Chapter 7- Which?
The War of the Ring, as they are now calling it, is over. Peace has come to Middle Earth, and I remain still in the houses. My brother has asked me to come to the fields with him, yet I don't desire to. I instead remain here, not knowing why. My life is at a point where I don't really know where I belong. My heart longs to be on the field, rejoicing with my countrymen in victory, but there is something holding me back. It's as if there is an invisible wall surrounding Cormallen, and I must avoid it at all costs.
Why do I feel this way about the Fields? I know Lord Aragorn is there, but he is my friend only. Gone are the days when I desired him to be more than that. If I am forced to see him now, then I may reopen old wounds that are freshly heeled. I've come to far to let that happen.
That healing occurred at these Houses. After facing nothing but depression after the battle of Pelennor, I somehow began to change. My pain began to slowly ease over time. Somehow I had come to be more comfortable as myself during this time. I no longer tried to be something for someone else, but felt free to be me. My mind still cannot grasp how I managed to find even a little happiness while I faced so many tragedies in my life.
The only that had changed during this period was Faramir. He had come into my life facing the same circumstances I had. We had both lost ones that were dear to us during this horrible war, and on top of all, we still had to face the War. I had become his comfort and he mine. We had relied on each other and found solace in our conversations. Faramir was a true friend.
He had cared for me more than any other male in my life. His kind, and sometimes playfully obnoxious, words had always lifted me up, and he had a special keen sense about him. He was able to find the root of my problem without even knowing it, as if he knew my very soul.
Faramir looked out for me like no one had ever before. My brother, cousin, and uncle always cared for me, but they were soldiers in their hearts, and knew not the needs I contained. Faramir was also a soldier, albeit more with his bow than a horse, but he understood when I needing something, and supplied it as best as he knew how. He had been raised as a fighter, but had grown up different from Eomer and I.
Just a few days ago I had been shivering almost uncontrollably in the garden, and Faramir had seen it. Soliders are trained to survive in the harshest conditions, and adapt to any condition. It matters not how you feel, but how successful your legion is as a whole. Despite this, Faramir sent for a cloak for me immediately. He even apologized for not realizing how cold I was at first, which me seemed the most absurd thing I'd ever heard feel sorry about.
I was still cold even with the cloak on, so he wrapped his own cloak, and himself, around me. I quickly got warm, and was glad to have him so near me. I felt calmer around him than anyone before in my life.
Yet all has changed since that day. With the War over, Gondor now had to prepare itself for the new kingdom, and Faramir was the one to do so. With both Denethor and Boromir dead, he was the heir, the Steward of Gondor. He had to assist in the proving of Aragorn as the true King of Gondor, and open the city to its new leader.
Going from a time of utter destruction to one of jubilant celebration was one of drastic change. All the arrangements fell onto Faramir's head, so he had to leave the Houses. His day, from sunup to sundown, is full of decision making, and he's extremely busy.
I remain here, in the Houses still. I am not fully healed so am not allowed to go anywhere. Around me the city is full of life and light, and I remain dismal. I am alone in my world, not knowing anything or anyone in Gondor. I can manage it though, I have been alone before and pulled through.
The War of the Ring, as they are now calling it, is over. Peace has come to Middle Earth, and I remain still in the houses. My brother has asked me to come to the fields with him, yet I don't desire to. I instead remain here, not knowing why. My life is at a point where I don't really know where I belong. My heart longs to be on the field, rejoicing with my countrymen in victory, but there is something holding me back. It's as if there is an invisible wall surrounding Cormallen, and I must avoid it at all costs.
Why do I feel this way about the Fields? I know Lord Aragorn is there, but he is my friend only. Gone are the days when I desired him to be more than that. If I am forced to see him now, then I may reopen old wounds that are freshly heeled. I've come to far to let that happen.
That healing occurred at these Houses. After facing nothing but depression after the battle of Pelennor, I somehow began to change. My pain began to slowly ease over time. Somehow I had come to be more comfortable as myself during this time. I no longer tried to be something for someone else, but felt free to be me. My mind still cannot grasp how I managed to find even a little happiness while I faced so many tragedies in my life.
The only that had changed during this period was Faramir. He had come into my life facing the same circumstances I had. We had both lost ones that were dear to us during this horrible war, and on top of all, we still had to face the War. I had become his comfort and he mine. We had relied on each other and found solace in our conversations. Faramir was a true friend.
He had cared for me more than any other male in my life. His kind, and sometimes playfully obnoxious, words had always lifted me up, and he had a special keen sense about him. He was able to find the root of my problem without even knowing it, as if he knew my very soul.
Faramir looked out for me like no one had ever before. My brother, cousin, and uncle always cared for me, but they were soldiers in their hearts, and knew not the needs I contained. Faramir was also a soldier, albeit more with his bow than a horse, but he understood when I needing something, and supplied it as best as he knew how. He had been raised as a fighter, but had grown up different from Eomer and I.
Just a few days ago I had been shivering almost uncontrollably in the garden, and Faramir had seen it. Soliders are trained to survive in the harshest conditions, and adapt to any condition. It matters not how you feel, but how successful your legion is as a whole. Despite this, Faramir sent for a cloak for me immediately. He even apologized for not realizing how cold I was at first, which me seemed the most absurd thing I'd ever heard feel sorry about.
I was still cold even with the cloak on, so he wrapped his own cloak, and himself, around me. I quickly got warm, and was glad to have him so near me. I felt calmer around him than anyone before in my life.
Yet all has changed since that day. With the War over, Gondor now had to prepare itself for the new kingdom, and Faramir was the one to do so. With both Denethor and Boromir dead, he was the heir, the Steward of Gondor. He had to assist in the proving of Aragorn as the true King of Gondor, and open the city to its new leader.
Going from a time of utter destruction to one of jubilant celebration was one of drastic change. All the arrangements fell onto Faramir's head, so he had to leave the Houses. His day, from sunup to sundown, is full of decision making, and he's extremely busy.
I remain here, in the Houses still. I am not fully healed so am not allowed to go anywhere. Around me the city is full of life and light, and I remain dismal. I am alone in my world, not knowing anything or anyone in Gondor. I can manage it though, I have been alone before and pulled through.