For those of you who have heard this song, I understand it's sorta… happy-ish. I know! But I had to write this track… THIS WAY. So please don't get mad at me! It's all part of a master plan! [hides] don't hurt me! Or else I can't finish! RYOU WILL RECOVER, I SWEAR! Oh- and Emiru is just a character for this track. She might show up a couple more times, but don't worry, I really only need her to show how Ryou actually feels… she's just a mirror- as I say!

Disclaimer: Read the first track
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*…*: song lyrics   '…': thoughts

Left of the Middle: Wishing I Was There
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*Take your hand and place it in my pocket-
Flick your eyes back in their sockets-
Put those thoughts away,
Sometimes they're much too loud…*

He smiled broadly; the young woman was shaking his hand with a smile on her face as well. "I'm so pleased to finally meet you." She looked a bit shy, but interest looked as if it lingered in her eyes.

"I'm pleased to meet you as well." Ryou nodded, crossing his arms over his chest once again. It had been over 4 months since Bakura had left- and now it seemed as if he might live without him. At least that's what the young man kept telling himself. His friends had insisted that he take his mind off his yami.

'Get a girlfriend!' Joey had said.

'Or a boyfriend...' Yuugi had encouraged. After all- he seemed happy enough with his yami. But it wasn't the same, was it?

"Well- I guess I'll see you tomorrow then, Ryou-san. You've better call me too!" The girl bowed to him. Ryou instinctively bowed back.

"You don't need to call me Ryou-san, Emiru-san." The two laughed lightly.

"I'll stop calling you Ryou-san if you don't call me Emiru-san, alright?" The dark haired girl winked as Ryou nodded. "Later…!" She waved,

turning and leaving the class room, a few girls now talking excitedly at her. Her friends kept glancing at the young man.

Ryou sighed, closing his eyes. 'What am I doing?' He ran his fingers through his silver hair. The entire idea now seemed stupid. 'Am I really even ready for this..?' He reached for his books, checking for anything that may have left behind.

"Emiru is nice, I hope?" Ryou's dark eyes looked up at Yami who was sitting on the desk behind his, elbows on his knees.

"Yes… why do you ask?" He stood upright, books at his side.

"Yuugi proposed that maybe you two would be good together, but you don't seem so excited." Yami tilted his head.

"I'm sorry that… I'm not." Ryou looked down at the ground; it was the truth. His fellow classmate was attractive, funny, and popular; she wasn't as superficial as some of the other women in his life. But she seemed only a complete mirror of him. That's what everyone said about him anyway…

"It's alright if you don't like her in the way she wants. You don't have to apologize for anything."

"I don't want her to be hurt because of me. Emiru is a very nice person." Ryou sighed.

"Too much like you, you mean?" Yami smiled lightly at Ryou's surprised face. "You miss Bakura don't you?"

"Uh…" Ryou looked down again; he could feel his pale cheeks starting to tint. "You shouldn't be bringing that up, Yami-san… everyone is trying so hard to make me forget him." His fingers nervously traced the outlines of the letters on his books. Yami's eyes followed the young man's fingers, he understood to some extent.

"You don't have to hide your feelings about him gone from me. I personally have no idea what I would do if Yuugi were to suddenly be gone from me." His eyes shifted to his own hikari who was talking to a fellow classmate; both were motioning to a book between them, Yuugi occasionally making a few notes in the margin.

"Yeah well- both you and Yuugi get along perfectly." Ryou's voice was slightly more aggressive than he'd intended, Yami looking up at him. "Bakura hates me."

*I'll take a breath, and cradle you sweet head-
Should've stayed at home in bed…
Put that face away- I'm melting for you.*

His slippers made a soft tapping noise as he walked through his home; the wooden floor sparkled from the hard work he'd done in cleaning it. Ryou yawned, looking down at the light purple digital watch around his wrist.

'Oh yeah… I'm supposed to call Emiru tonight…' Walking into the living room, he went through his school books, pulling out a slip of paper with a phone number scratched neatly onto it in pink ink; there was a chibi rabbit winking at him from the side of it. A smile slipped onto his lips as he starred at it for a second. Reaching for the cordless phone nearby, he dialed the young woman's phone number, listening to the ringing.

He sighed, looking around the room. One ring…. His eyes fell to the spot where he'd been thrown on the ground by Bakura on his last night there. Two rings… Ryou's chocolate eyes starred at it imagining his yami's cold eyes starring down at him. Three rings…

"Moshi moshi." A female's voice spoke lightly.

Ryou shook his head. The place was almost a spot of meditation. "Uh… hello?"

The voice responded in an expectant, "hello…"

"Uh… I'm calling for Emiru."

"This is she…" She still sounded confused. The young man looked down at the white paper still in his hand.

"This is Ryou. You asked me to call?" Ryou looked up at the ceiling.

"Oh- Ryou! You should have said something earlier… getting me worried and all…"

*I know- I get cold-
Cuz I can't leave things well alone
Understand I'm accident prone
Me- I get free…
Every night the moon is mine…-*

The pen's tip lightly scribbled the note on Ryou's Utada Hikaru calendar attached to the inside of his door. "Date w/ Emiru- 6.30". Ryou stepped back from his door starring at the small number in the square where he had written. The date was exactly 6 months since Bakura had left; time had certainly passed. The two classmates had seen and called each other more and more, and Ryou finally had the strength to ask her on a date.

But it wasn't that he was scarred of being rejected. If anything, he could tell by the way she constantly brought up days she would be "bored at home" that she wanted to go out. It was that he felt as if he was some how rejecting his yami- betraying him.

'No… stupid thoughts.' Ryou had finally convinced himself that it was for the better. He had to open himself up to her and then he'd finally forget about the man who'd abused him and who was finally out of his life. Did he love him? No- it was a stupid childish obsession with someone who was his complete opposite.

The young man laid down on his bed; his fingers cradled his head. Ryou smiled lightly, closing his eyes. He could almost picture Emiru's smile, her small soft hand reaching out to his.

'She's so nice to me…' Ryou kept repeating the words in his mind- but he knew he was failing. The image of her disappeared, fading into the smile of his yami's. Bakura was caressing his cheek. 'No… he's mean to me…' Ryou kept trying to convince himself as the image of his yami leaned in to kiss his forehead. The apparition was whispering something- but Ryou could hear nothing. 'Please Bakura… no… Emiru is here with me- not you…' But it was as if his words were in vain. The image of Bakura was pushing up against him, warmth running down his body. Was he supposed to actually FEEL warmth on him- in his imagination? Ryou longed for it.

The imaginary Bakura kissed his neck lightly, strong muscular arms wrapping around Ryou's waist, pulling him closer. The young man felt weak in his yami's arms.

"Hikari…" Ryou could finally hear Bakura's words- he was whispering in his ear. "Hikari…" That was all he was saying.

'Bakura…' Ryou's body seemed frail in a way that Ryou accepted without fail.

"Hikari…" the image repeated its words as the yami's lips approached his own.

'Bakura…'

*But when the morning comes- don't say you love me- don't say you need me-
I really don't think that's fair.
Boy, I'm not so dumb…
But when you leave me-
I'll be wishing I, wishing I, wishing I was there…*

The young man stretched, silver hair falling carelessly down his naked back. It was a rare occasion that he slept in, but with the dream he had the night before- he felt it was appropriate. Ryou stood, making his bed slowly, yawning all the time. Making his way down the stairs of his silent home, he walked into the kitchen, starring at the table. Just once he would love to have someone cook for him.

His body slumped into one of the 4 wooden chairs. Saturday morning and he felt empty. He didn't want to do anything. But somehow, he knew he was going to be forced to. Someone would call- or come to his door- always something. Ryou closed his eyes in an attempt to go back to sleep. The dream of the night before was flashing through his mind.

Bakura kissing him with a slow soft vigor, his imaginary lips tasted like caramel melting against Ryou's tongue; the chills he'd felt as his yami's hands traveled into his hair, pulling lightly at the strands- almost massaging his scalp; the feeling of Bakura's hardened length against the inside of his thigh. Ryou licked his lips. Yet nothing had happened in the dream. It seemed as if the illusion was only there to comfort his mind and drift him into the night's sleep. Without noticing, the young man was lightly touching his own lips- wishing that the taste of his illusion still lingered.

The phone rang; for an instance Ryou felt scarred. If someone saw him like this- what would they say? They would say something to Emiru… The phone rang again. He shook his head, standing and reaching for the phone.

"Hello?" He tried to talk normally instead of in an exasperated tone.

"Afternoon, sleepy- head!" Emiru's voice was cheerful. "I've been trying to call all morning, ya know!"

"Gomen…" Ryou yawned once again. 'I need to forget him…'

"Don't you have a phone in your room or anything?"

"No… why?" 'I need to forget him so I don't hurt her… she deserves someone who's faithful and wants only her.'

"So you'll hear the phone every time I call, baka!" She laughed lightly, Ryou doing the same to show he was paying attention.

'I want to forget him… so I can't concentrate on only her… but… I can't…'

*I dreamt about another girl in bed with you.
You just laughed and smiled- denied the proof…
We're fine till I think of the problem…*

Her hand moved slowly to his, her thumb was soon caressing his knuckles. He starred down at their physical connection. It felt wonderful to have the woman give some affection; it felt empty.

"Thank you so much for asking me to come with you today, Ryou-chan." Emiru smiled; her long dark brown hair accented her pale green eyes. "I had a lot of fun." Ryou smiled up at her. The two were sitting at a small French restaurant- a small table between the two where two almost empty trays of chocolate mousse in front of each person.

"Me too." Emiru was blushing; Ryou looked down. For some odd reason, he knew the moment wasn't right.

"I… I don't know how to say this… but- I really like you, Ryou. Most guys will only really stick around to make themselves look good- but… I can feel that you're staying with me because you care." Her other hand reached out to Ryou's face, caressing his jawbone with her index and middle finger. "I really like that in you. It's so hard to find someone like you." The young man stayed silent, but he smiled at her.

Ryou was afraid of what he would say if he opened his mouth. The truth was that he loved her because of her concern for others- how she loved to help others. But he had never really had feelings for her that might involve a relationship Emiru wanted. All he could do was try and comfort her; Ryou knew he would eventually have to say something.

"Ryou… I would really like it if we could be like this…" She lightly guided him closer, the two leaning closer over the small table. The male could feel what was about to happen, but was hesitant to think of a way to stop it. "I… really…" And their lips were instantly locked. Emiru's eyes were closed lightly, Ryou felt scarred at how sincere she was- and how he had no feelings for her at all.

'I can't do this…. I…. just can't… Bakura…' Someone bumped into his shoulder, breaking their kiss. It was like electricity. Before Ryou even looked up, he knew who it was. His chocolate eyes looked up at the man who had passed, a smaller girl next to him, hand in his back pocket.

"Bakura…" Ryou whispered as the two passed; it seemed that his yami had somehow heard his name, he looked over his shoulder. His dark eyes were blank as they bore into him- like they'd never met before in their lives. Emiru followed Ryou's eyes to the other male who then turned, holding the woman with him closer- Tea.

"Wow- you two look so much alike… do you know each other?" She spoke very light heartedly. Ryou swallowed his failing pride.

"No- I've never seen him in my life."

*I wish it made sense-
Like a joke that no one gets…
It's a life without regret-
I wanted to feel that way, forever and ever…*

The rain fell hard against his back as he walked slowly through the wet streets of Domino- the place looked like a wet watercolor picture. All the colors were fading together, running in an endless stream through the gutters and drains. Ryou's body longed to fall onto the pavement underneath him and have the pounding rain wash him away, but he kept his body upright and functioning.

"No- I've never seen him in my life." His words liked to come back and haunt him, right? Emiru had been dropped off about an hour before- and since he'd left her doorstep, he'd wandered the streets. He didn't care if the wind was cold and the rain was unmerciful. It was nothing compared on how he was seeing himself.

'He looked at me like…' Ryou didn't even have the tears to cry. They had all somehow been spent on the six months of Bakura's absence. Now all he could do was hope the rain would wash his pain away, or even try to calm him. 'And he saw me kissing her…'

"But I didn't want to kiss her… gomen, Bakura… gomen nasai…" Ryou mumbled lightly, salty rain washing over his lips. There would be no longer the caramel taste from his dreams.

But was he upset or depressed? Ryou couldn't even make up his mind. He was still with Tea- who cared what was happening with him and Emiru. Ryou knew for a fact that Tea was sleeping with him.

'God… forget about her!' He shivered for the first time in the dark
. The look on his yami's blank face was the only thing he really cared about.

"Oh… look at you…" A voice snapped him from his internal argument. Ryou turned around, three tall good-looking men stood there with raincoats. "We couldn't help but notice you're out here by yourself." They all looked at him with concern. "You're all wet…" The one speaking reached out and ran his index finger down Ryou's cheek. The young man took a step back, the three men laughing lightly.

"Ah… don't do that…" Another man spoke; the two men on the ends stepped up closer to him, they were all surrounding him.  "You're such a pretty boy, too…" They were all stepping up close to him.

"What do you want…?" Ryou knew that even if he tried to fight- they were all bigger- there were more of them- they would overpower him no matter what.

"Just to take care of you, pretty boy…" The three took hold of him, dragging him kicking and screaming to an alley in a dark and silent street of Domino.

*I know… I get cold-
Cuz I can't leave things well alone- understand I'm accident prone.
Me… I get free…
Every night the moon is mine-
But when the morning comes, don't say you love me- don't say you need me-
I really don't think that's fair-
Boy, I'm not so dumb…
But when you leave me-
I'll be wishing I, wishing I, wishing I was there…*

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PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I told you- it had to be done! (and for those who don't understand what happened… -_-. You'll get it by the time I finish the next track!) But believe me, the next will probably be really… mushy. O.o well, hopefully not so mushy. "Smoke" is a good song- it always makes me want to cry...