do anything just for ME- so this seemed good enough. I wrote it after all!)

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!- I know I love my Ryou-chan and Bakura- san to death (well.), but I don't own the series and I'm not at all claiming I did. I also don't own the lyric's to Natilie Imbruglia's song "Torn"- they were just sorta. there. ^_^.

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*.*: song lyrics '.': thoughts


Left of the Middle: Torn

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*I thought I saw a man brought to life-
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified;
He showed me what it was to cry*

His deep colored eyes were hazing- he could feel the pain sliding up his back and he could do nothing to stop it. It was almost hypnotic how the intoxication paralyzed his body for the second it reached the back of the teenager's neck. Ryou quivered, his body falling limp onto the carpeted floor.

"Get up, weakling!" A booming voice was hurting his ears, but Ryou was used to it. He was in a trance, the tones of Bakura's voice droning out one after another. "DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME?" He was louder; the limp man could feel the cold eyes of his yami piercing into him from above.

'What have I done wrong this time?' Ryou pushed himself onto all fours, a foot jabbing under his ribs. He was taking it calmly- another beating that he had expected. 'Oh yeah. I left my books on the coffee table.' He bit his tongue as Bakura pulled the young man up by his silver locks- he was all ready crying.

"Oh keep crying, you girl!" The angry man spat at Ryou's face, flinging him to the ground once again with a quick pull of his hair. Bakura then just simply turned and walked from the living room, a crying teenager left alone on the ground, hugging himself.

'Why.' He looked up at where Bakura had stood, reaching out to touch something that wasn't there. 'Why do you have to be so mad at me.' Ryou closed his chocolate-colored eyes, a rush of all past memories with Bakura flashing in his mind. The yami had ALWAYS been that way towards him, and even a slight show of kindness was always stripped away with another beating. But Ryou kept clinging. Sliding his body blindly against the nearest wall, the young man sealed his soul room, leaving himself dreaming of everything that he'd ever craved: Bakura.

Since the first day- he'd always wanted a connection. Even through the pain- and the frustration- and the sadness- Ryou constantly wished for a crack in the wall that was his yami- just so he could possibly shine his own light in. Alone in his soul room he could imagine arms fingers entwining with his- a body pressed up to his- a tender kiss upon his lips. But that's what it was: a dream. Ryou could only ever have that dream in his soul room, and every day he grew more and more lonely.

The others had started to see bruises; Ryou had to be alone. If he didn't pull away from them, who knows what they would want to do to Bakura? HE would skin THEM alive- and the young man wanted to prevent any confrontation the best he could.

Picking up his body from the floor, he slowly made his way along the corridors of his home- almost vacant except Bakura and himself. There weren't even echoes of a happy childhood clinging to the walls and furniture. Images of a depressed and lonely child were the only comforts the house could provide. Ryou had been alone all his life- mother dead, father gone- the only real person in his life was Bakura. And even he hated Ryou.

Their meeting proved that there was never to be anything between them. A painful meeting. yet Ryou always kept his chin up- things would work out, right? Bakura would soften, right? Ryou kept these hopes only to himself- a deep feeling in his heart were the only remnants he even allowed himself to believe.

But every day, punches flew, tears fell, the heart that was Ryou's was slowly being bruised. Maybe it would never work? What if it was only his illusion? A dream that can never be reached? Self doubt plagued him constantly- and the doubt was only manifested in his own self torture and agony.

*Well you couldn't be that man I adored,
You don't seem to know- or seem to care
What your heart is for.
I don't know him anymore*

He sat starring at the wall, hands sitting limply on his bed. Tears were silently streaming down his cheeks, Ryou didn't even make a motion to try and wipe them away.

'He hates me. he hates me. he hates me.' The words kept somehow repeating in his mind- was Bakura saying them to him on purpose? No- his soul room was always sealed. Never had he allowed a connection between the two.

A silver light poured in from the open window- a full moon lighting the sky in pure light. The sound of a distant bird finally broke his stream of depression; Ryou stood, walking to the window and looking out.

'Why can't it be like the night sky.?' The teenager's eyes closed, the chilling night time air filling his lungs with every breath; he felt somehow calm in it's presence. 'Yami and hikari- like the sky.'

But Ryou could feel his hopes were futile. 'Yami and hikari?' He frowned at his own thoughts, about to laugh at himself. 'This is so stupid.' He turned from the open window, leaning against the wall, finally letting a smile play onto his lips. 'Why would Bakura ever let anything like that happen? The two of us finally having peace? Finally.together.'

The young man shook his head, trying to pull his attention away from the other male. Ryou went to his desk, looking over his school books- a library book sitting on the desk chair. History of Ancient Egypt. His eyebrows contorted as he took the thick book, sliding it under his bed. He had to forget- at least until he was in the presence of his yami once again.


*There's nothin' where he used to lie-
My conversation has run dry
That's what's goin' on.
Nothin's fine- I'm torn*

Ryou's eraser top touched his lips lightly- eyes gazing over the book in front of him. 'The Russo-Japanese war was fought.' An opening door made him look up. 'Hmph?' He stood from his desk, stretching his slender body; he'd been studying for hours.

Moving to the closed door of his room, he opened it, peering out into the hall, listening. There was no sound. 'He went out again.' The thought seemed inevitable. What else did Bakura do with his time? He stayed at home all day watching television, waiting for Ryou to get home and cook for him. The young man sighed, walking down the hall, down the stairs and into the kitchen. He checked the refrigerator, pulling out a vanilla coke, then making his way back to his room. Who knows how long Bakura would stay out. Sometimes hours- sometimes days. Ryou seemed used to that as well. If he didn't receive a daily beating, it would be made up for once his yami returned.

For what seemed like another hour, Ryou sat at his desk, sipping at his coke and reading for his history class- and when Bakura came home, all concentration was broken.

"Oh, Bakura- such a naughty boy!" The sound of a woman's giggly voice drifted up the stairs and through the door to Ryou's room.

"Ha." The yami laughed lightly- his voice sounded amused.

"Come here, baby." Ryou could instantly recognize the voice: Tea. Ryou leaned forward, fingers gripping at his hair, frustration coursing through him.

'Why did he have to bring HER here?!' Ryou was shaking in sudden fury. He'd known for some time that the two had been sleeping with each other- but it had always been when Ryou was away or someplace else. The teenager was shaking in anger- then suddenly- he was shaking in pain.

Beads of tears were streaming down his face- his chest hurt deeply. Her moaning was creeping up the stairs- stinging his ears.

"Oh. Bakura. baby.. Harder.harder. oh.uh. yes! YES!" Tea's voice grew louder and louder, her disconnected words were trying to unlock Ryou's door of hidden jealousy.

'Please. stop. stop.' Then out of nowhere- her moaning stopped.

"What's the matter, baby?" Tea asked, she was breathing heavily.

"I can't right now." Bakura sounded suddenly timid.

"But you're ready right now!" The woman seemed like she was almost pleading.

"Not now!" His voice was anger filled. Ryou's eyes widened. Now he was only listening to the woman moving downstairs, pulling clothes back on, and then the slam of a door as she left. The young man knew she would be back.


*I'm all out of faith-
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor.
Illusion never changed into something real.
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn.
You're a little late- I'm all ready torn*

He slid into the steaming water, pale body starting to blush from the heat; Ryou had decided to take a bath after hearing it all. He didn't want to be a part of any of it- yet he only really wished that he could have been the one Bakura was making love with- instead of Tea.

The young man closed his dark eyes, steam engulfing him. Silver locks of hair floated in the water around his body as he slid in deeper, water up to his shoulders. Was it all for the best? Maybe hearing them had been another one of Bakura's punishments. Either way, it was making Ryou hate himself even more. He'd probably done something to get Bakura mad again. as always.

Opening one eye, the teenager reached out onto the floor outside the tub, taking a blade he used only for himself and inspected it. Feeling it was up to standard, he pulled his leg from the water and looked down to where his ankle was. No one ever checked there. Ever. There were lines across his ankles- scars from recent, scars that had healed over time.

'Ah.' A lazy line of blood started to appear, it was soon bleeding freely from the pressure he'd applied. Ryou smiled to himself, looking up to the ceiling. He dropped the blade next to the tub, other hand reaching under the water, fingers wrapping around his length. Biting his bottom lip, he moaned inwardly, hand traveling under the water faster and faster.

'This is the way I am, Bakura.' He closed his eyes once again. 'You give me pain like that. and I can only do this. it does this to me.' His wet locks slid from the water as he tilted his head back, breathing harder. 'Hmph. Bakura.' Ryou moaned lightly as he climaxed, licking his lips.

The teenager felt defiant- but at the same time guilt started to surface. He looked into the water- blood mingled with seed- and tears suddenly followed. Ryou put his head in his hands, crying.

'God. why.' He was shaking even in the heat of the water. 'Why do I have to be this way.?' It seemed that even with coping with knowing that the man he loved hated him, Ryou still had the uncertainty and pain of liking someone from the same sex. The pain only continued to stack against him.


*So I guess the fortune teller's right.
I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light.
But you crawled beneath my veins-
And now- I don't care, I have no luck.*

"Let's go to the game shop, Ryou-chan. My grandpa wants to see if you'll still duel him in a re-match like you promised." Yuugi was smiling as the entire group was walking back from school and through the streets of Domino.

"Ah. a re-match?" Ryou smiled lightly, nodding. "Well- I would love to finally beat your grandpa and." His face turned from joy and happiness, to sudden doubt and confusion. The entire group noticed. "But I can't today, Yuugi. I'm sorry."

"Wha-?" Joey asked, his mouth gaping. "But you never turn down a duel!" Ryou sighed.

"I have to go home and make sure to cook something for Bakura." He looked down at the sidewalk- he could feel the surprised pairs of eyes on him.

"Ya' cook for him?" Joey was looking at him in astonishment.

"Well- of course. He's my yami after all. I have to make sure he's happy." Ryou spoke in a matter-of-fact voice, but deep down he wondered if that was the real reason he did anything for Bakura.

"That's not a reason, Ryou." Yami Yuugi appeared out of nowhere standing next to Yuugi. The Millennium Puzzle.

"I need to take care of him." Ryou was talking more to the pavement instead of to his friends.

"And those bruises you have on yourself are a way of making sure he's happy?" Yami motioned to a new one on his arm. Ryou looked up at him in surprise- he was wearing a sweater.

"A new one?!" Everyone said in unison, Yuugi taking Ryou's arm, pulling up the sweater sleeve- a purple and green bruise the size of a fist adorned his pale skin.

"Damn it- why the hell don't you tell us about these things?!" Joey yelled out, Ryou pulling his arm away and covering his arm up again.

"Yes, Ryou. This shouldn't be happening!" Yuugi was in complete outrage- a tinge of anger in his voice.

"Well- whatever was the reason for the bruise, I bet Ryou deserved it!" Tea said out of nowhere, she had her arms crossed as if no one noticed her attitude. As everyone turned to argue with her, Ryou looked up at Yami who was watching him intently.

'Does he know what I'm doing.?' Yami's look was of calculation. Maybe he did know- and just wanted Ryou to figure it out on his own.


*I don't miss it all that much.
There's just so many things- that I can't touch-
I'm torn*

As soon as he entered through the doorway, Ryou could sense the presence of his darker's anger- but he really had no fear. A punch across the face, a kick in the gut. The boy braced himself as he was abused and thrown against the back of the front door.

"Where the FUCK have you been?!" Bakura's voice was filled with loathing. Ryou didn't respond, he only looked into Bakura's own deep eyes. For a second there seemed a tinge of sadness- but it was quickly dismissed as the young man was hit in the gut by a fast coming fist. "Don't you dare look me in the eye while at the same time acting like a wimp! Stand up and take it like a man!" Bakura punched him once again.

'Stop, Bakura.' Ryou was whispering internally. He knew his yami couldn't hear him, but the words found a way to form in his mind. 'Stop, Bakura. can't you see this really hurts.?' The teenager fell to the ground, Bakura looking down at him.

"So where the hell are your tears right now, baka?" The yami rolled his eyes as Ryou did as he asked- tears sliding down his cheeks silently.

'I hope that made you happy.' His mind wasn't full of sarcasm- but in actual sincerity. He would do anything for him. Taking the pain like made to only made Ryou hope that Bakura was happy to abuse him- and wanting to feel the same as his yami, Ryou took the pain and tried to mix his own pleasure with it all. The young man even wanted that sort of connection to linger- even if it was only in his mind.

*There's nothin' where he used to lie-
My inspiration has run dry.
That's what's goin' on-
Nothin's right I'm torn*

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I need reviews- I need reviews- I need reviews! I know. this section was AWEFULLY long- but I couldn't condense it too much! There was a lot of things I wanted to cover. Um. I'm not completely sure if I'll write another part- but just depending on what I hear.

Um. if you can't get the hint, I don't like Tea. Her pep talks always make me shout at the screen. and. um- a really apologize for my grammar and stuff! I really hate doing that sorta thing. ^_^.